The Heroes Parody Project 6
by Spencer44
Summary: Claire and Peter are stuck in Odessa, Elle tries to break out of the mobile base, Niki and the others have to go into the Evernow world in an attempt to stop the virus from releasing.
1. The New World

**The Heroes Parody Project  
Season 6  
Chapter 1**

 **Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. Excluding Celebrity Parody, all characters represented in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to any real life person, living or dead, is completely coincidental. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.**

Sultry Voice: Next Summer...only on NBC. Next Summer's Next Biggest Hit. Only Next Summer...

Niki lowers the script.

Niki: Again?! Who wrote this? It's way too repetitive. I think we know by now that its NEXT SUMMER.

Niki goes back to reading.

Niki (sultry voice): It's "Must Summer T.V"...oh good grief. That doesn't even make any sense. Just watch the damn show.

She flings the script.

 **Next Summer...NBC raises the bar with next year's most talked about original fantasy drama thriller**..." **Checkmate".**

 **Two Kingdoms...**

King Peter Petrelli raises his scepter.

 **Torn apart by a Hundred Thousand Century War**

Niki: "A Hundred Thousand Centuries"!? That's like...Ten Million Years! Humans weren't even invented yet!

King Matthew Parkman stews on his throne.

 **They must bring their armies together...for one last decisive battle.**

King Peter, Queen Elle, and their loyal subjects:

Noah, Brave Knight of The Army Of Blackstone.  
Nathan, The Bishop, healer of ailments.

Their army marches while on the other side, as King Matthew and this wife, Queen Nicole Sanderina Of Internet Strippershire...

Niki: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF NAME IS THAT?!

Hiro, Brave Knight of The Army Of White Lions  
Claire, The Bishop, healer of...

Claire: Oh my god! I just realized...is this CHESS!? Are we seriously doing a CHESS SHOW?!

Niki: It doesn't get any worse than this...

 **Be there...when the first and final battle begins again for the first time!**

Peter: You're playing a dangerous game of Chess, King Parkman.

Matt: And I believe you're already in checkmate, old friend.

Peter: This...sounds vaguely similar to the "Son Of A Rich" script we did last season.

Matt: Oh yeah, totally ripped it from that. Saves us money on writing actual original material.

Peter: That's brilliant!

 **The Drama and Intrigue NEVER stops.**

Niki looks at herself in the mirror.

Niki: Damn, I am one good looking Queen. YES! And look at those eye brows! Plucked for the Gods!...Except for that little booger right there.

She turns her head and notices one eyebrow hair sticking out 6 inches from her head.

Niki: EWWW! Where did that even come from? Let's go ahead and take care of you.

Niki takes her tweezers and plucks the hair from her face...all the remaining eye brow hairs immediately fall out.

Niki: AHHHHH! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?

Hiro rushes in.

Hiro: My Queen! I heard screaming!

Niki: Don't look! I'm missing the Royal Brows!

Hiro: I can see that. It look like you plucked a "load bearing brow". It's the one that holds all the others in place.

Niki: Oh, shut up! That's not a thing!

Hiro: Yes, my Queen.

Niki: What am I going to do?

Hiro: Best thing to do in this situation is to even them out!

Hiro grabs a cloth with hot wax on it. He presses it against Niki's left eye brows and rips.

Niki: AHHHHHH!

Hiro: There...perfect symmetry!

Niki: No! This won't work! GET ME BROWS! NOW!

Hiro: Yes, my liege.

Hiro returns with a box.

Hiro: I have retrieved some new brows from the Royal Blacksmith, your Majesty. They say they're from the 'Mr. Potato Head' line. I think they'll look ravishing on you.

He slaps two sets of brows on Niki, she looks at herself in the mirror.

Niki: I guess they'll have to do.

A Pawn runs in.

Pawn: My Queen! King Petrelli of The North is invading.

Niki rotates her eyebrows into a downward angle.

Niki: Now I'm REALLY mad!

 **The Romance...**

King Peter enters the Kingly Bath Chambers. Queen Elle is in the Royal Bath.

Elle: My King! Join me in the royal bath...the water is EVER so nice.

Peter walks over and looks at the water.

Peter: Uh...What's wrong with the water? It looks odd.

Elle: It's actually Milk. From the Royal Cows...it's supposed to do wonders for the skin. I highly recommend that we retain our Royal Beauty.

Peter: Well...we are the two most beautiful people in the main cast...okay!

Peter strips his clothes off and slides into the bath.

Peter: EWWWWWW! What's wrong with this Milk?!

Elle: It's actually Cottage Cheese. Retained from the Royal Wal-Mart.

Peter: YUCK! Why would you bathe in Cottage Cheese!? Ewwwww, it's all curdly and gross!

Elle: I don't know!

Peter: Ugh! Where are the servants...some rats just made off with my clothes.

Elle: Rats made off with my clothes too! I think they're trying to start a business.

Peter: SERVAAAAAANTS!

Elle: Don't bother, they're not here.

Peter: What happened to the servants?!

Elle: They made fun of me for bathing in Cottage Cheese...so I had them all killed.

Peter: Well, that was a silly thing for you to do! What are we going to do now?!

Elle: Run like hell to the bed chambers?

Peter: Fine...hopefully nobody will notice. Let's be discreet.

Peter and Elle climb out of the bathroom and start sprinting toward the door.

SPLORK! SPLORK! SPLORK! SPLORK! SPLORK!

Elle: The cottage cheese is squishing between my toes! It's so gross!

Peter: Just keep running!

Elle: Where are the bed chambers?!

Peter: How should I know?! I usually have people carry me to my room.

 **The Action...**

Niki takes off one of her eye brows and flings it. The projectile sticks in the neck of the guards patrolling the Cathedral.

Niki: Go, my Brave Knight!

Hiro: Yes, my Queen!

Hiro steals Niki's other eyebrow and takes off running.

Hiro (running away): FOR THE KINGDOM!

Niki: HEY, GIVE THAT BACK!

Bishop Nathan: You may have infiltrated my Cathedral. But the power of the Gods will give me the strength to strike you down.

Knight Hiro: You will die the most honorable of deaths, flying man!

Nathan: HAVE AT YOU!

Nathan takes off running in a diagonal direction, completely passing Hiro.

Hiro: Where are you going!?

Nathan: I'm the Bishop, I can only move diagonally. Can you do me a favor and move about seven steps to your right?

Hiro moves over. Nathan takes off running...missing him again.

Nathan: Crap...okay...move a little bit that way.

Hiro moves. Nathan runs and misses.

Nathan: Ugh...

Hiro: Hold on...let me move over here. Now go ahead.

Nathan runs over and stabs Hiro in the stomach with a knife.

Hiro: AHHH!...That was totally unexpected...

Hiro falls to the ground.

Noah: As the Brave Knight, I will avenge my friend...and Kingdom! (He points his sword at Claire, the Bishop)

Claire: Give me a break! All I have to fight with are these silly Incense Sticks...and boy do they stink...oh, I have my staff...there's something rattling on the inside.

Claire breaks open the top of her staff and M&M's fall out onto the floor.

Claire: What!?...What is this!? Is this staff filled with candy!? Who gave me this?!

Noah: Die, Cleric!

Noah takes two steps forward and one step to the side.

Claire: …...

Noah: …...

Claire: …...

Noah: This is stupid.

Noah throws his stuff to the ground and walks off set. Claire shoves a handful of M&M's in her mouth and makes a sour face.

Claire (mouth full): I don't think those are M&M's...

Claire spits in a nearby trash can. She picks up a candy wrapper.

Claire: W&W's!? Does this show even have any money!?

 **Choose a side...**

Peter: This ends now!

Matt: Agreed!

Peter and Matt start moving very, very, VERY slowly towards each other.

Claire: UGH! This battle is going to take forever. I can see why this stupid feud lasted ten million years.

Nathan: Did anybody else see The King and Queen running naked through the Castle covered in cottage cheese or am I just crazy?

Claire: You're crazy.

Claire turns and immediately slips on a pool of cottage cheese.

Claire: Okay...I just broke something...I'm done! Can we go back to our stupid show now so I can unbreak my bones...?

 **CHECKMATE...Next Summer. Check your local listings for what Season you can catch the show.**

Niki: IT'S NEXT SUMMER! What is wrong with you people!?

Claire is in the hospital, the Doctor walks in.

Doctor: Good Morning, Claire.

Claire: Aren't you the doctor who swapped Matt and Niki's faces? Are you even licensed to practice medicine?

Doctor: Of course. Now, we need to do something about those broken bones.

Claire: If I could just get back to my damn show this wouldn't be a problem.

Doctor: No, the studio covered it. To help you heal faster we brought in legendary R&B singer, Toni Braxton.

The lights cut off as the spotlight shines on Toni Braxton.

Toni Braxton (singing): _Un-break Claire's boooones, say you'll love her agaaain. Undo this hurt that you caused when she slipped on the floor and walked out of her liiiiife..._

The Doctor leans over to Claire.

Doctor: Now your show doesn't have any money.

Claire: Ugh...

She pulls the hospital sheets over her head.

 **Peter: Previously on Heroes...**

Hiro (to Mohinder): I have to go out and make sure everyone made it out of the afterlife okay.

Matt is in prison.

Peter: What happened?

Matt: I don't know. All I remember is us being in the future. Then we came to this universe...and now I'm holding up a bank.

Claire (to Janice Parkman, now a Lawyer): Is there any way you can help us?

Janice: It would be a conflict of interest. So I can't. But I know someone who can.

Claire (to West Rosen): You're a Lawyer?!

West: Yup, fresh out of Lawyer school! I'll help you with your case.

Gavel bangs.

West: I can't help you with your case.

Hiro: I see that you're doing well for yourself, Bob. You have a Golden Hotel.

Mohinder: With ridiculous prices!

Bob: I can't say the same for Elle. She's become the leader of a biker gang.

Elle (to Hiro): Now that you're a part of the group. We're taking down my old man's hotel. We won't stand for his shady business practices.

Claire (to Tracy Strauss): So...what's going on here? What happened to Niki?

Niki (as Tracy's reflection in the mirror): Still here.

Tracy: There must have been some sort of mixup when you came here...now we're both the same person. We can switch bodies using mirrors, however.

Peter: Can you help us get Matt out of prison?

Tracy: I'll talk to the Mayor and see what we can do.

Claire: We need to get back to Texas to see what has my dad all in a huff.

The mysterious woman, Joanne, gets a message from Molly Walker. She pinpoints Sylar's location to Australia.

Joanne (on the phone): I need to book a flight.

Peter and Claire walk into the Bennet home.

Noah: Claire, I have some people I want you to meet.

He gives her an envelope with the picture of a teenage boy and girl.

Noah: They're your children, Claire.

Claire: …...

 **Peter, Claire, and Noah  
Odessa, Texas  
Hoooome, Hooome on the Maaaange...MANGE!? That can't be right. Someone page the writer's room. That HAS to be a typo.**

Noah is sitting at the kitchen table. Claire is across from him, looking over the portfolios of her children.

Claire: This is nuts...I do not remember having children.

Peter: Well, Claire, you wouldn't. We came from a completely different timeline.

Sandra walks in.

Sandra: Oh, Claire, it's so nice to see you're not dead.

Claire: I really wish people would stop saying that.

Sandra: Peter, dear, can I get you some hot chocolate with marshmallows?

Peter: Can I actually just get a cup of marshmallows with a few drops of hot chocolate in it instead? A Reverse Hot Chocolate!

Sandra: Of course!

She walks away as Claire looks at Peter.

Peter: What? It's a thing!

Noah: Ok, just so I have this right. We were trying to rescue Claire from the Carnival...

Claire: I exposed our powers and ended the world...but for the greater good.

Peter: While that happened, the Universe needed to be reborn into a new universe. But it was stuck because we were still in the future timeline of the previous universe. Trying to stop Daniel Linderman's ancestor.

Noah: Uh huh...

Peter: Then we came back and the new universe was frozen. Which was due to a death loophole that Niki and Bob Bishop avoided since they were in the future with us at the time. Stuck in the afterlife, Hiro had to "death himself" with Mohindery Equipment to go into the afterlife and bring them back.

Noah: Uh huh...

Peter: Which was a successful mission, because the world is up and running again. But now there's some crazy woman after us.

Noah: Did she follow you here?

Claire: I...can't imagine. We teleported.

Peter: I don't know what her deal was. She blamed us for giving her son powers. Aw, I should have asked what they were. I could've had a new power.

Noah: Hmm. This can't be a coincidence. I can't take the risk if she's working for Erica...

Claire: Who's Erica?

Noah: Erica Kravid...a ruthless, cunning woman. Who is now my new boss. She bought out The Company and renamed it...The Kompany. Ick!

Peter and Claire look at each other, they shrug.

Noah: …..with a 'K'.

Peter and Claire: Oohhhhhhhh...okay.

Peter: Gross.

Noah: If she finds out that you're actually alive, she may use you for her own personal gain. I can't allow that.

Claire: If this woman sucks so much why are you working for her!?

Noah: Tracking and using people and their abilities for her top secret reasons...it's just sick. I take pride in my work. Long gone are the days I used to track and use people and their abilities for my top secret reasons. I'm not going to let this woman destroy my life's work. I'm going to find her weakness...and shut her down.

Claire: So...what does this have to do with my kids?

Noah: She knows they're your kids so who knows what she wants to do with them. I have to protect them the only way I know how...by sending them into the future to live with your mother (points to Peter).

Peter: My mother?! Oh no, she eats children! We have to go rescue them!

Noah: What...?

Claire: Peter, she doesn't do that...anymore...if what the Internet says is true. Wait...the future?!

Noah: Yes...after they were born and we thought you didn't make it through the pregnancy I knew their lives were immediately in danger. So I had Hiro take them 20 years into the future for them to grow up so I can bring them back. I mean, let's be serious. I don't want to clean up diapers. I paid my dues.

Claire: Wouldn't it make more sense if you sent them 20 years in the past so they'll be older now?

Noah: I...didn't think of that.

Peter: But how would they be older now if they're not in the same timeline when they...oh, and there's the nosebleed! These time travel plots always get me.

Peter grabs two Marshmallows and shove them up his nose.

Peter: There! Sweet relief!

Claire: Ew...Anyway, I wonder, would Hiro remember this?

Peter: Doubt it. He's been in both the future AND the afterlife. Coming here he probably doesn't remember doing this for Noah at all.

Claire: So we need to get back to Hiro.

Noah: No! In fact, I changed my mind. I can't have Erica's henchmen tracking you down, finding a time traveler, and following you to the future. We're better off leaving them there for now.

Claire: You can't make a huge deal about me having kids then tell me I can't see them. You were better off not telling me. And it's not like I'm going...to...forget...

Noah looks up from his phone.

Noah: I'm not texting anyone.

Claire: He's getting the Haitian! Peter! Teleport!

Claire grabs Peter's shirt and they teleport out of the house.

Noah: Hmph!

The Haitian walks into the kitchen, holding a mug.

Noah: Where were you?!

Haitian: I was coming...

The Haitian takes a sip of his Reverse Hot Chocolate. A few marshmallows stick to his face.

Noah: …...

The Haitian brushes them off.

Haitian: What?...It's a thing.

 **= = = = = = = = = =  
(HEROES)  
= = = = = = = = = = **

**Elle, Hiro, and Mohinder  
The Golden Palace Hotel Resort And Pool Casino  
The Casino is in the pool? That just sounds dangerous.**

Elle makes her way down a hallway to the elevator. Hiro and Mohinder aren't far behind.

Hiro: Elle! What are you going to do? You're not going to kill Bob, are you?

Elle: What? No! I'm just going to talk some sense into him. Make him see to our demands.

Hiro: What are you demands?

Elle: Quit.

Mohinder: Oh, well, that's reasonable.

The elevator reaches the first floor. On the doors it reads:

 **Volume Eleven "Rebirth"**

The doors open as Elle, Mohinder and Hiro get on the elevator. The doors close to read:

 **Chapter One "The New World"**

Elle turns to Hiro and Mohinder.

Elle: Okay, we have some time to chat. Let me be the first to officially welcome you to The Elle's Angels. We don't take crap from anybody...unless we're robbing The Manure Plant...then we take all their crap. Get it? It's a thinking piece.

Mohinder: No, not really.

Hiro: Why would you steal manure...nevermind...Elle! This isn't you. Joining a gang, waving guns around, sporting a really cool blue bandana that I'm totally jealous of because I can never pull off something like that! You need to come back to the Light side of the Force!

Elle: I can't...not until I finish my unfinished business.

The elevator doors open and the three of them walk out. Bob Bishop is sitting at his desk.

Bob: Elle! How good it is to see you, my wonderful daughter.

Elle pulls out a gun and fires a bullet right between Bob's eyes.

Hiro and Mohinder: AHHHHHHH!

Hiro: ELLE?! WHAT THE CRAP!?

Elle: It's done.

Mohinder: But...but...b.b. ...what just happened!? You just shot your own father!

Elle: No...I didn't...

Elle walks over to Bob's body...she motions for Hiro and Mohinder to come over...they see someone completely different on the floor.

Hiro: Who is that?!

Elle: A ruthless shape shifter responsible for the deaths of many. After he started posing as my father...he was going to ruin his good name. I couldn't allow that...now that he's dead, I can get closer to finding who my father's murderer was.

Hiro: Okay...that makes...Wait...WHAT!? MURDERER?!

Elle: Yes...he was killed...I...couldn't stop it.

Hiro: But he was in the afterlife with us! Don't you remember?!

Elle: Sort of...it's still a little fuzzy...but it wasn't until we came back his fate was sealed.

Hiro: We haven't even been back for a day! Who could have killed him that quick?!

Elle: I intend to find out...

Elle stands up and flashes her badge.

Elle: Elle Bishop...Private Investigator. I've spent the past five years undercover working my way through the ranks to be the lead of the Elle's Angels in order to find my father's killer. Now I'm one step closer.

Hiro: We haven't been back that long! You died in the original timeline! Oh, I'm so frustrated.

Mohinder: It was still called 'Elle's Angels' before she became the leader? What are the odds of that?

Hiro: I think I'm going to throw up.

Peter and Claire arrive from their teleport. Nothing looks familiar.

Claire: Oh great...are we dead?!

Peter: No...I don't think we are...

Peter and Claire walk around, they find a gate leading to a house. Peter opens the gate.

Peter: Whoa...look at this nice house. It has a pool! I'm gonna go take a look.

Claire: Hey! What are you doing? You're breaking and entering!

Peter: I'm not in the house. It doesn't count.

Claire: Uh...yeah, it kinda does. You're on the property.

Peter: Let's talk to the proprietor and see who is right.

Peter walks off.

Claire: …..

Peter walks up to the house and stops dead in his tracks.

Peter: Uh...Claire?

Claire: What?

Peter: I think you should see this.

Claire walks up to Peter in the window, they see two teenagers inside playing table tennis.

Claire: Holy crap...that's them. I remember them from the folder. Those are my children, Peter! I don't know how to process this.

Peter: I can't believe it...I'm an Uncle.

Claire: Uh...you're already an Uncle.

Peter: Whose?

Claire: MINE! My dad is Nathan, you're his brother.

Peter: Oh yeah. Well, I'm looking forward to being their Uncle too.

Claire: You wouldn't be their Uncle. You'd be their...Grand Uncle...Super Uncle...Uncle Plus...I don't know, I'm not an Ancestry Wizard.

Peter: I should be an Ancestry Wizard.

Inside, Tommy just finishes his game of table tennis with Malina, totally destroying her.

Malina: This game is ridiculous. How are you supposed to hit a ball coming toward you that fast with these tiny paddles?

Tommy: Practice, dear sister. Gotta practice. You know, I was willing to let you slide with the excuse that you were distracted by the two weirdos gawking at us through the window.

Malina turns around to see Peter and Claire up against the window, fogging it up with their breaths.

Malina: …...is it too late to use that?

Tommy: Yep.

Malina: Crap.

They hear a voice coming from the other room.

Voice: Would you children like some tea?

Angela, who has aged quite a bit, enters the room carrying a tray of tea.

Claire: Peter, look! It's Angela!

Peter: It is!

Angela looks up, she drops the tray of tea.

Angela: AHHHH!

Peter: HI MA! (waves)

Claire covers her face.

Angela does a finger shaming gesture toward the two of them.

Peter (to Claire): Oh, you're going to get it now.

Claire: Ugh...

Back in the present. A confused looking man walks into Elle's Ice Cream Shoope Formerly Known As Elle's Angels Hideout.

Man: Shoope?!

The clerk working the stand, Emily, greets him.

Emily: Hi, welcome to Elle's Ice Cream Shoope Formerly Known As Elle's Angels Hideout! What can I get for you?

Man: Uh...What's a "Shoope"?

Emily: Oh...that's just a typo. I hope...

Man: Ah...are you Elle?

Emily: Oh...no...I'm Emily. Elle is out at the moment. We just opened our shop so we're still setting up things.

Man: I see...well...um...my name's Quentin...I was hoping to talk to Elle...

Emily: I'm sure she'll be back shortly. Why don't you have a seat?

Quentin: Sure!...Okay...

Quentin hops up to a seat.

Quentin: So...what kind of flavors do you have?

Emily: Flavors?

Quentin: Of...Ice...Cream?

Emily: Oh...this store is actually a front for a Private Investigation business...let me check in the back, see if we actually have any.

Emily walks off. Quentin looks confused.

Meanwhile at the airport. Joanne, the mysterious assassin, walks down the terminal. She looks around to see a red headed woman sitting down. She walks over and sits in the seat behind her, back to back.

Joanne: I wanted to thank you for your help. I don't like working for Erica Kravid...but if it will help me exact my revenge against those awful people and their special abilities. They ruined my family. And I will personally hunt every single one of them down. I'm looking forward to flying to Australia to hunt down this...Gabriel Gray...the infamous serial killer...I think we'll become fast friends...and he'll help me succeed in my mission.

Joanne looks over to see a different red headed woman waving over to her. Joanne hops up and walks around to the woman she was sitting behind.

Joanne: Oh!...I see you are NOT the woman I was meeting here. It appears I relayed to you some sensitive information. For that you must DIE!...But I don't have time to kill you, so I'm going to have to politely ask you to step in front of a bus. Please do this at your earliest convenience...goodbye.

Red Headed Woman: …...

Joanne (in the distance): Don't think I won't call the bus company to confirm if they ran over anyone today!

Red Headed Woman: …..!

Joanne makes her way over to a different Red Headed woman.

Joanne: Hello...Molly Walker.

A woman named Molly Walker who doesn't really look like Molly Walker looks up at her.

Molly: Hello...Joanne Collins...

Joanne: Thank you for your assistance in helping me track down Gabriel Gray. Here is your payment.

She hands her an envelope.

Joanne: And thank you for getting my attention, I almost handed a complete stranger money. I can't tell you how many times I've done that today...it's very annoying.

Molly: Here is the rest of the information on Gabriel Gray...AKA Sylar.

Joanne: Excellent.

Molly: Do you really think a guy with abilities is going to help you hunt down people with abilities?

Joanne: That's the beauty of Mister Gabriel Gray...he doesn't HAVE any abilities. He keeps losing them...which makes him the perfect candidate to being my partner.

Molly: What are you going to do if he refuses?

Joanne: I'll kill him, duh...

Molly: What is he going to get out of this?

Joanne: I'll play it by ear...hopefully we won't get to that point since I'll probably kill him anyway. Hahahahaha...

She walks off and into a boarding hallway.

Clerk: Um...maam! You can't go in there yet! The plane hasn't unboarded yet.

Joanne: I just made a dramatic exit. You honestly don't expect me to go back out there!

Clerk: Maam! You cannot go in there yet! You'll have to wait in the lobby.

Joanne: Oh, all right...rules are rules.

Joanne starts to follow the clerk, she reaches over and grabs a handful of fliers and flings them in the Clerk's face, then takes off running down the boarding hallway.

Clerk: ACK! MAAM! GET BACK HERE!

Back at The Bennet's Noah is stewing in the living room. Sandra brings him something to drink.

Sandra: Oh, Noah. You're so stressed...here, have a cup of Reverse Hot Chocolate.

Noah: Dammit, Sandra! That is not a thing! -sigh-...I don't know...I think I made a mistake even mentioning the twins to Claire...I think she's going to try to find a way to bring them back.

Sandra: We have a lot of people on our side, Noah. You can bring them back here and we'll find a way to protect them. She deserves to meet her kids.

Noah: I suppose...maybe I was too overprotective...okay...we'll try...

Noah gives Claire a call on her cell phone.

Operator: The number you have reached is no longer in service...well...it is in service...just not in the area...or anywhere near a cell tower...she must be really, really, really, really, really...

Noah: AHHHH! SHE'S ALREADY IN THE FUTURE! I have to stop her!

Sandra hands him a bag.

Sandra: Bring them back home, Noah...keep them safe. I've packed you thirty mugs filled with Reverse Hot Chocolate.

Noah: …..WHY!?

Sandra: I spent $700 dollars on marshmallows...I just went nuts at The Marshmallow Outlet...

Noah: I...what...I can't even...I have to get out of here...

Noah runs out the door. He runs back in.

Noah: What the HELL is a Marshmallow Outlet?!

Sandra: They sell Refurbished Marshmallows at discount prices.

Noah: What is a...no! Forget it! Leaving!

Noah slams the door.

Sandra pops a Marshmallow in her mouth. She immediately spits it out.

Sandra: Oh my, that tastes terrible.

Noah hops in his car, the Haitian is in the passenger seat.

Noah: Why are you in my car?

Haitian: I thought we were going somewhere 2 hours ago.

Noah: Oh...well...now we are! Buckle up!

Two random stage crew members, sitting in the back seat, lean forward and wrap their arms around The Haitian and Noah.

Noah: This...car doesn't have...non human seat belts...?

The Haitian: It is my understanding the show doesn't have any money.

Noah: I told them filming that ridiculous Chess Show in Ireland would bankrupt us!

Later, on the road.

Haitian: So...where are we headed?

Noah: I have to find Hiro Nakamura to take us into the future so I can stop Claire and Peter from doing anything rash. I would like to bring the twins back to the present time but I need to make sure we handle this carefully so Erica Kravid doesn't get her hands on them. But before we do that...I need to speak to someone.

Noah and The Haitian arrive at Mayor Angela Petrelli's office. Outside her door they see Matt Parkman manning the secretary desk.

Noah: Matt?

Matt: Hey, Noah!

Noah: Weren't you in prison?

Matt: Yup! They sprung me out. Now I'm back to work...Tracy is letting me be Angela's secretary. So you can go ahead and go right in.

Noah: Uh...thanks.

Noah and The Haitian walk in. The phone rings.

Matt: OOH! Phone! I've been practicing for this.

Matt puts on a wig and giant glasses.

Matt (with a nasally voice): Ghostbusters! What do ya want?

Niki (at home on the couch, on the line): What do YOU want? You've left me a thousand voice mails!

Matt: Oh, hey! It's you, I've been wanting you to call me back.

Niki: Uh...yeah, I figured that's what the voice mails were for. Besides...I'm Niki now...Tracy is back in the mirror so you're going to have to call some other time.

Matt: Oh, come on. I'm sure you know something about secretary-ing. I really want this to work.

Niki: Well, make is snappy, will ya? I'm trying to watch 'Scream Queens'!

Matt: Okay okay...I need to leave me a note...there are these things that you can like...stick the note...it sticks to the surface.

Niki: ….Post-It Notes?

Matt: YES! Those...where can I find those...?

Niki hears a knocking sound, she has a handheld mirror nearby. She lifts it up to see the reflection of Tracy.

Tracy (to Niki): Tell him the supplies are in the bottom right drawer.

Niki (to Matt): Bottom Right Drawer, Dumb Dumb.

Matt (on phone): It's locked.

Tracy (reflection): Oh, crap...I have the key...

Niki (to Matt): She has the key, Dumb Dumb.

Matt: AH...yeah...yup...

Tracy: Let me swing by and bring it to you.

Matt: Sweet.

Niki: Seriously?! I'm trying to watch my show...forget it, I already missed the first season and half of the second season, I don't even know who these characters are. I'll just watch...(flips through DVR)..."Pitch"! That looks interesting. Okay, you two go away now.

Tracy: Let's flip back and I'll set you up.

Niki: I guess.

Niki and Tracy switch body and reflection. Now in the house, Tracy props up the mirror facing the tv.

Tracy: There! Okay, I'll be right there.

Tracy leaves. The reflection of Niki is still watching the T.V.

Niki: Ah hell...I don't have a remote. Now I have to watch commercials. Puke.

Back at the Office.

Angela: THEY WHAT?!

Noah: They're in the future now, most likely with Malina and Tommy and Old You.

Angela: You don't have to classify me as "Old Me".

Noah: Well, it IS 20 years in the future. Technically we're all older.

Angela: Whatever. They can NOT bring those twins back here. It'll be utter chaos. Kravid has to be taken down before that can even remotely be a possibility. For their sake...and the world's.

Noah: You're right. So...where can I find them? Hiro Nakamura took them into the future, but I have no idea where he is.

Angela: We don't need him. Follow me. The Haitian must stay here to make sure nothing goes wrong.

Noah looks at The Haitian, who nods. He gets up and follow The Haitian.

Angela walks out.

Angela: Matt Parkman!? What are you doing here? I thought you were in Prison?

Matt: You sprung me out and now I work here.

Angela: That sounds like a very stupid thing I would do...but I don't have time to worry about it now. This way, Noah.

Angela and Noah take the elevator down.

Noah: So...are we planning on going into the future without a time traveler? Do you have a time machine or something?

The elevator doors open to reveal...A Time Machine.

Noah: Oh, I guess you do have a time machine...how?

Angela: I had it restored after Bob Bishop and I blew it up when we went on our road trip to my secret lake house in order to go into the future to stop Daniel Linderman's Ancestor.

Noah: Uh huh...

Angela: Here's the plan. We go into the Future...Chloroform our children and bring them back home so they'll stop putting the future of the human race in peril.

Noah: Chloroform is a little much, don't you think?

Angela: Ha...uh...no. The whining, the screaming, the hair pulling, the crying, the late night video blogging that would impact the following day's Cheerleader Tryouts...I don't want to deal with it.

Noah: Claire isn't THAT bad.

Angela: I was talking about Peter...let's roll.

Elle, Mohinder, and Hiro walk back into The Ice Cream Shoope.

Elle: Hey, Emily. Great first day...you're gonna do great here, kid.

Emily: Thanks, Elle!

Elle: Did I have any calls?

Emily: I have a Quentin Frady waiting in your office.

Elle: Ah, my Four O'clock. Great, hold my calls.

Emily looks around and doesn't see a phone.

Elle walks into her office followed by Hiro and Mohinder (who shuts the door).

Hiro: Uh...what happened to your gang? They were all over the place. Wasn't there someone named Barb? What happened to Barb!?

Elle: Oh, they cleared out and I converted the Ice Cream shop back into my Detective Agency.

Hiro: When did you do that?! We've been at the Hotel all day!

Hiro turns to Mohinder.

Hiro: Am I time traveling and not realizing it? Or am I going nuts?

Hiro looks over to see Mohinder eating Ice Cream.

Mohinder: I don't know what a "Shoope" is...but this Ice Cream is extraordinary.

Emily walks in.

Emily: Hey, Elle. Your Six O'clock had to postpone until next week.

Elle: Great, thanks Emily.

Emily looks at Mohinder.

Emily: Hey, where did you get that Ice Cream?

Mohinder: I...it didn't...come from here?...

Hiro: …...

Mohinder continues eating the Ice Cream.

Elle turns her attention back on...

Elle: Quentin, is it?

Quentin: Yes. How are you, Miss Bishop?

Elle laughs.

Elle: Oh, Quentin, my friend...no need to be so formal...you may address me as THE QUEEN.

Quentin: Oh okay...I'm much less nervous now.

Hiro gives Elle an awkward look.

Elle: I don't care if the skit is over, I'm running with it.

Hiro: Okay...

Hiro looks over at Mohinder.

Hiro: How and where did you get more Ice Cream...?

Elle: What can I help you with, Quentin? Oh, first, meet my associates, Hiro Nakamura and Dr. Professor Mohinder Suresh.

Mohinder: Not a lot of people say the full title, I respect her for remembering.

Hiro: We're not your associates, by the way!

Quentin: My sister is missing...and I have an idea who might have her.

Elle: A job well done...that'll be $7000 dollars.

Quentin: Wait! It's not that I need to locate her...I know where she is...I just need to get her back...I'm worried the person keeping her locked up might be using her.

Elle: And you want us to...

Quentin: Rescue...her?

Elle: Let me talk about it with my staff. She waves over Hiro and Mohinder to her.

Elle: What do you think, you guys? This may be our most dangerous mission yet.

Hiro: This is our first mission. And we don't work for you! You're fine and Bob is dead so I guess we can go home now!

Mohinder: I would love to research what this Ice Cream is made out of...it is fantastic.

Elle: Research all you want.

Mohinder: Then I'm on board.

Elle: Excellent!

She turns back to Quentin.

Elle (to Quentin): We'll take your case! Meet up with us tomorrow morning and we'll go over more details.

Quentin: Great! Thank you, Elle!

Quentin gets up and leaves.

Elle: One case at a time, boys. We'll make this world good again.

Hiro: Fine...but no more surprise job changes.

Emily walks back in.

Emily: Elle...your 5:30 is ready.

Elle: Great!

Elle hands Hiro and Mohinder two giant red noses and some rainbow wigs.

Elle: Now let's get out there and make this the best Children's Birthday Party ever!

Hiro: OH COME ON!...Maan...I don't like Clowns!

Hiro looks at Mohinder.

Hiro: Stop eating Ice Cream! You don't know where that came from!

Mohinder: Can't...too good...

Back at The Golden Hotel, the elevator doors open. Nathan walks out and over to the body of The Shape shifter.

Nathan: Interesting...another shape shifter.

He sees the 'Bob Bishop' name plate on the desk.

Nathan: Both pretending to be Bob Bishop...hmm...

Flashback to a group of police are investigating a murder. Nathan, dressed in a black overcoat, slyly makes his way over to the body. He walks along beside it, one hand out over the body. A faint glow leaves it as Nathan continues walking on, disappearing into the shadows.

He reaps the shape shifter's soul and leaves the room.

Meanwhile, At The Kompany.

Harris-Prime, Erica Kravid's bodyguard, makes his way down the hallway to her office. Harris-342 and Harris-23, his clones, are guarding the door, they let him in. Erica, sitting at her desk, slowly spins around.

Erica: What is it?

Harris-Prime: Petrelli and Bennet are off the grid...we believe they went into the future to obtain the children.

Erica: Do we have a year?

Harris-Prime: 2037.

Erica: I see. Is Molly Walker finished getting Joanne Collins on her flight?

Harris-Prime: Yes.

Erica: Then have her report back here. We have work to do.

Harris-Prime: Understood.

Harris-Prime leaves the office. Erica turns back around in her seat. She starts to lower to the ground.

Erica: A billion dollar company and I can't get a chair that works...typical.

 **To Be Continued**


	2. Powers Anonymous

**The Heroes Parody Project  
Season 6  
Chapter 2**

 **Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.**

 **Tonight...on Elle's Kitchen.**

Two teams, one Red and one Blue. They will face off and try not to kill anybody in the restaurant. World Renowned Chef Eleanor Bullwinkle Bishop will boss them around. She's beautiful. She's brutal...and most importantly...she's British.

Claire: No she's not!

Elle: I have an air tight Wikipedia page that states otherwise.

Claire: You're going to make me pull out my phone, use my previous data to look up your lies and...hmm...damn, it's on there alright...(continues reading)..."created the British Language"?...That doesn't sound right...WHAT?! How the hell are you a series regular on NCIS!? This whole page is crap!

Elle: World's Greatest Actress. MOVING ON! On the Red Team we have...

Peter Petrelli (Age 39) Professional Photographer.

Claire Bennet (Age 27) Professional Toe Model.

Claire: Really?

Hiro Nakamura (Age 42) Rodeo Circus Clown.

Hiro: I don't like Clowns! I remember specifically saying that in the last episode!

Ando Masahashi (Age 41) Talent Scouting Agent.

Ando: Is it ironic if I'm bad at that?

Doctor Professor Mohinder Suresh (Age 42) Pro Golfer.

Mohinder: That's it?!...I have DOCTOR AND PROFESSOR in my legal first name. Here, check my birth certificate. I always have it on me.

Elle: And on the Blue Team...

Nathan Petrelli (Age 51) Professional Toe Model.

Nathan: Okay, I'm starting to get the feeling these are fake.

Niki Sanders (Age 40) Professional Breather.

Niki: How is "breathing" a profession?!...And you know it's not polite to reveal women's ages on syndicated reality cooking shows...just sayin...I personally don't care because I look amazing...

Matthew Parkman (Age 25) Rock Star.

Niki: 25!? What the crap! He's 50! (To Matt) Who did you pay to lie about your age?!

Matt: The age is correct, I'm just mad that they forgot that I'm a Professional Toe Model! Those clumsy writers botched my bio!

Niki: I'm going to botch your face.

Dr. Gabriel Sylar Gray (Age 39) Professional Face Botcher.

Everyone looks at Sylar.

Sylar: I'm a terrible Plastic Surgeon...on purpose of course.

Niki: Not gonna ask.

Sylar: It's for people who are too beautiful who want to be taken down a couple of notches.

Matt (to Sylar): Is my Saturday appointment still on?

Sylar: Sure is. We'll see you at 3:00.

Matt: Great!

Niki: Flames...flames on the side of my face...

And Angela Petrelli (Age 25) Professional Free Spirit

Niki: Oh good grief, is everybody lying about their age now?!

Matt: I wish I was a free spirit...totally throwing my life away being a 25 Year old Hot Rock Star...

Niki: Someone start the show or everyone dies...

Elle: Okay people...MOVE! We have hungry people out there, let's not give them food poisoning. GO! GO! GO!

Claire opens a package of raw hamburger meat.

Elle: What the bloody hell is this!?

Claire: It's...hamburger meat...

Elle: And what color is it?

Claire: …..Red...ish?

Elle: And you expect people to eat that?!

Claire: After I cook it...

Elle: Not good enough! GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN! And take your "still moo-ing" slab of beef with ya! ALL OF YOU! GET IN LINE!

(In The Confessional)

Claire: I...really thought I was gonna make it...I thought I was going to make my dream come true...sniff...sniff...hmm. Sorry, I'm terrible at crying on command. Can I get a little help?

A crew member throws a bucket of water in Claire's face.

Claire: AHHHH! COLD!

Elle: Now that Claire's dead and nobody in the restaurant got any food, I want you all to get some sleep. Tomorrow...we open up and do it again.

The Next Morning.

Peter wakes up...he's in a tent.

Peter: Ehhhhh...

Peter walks out to join everyone on The Island.

Niki: What the hell happened to The Kitchen?!

Elle: THIS...is Elle-vivor Island.

Niki: You know if you plan on hopping around reality shows, you could do some more of the recent ones...

Elle: You're right. That's why I've been catching up on 'Naked And Afraid'.

Niki looks down and notices she's totally naked...along with everyone else.

Niki: AHHHHHH!

Everyone: AHHHHHHHH!

Elle: Now that we have leaves on and everybody just witnessed each other in the nude.

Matt: YOU'RE WELCOME!

Elle: Let's get started on some Surviving. Yes, Mohinder? You have a question.

Mohinder (all puffed up): Err therrrnk er jerst gert bertern beh er snerk...

Elle: Well THAT'S not good.

Mohinder falls to the ground as Oompa Loompa's roll him away.

Oompa Loompas: Oompa Loompa Doo-Ba-Dee Doo!

Everyone looks at Elle.

Elle: I have no idea where those guys came from. Seriously...I'm freaking out.

Everyone: ….

Elle: ….AND STAY OUT OF MY KITCHEN!

The Next Day.

Elle: THIS...IS...Elle-Merican Idol.

Niki: That show's not even on anymore!

Matt grabs a microphone.

Matt: Prepare to be blown away...I'm a Rock Star after all.

Matt (singing): LAAA!

A snake comes flying out of nowhere and bites Matt's in the neck.

Matt: URK!

He puffs up and falls to the ground. Oompa Loompa's roll him away.

Elle: This competition is getting fierce. Speaking of fierce...

NEXT TIME...on Elle-Merica's Next Top Model.

Niki: Still sticking to recent shows I see.

Elle: Sylar! Go! Work it, girl!

Sylar takes two steps on the catwalk and loses his balance. He falls into the audience.

Man: Oh my god! That Top Model just fell on my pet snake, Slithers! Oh, why did I choose tonight to take him to a fashion show...oh...nevermind...he's okay. Your model's dead though.

Sylar: ….blerrrk.

A bunch of Oompa Loompa Top Models run out and roll Sylar away.

Elle: Where are all these Oompa Loompas coming from!?

Niki (to Elle): Are we done?

Elle: One more.

Niki: UGH!

NEXT...on BIG...ELLE...BROTHER...

Niki gives Elle a stern look.

Elle: Yeah, we couldn't spin a good pun out of that one. We tried adding 'Elle' to the end of "Brother" and it came off sounding like "Big Brothel" and the network suits shut that down REAL quick.

Niki: Uh huh...

Elle: Now shut up and get in that house!

Elle shoves Niki inside the Big Elle Brother Household.

Niki: AHHH!

Elle: Housemates...now we decide who will be kicked out of the house. We tally your votes.

Peter: Did we vote on something?

Elle: And it looks like...Nathan...you are the next to be evicted from The Big Elle Brother House...pack up your crap and get out.

Nathan: I...don't have anything.

Elle: You can find your belongings in the bedroom.

Nathan gets up and walks into the bedroom...which is a giant pit of snakes.

Elle looks around.

Elle: No Oompa Loompa's this time...allrighty then.

Niki: What is with the damn snakes...and Claire was the first one off the show. Why didn't she get the Snake/Oompa Loompa Treatment.

Claire (popping up): Oh, easy explanation. I got The Oompa Loompa treatment in the 'Fifty Shades Of Gray" sketch me and Sylar did a while back...it was awful and I threatened the writers if they did it again I'd burn down all their homes. It's now in my contract...in blood.

Niki: Okie dokie then.

The backdrop of the house reveals that they are back in The Kitchen.

Niki: HUH!?

Elle: That's right! Red Team! You are in The Finals! I knew you could do it! Your last challenge. Try not to kill everybody in the restaurant. They really want their food.

Patron: We've been here for 5 days! We're starving!

Peter, Hiro, Ando, Niki and Angela look at each other.

Elle: What's wrong? You're so close to winning, Red Team!

Niki: Um...we're the Blue Team.

Elle: You are...? I thought everybody on the Blue Team got eliminated.

Niki: Nope...Claire, Mohinder, Matt, Sylar and Nathan. 2 Reds, 3 Blues...

Elle: I see...then you're all The Red Team! Now get cookin'!

Angela: But we're the Blue Team! We don't want to be the Red Team.

Niki: Yeah!

Elle: Then you're all The Blue Team!

Hiro: Wait a minute!

Elle: Oh good grief...which team has more members left.

Peter: Red Team?

Elle: Great! They win! Good night! I'm going home! And make sure these people eat something, they're pretty hungry.

Niki: I don't even like cooking! Why did I even come on this stupid show!?

The patrons get angry and raid the kitchen. Everyone starts screaming.

 **Claire: Previously on Heroes...**

Claire finishes watching TV.

Claire: Well, glad I made it out of there when I did.

A snake flies up and bites her in the neck. She starts puffing up.

Claire: You...bastards...urk...

Hiro and Mohinder at Bob Bishop's Golden Hotel.

Hiro: So, I suppose we've been sucked into your biker gang and now we're going to...

Elle: Help my father see the error of his ways.

Hiro: Got it.

Elle shoots Bob.

Hiro: AHHHH!

Elle: This man is a shape shifter. My father was killed and now I must avenge his death. Good thing I'm a Private Investigator.

Hiro: I thought we were Biker Thugs! I'm so confused.

Nathan, now the Grim Reaper, stops by to reap the Shape Shifter's soul.

Nathan: A second shape shifter...both pretending to be Bob Bishop...interesting.

Noah: Claire, you have kids.

Claire: I want to see them.

Noah: NOPE!

Claire and Peter go into the future.

Angela (to Noah): THEY WHAT?!

Noah: They went to meet the twins.

Angela: We HAVE to stop them, now! Quick, to my TIME MACHINE!

Noah: Sounds safe.

Joanne Collins, the mysterious assassin, meets a woman named Molly Walker who looks NOTHING like Molly Walker at the airport.

Joanne: With Gabriel Gray's help...I will kill these people with abilities...then I'll kill him. VILLAINOUS LAUGH!

Director: Cut! Forget it...I can't get it through her head to do the stupid laugh. Just make the editors put in a laugh in post.

Joanne: With Gabriel Gray's help...I will kill these people with abilities...then I'll kill him. (cut to the voice of Ralphie from A Christmas Story) "I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine Action Two Hundred Shot Range Model Air Rifle. (Santa Clause) You'll shoot your eye out, kid. Merry Christmas. HO!...HO!...HO! (Ralphie): NOOOOOO!

Director: …...Close enough.

Erica David: Is Molly Walker finished with Joanne?

Harris-Prime: Yes.

Erica: Get her back here. We have work to do.

 **Joanne Collins  
New York International Airport, Flight 2232**

 **I have to put my peanuts in "Airplane" mode?! How expensive are these things?!**

Joanne is sitting on a plane. It is still on the tarmac waiting to depart. She whips out her phone and dials a number. A passenger glares at her.

Joanne: RELAX, we're not in the air yet. (on the phone) Yes...hello? Am I speaking with "Speedytown Bus Lines"? Yes, I was calling to check in to see if one of your drivers ran over anyone today.

Clerk: I'm...gonna go.

The Clerk hangs up. Joanne calls the number back.

Clerk: Speedytown Bus Lines?

Joanne: This isn't a good time! You're going to have to call me back.

Clerk: You called me.

Joanne: Not now, Becky!

Clerk: Who's Becky!?

Joanne: CLICK!

Joanne switches to the other line.

Joanne: HUSBAND!

Luke Collins, Joanne's...well, Husband, is on the other line.

Luke: Hey honey, I was calling to make sure you made it to the airport okay.

Joanne: Of course I did! And my mission to exterminate those with special abilities?...Even better. Don't worry...I'll hunt and kill them all...

Luke: Yoooou know our son is one of those...

Joanne: I know that! Sheesh!...Those people are the reason he IS one of them...and I will exact my revenge. They'll all be dead and he'll be the only one with powers...I can live with that.

A stewardess walks up.

Stewardess: Maam, you have been warned multiple times. Stop making verbal threats on the plane or you will be forced to leave.

Joanne: Ugh...Luke, I have to go. I have to arrange another "Bus Accident". WINK! WINK!

She tries winking at The Stewardess.

POP!

Joanne: AHH! My contact popped out!

Luke hangs up the phone and turns back to the meeting he is in. He sits down with a circle of people.

Luke: Okay, it's my turn...Hi, I'm Luke.

Group: HI LUKE!

Luke: Okay, that sounded like way more than the five people who are here...anyway...I have an ability...and I'm hiding it from my family.

Down the hallway, Nathan turns and heads into the meeting room, passing the chalkboard that reads:

 **Chapter Two "Powers Anonymous"**

Nathan takes a seat across from Luke.

 **Peter and Claire  
Old Angela's Estate – Year 2037  
When in the world is Claire-men Sandiego?**

Claire: I...can't even with that.

Peter: It's okay, Claire.

Claire: No, Peter! It doesn't even make any sense...though I'm not going to lie, it's kinda growing on me. Maybe I'll turn it into a movie in case the next "Claire Voyance" movie flops. Which it obviously won't.

Peter: ….

Claire: What?

Peter: It did get a "5" on "Rotten Tomatoes".

Claire: What's that?

Peter: You don't know what "Rotten Tomatoes" is? It's a movie review website...the critics on there reviewed your movie and gave it a 5.

Claire: WOW! 5 out of 5!

Peter: 5 out of 100...

Claire: Oh...OH!...I get it...only 5 tomatoes...that's good.

Peter: What?...No, it's 5%...out of 100.

Claire: Are you sure? You see...tomatoes are gross...so having only 5 of them is way better than having 100.

Peter: It...doesn't work like that. They're...rotten tomatoes.

Claire: Oh...then you do want less.

Peter: No...anything below a 60 is rotten. If you have over 60 they become FRESH tomatoes.

Claire: How does having more than 60 tomatoes automatically make them fresh?

Peter: Why do you keep putting quantity in this...it's a rating scale...1 to 100. If the movie gets LESS than 60...it's a rotten tomato.

Claire: Less than 60 tomatoes...

Peter: There is no amount of tomatoes! It's a percentage of critics who liked the movie. That percentage decides if the movie is a rotten tomato or not.

Claire: Aaand...what's the tomato connection? Who cares about tomatoes...they're gross.

Peter: I don't know...in olden times people used to throw tomatoes when they didn't like what they saw. Maybe that's what it means.

Claire: Rotten tomatoes.

Peter: No, I'd imagine they were fresh.

Claire: WHAT?!

Old Angela: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU TWO DONE!?

Peter: Oh, sorry ma.

Old Angela: Peter! What in the world are you two doing here?!

Claire: My dad told me about my children...and I'm taking them back to the present with me.

Old Angela: Are you nuts!? You'll be completely vulnerable to Erica Kravid's evil plans.

Claire: Yeah, yeah, we've heard about her already. What are her evil plans?

Old Angela: I...don't know...Noah had The Haitian wipe all our memories for our protection.

Claire: So...you know who Erica Kravid is...but you don't know what she is planning to do because of Haitian Mind Wipe...that's...very inconvenient to us.

 **Matt and Tracy  
Mayor Angela Petrelli's Office Of Mayorcraft And Wizardry  
No, she did not pick the name. And yes, she hates it.**

Tracy (at Matt's desk): UGH! This drawer is being a pain...I can't get it open with the key.

Matt: So...I'm still kinda lost on how you and Niki are the same person again?

Tracy: Beats me. We think it's some weird glitchy loophole. From what I understand, Niki apparently died in some sort of canonical universe that was different from ours. When our universe ended, everyone that was dead in that universe was reset to being dead. Niki and Bob Bishop avoided this reset because they were in the future at the time. This sent them to the afterlife and now they managed to escape that and are back here...but how we're not separated...no idea.

Matt: I see...it's all good either way. I think I like you more anyway...you're WAY nicer than Niki.

Tracy shoots Matt a glare.

Matt: Oh...sorry...

Matt notices the vanity mirror on his desk, realizing that Tracy has turned into Niki.

Niki: Oh...you will be.

Matt: -sigh-...(puts away the mirror) damn my good looks. Always getting me in trouble.

Niki: Why are we here again?

Matt: Need supplies from that drawer.

Niki uses her strength to rip open the drawer. She grabs a package of post it notes and flings it on his desk.

Niki: There you go. I'm going home now before I turn you into mittens.

The Haitian comes out of the office.

Niki: René? What are you doing here?

Matt: Who?

Niki: Uh... René?

Matt: You mean The Haitian?

Niki: We've been over this...the guy has a name. We need to start using it.

Matt: You can't just declare we change everybody's names! What, are we going to start calling "HRG", "Flying Man", and "Save The Cheerleader, Save The World" by their real names!?

Niki: YES!

Matt: Blasphemy!

Niki: And I"m going to do so with this. (she pulls out a card) It's a free "Change something major on the show" card I won at the Christmas Party.

Matt: I thought I just made those up.

Niki: Nope and I'm cashing it in. You... René, will officially now be called by your real name.

René: That's a nice gesture, Niki, but I think there are bigger problems we need to deal with.

Niki walks over to René. Out the window they see a van pull up. Harris-1022 gets out, followed by many other Harrises.

René: Here come the clones...

Niki: I got this...

Niki looks at her card.

Niki: Hmm...it was only good for one use...probably shouldn't have wasted it on renaming you.

Niki rips up the card.

 **= = = = = = = = = =  
(HEROES)  
= = = = = = = = = = **

In the future, Tommy and Malina are sitting in the living room.

Malina: So...what was your first impression of "mom"?

Tommy: It feels a little strange that she's the exact same age as us...at least that's what she told me.

Malina: All this time we thought she was dead...I wonder why she showed up now...

Claire (walking around the couch): I'll tell you why...children...wow...sounds so weird.

Claire makes Tommy scoot over.

Claire: Your grand Uncle Peter and I...we and our friends have been on countless adventures...and we've saved the world many, many times.

Peter gives Claire a confused look, mouthing "We did"?

Claire: SHH!

She turns back.

Claire: Now that I've been given this opportunity to settle down with the family I've always wanted...

Peter: You've never mentioned anything about having a family. You just wanted to become "President Of Cheerleading" and make those awful "Claire-Voyance" films.

Claire: SHHH! For the record, those movies aren't awful. Just look at all the tomatoes they have!

Peter: I refuse to have this argument with you again.

Claire: Besides, there is no reason to keep you kids away from your family. So that is why I have returned to bring you back to the present.

Malina: Back to the what?!

Claire: Oh...you both come from an earlier time. You were brought here...without my knowledge...to grow up and live your lives to escape an evil that's lurking.

Tommy: Angela, you lied to us!?

Old Angela: No...no, not at all. All of our minds were wiped by The Haitian...I mean "René". Are we calling him that now?

Malina: So you didn't know that we were from the past?

Old Angela: Oh, well I did know that. I had to so I didn't wake up and panic about "whose babies are these?!"

Tommy: But...you just acted like you didn't know we came from the past.

Old Angela: Oh, that I was lying about. I've only been "mind wiped" about the evil lurking...only for your protection.

Malina: Well...I think we're old enough to take care of ourselves.

Tommy: Yeah.

Malina: Old Angela...

Old Angela: I'm pretty sure I didn't give you clearance to call me that.

Malina: ….Thank you for everything you've done and raising us...with a television that only had the PBS channel.

Old Angela: Don't forget to thank The Children's Television Workshop.

Peter: And "Viewers Like You".

Malina: But...I think we should return with our mother...and if evil arises...we'll fight it together.

Claire: Look at her...such a brave speech...just like her mother. I've taught her so much...

Peter: You know we've only been here for twenty minutes, right?

Claire: SHHHH!

There's a knock on the door. Noah and Present Day Angela are outside.

Back at Angela's Office.

Niki: This is bad.

She turns to René.

Niki: Who are these people?

René: They work for Erica Kravid...head of The Kompany. Well...he works for her. He can clone himself. There are hundreds...possibly thousands of him roaming the Earth.

Niki: Creepy.

René: She knows they're after the twins. You two should get out of here.

Niki: What about you?

René: He won't kill me.

Niki: Oh...that's nice.

Bullets riddle through the door to the lobby. Matt, Niki and René hit the floor.

Niki: ACK!

Matt (outside Angela's office): Guys? Someone just shot my computer and I didn't get to save my work! Angela's going to kill me!

Niki makes her way over to the opening of the office, not too far from Matt's desk.

Niki: More important things to worry about Matt.

Matt: Who is trying to kill us?

René makes his way to the door.

René: Kompany Goons. You two think of a way to escape...

A Harris clone walks in, Matt lobs a package of Post It-Notes at him. He shoots it out of the sky.

Matt: That was my last pack...probably shouldn't have done that.

Niki jumps up in front of the Harris Clone, going for a punch...she stops in her tracks.

Matt: Uh...Niki?

Niki...now Tracy...grabs the clone's throat and turns him into solid ice. He falls to the floor and shatters.

Tracy: ….That's not murder...right? He was a clone.

Matt and René look at each other.

Matt: I think it was...just pin it on Niki. She'll be fine with it.

Niki scowls at Matt.

Matt: Oh, come on! You're Niki again!? You need to start...wearing a bell or something...stop flip flopping!

Niki: I don't understand...I used to control it before...

René: You'll have to talk about it later...you need to go...the clones will keep coming.

Niki peers out the hallway as many Harry clones make their way down.

Niki: Okay...turn back into Tracy...I'll flood them out...and woosh...aaaand...nope, I'm stuck.

René makes his way to the door.

Niki: What are you going to do? Can you stop him?

René: No. My power won't work on the copies. I'll hold him off the best I can.

Niki runs over and grabs Matt's shirt, running into the office. She looks out the window.

Niki: Dammit! That fall would kill us.

Matt: Float down and form into a safety net for me to jump.

Niki slowly looks at Matt.

Niki: What possible scenario have you and I been in, in the entire time we've known each other, would have EVER led you to believe I could do that!?

Matt: Aren't you stretchy...or something. Like Elastigirl from The Incredibles?

Niki: No Matt...I'm not...OH! I GOT IT! Do you know who is? I can't believe I didn't think of it...she'll save us. Let me call her. We're really good friends.

Matt: Who is it?

Niki: ELASTIGIRL FROM THE INCREDIBLES! UGH! What is wrong with you? Seriously?!

Matt: …...were you ever planning to introduce me to her?

Niki: …...I'm throwing you out the window.

Matt: AHHH! NOOO! DON'T!

At The Powers Anonymous Meeting...

Luke: It didn't happen until recently, that I discovered my ability...to radiate heat using the power of the Sun.

Man in group: Like Birdman.

Luke: Birdman?

Other man in group: The old cartoon, Birdman. He would get his power from the Sun and blast rays of light.

Man in group: He had a pet falcon.

Other man in group: Avenger!

Man in group: That's it!

Luke: Um...it's not like...Birdman...

Man in Group: Hey, remember Space Ghost?

Other man in Group: I. Loved. Space Ghost.

Luke: Uh...hello!? This isn't Hanna-Barbera Memory Hour...we're talking about our problems here.

Man in Group: HEY! Don't talk bad about Space Ghost.

Luke: Big deal...he hosted that talk show. Who cares?

Man in Group: ….

Other man in Group: …..

Man in Group: …..I think we should go.

Other man in Group: Yeah...let's get out of here. I'm not gonna let this creep ruin our good time looking back on good cartoons of yore!

Luke: YORE!? Who says that?! Hey!

The two men leave...all that remains in the group is Luke, Nathan and a mysterious woman.

Luke: Well...so much for that.

He turns to Nathan.

Luke: Would you like to share your story?

Nathan: I died in an alternate Universe then was resurrected in a new Universe. Then my daughter destroyed that universe and sent me into the afterlife where I bargained with the Grim Reaper to take over his job in exchange to send me and my friends back to the land of the living in a newly reborn universe. Long story short, I'm Death.

Luke: …...

Luke turns to the Mysterious Woman.

Luke: Would you like to say anything about yourself?

Nathan: The Barista at Starbucks thought my story was interesting.

The mysterious woman stands up in the group, she has a sword with her.

Woman: My...my name...is Miko Otomo...I believe...I don't know if I have an ability...but was hoping I could get help.

Luke looks confused.

Luke: You don't know if you have an ability?

Nathan watches intently.

Miko: Yes...you see...I'm a Video Game Character.

Luke: …...

Nathan arches an eyebrow.

Miko: I was expelled from my video game "Evernow"...in stores now, check your local retailer...and now I am here...in this world. People look at me like I'm strange. This world is not meant for me...I need to see if someone can put my back in my world and was hoping someone with "abilities" could help.

Luke: That's...interesting.

He turns back to Nathan.

Luke: So...you can walk through walls or something?

Nathan: Not even close. Did you even LISTEN to my story?!

Back at Old Angela's House in the Future.

Noah: Claire! I know you're in there!

Angela: Did it occur to you that you would be better off getting the jump on people you're in pursuit of if you didn't announce that you were here? Why don't you just send her a text message while you're at it.

Noah's eyes shift to the side.

Claire (from the inside): Hey! I got a text message from my dad! AHH! HE'S HERE!

Angela shakes her head.

Claire jumps out off the couch, knocking a tray of cookies to the floor.

Old Angela: I just vacuumed!

Claire: It's my dad!

Peter: I feel a disturbance...my mother is with them.

Claire: Angela from the present? What if she busts in and see's her (pointing to Old Angela).

Old Angela: The Universe will be shredded in twain.

Claire: Peter, do something! I can't do another Universe reset!

Peter: What in the world does "in twain" mean?

Old Angela: It's okay, I'll go in the kitchen and put a bag over my head.

Peter: Good, that buys us some time.

They see a foot come through the door.

Angela (to Noah): You ninny! We could have seen if the door was unlocked first.

Noah (struggling): I know! I can't help it...you'd think I'd learn by now to stop doing that.

Claire: That buys us some more time...Peter! Let's go...

Peter: We can't...

Claire: Uh...why?

Peter: Well...while you going on about the "joys of motherhood" and weeping over that picture in your hand of the family that came with the Wal-Mart picture frame...

Claire looks down.

Claire: I was wondering why I didn't recognize these people...(to Old Angela in the kitchen)...WHY HAVEN'T YOU CHANGED THIS OUT!?

Peter: ...I was having a chat with my new Grand Nephew and Niece...and I may have borrowed one of their powers.

-flashback to a few minutes earlier-

Peter (To Tommy and Malina): I'm excited to see what kind of powers you kids have got for yourselves. You have Heroic Blood in your veins. Use them for good. The powers...not the...blood...this speech sounded better in my head.

Tommy: My abilities haven't been mastered yet, but I can teleport objects far away.

Peter: Interesting...YOINK! (Peter copies the power)

Tommy: Did you just say "Yoink"?

Peter: No.

Malina: And I can control the elements.

Peter: …...

Malina: …...

Peter: …...

Malina: …...

Peter: …...YOINK!

Claire: YOU WHAT!?

Peter: We're family! We bond! We share powers...it's a thing.

Claire slaps Peter in the arm.

Claire: You can't copy my children's powers you doof!

Peter: AHHH! OW! Stop slapping me!

Malina: You can copy powers? You're a Mimic?

Peter: That's right, kids. Once Upon A Time I had the ability to copy and store powers, anything anybody had. I had access to many, many, abilities.

Tommy: That's amazing!

Peter: Yes...but the writers thought it was a little much. And a bonk on the head later I can still do the same thing, but can only keep one at a time.

Tommy: I believe the kids call it "being nerfed".

Peter: Exactly.

Claire rolls her eyes.

At the meeting, Luke talks to Nathan who is getting some snacks.

Luke: So..."Death", huh?

Nathan: Yup.

Luke: What's that like? Gotta be pretty heavy...

Nathan: I thought it would be...but then I try to think of it as "people who need to be escorted to the beyond". It's a job.

Luke: Ah...so...why are you here? Are you having trouble...dealing with the death stuff?

Nathan: Hmm? Oh, no...I'm here for her.

Nathan points to Miko.

Luke: ….the...Video Game Girl?

Nathan: Yeah...not sure what to make of that. The names of who's next...they just come to me...and then I do what is needed.

Luke: You're going to kill The Video Game Girl?

Nathan: I don't KILL people, I'm not a Hitman. They're just...meant to be killed then I "transfer their soul". Nothing major.

Luke: Ah...Okay.

The door to the meeting gets kicked in. A man with a long Samurai sword slowly walks in. Miko jumps out of her chair.

Miko: NO!...That's...not possible.

Luke: You know, I really didn't bring enough snacks for all these people. I was really only expecting like...three tops?

Miko makes her way over to Nathan and Luke.

Miko: That...that's a Ronin Warrior. From my Video Game!...

Luke and Nathan exchange looks.

Miko: How did he get out...?...Did others come from the video game as well?

Miko (to Nathan and Luke): RUN! HURRY! He'll kill you. I'll fend him off.

Nathan: Um...okay. Sure.

Luke: But we should help you if he's bad, right?

Miko: I'll take care of him, just...ERK!

A sword gets impaled through Miko's stomach.

Luke: AHHHH!

Nathan: Aw man, I dropped my snacks.

Miko: R...run...

Miko drops to the ground. Dead.

Nathan: Well, that's why I'm here.

Nathan leans down to reap Miko's soul...she transforms into a pixelated version of herself and start to deteriorate. The pixel blocks float into the air and disappear.

Nathan: UHHH...Okay, I wasn't expecting that.

The Ronin Warrior points his sword at Nathan and Luke.

Nathan: Oh, he wants all of us dead. Okay, that's cool.

Luke: Don't worry, I got this.

Luke takes off his right glove and blasts a heat ray at the warrior. An explosion sends Nathan and Luke flying backward.

Nathan: Uh...ow...

Luke: Yeah, I'm still trying to control it.

Nathan: I could have guessed.

Five more Ronin Warriors enter the room.

Luke: Yeah...I don't have enough power...I'll need sunlight to recharge.

Nathan: Well, it's nighttime so I can't really do that.

Everything goes black.

 **THE LEGEND OF MIKO**

 **(START GAME)  
(CONTINUE GAME) X  
(OPTIONS)**

 **PLEASE SELECT A GAME TO CONTINUE**

 **(Game 1: MIKO / Level: 27 / Playtime: 236,792 hours) X**

 **(Game 2: Blank)**

 **(Game 3: Blank)  
LOADING...  
LOADING...  
LOADING...  
**Nathan: What...the hell...was that?

Miko runs into the room and pulls out her sword. She lobs off the heads of one of the warriors and flings a Ninja Star at the other one, sticking him in the forehead.. A warrior brings his sword down on Miko who vanishes in a puff of pink smoke. The smoke makes way around the warrior and forms back into Miko, who impales the warrior in the back. Two warriors approach her from opposite sides. She pulls out a scroll, unrolls it, and lets it go as it burns in mid-air. After clutching her fists momentarily, she holds out her hands to shoot bolts of lightning at the two warriors, finishing them off.

Nathan: …...

Luke: …...

Miko: …...You made me had to reload my save because you wouldn't run...Rude! Both of you.

Nathan: …...

Luke: …...

Nathan: …..Well, I'm at a loss for words.

Luke (listening): Is that...sirens?

Nathan: Cops?

Luke: Someone probably called about the explosion I made...and probably wondering why video game characters are running amok in the city.

Nathan: We don't want to be here for questioning and cause further drama. We should bolt.

Luke: ….What about her?...

Nathan: I got the all clear...there was no soul to reap...why I was directed toward a video game character is beyond me.

Luke: Could have been a different Miko Otomo.

Nathan: Now what are the odds of that?!

Five blocks down, the body of someone who just happens to be named "Miko Otomo" is thrown to the side after being killed by a Ronin Warrior. The body lies in the street, a strange fire burns in their eyes.

René is fighting some of the Harris clones, he ducks behind a desk.

René (yelling): You two escape yet?!

Niki: NO! Matt tried to climb out the window and got stuck!

Niki runs back over to Matt, whose butt is hanging inside the office.

Niki: Matt, I can't believe you tried going out the window. Now we're all going to die!

Niki looks around.

Niki: I don't think I can get you out...but...at least I'll give you some dignity so Angela doesn't have to stare at your butt when she gets back.

Niki takes a sharpie marker and draws a smiley face on Matt's butt. She runs to a plant and gets some branches...she adheres them on the top, forming "antlers".

Niki: Okay, we're getting somewhere with this.

Niki returns with a picture frame, she places it over the butt and branches. She props up a shelf and puts an assortment of things on it.

Niki: Well, Matt, we had a good run. If I had to be honest, I'm totally not surprised that this was the way you were going to go out.

Matt walks up.

Matt: Oh bother.

Niki: AHHHHH!

Matt: Wow, Niki! What did you do with the window here? This setup looks so lifelike. I like whatever animal you have going here with the tree branches.

Matt brushes his hand over it...

Matt: Very interesting choice in the skin of the...of the...uh...the...uhhh...uhhhhh...

Niki's eyes dart to the side.

Matt: ….This is someone's butt. Isn't it, Niki?

Niki: That is correct.

Matt: EW! WHY DID YOU LET ME DO THAT!?

Niki: Forget that! I thought you were stuck in the window!

Matt: Well, I'm NOT!

Niki: Then WHO THE HELL IS THIS!?

Matt: How should I know!?

Niki: Where were you, anyway?

Matt: Lunch.

Niki: You...were taking a lunch break while we were getting SHOT AT!?

Matt: Uh, it's a little thing called "State Law", Niki. After six hours of work I have the right to a lunch.

Matt looks at the clock.

Matt: I mean, I've only been here for an hour and a half but I INTENDED to work at least six hours.

Niki: Let's find another way out.

Matt: There are like...four more windows.

Niki: Forget it, they're painted on.

Matt: They're...paintings of windows...and one real window...that sounds like laziness if you ask me. Isn't that right, Butt?

Butt: …..

Matt: One of your antlers is off just a bit.

Matt adjusts one of the antlers, the person falls through the window.

Matt: AHHHH! AHHHHHH! NIKI! HELP!

Niki runs in.

Niki: Geez, Matt. Did you just push that poor man to his death?

Matt: It happened so fast, first I was talking to the butt and...

Niki: Forget I asked. Let's go!

Niki grabs Matt's shirt and pulls.

Matt: AHH! Stop pulling on my collar, you're stretching my neck hole out!

Niki is pulling Matt across the Lobby.

Niki: Don't worry, René. We're about to escape! You just...keep doing what you're doing.

A Harris clone manages to tackle René and render him unconscious. One of the Harrises picks him up and carries him away.

Niki: Well, we're super screwed now. In here!

Niki and Matt are in the restroom. There is a single toilet and a sink.

Niki: Cozy. And...not good.

Niki looks at Matt's whose shirt is stretched out beyond his shoulders.

Niki: What's wrong with your shirt? You look like the girl from "Flash dance".

Matt sits on the toilet and pulls a chain, a bucket of water dumps on him.

Matt: I REAAALY hope this didn't come from the toilet.

Tracy knocks on the mirror of the bathroom.

Niki: There you are! What is going on? Why are we flipping uncontrollably?

Tracy: I don't know...we've been in control of who gets to go out there for a while...I don't know.

Niki: René's been knocked out and taken away by those clones and Matt just killed a man.

Matt: NO I DIDN'T!

Niki: There's too many out there.

Tracy: Let's try to switch back, I have an idea. It's the only way to escape...yooou...may not like it.

Niki looks at the toilet.

Niki: But I'll be the reflection.

Tracy: Oh, that's right. Then HE won't like it.

Niki: Oh, then that's fine then. Proceed!

Outside, water starts to pour from the sewer...the water forms into the bodies of Matt and Tracy...who just turned back into Niki.

Matt: Am I dead...?

Matt turns over to see they're across the street from the building. On the sidewalk is...nobody.

Matt: Niki...Niki...or Tracy...whoever...

Matt leans his arm back and lightly taps Niki's face.

Niki: What? Stop doing that!

Matt: The butt, Niki! The man who fell out the window is gone...do you think he was a ghost?

Niki: I really wish I was a ghost now.

Matt: He's probably fine...or getting a lawyer...crap, my ex wife is a lawyer, she's going to be all over this case.

He looks at Niki.

Matt: Hey, you were on "Night Court", weren't you?

Niki barely lifts her head up.

Niki: What?

Matt: You starred in "Night Court". You think I can get out of this?

Niki: You're asking me if I was the blonde in Night Court...Markie Post. You're asking me if I was her?

Matt: I don't care who you played, can you help me with my legal issue or not?

Niki: …..Can you kindly shove me back into the sewer?

Back at Future Old Angela's.

Claire: Peter, we have to get out of here now! If my dad gets inside...then...we're going to have arguments. I mean, it is my dad, it's not like he's going to do anything bad to me (laughs). I don't know why we're freaking out.

Claire goes over and opens the door, Noah falls to the floor.

Claire: Dad, I'm taking my children back with me. Whether you like it or not.

Noah: You have to understand you could put them in danger.

Claire: I've raised them well...they're good kids.

Noah: How long have you been here?

Peter (from inside): Thirty Minutes!

Claire: How many times do I have to shush you!?

Noah: Okay, Claire...I respect your decision.

Angela: You do!?

Peter (from inside): HI MA!

Angela: Peter? Is my older self with you?

Peter: She's in the kitchen with a bag over her head.

Angela: Good!

She turns to Noah and Claire.

Angela: Go ahead and continue your...whatever this is.

Claire: I will protect them...we will protect each other.

Noah: Okay...you know I can never say no to my Claire-Bear.

Claire: WHAT?! You say "no" to stuff I ask for all the time!

Noah walks in the house and up to Tommy and Malina.

Noah: I brought you guys here to keep you away from evil...but now that you two are grown up...what? Late Twenties...early Thirties?

Tommy and Malina exchange looks.

Tommy and Malina: Sure.

Peter: That math doesn't sound right.

Noah: ….I think your mother is right. It's time to bring you back home...and if she's wrong I'll be able to rub this in her face for the rest of her life. Either way it's a win-win.

Claire: Thanks, dad. (eye roll).

Noah: Okay, Peter...take us home. We broke our time machine getting here.

Peter: About that...I kinda lost my teleportation power...but I can control elements now!...Worth it.

Noah: Uh...that's not good.

Tommy: I...can try to teleport us.

Noah: That's right. Tommy has teleportation abilities.

Tommy: Well...mostly things other than myself. I still need practice.

Claire: Peter, why don't you just borrow Tommy's power and use it...I mean since you've become accustomed to stealing my children's abilities anyway.

Peter: Let it go, Claire.

Claire: NEVER!

Peter: Okay...I'll borrow Tommy's power again...and should be able to use it to send us back.

Tommy: My power can teleport through time?

Peter: Only one way to find out.

Malina: That's unsettling.

Peter: Okay...everyone join hands and form a "Friendship Circle"...

Angela: I'm glad Niki's not here...she would kill you for doing this.

They all join hands.

Angela (to Noah): I hope you know what you're doing.

Noah: It's fine...she has a bag over her head in the kitchen. The Universe is safe.

Angela: I'm talking about Claire!

Claire: I can totally hear you two.

Noah: I have to trust her...she's old enough now. What? Late thirties...early forties?

Claire: I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!

Peter concentrates really hard and the group vanishes. Old Angela peeks in the room.

Old Angela: Are they gone?...Good, I don't have to deal with that any...did she drop cookies on the floor after I re-vacuumed?! This is why I can't have nice things!

The group appears in Angela's Office.

Claire: We made it.

Noah: Yes...this is Angela's Office.

They look around to see many Harris Clones around them, pointing guns.

Harris-817: One move...and you're dead.

Noah: Not good.

Claire: ….dad?

Noah: Yes, Claire.

Claire: You know there will be times when I can admit that I was wrong.

Noah: Yes...

Claire: …...

Noah: …...

Claire: …..

Noah: …...WELL!?

Claire: Well what?

Noah: We're you going tooo...

Claire: Going to what? You know, now's really not the time for this, dad.

Noah: Ugh...Forget it.

 **To Be Continued.**


	3. Flaw And Order

**The Heroes Parody Project  
Season 6  
Chapter 3**

 **Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.**

Claire walks up to Sandra. They are both on the front porch of the family's summer home.

Claire (in pigtails): Hi mom!

Sandra: Hi, Claire! Would you like something to drink?

Claire: I sure would, mom!

Sandra: Have some of your favorite beverage.

Claire: Purple Drink! My favorite.

Claire takes a drink and spits it out.

Claire: BLEH! AHHH! Is that...it's sugar! Pure sugar! What the?...Is this sugar dyed purple!? Where the hell is my purple drink!?

Sandra: Hmm, you kids do drink way too much sugar.

Claire: This is NOT a drink. Ow...I can feel my teeth shooting out of their sockets...I think I'm going blind.

Sandra: Here, try this. It's from "Parkman Farms".

Claire: As in MATT Parkman?! Like I would ingest anything that has his name on the label!

Sandra: It's "Grandma Parkman's Re-Carbonated Flavored Liquid Juicy Drink". It's the best summer time beverage that can't be beat!

Claire: That sounds vile. Ugggh...I can't feel my mouth.

Director: NEW ACTOR PLEASE!

Elle runs up and shoves Claire off the porch.

Claire: OOF!

Elle (with one pigtail sticking out of the top of her head): "Grandma Parkman's Re-Carbonated Flavored Liquid Juicy Drink?!" My favorite!

Claire: Re-Carbonated?! That makes it sounds like it used to be flat...

Sandra: And Grandma Parkman used her Grandma Magic to fill it with the finest tasting bubbles ever created!

Claire: I can't count how many things about that sentence disturbs me.

Elle takes a drink.

Elle: Ow...it tastes like staples. It burns!

Elle falls over.

Sandra: You kids and your games. Thanks "Grandma Parkman's Re-Carbonated Flavored Liquid Juicy Drink"!

The screen turns black and white and cuts to a news program.

Niki: And it was THIS drink that has caused so many deaths around the Nation. I'm here at the residence of the CEO of Parkman Farms...(looks at the card)..."Grandma Parkman"...guess she doesn't have a name...I know it's going to be Matt so whatever. I'm Niki Sanders...and THIS...is "Weather News".

The song starts.

 _Niki Sanders...she was a weather girl...but then she got fired...for telling people to keep their mouths open during thunder storms...so many people drowwwwwned! Now she's on her own...in the big city...with her own news station. She is Niki Sanders with The Weather Neeewwwws! WEATHER NEWS!_

Claire: What the HELL is "Weather News"...isn't that just the Weather!?

Niki: Shut up! You're supposed to be dead!

Claire: I died in the commercial shoot?!

Niki knocks on the door. Matt answers.

Matt: Hello dearie.

Niki lowers her microphone.

Matt: Can I help you dearie?...You'll have to forgive me...I'm so old and Grandma-like.

Niki: Ummmm...Matt? Are you supposed to be...dressed up like an old lady or something?...you just look like you...oh wait. What's this?

Niki rips a post it note from Matt's head.

Matt: OW!

Niki: This post it note says "Old Lady Wig"...and this one says "Old Lady Sweater"...uhhh?

Matt: I started the Old Lady Prototype then took a nap. Is it already filming day?

Niki: Oh this is pathetic, Matt. Even for YOU.

Matt: Would you like a piece of butterscotch candy, my dear?

Matt hands Niki a bag.

Niki: It's filled with post it notes that just have the word "Candy!" written on them.

Matt: I ate all the butterscotch candies then took a nap.

Niki: This is stupid! I'm going back to the show.

The song starts.

 _Niki Sanders...she was a weather girl...but then she got fired...for not predicting a snowstorm that would knock out everyone's internet...and people didn't finish binge watching "Stranger Thiiiiiiings"! Now she's on her own...in the big city...with her own news station. She is Niki Sanders with The Weather Neeewwwws! WEATHER NEWS!_

Niki (to Claire): Would you believe I actually had to do jail time for the "internet outage" thing and not the "drowning" thing? Lesson learned. Don't mess with people's Netflix.

Claire: I don't want to hear it. I lost all my teeth to that stupid drink and I'm not even in this episode so I can't grow them back!

Peter runs up and hands Claire a box.

Peter: Claire! Here are the replacement teeth you ordered.

Claire: Ah! I guess this will tide me over until the next episode.

Claire opens the box. It is filled with post it notes that say "TEETH!"

Claire: …...

Niki: Hmm...they could have at least got you white post it notes instead of the bright yellow ones. That's okay, just use some "White-Out" to whiten up those teeth. I tell people to do that all the time and nothing bad has ever happened to...

The song starts.

Niki: WAIT! NO!

 _Niki Sanders...she was a weather girl...but then she got fired...for telling people to use "White Out" to whiten their teeth...so many people were hospitaliiiiiiized! Now she's on her own...in the big city...with her own news station. She is Niki Sanders with The Weather Neeewwwws! WEATHER NEWS!_

Peter: Oh crap! I'm missing Weather News!

Peter runs off.

Niki: Man, my resume is going to look awful.

Claire: Yep, I'm going home now. Give me my teeth.

Claire shoves all the post it notes in her mouth and storms off the set.

 **Nathan: Previously on Heroes...**

Hiro (to Mohinder): Now that the world is back in order. We need to make sure everyone is here, alive and well.

Elle: Welcome to my Biker Gang!

Hiro: Your What-er Gang?!

Elle: I'm going to stop my father. If it takes everything I have.

Elle shoots Bob.

Elle: It's okay, I just killed a dangerous shape shifter responsible for the deaths of many. No big!

Hiro: Why didn't you tell us this before!?

Quentin: Name's Quentin. I'm trying to rescue my sister.

Elle: We'll take the case!

Joanne Collins gets on her plane to hunt down Sylar.

Joanne: And that was it...I don't even know why I was in the episode.

Nathan is going along, reaping souls, as he is now the Grim Reaper.

Nathan: Another person shape shifting as Bob Bishop...interesting. On to my next target.

At a Powers Anonymous Meeting.

Luke: My name is Luke Collins...I have Solar Powers. It's more interesting than it sounds.

Miko: I'm Miko Otomo. I'm a video game character. It's as interesting as it sounds.

Nathan: I came to reap her soul.

Miko dies by the sword of a Ronin Warrior, but it's okay because she comes back.

Nathan: HUH!?

Miko: Those men are from my video game. They must have gotten out too! We have to make things right.

Luke: So...congratulations on not having to actually kill Miko?

Nathan: I guess. Good thing it'll be the last we hear of that.

Not too far away, someone who just so happens to also be named Miko Otomo's soul does not get reaped...the strange fire burns in their eyes.

Janice Parkman meets West Rosen at a restaurant.

Janice: I want you to join my law firm. I have a target I need to take down and I'm going to need you on my team.

 **Elle Bishop  
The Detective Agency  
Not to be confused with the business next door, "Gumshoes!" who specializes in shoe support inserts made of used chewing gum. Gross AND unnecessary! **

The rain was coming down hard. Elle Bishop looks out the window.

Elle: It sure is a rainy day here at "Bishop Investigations".

Hiro: I thought it was called "Elle's Angels"...I'm so confused.

Mohinder: Why are we still here?

Hiro: I just checked. We're all back safe and sound and everyone has their own issues...we have nothing better to do so we're stuck in this sub plot.

Mohinder: Speak for yourself. I have papers to grade...

Hiro: You still teach class?

Mohinder: Well...all the papers are mine...and they're all "A+"...but it's fun knowing that I aced them with flying colors.

Hiro: I shouldn't have asked.

Elle: I think it's time we get out there, Gentlemen. Crime never stops. Thievery, Murder...

Mohinder: Like the guy you killed back at the Hotel?

Elle: Exactly!...Crime is out there. And even if it shows up on my doorstep. I never turn a good case away.

A person suddenly falls onto the sidewalk in front of Elle's window.

Elle: EW! CORPSE! Let's get out of here so someone can clean this up.

Hiro: Don't you want to solve the mystery of the man who mysteriously fell from the sky?

Elle: No time...I have to continue shooting people who look like my father.

Hiro and Mohinder exchange looks.

In the car.

Mohinder: It's not raining.

Elle: Yes, it only rains outside my office window so I can stare out at it dramatically.

Hiro: And I'm still concerned about that person who fell from the window...uh...his body's gone! What happened to his body?! I think we need to solve THAT mystery!

Elle (driving): Nah! Anyway, welcome to the Elle's-mobile...it's fancy.

Mohinder: It's stolen, this wasn't the same car we took to the hotel.

Hiro: And the person it belongs to is shouting at us as we drive away...I can't help but feel we're doing more harm than good.

Elle: Nonsense! Let's roll!

Elle peels off. The car speeds by Niki and Matt who are lying in the road. The car runs over a puddle of water and splashes them in the face.

Niki: ACK! Yuck...

Matt: Bleh...Hey, I swear that was Elle just now.

Niki: Remind me to kill her later.

Matt: Seriously Niki, the butt you pushed out the window is gone. We should really do something about it.

Niki lifts her head up.

Niki: I didn't push anyone out! It was all...wait...Did Elle just come out of the building we were in!? She didn't notice all the clones and shootings?! What the hell?!

Matt: This looks like a job for..."Wheels and The Legman!". You just need to get me a wheelchair...sooo...get on that.

Niki: Ugh.

Niki plops her face down into a puddle.

Meanwhile back in the car.

Elle: You two met my assistant, Emily.

Emily, in the front passenger seat, turns back and waves.

Hiro: Hi!

Mohinder: I believe we met at the Ice Cream Store...We've also met THIS gentleman.

Elle: Huh?

Elle adjusts the rear view mirror to see Quentin sitting in the back with Hiro and Mohinder.

Quentin: Hi!

Elle: What the? Why are you in my Elle's-mobile?

Quentin: I...hired you to rescue my sister. You told me to meet you here.

Elle: That's right. Well...very good then. Emily, what is our next destination?

Emily: There have been reports of a man who looks like your father down by the docks. This was twenty minutes ago.

Elle: Excellent...I'll hunt him down and question him what he knows about my dad...I won't kill him immediately. Probably should have done that at the hotel.

Mohinder: You think!?

Hiro's phone rings.

Hiro: Hey! It's Ando! Wow, I haven't talked to him since the other universe.

Quentin: The other what now?

Hiro answers the phone.

Hiro: Ando! My friend! How are you?

Ando: Hey Hiro, long time no talk. How are you?

Hiro: I'm great! How are things?

Ando: Good, good...It's great to talk to you after all this time. I've been crazy busy working on this game.

Hiro: You make games?! That's cool.

Ando: Uh...you knew that.

Hiro: I did?...oh wait...

Ando: You don't remember me working at The Kompany now? They're the guys who bought out our game studio.

Hiro: You're...working at The Kompany? As in...Noah Bennet's The Company?

Elle: I remember working there...brain's a little fuzzy why I stopped working there.

Mohinder: You were killed by Sylar in the canonical universe...you wouldn't be working there in this one.

Mohinder leans back to a puzzled Quentin.

Mohinder: I mean...Sciency Things.

Quentin: Gotcha.

Hiro: Okay...we'll be there as soon as we can.

Hiro hangs up.

Hiro: So...Elle.

Elle: Yeah.

Hiro: Apparently in this universe Ando is a video game developer. He was working on the video game "Evernow Online" which is an online multiplayer spinoff of the popular video game "Evernow".

Elle: I'm passing out from boredom. What's your point?

Hiro: Well...his company got bought out by THE Kompany...not sure why they would want a video game company...anyway, Ando is working there now.

Elle: That's...incredibly interesting. Is there an indentation of the steering wheel on my face?

Hiro: Yes.

Elle: Sorry, I'll work on not passing ouuu...yaaaaaawn.

Mohinder: Do I need to drive?!

Hiro: Anyway, so...a co-worker of his got thrown in the Kompany Jail since that's a thing and Ando went to look for him and came across...your father.

Elle: My dad's alive!? And in Kompany prison!?

Hiro: Yes...

Quentin: Did you say "The Kompany"!? Erica Kravid! She's the nutcase who is holding my sister hostage!

Elle: Excellent! We'll knock out two birds with one stone then! Good thing she's the show's only villain that everyone's story arcs seems to be revolving around.

Emily: Elle! You just hit someone!

Elle slams on her breaks as the body slides off the front of the car.

Elle: Did it look like my dad?

Emily: …..ish?

Elle: Then he was a very, VERY bad man. Damn evil shape shifters. And we're off!

Mohinder: If I find out there's a completely different Investigation Agency looking into us I'm going to be in a very un-extraordinary mood.

Quentin (looking at the papers in Mohinder's hands): Hey, your students are pretty smart...except for that guy. He got a "B".

Mohinder (tearing up): I've brought shame to my species...my species being me, of course. Oh no! I can hear the children on the playground calling me " _Most Hindered Suresh"_ again!

Quentin: I think you need a hug. Bring it in, buddy.

Hiro: I think I need to "tuck and roll". Why don't these doors have handles?!

 **= = = = = = = = = =  
(HEROES)  
= = = = = = = = = = **

**Joanne Collins  
Airplane  
She's leaaaavin' on a jet plane, don't know when she will land again!**

Joanne: Only because it's taking me a hundred episodes just to travel 22 hours to another country!

A passenger in front of Joanne: SHH!

Joanne: …...

Joanne pushes her call button. The stewardess comes up.

Stewardess: Yes, Mrs. Collins?

Joanne: May I please have a pillow?

Stewardess: No, you lost your pillow privileges after you tried to smother a passenger.

Joanne: He closely resembled the man who ordered the last of the waffle fries at the airport Chick-Fil-A for his stupid son's soccer team! He had to die!

Stewardess: No pillows!

The steward walks off as Joanne scowls at her. In the back of the plane in the opposite row; Edgar, from Samuel Sullivan's Carnival, is in the back reading a magazine. His eye catches what Joanne is doing. She puts on a pair of gold glasses, connected by a chain. She opens a folder marked "PRIVATE: VILLAINS ONLY" to look over her files. Edgar spots a picture of Sylar in the folder. He thinks for a minute then gets out of his seat. He pulls out his plane ticket, bumping into a random man trying to sit next to Joanne. In a flash, he swaps their plane tickets.

Man: That's strange, I thought I had THIS seat. Oh well, I guess I'll go to my new seat on not raise any further questions about it.

The man sits in Edgar's seat as Edgar plops down next to Joanne. She give him a quick side eye, then turns away to continue reading.

Edgar: Hi, how are you?

Joanne closes her folder.

Joanne (thinking to herself): "Hi, may I help you, kind sir?"

Joanne (out loud): Fake nice, Joanne, it's just some loser!

Edgar: …..

Joanne: …..What?

Edgar: Nothing.

Edgar opens his coat and pulls out some waffle fries. Joanne turns and glares at him.

Edgar: I actually don't have any children. I just like the fries. CHOMP!

Joanne: …...

 **Janice Parkman and West Rosen  
Tom's Diner  
West is waiting at the table for the man to pour the coffee..**

West: And he fills it only halfway, and before I even argue, he is looking out the window, at somebody coming in. Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo...

Janice: What are you doing?

West: Sorry, I have a thing with that song. I break into it when...nevermind.

Janice: I'm really glad you decided to join my law firm. I think we'll do a lot of good in this city.

West: Me too. So who is this...(he opens the folder again)...Erica Kravid?

Janice: Head of a major Company...it's called The Kompany...with a "K", it's totally stupid. There have been rumors about long work hours, unpaid overtime, amongst other things. These people are monsters, and we're going to take them down.

West: So where do we start?

Janice: Nobody wants to actually pursue legal action for some reason. So, I'll need someone on the inside.

West: …..

Janice: Enter...you...

West: Wait a minute! You hired me to be your guinea pig!?

Janice: No! Think of it as a..."Law...Spy".

West: I like the sound of that.

Janice: Good! I can't work for her because representing myself in court won't do my reputation any good. I need someone working for me to have me win this case for them.

West: But when do I get to start Lawyer-ing?

Janice: That's the thing. Once we win this case, your face will be in the papers. Then, once we reveal you passed the BAR exam, which you already did, and became a lawyer out of inspiration of wanting to help people, that will make our business shoot off the ground.

West: You mean your firm isn't already popular?

Janice: It's not about popularity, West. It's about preventing people from using other Lawyers and just relying on my firm for their needs.

West: That...sounds like popularity.

Janice: See? Now you're getting it!

West: Huh...what?...Nevermind.

Waitress: Are you two going to order, or what? You've been sitting here for over an hour flapping your jaws about Lawyer stuff. Here's a menu.

The waitress plops down two menus in front of Janice and West. They open them to see the soup of the day:

 **Chapter Three "Flaw And Order"**

Janice: I actually already ate lunch.

West: I'll have what she's having.

Waitress: Get out.

At the Gold Hotel, the double doors open as Elle makes her way into Bob's office.

Hiro: What are we doing back here?

Elle: Something seemed off about these shape shifters. Maybe...just maybe they can actually lead me to where my father is. Why are they shape shifting into him? Is it a trap?

Hiro: Let's ask...oh wait...you killed him.

Elle: You're right! You SHOULD go back in time and stop me from killing him. Then we can find out...

Hiro: Are you NUTS!? Do you know how many butterflies that will destroy?

Elle: ….uh...you lost me.

Hiro: Them being alive could bring utter destruction to the world!

Elle: You JUST got through giving me crap about killing them. Make up your damn mind already!

Hiro: What's done is done. I can't go back in time and prevent a death...it will only bring bad things.

Elle: I suppose we'll just have to spend countless seasons finding out, now won't we.

Hiro: Groan...

Hiro disappears. Elle, Mohinder, Emily and Quintin disappear as well.

Elle is asleep at her desk. She wakes up with a strange indentation in her face.

Elle: Ow! I fell asleep on my stapler again! What the!?

Elle runs outside to see everyone walking around carrying papers. Someone walks up to her.

Man: Good morning! What an Extraordinary day it is! All praise The God Of Science.

Elle: The What of What now?

Hiro runs up.

Hiro: Oh Elle! It's awful. I went back in time and prevented that shape shifter's death. Now Mohinder is the leader of Earth!

Elle: Oh, Hiro, that was incredibly silly for you to do...wait...the dude's only been dead for like a day! How is all this even possible!?

Hiro: Ask all the damn butterflies you had me squish into a fine butterfly like paste!

Elle: Like...Butter?...Fly...Butter...Butterfly...?

Hiro: What?!

Elle: Nevermind, it sounded funnier in my head. Anyway, calm down. I have this under control. Where is the shape shifter?

Hiro: Oh, he's dead. Apparently he had bad ties with the Mob and they gunned him down seven minutes after he would have died in our time.

Elle: So, he was going to die anyway and now we STILL have no leads AND Mohinder is the leader of the universe? Oh, you so better be grateful I'm not Niki.

Hiro: Heh...just the planet, Elle. Let's not get carried away. And yes...VERY grateful.

Hiro checks his phone.

Hiro: Oh...no, I was wrong...he just became ruler of the universe.

Some children run by.

Child: What are you going to ask for for "Mohind-Mas"?

Other Child: Research!

Child: Me too! Is there anything better!?

Hiro: Has anybody ever bothered to ask what in the world that man is actually researching?

Elle: No, because NOBODY CARES! Fix this! Now!

Hiro: Fine! I'll bring us back to the original hotel visit when you were in your silly Biker Gang. You have seven minutes to get your information from him.

Elle: GO TEAM VENTURE!

Back in time: Hiro, Mohinder and Elle are in The Golden Hotel with "Bob". Hiro and Mohinder looks over to see Elle wearing a large dress.

Hiro: What is this?!

Elle (Southern Accent): I've changed my ways. No longer am I a part of a rough and tumble biker gang. I present to you: "The Elle's Belle's". Kicking butt and taking names...just in time for tea on the veranda.

Hiro: Audible Sigh. Just hurry up and question the man.

Elle: You, sir, are a slithery shape shifting snake and in violation of the SOUTH! Answer for your crimes!

Elle raises her Umbrella. It extends forward straight into "Bob's" face.

SHOINK!

Hiro and Mohinder: AHHHHH!

Mohinder: Death by umbrella to the face. I hope I don't go that way.

Elle: Oh, fiddle dee dee.

Hiro: Wonderful. I guess I'll go back in time and try this again!

Elle: But my dance card is full!

Hiro: Goodbye!

TIME FWOOSH!

Hiro warps back a few moments ago, he swipes Elle's Umbr-ELLE-uh.

Hiro (reading the umbrella): Wow, it's actually called that. I'd be impressed with how clever that is if I wasn't so frustrated.

Elle tackles "Bob".

Elle: Okay, shifty! Why are you portraying my father!?

"Bob": I'll never tell!

Elle: Where is your boss!? Tell us!

"Bob": I won't!

Elle: Damn, this guy's good.

Hiro: Elle, this guy is obviously working for The Kompany. They have your father imprisoned. These guys were probably just hired to get you to come to The Kompany. Why?...We don't know. Let's just let this guy hurry up and get killed by the Mob and let us be off.

"Bob": I'm what?! I better get out of here.

The shape shifter runs off.

Elle: Huh...guess he isn't going to get whacked after all.

Hiro: Ugh...I fear the worst.

Mohinder: Great news! Congress just passed the bill to rename July 4th "Mohindependence Day"! Isn't that extraordinary?!

Hiro turns to Elle.

Elle: The man has to die.

Hiro: Godspeed.

Elle grabs her umbrella and takes off running.

Elle: Come back here! In the name of the South!

 **Nathan, Miko, Luke  
Luke's House**

Nathan peeks out the window. Luke is standing in the kitchen while Miko is watching Luke's son, Dennis, play a video game.

Luke (to Nathan): Sorry, we had to come back here. The Nanny bolted.

Nathan: It's fine, how are we going to deal with this warrior problem?

Miko: It's not just the warriors. There is no doubt that others are escaping the video game as well. Ronin Warriors are only the beginning. Horrible, vicious monsters will be next if we don't hurry.

Luke: Hurry to what?

Miko: Something has taken me out of my game, and that something is causing the contents of the game to leak as well. We have to find a way to get me back into the game. If we can destroy the source copy of the game this is coming from...all of the content crossing over will disappear as well.

Nathan: Won't...that kill you?

Miko: This living form yes...but I will still live on in the video game that others play. The game that is being ripped apart is the one I have to go back into.

Luke: Hmm...know anybody with that type of ability?

Nathan thinks to himself for a second.

Nathan (thinking): Micah would probably be our best bet. He's into that sort of thing. But I have no idea where he is. I'd hate to have to play the Molly Card again. It's a cheap tactic that we somehow end up using every season. Maybe if she still hangs out with Micah, he can ask her...then everybody will give HIM crap for using Molly. It's brilliant!

Miko and Luke exchange looks.

Nathan: Right! I...um...hold on...I'll be right back.

Luke: Where are you going?

Nathan: Don't worry...it's a "Death" thing.

Luke: Oh, right...you're the Grim Reaper. Haven't gotten used to that yet.

Back at The Gold Hotel, Elle bursts out onto the roof.

Elle: SOUTHERN JUSTICE!

The shape shifter is startled, loses his balance, and falls off the roof.

Elle: Well, that was unsatisfying.

Nathan: Hey!

Elle: AHHH! Sweet Buttery Biscuits, you scared the She-Devil out of me!

Nathan: I'm not going to ask what's going on with this ridiculous getup.

Elle: I, sir, am a LADY! Now if you'll excuse me...I have to cool off over all this drama surrounding the inheritance of Big Daddy's Will.

Elle whips her fan out.

Elle: UGH! This fan is filled with holes! It's not going to cool me off at all! Oh...the Hot Southern Sun beats down on me like a...hot...summer...beat...down...thing.

Nathan: Yeah, we're in New York. Whatever. Where is the corpse!?

Elle: Overboard.

Nathan: Oh yeah...another Bob.

Elle: What?! You know this guy?

Nathan: Uh...yeah, I've already reaped his soul once. I'm not impervious to Hiro Nakamura's time screwing...which I'm absolutely sure YOU had nothing to do with. (rolls eyes).

Elle: Of course not! Like I said...I am a LADY!

Elle takes a sip of her tea...she immediately spits out a tea bag.

Elle: BLEH! Ah...water...always forget to add that. Why are these men shape shifting in my father?

Nathan: How should I know?...All I know is that I've reaped two...well, technically three...of these guys. You have any leads?

Elle: He's being held prisoner at The Kompany.

Nathan: Then...what are you doing here?

Elle: To see why these men are shape shifting in my father!

Nathan: It's obvious its a trap.

Elle: Wonderful.

Nathan: Well...now I have to go ALL THE WAY DOWNSTAIRS to reap this soul so...you kids have fun.

Elle: Hmmmm...

Elle returns to "Bob's" office.

Elle: Elle's Belles, Assemble!

Hiro: We are NOT your Belles!

Elle: I just got off the phone with my wonderful assistant, Emily. She has our client, Quentin Frady, with her. His sister is being held captive by Erica Kravid, leader of The Kompany. The Kompany, who is holding my father prisoner and is trying to lure me there for some reason. We'll gather the two of them up...and make for The Kompany.

Hiro: Where Ando is currently making video games at.

Elle: Exactly!

Hiro: Why didn't we just go there in the first place?

Elle: I swear, you and Nathan...you both sound like broken records.

Hiro: Flying Man was here and you didn't tell me!?

Nathan gets back to Luke's.

Nathan: Okay, so what's the plan?

Miko: We have to find out where the source copy of Evernow is and get me back into it.

Nathan: I think we have someone we can talk to. Let's go.

Luke: I better stay behind and watch Dennis.

Nathan: Okay...we'll find out who is behind this.

Miko: This is the box to my video game. Luke's son is playing it.

Nathan: He has the game? We can't we just use it?

Miko: This isn't the source copy. It's a safe version. The source copy is the one bringing the game contents into the world so it has to be destroyed. Maybe we should go to the developer. On here it says "Now being developed by The Kompany".

Nathan: The Kompany, huh?

Joanne is sitting at a very luxurious dinner party. She is wearing an exquisite white dress.

Joanne: The people at this table bore me.

She gets up and starts to walk away.

Man: Who is that woman leaving the table? She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!

Joanne (walking by): I know.

She walks up to a wall and places her hand on it, it explodes into a million crystals.

Man: AHH! That was a load bearing crystal wall!

The room collapses on the dinner guests as Joanne walks into a dance room full of rich people.

Host: Everyone clear the dance floor, the most ravishing woman in the world walking through.

Joanne: You think I don't know that? Out of my way, fools!

Joanne grabs a handful of hors d'oeuvres and shoves them in her mouth.

Joanne: BLEH! These are diamonds!

Chef: Only the best for you, my lady.

Joanne: Absolutely Exquisite!

Joanne puts down the mirror she was looking into. She turns back to the chef and flips her imaginary long hair.

Joanne: Oh, these? I've had better!

She makes her way up some stairs as everyone turns to her. She overlooks the city of Paris then turns around to face the crowd.

Joanne: This...is the worst dinner party I have ever been to.

She smiles, bits of diamonds are in her teeth. The room erupts in applause.

Joanne wakes up on the airplane, Edgar is sitting next to her. Staring at her mouth.

Edgar: Sorry, I don't mean to stare...you just had a TON of raisins in your teeth. Where did you get raisins? They don't serve them on the flight.

Joanne: I brought some trail mix from home. Why are you even here? I thought I killed you already!

Edgar: Nope, luv, still here.

Joanne: Well, I don't want you sitting next to me. I'm not allowed to have any more pillows so kindly get some for me and smother yourself.

Edgar: Aye, don't you want help looking for your friend there. "Sylar"?

Joanne: You went through my things!? Oh, you are just begging to be killed.

Edgar: In my defense, you passed out with your giant villain folder right in the open. It's not like I had to try.

Joanne: Well, mind your own business.

Edgar: Me and Sylar...we go way back.

Joanne: You know who he is?

Edgar: Yup. I...can take you to him.

Joanne: I already know where he is. He's in Australia.

Edgar: Okay, that narrows it down. But you think he's going to just let you catch him or whatever your business is.

Joanne: We're planning to meet at a Restaurant in a few days.

Edgar: And then...

Joanne: As the waitress, I will bring him his favorite appetizer, "Chocolate Cake".

Edgar: Cake as an appetizer? Odd, but I like it.

Joanne: Then when he goes to pick up his fork...I will arrive as his dinner guest, comment how dirty his silverware is, and replace it with a "new fork". Then he will pass out, I will exclaim that this is due to how delicious the cake was, avoiding suspicion, and take him away.

Edgar: Questions!

Joanne: Ugh...What?

Edgar: He's not going to find it strange that the person dining with him is the waitress who gave them the cake?

Joanne: He'll be too enamored with the cake to notice.

Edgar: Aaaand...why are you bringing him a cake?

Joanne: It has a special compound filled with special ingredients used to render him completely useless and sleepy.

Edgar: Aaaaand...what's with the fork?

Joanne: The fork is the "activator" for the cake compound. The metal in the fork has special trigger ingredients. When they intersect with the compounds in the cake, it will make a chemical toxin that will render him...

Edgar: "Completely useless and sleepy" yeah, yeah. Got that. That sounds really complicated and unnecessary.

Joanne: Your FACE is really complicated and unnecessary! Stop asking questions!

Edgar: I mean you could just lace the icing with Benadryl or something. Either way, you're going about it all wrong.

Joanne: Like YOU would have a better plan?

Edgar: I would in fact.

Edgar (explaining): Sylar will be sitting at his table. We send a REAL waitress over there to take his order. He'll order the cake as usual. That is when you come in.

Joanne sits down across from Sylar and explains...

Edgar: That you're a talent scout. He's always wanted to break into show business.

Joanne: That's not in his file.

Edgar: Because I just made it up.

Joanne: UGH!

Edgar: You will charm him and he won't be any the wiser. The waitress will return with his cake. He'll take that excellent first bite...then I run up and bash his head in with a dessert tray.

Edgar runs up and slams a tray over Sylar's head, he passes out on the table. Joanne looks up.

Joanne: That's a terrible idea!

Joanne notices everyone is staring at her in the restaurant.

Joanne: …..uh...why isn't this hypothetical plan-dream thing not ending?...We should be back on the plane now.

Edgar: Oh no, luv. I drugged you, brought you to the restaurant, woke you up and set you loose. This is all the real deal!

Joanne: WHAT?!...HOW!?

Edgar: I'm a quick walker. Though I wasn't expecting you to get loopy and still think you were playing the waitress. You originally put the chocolate cake in that chair you're sitting in...so I had to order another one...and pay for two cakes so thanks for that.

Joanne: I'm sitting in cake?!

Edgar: Yup.

Edgar picks up Sylar and slings him over his shoulder.

Edgar: See you back in the car!

Edgar runs off. Joanne is frozen in her chair as everybody in the restaurant is staring at her.

Joanne: Uh...OH NO! That man passed out!...It must be because that cake was so delicious!

Everyone in the restaurant: …...

Joanne: Don't worry, Joanne. You've been practicing for this.

Joanne gets up and starts to walk away.

Man: Who IS that woman!? She's ravishing!

Man: She's elegance defined!

Other Man: She totally has cake icing on her butt!

Joanne: Oh, shut up!

Meanwhile, Janice Parkman and West Rosen arrive at The Kompany.

Janice: Here we are.

West: I'm kinda worried about this.

Janice: Why? It's just an evil corporation. Don't do it for your safety. Do it for your potential career!

West: What kind of advice is that?!

Janice: Good advice, that's what! It's what made me the world's greatest Lawyer that I am today. Now get in there and do the Firm proud!

West: Fine.

West gets out of the car and walks into the double doors. A Harris clone greets him.

Harris-2983: Yes?

West: I'd like...to apply for a job.

The Harris clone gets on his intercom.

Harris-2983: Come with me, we'll see the boss.

West: A...already? Shouldn't I like...fill out an application?

Harris-2983: Nah, you're good.

West: Well, there's no reason to be suspicious of that.

West and the Harris clone enter a main office. Before him is a giant desk and chair. Erica Kravid is stroking a cat in her office chair.

Erica: TURN!

Two Harris' run out and rotate her chair to face West.

Erica: Welcome...to...The Kompany!

West: …..

Erica: …..

Erica looks around.

Erica: There was supposed to be more of a dramatic..."oomph" to that introduction.

She looks at one of the Harris clones.

The Harris clone lowers his hand, pretending it's "Lightning".

Harris-9: CRACKLE! CRAKLE! CRAKLE!

Erica: That was awful!

Harris-9: Sorry.

Erica: Anyway, so you want a job here, do you?

West: Yes, maam!

Erica: Please, no need to be so formal. "Maam" was my mother's name.

West: Uhhhh...

Erica: You like video games?

West: Of course!

Erica: Then you will do fine here. Though I'm curious...why would a fresh faced Lawyer leave the practice so soon?

West: UHHH...How...how did you know I used to be a Lawyer?

Erica: Well, I do watch the news, my dear. You were the Lawyer in the Matthew Parkman trial.

West: Oh crap, I was the Lawyer in that trial wasn't I?

Erica: Sure were.

West: I...uh...it just wasn't for me. I wanted to chase my passion...and that is video games.

Erica: Perfect! I see no reason to ask any follow up questions.

The cat sitting in Erica's lap explodes.

West: AHHHHHH!

Erica: Sorry, these cat balloons are extremely delicate. I'd get rid of my nails so I wouldn't pop them so much, but why on Earth would I do that?!

West (rubbing the back of his head): I...don't know.

Erica: You may start immediately. Harris here will take you to your cubicle...I mean cell...I...what did I say the first time?

West: Cubicle.

Erica: Yes, that's the one. Okay, take him away. Enjoy your time here at...The Kompany!

Harris-9: CRACKLE! CRACKLE! CRACKLE!

Erica: Harris, my dear...you're going to have to change sounds. You're not cutting it. Give me something different, like...a windy storm.

Harris-9: …..FWOOSH!

Erica: I like it. Let's try that for a while.

Harris-9: FWOOSH!

Erica: Okay, now I'm annoyed with it. Think of something else.

Elle make her way back to the car.

Elle: Okay, we picked up Emily and Quentin.

Emily: Hello!

Quentin: Greetings!

Elle: And now we can proceed to the...

Nathan and Miko are waiting for Elle by her car.

Elle: What's all this then?

Nathan: You're on your way to The Kompany?

Elle: Yes...to save my father...and hopefully not kill him when I mistake him to be a shape shifter!

Nathan: We're coming with you, this is...

Hiro: Katana Girl! She's the mascot for the "Evernow Series". That Cosplay is incredible. And you're with Flying Man! This day can't get any better.

Nathan: She's actually the real "Katana Girl". The Kompany is using a copy of the game to send digital monsters into our world to wreck havoc, she just happened to come along with it.

Hiro: I believe every word of this.

Nathan: I'm glad someone does because I find it bonkers. I'm the Grim Reaper. I don't have time to be dealing with this crap!

Hiro: Wait! Ando is a game designer at The Kompany! And this is the same Kompany trying to trick Elle with shape shifters!? Surely, something isn't right here. Ando can't be behind this! That would be villainy!

Nathan: I'm thinking it might not be easy accomplishing this...we may need someone who can "speak with computers" in order to get the game back in order.

Mohinder: You're referring to Micah Sanders.

Elle: Wait...are you trying to find Molly!? Nathan, we all agreed in the cast meeting. No using Molly this season!

Nathan: I either need to find him or find her so I can find him. If we don't stop the game world from releasing digital monsters unto the world, many people will die...which will be havoc on my workload.

Hiro: I'm curious, how do you find the time to reap all these souls?

Nathan: It's very difficult getting so many done in a short amount of time.

Quentin: Gasp! Are you like...The Santa Claus of Death?

Nathan: …..Yes...I'm Death Santa...who are you again?

Elle: This is Quentin, his sister is being held by The Kompany and we're on an Investigation mission to find out where she is.

Nathan: You just said "The Kompany".

Elle: You're right! (She turns to Quintin) CASE CLOSED!

Quintin: You still have to rescue her!

Elle: Oh right, I keep forgetting that. And this is Emily, she's my trusty assistant! She assists me with trusty things.

Nathan: Sounds riveting. Alright, just take us to Micah, we'll pick him up and go save the world from an evil video game.

Quintin: And save my sister!

Hiro: And save Ando!

Elle: And save my dad! And find out why shape shifters are causing me so much grief.

Mohinder: Is anybody going to question why The Kompany is somehow involved in pretty much everybody's plot line?!

West is sitting at his new desk. He turns on his computer.

West: Allright...making games. Here we go...

Ando: Hey!

West: AHHHHHHH! Sorry, this place puts me on edge.

Ando: Hey, I remember you! You're West. The Cheerleader's friend.

West: That's right! Good to see a familiar face. So...you work here too?

Ando: Yup! Been here for a while...I kinda lose track of the days.

West: Yeah...so...it's kinda weird that they just stuck me here. What are the hours?

Ando: Oh, haha...there really isn't "hours"...

West: Uh...I don't understand.

Ando: You see, the people that work here don't go home.

West: I'm sorry, can you run that by me again?

Ando: We don't go home! We work all day and night!

West: I...I...you're joking, right?

Ando: Nope!

West: …..Uhh...Um...So...you work here...around the clock?

Ando: That's right.

West: ….No breaks?

Ando: Oh, of course we get breaks and lunches! We just never leave!

West: How are you calm about this?! You're a prisoner! You work all night?! How do you sleep!?

Ando: Simple! See that clock over there?

West: Yeah...it's 9am...wait...not it's not. I clearly remember it being past noon when I got here.

Ando: Simple explanation. Let me break it down for you. The "work day" starts at 8am in the morning. We take our normal breaks, our normal lunches, and then...when the clock strikes 5pm. Right on the minute...a gas is released into the office space.

West: A GAS!?

Ando: Yup. This gas revitalizes the body...and tricks it into thinking it's the start of a brand new day! The clock also immediately resets to 8am! So our brains and bodies think it's a new day and we continue to work. Regardless of what time it is outside.

West: That...Tha...That's insanity! How are you okay with this?!

Ando: The gas tricks our brains into knowing the truth...but unable to process any negative emotion to it.

West: I can't believe my ears! Janice was right...this Kompany is awful. But this is more than about law...you guys are prisoners here! We have to get you out!

Ando: Well, you have until 5pm "our time" to do so. Once the next round of gas is released, you won't be bothered by it enough to ask for help.

West: I have to get out of here!

Ando: Oh...okay then.

West slowly gets up...he takes off running.

Ando: Hmm...I hope he comes back. We have a lot of work to do on the Evernow game.

A co-worker stands up in his cubicle.

Co-Worker: Did you forget, Ando? His implant will bring him back.

Ando: I totally forgot to tell him about the implant!

West is running down the hallway, Harris clones are opening the door for him, letting him run free.

Ando (voice over): Any worker is free to leave at any time they wish.

Flashback to the cat balloon in Erica's lap exploding, West jumps in his seat. A Harris clone shoots a chip into the back of his head.

Erica: Sorry, these cat balloons are extremely delicate. I'd get rid of my nails so I wouldn't pop them so much but why on Earth would I do that?!

West (rubbing the back of his head): I...don't know.

Ando: Once the work clock strikes 5, the implant will activate for all members currently not on the compound. Under any circumstance, they will come back to the office. Just in time to get some inhalation of revitalizing gas and be ready for more work!

West runs out to Janice's car, he hops in frantically.

Janice: Good grief, that took forever.

West: Drive away from here. Now.

Janice: What in the world happened?

West: We got ourselves a case.

Janice: Excellent!

A cat walks in front of Janice's car.

Janice: Awww...look at the little kitty.

The cat explodes.

Janice and West: AHHHHHHHHH!

Janice: UGH! Those damn cat balloons! Ever since the circus came to town I can never tell the difference. They've been scaring the crap out of me for weeks...stupid cats.

Janice drives away from The Kompany.

In a cab, Sylar is passed out while Joanne and Edgar are next to him.

Edgar: So...what happens now?

Joanne: I kill you and bring him back to the States. The person I'm working for needs his abilities.

Edgar: Last I checked he doesn't have any abilities.

Joanne: Yet...and that is what he is needed for. Now that you helped me retrieve him what do you want in return?

Edgar: Ah, yes. Nothing big. I just planned on killing you and bringing our friend here back to the States. The person I'M working for needs his abilities.

Joanne: GUH!...Are we working for the same person?!

Edgar: Nah.

Joanne: I thought you said he doesn't have any abilities.

Edgar: Right. Yet...that is what my boss needs him for.

Joanne: …...

Edgar: …...

Joanne draws a gun as Edgar draws a knife.

Joanne: HA!...you think that's going to stop my bullet?

Edgar: I dragged your unconscious body off a heavily packed airplane through a heavily secure airport and in the middle of a heavily populated restaurant without anybody batting an eye. Pretty sure I can kill you before your brain tells your itchy trigger finger there to even begin to pull it.

Joanne: So...my suspicions were correct. You have abilities. I HATE people with abilities. Except for my son...who has abilities because of you freaks!

Edgar (looking confused): That...makes no sense. How are we...me especially...responsible for that?

Joanne: You just are. You have an ability...I kill people with abilities.

Edgar: You picked a bad one to kill.

Joanne: The bad ones...are the best ones.

Edgar readies his knife.

Joanne aims her gun.

Edgar: So Joanne...quick question.

Joanne: I suppose you get one death wish. Go ahead.

Edgar: …..Where's Sylar?

Joanne: You think I'm going to fall for that?!

Edgar: No...I'm pretty sure he's no longer with us.

Joanne and Edgar look over to find Sylar missing from the car.

Joanne: How in blazes did he get out so fast?!

Edgar thinks for a minute.

Down the street, Sylar speeds around the corner, out of sight.

Sylar: Did I just "copy" Edgar's power?...I can retrieve powers again?! And I don't need to lob off any scalps to do it?!...ABOUT DAMN TIME!

Edgar: We...might have to team up again for this one.

Joanne: -Sigh-...I suppose.

Joanne scoots back over to her seat.

SQUISH!

Joanne: Did I...did I just sit on a Cake?! How?!

Edgar: I bought you a slice of cake as a fake piece offering. That's even more money wasted on a cake. This is why you can't have nice things.

Joanne: I changed my mind, I think I'm going to kill you now and work alone.

Elle's car pulls up to a house in ruins.

Elle: Uh...is this...Micah's house?

Hiro: It should be the hideout for the Third Generation...Micah's formed group of Freedom Fighters...who...fight...for freedom...I'm not sure what they do exactly.

Nathan: This place looks like it was burnt to a crisp.

Hiro: Gasp! We better get inside and make sure nobody's hurt.

Elle and the others walk into the destroyed house.

Hiro: Micah!...Are you here? Hello! I have Flying Man with me...and the real Katana Girl from "Evernow". She only looks like super convincing cosplay but she's the real deal.

A figure steps out from the shadows, holding a gun and a sword. He points it at the group.

Hiro: ….Zach?!

Elle: The kid from Season One, right?

Hiro: That's right! I'm proud of you Elle!

Elle: Me too! For a season that didn't have me in it, I'm surprised I didn't die from boredom!

Hiro: That's nice. Zach! What are you doing here? Where's Micah?

Zach: I don't know. The Third Generation disbanded and he and Molly went on the run. Did you bring any of them with you?

Hiro: Any...of what? Micah and Molly?

Zach: No. The creatures.

The group looks at each other. Zach turns his attention to Miko.

Zach: You're not supposed to be here.

Miko: I know. We're trying to get back in the game. The Kompany is letting all the monsters loose in your world!

Zach: Right. Between the digital and physical monsters, this world doesn't have much time left.

Elle: "Physical" monsters? What's that mean?

Zach: Like she said, digital monsters are plaguing the world. There are physical monsters causing havoc as well. It's rumored that when a person dies and their soul doesn't get sent to the afterlife quick enough they manifest into a creature.

Everyone instantly looks at Nathan.

Nathan: ...What?...I told you I didn't have time for this crap.

 **To Be Continued**


	4. The Kurtain Rises

**The Heroes Parody Project  
Season 6  
Chapter 4**

 **Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.**

Matt runs into Peter's living room, he can hardly contain his excitement. Peter is on the couch, watching TV.

Matt: Presenting...

Matt drops what looks like a stack of papers in front of Peter.

Peter: What's this?

Matt: Oh nothing...only the movie script for our next AAA Blockbuster film.

Peter: What brought this on?

Matt: I heard on the news that they are currently in the works of rebooting "The Matrix"!

Peter: I love The Matrix!

Matt: Exactly! That's why we're going to reboot our own movie and make billions!

Peter (disappointed): So...we're not doing The Matrix...?

(Peter imagines throwing all his skin tight leather suits in the fireplace).

Matt: Nope! We just need to think of the perfect move to reboot.

Peter: Then what's the script of?

Matt: Oh, I was just proving a point. It's just a telephone book I spray painted white.

Peter: You spray painted the "yellow pages" white?...They...make white pages. Wait...do they even make phone books anymore?! What year is this?

Niki: You're wasting your time.

Peter and Matt look over to see Niki in the kitchen eating cereal.

Niki: Nobody cares about movie reboots, that's why they always bomb.

Matt: Not all of them.

Peter: Why are people suddenly in my house?

Niki: TV show reboots is where it's at. They have more potential.

Matt: More than a blockbuster film?! You're nuts!

Niki: Okay...how about we make a bet?

Matt: DEAL!

Niki: I...haven't told you what the bet...whatever...I bet that I can make a TV Show reboot more successful than a movie reboot.

Matt: Oh yeah...well...I think MY TV Show reboot will be better!

Niki: Uh...no, you're making a movie reboot...that's the point of the bet, stupid.

Matt: Oh, right! Deal! Actually, I think...we should spice it up a bit.

Niki (squints): …...go on.

Matt: Not only do we have to star in our own productions...We have to PICK what the other person has to reboot.

Niki: Hahaha...I love it! Okay...you're on!

Matt and Niki shake hands.

Niki: You...have to remake...TITANIC.

Peter: You can't remake timeless classics!

Matt: Hmm...okay, I can do that. You have to reboot...The Golden Girls!

Niki (gritting her teeth): And why...pray tell...would you pick THAT show exactly?

Matt: Because you're really, really, really, really, REALLY...

The paramedics wheel the gurney carrying Matt away from Peter's house and toward the ambulance. They wheel him in front of Niki as Matt grabs her arm.

Matt: Niki...I...was going to say..."really...old".

Niki: Excuse me, I have to go cut the brakes on a totally different ambulance. (To Matt): We start this tomorrow!

The next morning, Matt and Peter are on the "set", on the grand staircase of The Titanic.

Matt: This is great! Everything is going according to plan. This movie is going to blow Niki's crappy reboot out of the water!

Peter: So, who am I playing again?

Matt: The lead of course! Jack Dawson. A young free spirit! Once an adorable orphan adopted by Daddy Warbucks, he obtains a Golden Ticket to explore an exciting Chocolate Factory which he can only get to by riding on his best friend, Falkor. I may have some of that bio wrong, let me get back with you on that.

Peter: Sounds exciting! Who are you going to play?

Matt: I'll be The Captain of the ship. Copernicus J. Captains...My crew just calls me "Cap" for short.

Peter: Your name is Captain Cap Captains?!

Matt: Now where is our "Rose"?

Peter: Who is playing her...?

Matt: I had the casting department give that role to Elle. I liked the chemistry you two had when you were King and Queen in that "Chess" show we did that totally bankrupted our real show.

Peter: We did make a good team, didn't me? This is going to be fun!

Matt: I couldn't agree more! Ah...here she is...

An old woman walks up to Matt and Peter.

Matt: Um...Elle?

Old Woman: My name is Eleanor...but you can call me "Elle" for short, my dear. I'm here for the part.

Peter: For the part of...

Eleanor: Rose! She is my absolute favorite.

Matt: Huh...could have sworn I told them to give the part to "Elle" Elle. Oh well!

Peter: It's all good! Let's make this movie!

Matt: Right!

Peter takes Eleanor's arm.

Peter: Follow me, madam.

Eleanor: Oh, you are such a nice, fine young man. And so handsome!

Peter: That's what I keep telling everyone!

Matt (to himself): This is it, Matt. You are going to make this movie shine! But really curious what happened to Elle.

Meanwhile, on the set of a kitchen.

Niki (as Dorothy): Yep...this cheesecake sure is good. (eye roll). Anybody have any old lady problems they want to talk about?

Angela puts down her mirror.

Angela (as Blanche): The only problem I have is that I have FAR too many gentleman callers to worry about. I'm sure none of you know what that's like.

Niki: I should have been Blanche, dammit!

Angela: But then you wouldn't have gotten me, wouldn't have had a full cast and Parkman would win your silly bet.

Niki: I guess.

Hiro (as Sophia): Why do I have to play Sophia?!

Niki: Because there are no more spots. You'll get your money.

Hiro: This wig so itchy!

Niki: Because it's wadded up dryer lint. Deal with it!

Niki looks over at the empty chair.

Niki: Where the hell is "Rose"?

Elle bursts into the kitchen.

Elle: I do say, it sure is tough being such a rich socialite on this giant boat. I need a free spirit to take me away from all this...TAKE ME AWAY, JACK!...Take me to the other side of the boat!

Niki: And who the hell are YOU supposed to be?

Elle: Uh..."Rose"...duh!

Niki: Rose from "The Golden Girls"? You look nothing like her!

Elle: This isn't The Titanic set?

Niki: No! Why would you think that?

Elle: They're filming the reboot movie on the same lot...there was probably a mix up at the casting office.

Niki: Wonderful. Well, we don't have time to hunt down the real Rose. Sit your butt down and eat some damn cheesecake.

Elle sits down at the table.

Hiro: Hey, Rose, you took troubled. This reminds me of a story. Picture it...Sicily. 1922.

Elle: Oh, this day has just been the worst!

Hiro: HEY! I'm reminiscing here!

Elle: First I miss out on a movie part. Now I'm stuck eating baked goods with a bunch of old broads! And what's really crazy is that NOW they want me to star in their TV Show reboot!

Niki: Don't make me send you to the hospital too! I'm fixing this!

Niki gets up and storms out of the kitchen.

Elle: I'm actually not in the mood for cheesecake. Fortunately, I did bring snacks!

Elle opens her purse and pulls out a bag of baked goods.

Elle: I call them "Sperheoven Krispies". They're a Scandinavian treat!

Angela walks over.

Angela: They smell awful.

Elle: You just have to eat them right. You hold your nose...and pop one in your mouth. MMMM!

Angela and Hiro both grab a piece and pop and eat them.

Angela: OH MY GOD!

Hiro: EEEEEGGGH!

Angela runs over to the sink as Hiro dives for the trash can.

Elle: You fools! I told you to hold your noses. Try to bring food to the locals and they always manage to screw it up somehow.

Elle lets go of her nose...her face turns white as she falls over off the chart.

Elle: ERK!

Meanwhile, Peter and Eleanor are on the front of the ship.

Peter: Rose my dear...it's much too dangerous for you to stand on these rails. I'm only looking our for your safety.

Eleanor: That's very sweet of you, dear.

Peter: So that's why I'M going to stand on the rails while you hold me up.

Eleanor: Umm...okay.

Peter climbs on the rails and spreads his arms while Eleanor holds his sides.

Peter: I FEEL LIKE...I'M FLYING!

Matt (dressed like The Captain, sitting in the director's chair): Man...I was wrong. His chemistry with her is WAY better than anything he did with Elle. I should reboot the "Chess" show we did and have them play the leads. It'll be perfect! If anybody likes anything...it's TV Show reboots!

Niki: MATT!

Matt (to Niki): What the? Are you wearing my Muumuu?! Wait...wait..wait...hold on a sec...wait...(checks under his shirt)...nevermind, I got mine on. What do you want?

Niki: You're filming your movie on the same set of my show!?

Matt: So we're on the same studio lot. Big deal. It's not like we're on the same sound stage or anything, it's completely separate from your show. Why would we film on totally separate film studios?

Niki: I suppose. Anyway, there was mixup in casting! Your old lady up there is supposed to be "Rose" in my show. Not yours!

Matt: Oh...well, I think it's working out so I don't know what to tell you.

Peter walks over to Matt.

Peter: Hey, buddy. Got a question. What is that boat over there? (He points off in the distance).

Matt: Oh, that's The Titanic. We built a scale model of the ship for the movie. It was NOT cheap.

Niki: Wait...that's The Titanic? Then what boat are you shooting the movie on?

Matt: Oh, no...in this reboot, the movie actually takes place on the Iceberg.

Niki: Excuse me?

Matt: Yeah! It's a twist! The iceberg hits the ship and IT sinks! Isn't it brilliant?

Niki: That's ridiculous! Why even call the movie "Titanic"?

Matt: Well, I can't call the movie "ICEBERG!" or nobody would know it was a reboot of Titanic.

Niki: It's not if...whatever, I don't care! Just give me back my old woman or die!

Matt: Fine! (Matt calls over some staff) Please escort Eleanor to The Golden Girls set.

The men walk Eleanor off the set of the boat.

Peter: Now who is going to play Rose?

Matt: Not to worry. I always come prepared.

Matt rips off his Captain's suit, revealing the Muumuu he was wearing underneath. He throws on a wig.

Matt: It's time to make History again!

Niki: I need a drink.

Peter and Matt are standing over the railing.

Peter: This is so much fun!

Matt: I know! Nothing can ruin this perfect moment!

The Iceberg makes its way over to The Titanic.

Matt: Here it comes!

Niki and Eleanor get back into the kitchen on The Golden Girls set.

Niki: Finally, we can get back to our show.

Niki walks over and looks out the window. A giant iceberg comes at them at full speed.

Niki: AHHHHHHH!

CRAAAAASH!

Peter: Hey, how about that? We're not sinking after all!

Matt: Icebergs don't sink, silly! See? It's another twist!

Peter: Wow, Matt! You are one HELL of a director!

Matt: That's what I keep telling people.

They look over the railing as their view rapidly turns toward the water.

Peter: Uh...

Matt: Hmm...maybe icebergs CAN sink. Hurry, let's get inside!

Peter and Matt run back in...the Iceberg and Titanic both sink in the water.

Matt wakes up on a giant piece of wood. Peter is submerged, holding onto the edge.

Peter: Rose...you're going to live your life...and have hundreds of babies.

Matt: No way! Babies are gross!

Peter: Don't ever forget me Rose...I'm going to go into the water now...and when I return...I...will be...Aquaman.

Peter slides into the water.

Matt: THAT'S the origin of Aquaman?! Incredible. I should do a movie reboot of that...is there an Aquaman movie out?...(checks his phone)...Next year? Oh, I have plenty of time to get the reboot out before then.

Another piece of wood carrying Niki bumps into Matt.

Niki: Matt...

Matt: Yes, grandma.

Niki: I'm...not even going to begin to wrap my head around any of this was physically possible.

Matt: I had them build your Golden Girls set into the scale model of our Titanic ship on the same studio lot. What's not to get?

Niki: That doesn't even begin to answer all my questions. But...I'm not going to bother trying to figure it out.

Matt: I always say it's best not to. One thing's for sure, the show has absolutely no money left.

Niki: I'm not surprised.

Matt: What happened to your show?

Niki: Everyone made it out...I was wondering why there were life boats in the living room. I sacrificed myself so the others can get to safety.

Elle (also on the piece of wood): Speak for yourself! Those old ladies wouldn't let me on my life boat because (finger quotes) "I tried to poison them". People are so sensitive these days.

Matt: Well, looks like we're here to stay until we get help.

Elle: Fortunately, I brought snacks!

Niki: Oh, awesome. I'm starving.

Niki grabs a piece of "Sperheoven Krispies" and pops it into her mouth. Her eyes roll in the back of her head as she falls over into the water. Matt and Elle are eating away with their noses held.

Matt: Someone can't handle their Scandinavian baked goods.

Elle: I know, right? You know, you and I make a great pair.

Matt: We do, don't we? We should have been King and Queen on that "Chess" show we did.

Elle: We should have! I know! Let's reboot it!

Matt: That's a great idea. I always say TV Reboots are what people want! We're on a roll here! Are there any other shows you can think of that desperately need a reboot?

Elle: Hmm...Got it!

 **Hiro: Previously on Heroes...**

Elle (as Claire): Peter! What are you doing here?

Matt (as Peter): I'm saving the Cheerleader, Claire. I'm saving the world. We're Heroes...

Peter and Niki are watching this as Niki wrings out the water in her hair.

Peter: Aw...that's a good line. I should have said that.

Niki: Why aren't they playing THEIR characters?! Ugh. I need some air.

Niki walks over and opens the window. A giant ship sails up to them at full speed.

Niki: AHHHHHHHHH!

CRRRAAAAASH!

The set of Heroes starts submerging underwater.

Peter: Wow, I wasn't expecting that twist! Matt is one HELL of a director!

Niki: I hate this show. I hate this show. I hate this...blub..blub..blub..blub..blub..blub..blub...

 **Hiro: Previously on Heroes...**

Niki picks up the phone.

Niki: What?

Matt: I need Tracy to come here and help me out with my new job filling in as secretary at Mayor Angela's office.

Niki: UGH!

Rene (aka The Haitian): They're coming.

A van pulls up as Harris clones storm the building.

Niki: We have to find a way out of here!

Niki turns back into Tracy, her and Matt escape. Rene gets captured and brought back to The Kompany.

Claire: MY BABIES! WAAAAAAHHH!

Malina: Oh dear.

Tommy: I second that.

Noah: I made a mistake telling you about your kids. I kept them here in the future to keep them away from Erica Kravid and her evil evil-ness.

Malina: We're old enough now, we can take care of ourselves.

Claire: What she said!

Noah: Okay, but if you're wrong about this, I'm going to hold it over your head forever.

Claire: Fine!

Peter copies Tommy's teleportation ability, as Peter has a better familiarity for it and can harness the power to teleport the team through time, sans Old Angela.

Old Angela: Stop calling me that!

Peter, Claire, Noah, Angela, Tommy and Malina teleport back to Angela's office where the Harris clones are waiting for them.

Noah: Well, Claire, you're wrong about this. I'm going to hold it over your head forever.

Claire: Yippy Skippy.

Joanne Collins meets Molly Walker (who looks quite a bit different than the Molly we are used to) and gives her everything she needs for her trip to Australia to hunt down Sylar.

Erica (on the phone with Molly): Did Joanne Collins make her flight? Good, get back here. We have work to do.

Joanne meets Edgar from Samuel Sullivan's carnival.

Edgar: I can help you catch your prey there. (Pointing to a picture of Sylar).

Joanne realizes that Edgar drugged and carried her (very quickly) to the restaurant, where he knocks Sylar out and takes him to the cab. Joanne joins him in the car.

Joanne: Now that I have my target. I'm killing you and taking him back to the States.

Edgar: Same.

They both realize that Sylar has bolted.

Edgar: How did he get out of the car so fast?

Sylar hides in a back alley. He realizes he obtained the ability to move quickly.

Sylar: I can take people's powers again. And it only took 11 Seasons!

 **Matt and Niki  
Walking down the street. On the corner of Puddles Blvd. And Soaked Clothes Ave.**

Matt: Who names these streets?

A car zooms by, splashing Matt and Niki.

Matt: AHH!

Niki: BLEH! Dammit! I just dried my clothes...and my hair is still wet from your dumb Titanic stunt!

Matt looks over to see Tommy and Malina walking down the street.

Matt: OOH! Hey, look Niki. It's Claire's kids.

Niki: Who's WHAT'S?!

Malina: I don't know, Tommy, we really should go back there and do something.

Tommy: We couldn't let them catch us! I tried to get us all out of there but couldn't grab everyone fast enough.

-Flashback-

Peter (using Tommy's power) teleports Claire, Noah, Angela, Tommy and Malina back into Angela's office. Harris clones are waiting for them.

Claire: Oh...hello.

Harris-88372: Noah.

Noah: Harris.

Harris-88372: I have a name you know.

Noah: How am I supposed to know what clone number you are?

Harris-88372: Anyway...Erica is not going to be pleased.

Noah: I don't care! That woman has ran a company that I personally built from the ground up.

Angela: Uh...No you didn't!

Noah: Pretty sure I did...anyway, she's using it to conduct her evil deeds. I will not be silent any more! I will bring this Company down!

Harris-88372: We'll see about that. Take them away.

Harris-88372 nods to one of the other Harris clones. Ten of the clones start firing tranquiler darts. Tommy manages to grab Malina's hand and teleport out of the room.

-End Flashback-

Matt and Niki walk up to Tommy and Malina.

Matt: Hey kids!

Niki: Can you go back and explain when Claire had children?!

Malina: Gasp! Strangers!

Tommy: No need to worry, sister, I recognize these two. You're Matt Parkman and this is Niki Sanders.

Matt: Look at that! They already know who we are...no need for long drawn out introductions.

Tommy: Sure, you guys are in these...

Tommy is wearing a backpack, he pulls out some "9th Wonders Comics".

Matt: Got to hand it to Isaac Mendez, dude knew how to draw...look, here is the exact scene where the four of us are meeting right now!...Dang, how far in time did he go on these?!

Tommy: Angela had some of these at her house for us to read while we were growing up in the future.

Niki: Aaaand I'm lost.

Matt: I say we all get together and catch up on this first meeting over some grub.

At a nearby diner.

Matt: I've heard so many things about this place. It's the most reviewed diner on "Welp".

Niki: Don't you mean "Yelp"?

Matt: Nope! "Welp" is a review service where everyone only talks about the cities worst places to eat, shop...

Niki: That sounds unnecessary.

Malina: We're kinda in a hurry! We came back from the future with our mom, Peter, Noah and Angela and a bunch of clones kidnapped them.

Niki: The Harris clones? We just escaped from them as well. Our friend Rene also got captured as well, they're all probably heading to The Kompany.

Matt: You came back with them? How did you get out?

Tommy: I have the ability to teleport myself or objects to other places. I haven't perfected it yet.

Malina: And I have the ability to control the elements!

Matt: Man, that is so cool. I can only read minds. Bah!

Tommy: That's right, I remember reading about you...so you probably already knew what our powers are.

Matt: ….uh...

Niki: He doesn't...well, most of us...don't use our powers much. It's a show budget thing.

Malina: What is your power, Niki?

Niki: I get mad and punch things!

Tommy (flipping through the comic): Yeah, pretty much.

Matt: Now that we got to know you two, we'll talk about ourselves a bit (points to himself and Niki). We first met a long time ago...it was a swanky night club...

Niki: They don't care about that. And for the record we first met when I threw you out a window as Jessica. Those were good days.

Matt: Nope! You must not remember, it was before that.

-Flashback-

Niki is standing at the bar in the night club. Matt walks up to her.

Matt: Hey there! Aren't you The Horse from "Horsin' Around"?

PUNCH!

-End Flashback-

PUNCH!

Matt: OW! Why did you hit me!?

Niki: Just using my ability.

Niki smirks as she slyly takes a sip from her cup.

Tommy: They...haven't brought us drinks yet.

Niki eyes shift as she continues to hold the cup to her mouth. She starts making imaginary slurp noises.

Niki: …...*sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrr...

Tommy and Malina: …...

Niki: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Matt: …...

Niki: rrrrrrrrrrrrrp! MMMMMM!

The waitress walks up.

Niki: This coffee is delicious! May I please have some more?

Waitress: We don't serve coffee.

Tommy, Malina, and Matt look at Niki, who slowly brings her cup back to her mouth.

Niki: …...*sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

 **Claire, Noah, Peter and Angela  
The Kompany  
Evil lurks...as thunder and lightning roar across the skies.**

Harris-4: CRACKLE! CRACKLE! BOOM! CHICKA! POP!

Erica: What did I tell you about the sound effects!

Harris-4: Okay, I'll go back and practice.

Erica sits in her giant chair (with a golden "K" emblazoned on the back) and spins around to see Claire, Noah, Peter, and Angela in restraints.

Erica: Who let you in my office?!

Noah: You kidnapped us!

Erica: Oh, right, of course. Noah...you've been a problem employee as of late.

Noah: This Company used to be mine before you bought it out from under me.

Erica: I don't recall you having a choice. Now with powers out in the open due to your daughter flinging herself off the Ferris Wheel like a ninny...

Claire: I gracefully landed flat on my face, thank you very much!

Erica: ...The business of secretly performing super secret operations secretly on evolved humans became pointless. I don't understand how you even made money.

Peter: Duh, it was really a Paper Company. PrimaTech Paper! That's how you made all your money!

Noah: Oh, come on, Peter! That was a farce. It's 2017. Nobody uses paper anymore!

Peter: Tell that to my phone books!...(he leans over to Claire)...They still make phone books, right?

Erica: It's true, they don't. If I need to make a quick note, I don't have to bother with something as primitive and useless as Post-It Notes. These "Post It-iPads" do the trick just fine with how far technology has come!

Erica pulls out a stack of "Post It-iPads" and rips the top one off. She powers it on, types a note.

Erica: See! This is the modern age of technology.

She crumples up the iPad and throws it in the trash.

Noah: That stack alone has to be worth tens of thousands of dollars.

Claire: Did she just wad up that iPad with her hands?!

Erica: I've had enough of what you are trying to do. Where are the twins?! They were not with you.

Noah: Twins...what twins? I don't know of any twins.

Erica: You can't possibly think I'm going to fall for that, do you?

Noah: …..Yeah, nobody ever does. I don't know why I said that.

Voice: I know exactly where they are.

Everyone turns their attention to Molly, who walks into the office.

Erica: Right on time, Molly. I don't need to question you creeps any further.

Claire: Who the hell is THAT?!

Erica: You don't recognize the one, the only...Molly Walker?

Peter, Claire, Noah and Angela all exchange looks.

Angela: That...isn't Molly Walker.

Erica: What are you talking about?! Of course it is! Her powers to find ANY evolved human will be the linchpin in my wonderful plan to save this company...and save the world!

Noah: What happened to the real Molly Walker? That is not her! We would know...the cast uses her regularly to advance the plot because nobody wants to actually go out and find anybody anymore.

Erica: Nonsense. Molly?

Molly: Yes, Ms. Kravid?

Erica: Find...Peter Petrelli!

Molly points to Peter who is twenty feet away from Erica's desk.

Erica: There!

Peter: WOW! THAT'S AMAZING!

Noah: WHAT!? NO! I don't know what your plan is with the twins, the real Molly, or whatever, but you're going down!

Erica: Fine! Go ahead. Stop me.

Noah: ….uh...well...I can't now!...But I will.

Erica: Hmm...okay then. Harrises! Take them to Kompany Jail.

Harris clones come up and start to drag them away.

Peter: Not if I can do something about...

Erica: Don't bother using your powers, they're ineffective here.

Peter: Well, nuts. I'm out of ideas.

The four of them get taken away, Erica turns back to her chair, which now reads:

 **Chapter Four "The Kurtain Rises"**

Erica: Who keeps writing crap on my chair!? These things aren't cheap, you know!

 **Joanne Collins and Edgar  
Australia  
Where in Australia is Sylar Sandiego?**

Sylar: This hat is...perfect!

Sylar looks at the body length red coat and large red hat as he poses in the mirror.

Sylar: I won't be recognized at all in this!

Sylar zooms over to the door while the clerk doesn't notice. He takes one step outside.

Joanne: THERE HE IS!

Sylar: Crap!

Sylar speeds away.

Joanne (running up): UGH! There is no way we're going to be able to catch him like this!

Edgar runs up...panting.

Joanne: What's wrong with you, mister "I can carry MY unconscious body to a restaurant without anybody noticing but running a few blocks gets me all puffy"?

Edgar (panting): We...have...a...problem...

Joanne: Well wheeze it out already!

Edgar: He took my ability...

Joanne: We already established that.

Edgar: No..."took" took it...he didn't just copy it. He really took it. I can't move quickly anymore.

Joanne: I knew he took peoples abilities but I thought he just copied them?

Edgar: Not anymore apparently. He has it...and if he doesn't have a limit...he can take anybody's.

Joanne: …...I must have that coat.

Joanne looks at the "Carmen Sandiego Coat" on a mannequin and enters the shop.

Clerk: Oh, I'm sorry. I could have sworn I let someone try that on and then it vanished! Like someone had super speed and left with it! Too bad!

Joanne: Can't I just have THAT one? (She points to the mannequin).

Clerk: I'm sorry. That's the display model. It's not for sale.

Joanne: You're FACE is the display model! Good day!

Joanne leaves in a huff.

Clerk (to another Clerk): What does that even mean?

The other clerk shrugs.

Joanne: …...Oh, the hunt is definitely on.

Edgar (on the ground, in a puddle of his own drool): Uuuggggghhhhhh...

 **= = = = = = = = = =  
(HEROES)  
= = = = = = = = = = **

Claire is sitting in a Kompany jail cell with Peter, Noah is in a cell adjacent to them with Angela.

Claire: Ugh...what do you think they're going to do to us? Keep us here forever?

Peter: It's not so bad! At least we have a T.V.

TV: Next Time...On the next thrilling episode of "Cher-lock Holmes".

Cher (dancing at a crime scene, singing): _If I could turn back criiiiiiiime!_

Claire: UGH! The studios use my "Claire Voyance" movie scripts to line their ferret cages, but shows like THIS get a pass!? What the actual hell?!

Peter: Well, for starters, you're NOT Cher...

Claire: Obviously.

Peter: And second, this show is amazing. Though in every episode she does dance and sing the same song at the crime scene. And the culprit is always "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves". I've tolerated it so far but I feel the quality has started to slide in the thirteenth season.

Claire: THIRTEEN!?

Noah (to Angela): I'm really bothered by this "Molly" walking around. It's obviously not the same one.

Angela: Even if it isn't, it's kinda odd that she would have the same ability.

Noah: I'm not convinced if her "display" in Erica's office is anything to go on. What does she want with the twins...what is she planning?

Voice: I can tell you.

Noah looks at Angela as he gets up and goes over to the bars in his cell.

Noah: I recognize that voice...

Angela: Is that...Bob?

Bob Bishop is in the cell on the other side of Noah and Angela's.

Elsewhere...

Matt: Now that Niki burned down that last restaurant and we somehow managed to escape police custody, let's turn our attention to this new place I found. Thanks, "Welp!"

Niki: Stop taking us to crappy restaurants! We have important things to do. Claire, Noah, Angela and Peter are kidnapped by Kompany goons and we have to get them out of there. Rene is also in trouble!

Matt: You're right! But in order to save our friends we'll need to have our full strength. Let us dine!

Malina: What is an "Indian Taco"?

Matt: Oh, they're amazing! It's a big thing of fried bread, with pretty much whatever you want on it. Beef, cheese, sour cream. It's pretty much a Taco Salad on top of a heavenly fry pillow.

Malina: That sounds delicious!

Tommy: I'm game!

Niki: Whatever, anything that'll get us back on the road.

The waiter walks over.

Matt: Four of your finest "Indian Tacos", my good man!

Waiter: Sorry, these menus are old. We're trying a new "Carb-Concious" menu.

Matt: A Carb-What-cious menu?!

Waiter: Our new Indian Tacos begin with a lettuce base...

Matt: Uh huh.

Waiter: With a leaf of lettuce on top.

Matt: ….Uh huh.

Waiter: With a few scoops of ground lettuce.

Matt: Uh huh.

Waiter: With a little sprinklings of lettuce.

Matt: Mmm hmm...

Waiter: Scoop a dollop of more lettuce.

Matt: Mmmm...

Waiter: With some our finest lettuce dressing on top.

Matt: ….yup.

Waiter: With a side of lettuce.

Matt: ….ah! That's nice.

Niki: So...it's...a salad. Can't get more Carb-Concious than that.

Matt: …...

Matt, Niki, Tommy and Malina are walking away from the burning restaurant.

Niki: MATT! I can't believe you did that!

Matt: I'm sorry, Niki. They only sold LETTUCE! LETT!...UCE! I won't have it. I WONT HAVE IT!

Niki: Geez! Calm down! Look, we don't have time for this! We need to get to the Kompany.

Malina: Guys...look!

Matt and Niki turn around to see The Kompany Van driving up the road.

Niki: Hide!

They run behind a nearby dumpster as the van passes them by.

Tommy: Hey, I have an idea! I know how we can find The Kompany.

Matt (to Niki): Shouldn't we know where it is? We've been there before. Pretty sure everyone in the principle cast has worked there at some point.

Niki: I checked. It moved. The old Company was turned into a Marshmallow Outlet Store.

Matt: Wha...

Niki: Don't ask what it is.

Matt: No, I'm saying why don't I know about this and why am I not there right now?

Tommy: I can find out where the new Kompany is by stowing away on the van.

Niki: I don't know, Tommy. Is that safe? It might be filled with Harris clones.

Tommy: Nah, I'll be fine. I'll find out where it is then come back.

Malina: Be careful, Tommy. We have to save mom and the others, we can't afford to be putting ourselves in more danger.

An explosion from across the street sends the group to the ground.

Niki: ACK! What was that about?!

Matt: That fast food place across the street, I went over there and paid two dollars for this coke and they gave me fifty cents and told me to use the vending machine across the street! Has this town gone MAD!?

Niki: Stop blowing up businesses!

Matt: You started it.

Tommy: I'm gonna go.

Tommy puts a hand on his shoulder and teleports, he lands on the back bumper of the van and hangs on as it continues driving down the street.

Niki: Now we wait. We will save our friends.

Another building explodes. Niki and Matt hit the ground.

Niki: AHHH! MATT!

Matt: I didn't do it!

Malina: All I wanted was a chocolate shake from that place over there. They said they were doing a "Dairy Alternative" and just made the shake with "powdered water".

Matt: Oh, then that was totally justified. I've taught you everything I know, young grasshopper.

Niki slaps Matt.

Matt: OW!

Niki: Stop being a bad influence!...What the HELL is "Powdered Water"?!

Matt: Powder you add water to in order to make water. Everybody knows that, Niki.

Niki: That makes absolutely zero sense.

Joanne and Edgar are sitting in the back of a cab.

Joanne: So the person who was my target is now running around the city with YOUR ability to move very quickly in small amounts of time and you no longer have this power. I don't know how I'm going to catch him.

Edgar: Sucks to be you, I guess.

Joanne: You know, none of this would have happened if your dumb butt didn't get involved with my business. If you weren't here, he wouldn't have an ability to steal, and the two of us would be back on a plane.

Edgar: But then I wouldn't have him in MY custody and my mission would fail.

Joanne: I don't care about your mission! I'm trying to save my son, what are you working for?

Edgar: I'm also trying to save...

Joanne: Save...?

Edgar: ….money. I'm doing this for money. If I can complete this mission I will have lots of money.

Joanne: And our conversation has now become pointless because I just won it.

Edgar: What are you trying to save your son from anyway? So he has an ability. Big deal.

Joanne: Big deal?! BIG DEAL!? It IS a big deal! He was supposed to have a normal life and now you people come along and gave him this curse, now he'll be hunted or who knows what else.

Edgar: Did it ever occur to you that maybe some of us feel the same way?

Joanne: What are you talking about?

Edgar: People with abilities didn't GIVE them to your son. Like we don't know who gave them to us. Humans have evolved and some have them, some don't. Nobody really knows how we got these so we have no one to blame for them. We're kinda in the same boat.

Joanne: So, because of evolution, people are now starting to lo-and behold. Get powers?

Edgar: A lot of them do. A lot of people remain in the shadows, even with powers being out in the open now. You're kind of dangerous and nuts. I don't see you having a problem protecting him until he's old enough to decide to live a life and keep his ability to himself, or embrace it and use it for good. Or evil. Whatever it is he's into.

Joanne: Well, once I get Sylar that won't be an issue. Why does the you're working for want him so badly?

Edgar: Obviously he wants the opposite of what your boss wants. Though I wonder, who is the good guy/bad guy in this scenario?

Joanne: Hmm...human evolution. Why would my son just randomly get powers?

Edgar: It's a possibility...though the chances are greater if the gene got passed down through him.

Joanne: …...! What did you just say?

Edgar: Hmm? Oh, people with abilities usually pass down the evolutionary gene through their bloodline.

Joanne: But I don't have any abilities!

Edgar: Okay.

Joanne: But…..Luke does...

Edgar: There we go. I take it Luke is your husband? If he doesn't have powers that doesn't necessarily mean anything. He could have gotten it further down the family...

Joanne: Yes. I see...I understand everything now. I'm just going to have to kill Luke when I get home.

Edgar: Oh geez.

The cab slams on its brakes and Edgar and Joanne go flying forward into the back of the front seats.

Edgar: OOF!

Joanne: OWWW! What's the big idea?

Edgar and Joanne look ahead to see Sylar, standing in the street in front of him.

Sylar: It's time we had a chat!

Joanne: Ugh...I want that coat!

Meanwhile, back at Kompany Jail.

Angela: Bob! What happened?

Bob: We've been through a lot since we came back from the future. Since I arrived in the new universe...I was almost instantly kidnapped by Erica Kravid.

Noah: Why does she want you?

Bob: She doesn't want me...she wants Elle.

Noah: Elle?! Why would they want her? Did they kidnap you because they thought you knew where she was?

Bob: Not exactly. Elle isn't an easy person to track down and catch. Erica must have something up her sleeve to lure her here.

Angela: What is all this about?

Bob: Well, now that powers are out in the open, the world is out of control. Claire flinging herself off that Ferris Wheel like a ninny...

Claire: Landed gracefully on my face! Don't know how many times I have to say that!

Peter: Keep it down! I haven't seen this episode of "Cher-Lock Holmes"...oh wait, yes I have. This episode SHE'S actually the murderer, but they sweep it under the rug because she's just "the best damn detective on the force"!

Claire: RUIN IT, WHY DON'T YOU!?

Bob: She thinks Elle's power...

Angela: Electricity?

Bob: ...The power of Claire's twins...

Noah: I knew we shouldn't have brought them back.

Bob: Molly Walker...

Angela: Don't get us started on that.

Bob: And a man who can take people's abilities.

Angela: Well, Arthur's dead so...-GASP!-...you don't think they mean...Peter?

Noah: Peter can only copy abilities and only can hold one at a time. I don't think she'd have much use for that.

Bob: No...She wants Sylar.

Noah: …..

Angela: …..

Noah and Angela bust out laughing.

Noah and Angela: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!...

Noah: You're kidding, right? He hasn't been able to gain abilities in years!

Bob: He can now.

Noah: Oh, well now that's serious.

Angela: I wasn't done laughing!

Bob: He can actually take them from people...and rumor has it without limits.

Angela: My god...it's like Erica Kravid plays a major role in everybody's story lines!

Noah: This is ridiculous! What is the connection between the twins, Elle, Molly, and Sylar? What is this evil plan supposed to accomplish?

Bob: She apparently has a team of game developers working on a game that is a part of a hit franchise. The game will use the internet to function. But what the developers are unaware of is that the game is just a ruse...it is actually a virus that will unleash and spread across the world. Infecting computers, phones, tablets, televisions...and...Apple Watches!

Angela: NOT THE APPLE WATCHES!

Bob: If anybody is looking at a screen when the virus releases, it will display a visual pattern that will lock whoever looks upon it...they will become vulnerable to attack.

Noah: What kind of attack?

Bob: Using the twins powers of elemental shifting and teleportation, evolved human location, ability removal, and electricity to power their brains to amplify their power. They will be able to power a device that is capable of removing an ability from anyone in the world who is under the hypnotic effect of the visual digital virus.

Noah: What happens if someone who doesn't have an ability get caught looking at the virus.

Bob: Oh, nothing. They'll just get a slight headache...little blurred vision...death.

Noah: DEATH!? That's a bit of a drastic jump, don't you think!?

Angela: NOT THE APPLE WATCHES!

Noah: What does she plan on doing with people abilities she's stealing?

Bob: Give them back...for a price.

Angela: She's stealing people's abilities in order to make money off of it?!

Bob: Yeah.

Noah: That's...bonkers.

Angela: How do YOU know all this?

Bob: She told me.

Noah: Why would she tell you all that!?

Bob: She's the villain. It's what they do.

Noah (to Angela): Yeah, Villains do have a bad habit of explaining their entire plan to the protagonists.

Angela: We have to find a way out of here and stop this.

Noah looks over to Claire and Peter in their cell.

Noah: Were you two even listening?

Peter and Claire are engrossed with the T.V.

Cher-Lock Holmes: _Do you believe in Life after Prison, Michael?_

Michael: Yes! I do!

Cher-Lock: Because I found the real killer. I've cleared your name and you're going home.

Michael: Thank you, Cher-Lock! Who is the monster who framed me and put me here?

Cher-Lock (singing): Why it was... _Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves! We'd hear it from the people in the towwwn..._

Michael: I freaking knew it!

Peter: See, even the supporting cast knows that every episode is the same.

Claire: This show is garbage but I can't stop watching it!

Outside, the van pulls into the parking lot. Tommy makes note of where the building is located and teleports. He warps back to the other side of the city where Matt, Niki and Malina await.

Tommy: Hey guys, I know where the...why is half the city in flames?

Matt: Yeah...NIKI!

Niki: ME?! You two blew up more buildings than I did!

Malina: The people at The Burrito Barn not only put onions in my burrito when I said "No Onions", but they deliberately stuffed them at the BOTTOM of the burrito to guarantee I would get nothing but onions in the final bite and ruin my entire burrito experience!

Matt: I've been there, sister!

Niki: Unbelievable.

Matt: Well, at least she politely had the building evacuated before blowing it up. YOU on the other hand...

Niki: The clerk at the clothing store suggested I go shop for clothes at "Old Navy: SASQUATCH EDITION"! That's not even clever! Or a real place! They deserved to be punished!

Tommy: Guys?

Niki: Tommy! Did you find the building?

Tommy: Yeah, I can get take us there.

Niki: Excellent! Let's go save this city!

The building behind them blows up.

Niki: AHHHHHH! MATT!

Matt: I didn't do it!

Niki: …...(she looks around)...oh right, that was me. Sorry.

Matt: HA! You blew up more buildings than I did!

Niki: It was a former "Blockbuster Video". I was frustrated because I forgot they went out of business...and since they did go out of business it doesn't count.

Malina: She's right. Which means you caused more destruction, Matt.

Matt: Ah, rats!

Tommy: Guys?

Matt: Why were you renting a video anyway? The internet has evolved, Niki. You can now ask people online to go to movie stores and rent things for you.

Niki: The internet is terrible at my place. That and I wanted to rent the latest Julia Roberts movie...she's my inspiration to become the next World's Greatest Actress!

Matt: You've come a long way from shopping at Old Navy: Sasquatch Edition.

Niki: Don't make me destroy you.

Tommy: HEY!

Niki: Oh, sorry, mission! I forgot!

Tommy teleports the group away.

Meanwhile, Sylar suddenly appears in the cab with Edgar and Joanne.

Joanne: What happened to the cab driver?

Sylar: I sent him away.

Joanne: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

Edgar: What...why would you think?...Huh?

Sylar: You two are after me. I want to know why. (He points to Joanne). Go!

Joanne: It's none of your business!

Sylar: Theeeeennn...I run away forever and you fail your mission.

Joanne: Fine! I'll tell you. (She looks at Edgar) But not in front of him.

Sylar: …..Okay!

Edgar suddenly disappears.

Sylar: Aaaaaand...Go!

Joanne: I've been hired by a woman named Erica Kravid to hunt you down and bring you back to her.

Sylar: Why?

Joanne: I don't know what she wants with you. But she said if I accomplished this she would remove my son's abilities. I was skeptical at first, but when I read in your file that you could take people's abilities...

Sylar: Technically. More or less copy them...but I'd kill the original owner...so I GUESS you could say I take them.

Joanne: But...if you could remove abilities as easily as you could Edgar's...maybe you could help me. Maybe you can remove my son and husband's abilities?!

Sylar: ...Hmm...I suppose that's true. But why would I help you?

Joanne: I'm just desperate to go back to having a normal family. You can do whatever you want with your powers, and neither my husband or son would have them. They would no longer be ostracized or hunted. We both would win.

Sylar: And I would have extra powers...but I don't know if I could have more than one. I could have gotten the "Peter" treatment from the writers and have a limit.

Joanne: Come with me back to my home. And we can test it!

Sylar: …..Won't your boss be upset that you didn't follow orders? They may send people after your family...which will send you back to square one.

Joanne: …...crap. I didn't think of that.

Sylar: Who is this Erica Kravid anyway? Why does she care about me or my ability?

Joanne: All I know if that she works for this Kompany place.

Sylar: She's head of The Company now?

Joanne: Kompany with a "K".

Sylar: I don't like that. Very interesting.

Joanne: The only reason I was able to find you because of some chick who was able to locate you anywhere.

Sylar: ….Molly. Of course. I forgot everyone on the principle cast uses her to move the plot along. This is very interesting.

Joanne: …..

Sylar: After Claire sent the world to hell by flinging herself off that Ferris Wheel like a ninny, I was swearing I was going to do good...I was going to be a good guy.

Joanne: Being good is no fun.

Sylar: It really isn't. I tried to be good but was still hated by people...it's like they feared me because I killed so many people...which I did.

Joanne: I've been there, sister.

Sylar: Maybe I can still be good. If I had all the power. It's not the powers you have...it's how you use them.

Joanne: Uh huh, whatever. So will you help me or not?

Sylar: Let's visit this family of yours and test my theory...then if it does...I'll take down The Company myself.

Joanne: The Kompany.

Sylar: I'm not calling it that! I guess I'll just have to use THIS.

Sylar pulls out his "Change One Thing Permanently On The Show" card.

Sylar: Done!

Joanne: That's...not a real thing, right? Of all the things you can change...

Sylar: Let's get down to business. I decided to go with you...

Joanne: Hooray!

Sylar: ...which is what I'll say if I actually decide to work with you. Now I have to hear Edgar's case.

Joanne: Rats!

Sylar: Bye now!

Joanne suddenly disappears and Edgar is back in the car.

Edgar: Uh...okay, I'm back here now. That is kind of annoying.

Sylar: Hello.

Edgar: I don't like this...give me back my power.

Sylar: I don't know how...and even if I did I probably wouldn't. I decided to be a good guy by stealing all the powers in the world.

Edgar: That's unsettling.

Sylar: But before I end up going with Joanne...I want to hear your case. Why are you after me?

Edgar: I was hired by someone to bring you back.

Sylar: Someone...someone...

Edgar: That's it. Someone.

Sylar: Joanne gave me a name. You're kinda losing to her, pal.

Edgar: Just come back with me and he'll explain.

Sylar: Hmm...gotta give me a little more.

Edgar: Ugh...fine...I'm working for Micah Sanders.

Sylar: Well, well, well...this has gotten interesting. What does Micah want with me?

Edgar: He wants to stop you from doing whatever it is you're going to help Ms. Collins with.

Sylar: So...I go with Joanne...which will eventually lead me down the path to get tons of abilities. Or work with Micah...and...don't? Man, you're a lousy salesperson.

Edgar: I'm sure he's got something in it for you, he's not the type of person to just leave you in the cold. He just wants your help. He's kinda in some trouble and his friend Molly's gone missing.

Sylar: I...wait...Molly Walker?

Edgar: Yes...she's been missing for a while now. He wants to find her.

Sylar: And he wants MY help with that?...Hold on a sec...

Sylar swaps Edgar for Joanne.

Joanne: ACK!

Sylar: You mentioned you found out where I was from "Molly"?

Joanne: Yeah, crazy red headed girl. She made me mistake someone else for her at the airport and I had to arrange for that person to get hit by a bus which THE BUS COMPANY STILL HASN'T CALLED ME BACK ON AND CONFIRMED THAT!

Sylar: Do you...have a picture of this girl?

Joanne (sarcastic): Oh, sure, let me just pull up The Company's business page on Facebook and...oh wait, it actually exists.

Joanne shows Sylar her phone.

Joanne: That's her.

Sylar looks at the woman who looks nothing like Molly.

Sylar: What the...THIS...is Molly?

Joanne: Yeah, that's who told me you were here.

Sylar: …...Okay, I made up my mind.

Joanne and Edgar are now in the car.

Sylar: Congratulations. I decided not to throw one of you into the ocean.

Edgar: You were going to throw one of us into the ocean?

Sylar: Sure was! But now...I have a different plan. I've decided...to come with BOTH of you.

Joanne: What?! How does that work? We both want different things and are working for different people!

Sylar: But I want the same thing...it will actually be my first foray into being a good guy. I will help you both...I will completely get what I want out of it...and the bad guys will lose. Everyone will win.

Joanne: I don't like this.

Edgar: I really don't like this.

Sylar: I love this! But in order for this to work...the three of us will have to work together.

Joanne and Edgar lower their weapons.

Sylar: Now...let's get to that airport.

Sylar brings the cab driver back.

Sylar: To the airport, my good man!

Sylar sits back. Joanne and Edgar exchange looks.

Tommy, Malina, Matt and Niki are outside The Company.

Tommy: Here we are.

Matt: Okay, let's be smart about this. Tommy will teleport us in there...then we run around and scream until we find the others.

Niki: Brilliant plan. (eyeroll)

Tommy: One problem though...

Niki: What is it?

Tommy: I can't teleport in there...I'm...getting a block. There must be some sort of ability blocking...thing surrounding the building.

Niki: Because OF COURSE THERE IS!

Matt: If there's an ability blocking thing...how do those Harris Clone Things work?

Niki: That's actually a good question, Matt...and you don't normally ask good questions.

Matt: Like "How many licks does it take to get to the center of THE STICK of a Tootsie Pop"? Let's see...ONE!

Matt throws the stick in his mouth and immediately starts choking.

Matt: GUUUUURK!

Matt collapses.

Niki: Yeah, like that. Okay...well, we can't just barge in, especially if our powers are going to be disabled. We may need to go back to the drawing board.

At a nearby restaurant.

Matt: Thanks for dragging me to this restaurant so I can get something to wash down that Tootsie Roll Pop stick I had lodged in my throat. Kinda wish it didn't go down sideways though. That's not going to be a fun ride.

Niki: Gross. Anyway, let's start planning our strategy.

Tommy (to the Waitress): One chocolate milk, please!

The waitress hands Tommy a glass of milk with a Butterfinger bar in it.

Waitress: You have to stir it until it becomes chocolate like.

Tommy: …...

The restaurant explodes.

Tommy (turning to the others): Sorry, it had to be done.

Matt (tearing up): They're growing up so fast!

Niki slaps Matt's arm.

Matt: OW!

Niki: Stop being a bad influence!

Matt: Stop slapping me in the same spot!

Claire: WHAT HAPPENED!?

Claire and Peter are still watching TV in jail.

Peter: That was the last episode of "Cher-Lock Holmes", now we have to wait until next season.

Claire: AHHH! I won't be able to make it.

Voice: Dinner time!

Peter and Claire look over to see West carrying their dinner.

Claire: What the...West?!

West: Hey Claire! I brought you your dinner!

Claire: You work here?!

West: Yeah, I'm working at Janice Parkman's Law Firm and went undercover to try and take down The Company. I ran away once I learned the secret that the employees here are forced to work here against their will. Even if they try to leave, they always come back.

Earlier...

Janice (looking over some files): This is good. This is a good start. We can go full force with the operation when you start tomorrow.

West: Yeah, I'm not liking the sound of what they got going on there.

Janice: We'll stop them, I'm sure of it. Wanna grab some dinner?

West: Sure! I skipped lunch when I ran out of the building screaming.

Janice and West are driving in her car to get something to eat.

Janice: So they release a gas that rejuvenates your body and acts like it's the start of a new day? That's insane!

West: YES! Who knows what else they do to those employees, but we definitely have a case. We have GOT to take them down Jan...

The clock strikes 5:00pm on Janice's radio. West unbuckles his seat belt, opens his car door, and falls out into the street. Janice slams on her brakes.

Janice: AHHHH! WHAT THE!?

West hops to his feet and takes off running in the opposite direction, suddenly taking flight as he makes his way back to The Company.

Janice: West!...WEST!...Could have at least closed my door...don't want any of those exploding cats making their way in here.

Janice adjusts her rear view mirror to see a cat in the back seat.

Cat: MEOW!

POP!

Janice: AHHHH! GOD! I HATE THAT!

Janice turns the car around and heads toward back The Company.

West: And now I work here.

Claire: ….You...sound okay with this.

West: That's how it works! I'm programmed to be okay with this.

Claire: That's not creepy at all! West...you have to snap out of it. This can't be good for you.

West: It's not. But I'm okay with it! That's the beauty of the rejuvenation gas and the chip that was installed in me.

Peter: I...i...installed?!

West: Yeah, I didn't learn that until I got back. I have so much to learn. Well, I have get back to working on the game. Everything will be over once development is complete.

Claire: What game? What do you mean "Everything will be over"? What's going on?

West walks away. Claire looks at Peter.

Claire: Peter...

Peter: Yeah...

Claire: You know what we have to do, Peter...We have to tattle to our parents!

Peter: RIGHT!

Claire and Peter run over to the bars.

Claire: DAD!

Peter: MOM!

Noah and Angela are watching TV.

Noah: SHHH!

Angela: Why is Cher a detective anyway? Why did she stop singing?

Noah: She still sings at the crime scenes...oh, you mean her career? Eh, I'm sure they'll explain that in the second season.

Claire (to Peter): Who just casually watches TV while important plot stuff is being explained to them?

Peter: Yeah...totally irresponsible.

 **To Be Continued**


	5. Monster Hunters

**The Heroes Parody Project  
Season 6  
Chapter 5**

 **Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.**

Claire is sitting in a bubble bath, she is talking on the phone.

Claire (on phone): ...and what's worse is that they didn't even BOTHER to read my script. How am I going to make "Claire Voyance" a household name if nobody will green light my seventh movie? Or least support the animated series? I even tried to make a deal with Netflix and told them they could put it in the " _Just In Case Every Button On Your Remote Breaks Except For 'PLAY_ '" section! Hold on, I just finished shaving my legs, I need to check and make sure I didn't miss a spot.

Claire lifts up a leg out of the water, it's completely covered in thick fur.

Claire: EWWW! I missed a full leg?! How did THAT happen?! (She gets back on the phone) Anyway, what do you think I should do?

Matt looks up to see Niki walking into his house. She walks up to him and crams her phone in his face.

Matt: ERRFFF!

Niki: You take over.

Matt: Okay!

Matt grabs the phone.

Matt (in his deepest voice): _Niki Sanders Speaking!_

Claire: ….anyway. I guess I'm just going to have to keep working on this silly show until I find my big break.

Matt: Hold on, Claire, I need to turn on the tv...this is Niki by the way.

Claire: I KNOW IT ISN'T!

Matt: Hiro's new show is about to start!

Claire: What new show?

Matt: He filmed a pilot that got picked up for a full ten season series run. That really shows confidence on the studio's part.

Claire: Wait! Hiro is on a new show?! Why am I just hearing of this?

Matt: SHH! It's on. Let's watch.

Claire: I'm kinda in the bathtub.

Matt: Don't you have a tv mount in your bathroom. I do in mine.

Claire: Oh, wait. I do! That just comes with the territory of being so rich and famous!

Claire presses a button nearby, a television falls from the ceiling, plunging into the bathtub.

Claire: AHHHH!

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!

Claire (wearing a towel) runs out of the bathroom and into the living room, her hair is sticking out in all directions. She turns on the TV.

Peaceful piano music starts to play.

Hiro is loading a piece of paper into a typewriter and begins to type.

 **Murder,**

Hiro rides through the neighborhood on a bicycle, waving.

Hiro, decked out in fishing gear, walks along a dock, carrying equipment.

Hiro continues to type.

 **He wrote.**

Hiro is gardening, jogging, and holding his fingers like a 'gun' as he analyzes the crime scene.

Typing.

Hiro holds up a flashlight. He types some more.

Hiro pulls out the paper from the typewriter.

 **Hiro Nakamura**

 **Starring In**

Hiro stacks his papers together and closes a binder that says

 **Murder, Hiro-te.**

Claire: MURDER, HIRO-TE!?

On TV. Hiro is investigating a crime scene.

Hiro: Out of all my years of investigating murders, this one is the murderiest. What do you think, Psychic Foot Model, Claire Voyance?

Claire: WHAT?!

Elle swishes her hair dramatically.

Elle: You gosh darn tootin', Murder, Hiro-te!

Hiro: You know the full title of the show isn't my name, right?

Elle: One thing's for sure, though. The game...

Elle kicks her shoe off and sticks out her leg.

Elle: ...IS AFOOT!

The Police Chief walks up.

Chief: You've done it again, Claire Voyance. This city is forever in your debt.

Elle: They are, aren't they?

Hiro: Wait, what?

Chief: I present to you...The Key To The City.

Elle: Thanks! I'm going to steal so much crap!

The chief and the townspeople applaud Elle as she walks away.

Hiro: UH...we haven't solved the murder yet! HELLO!?

Everyone leaves.

Hiro: Ugh, that's it! I'm working alone from now on. Every time I bring in a consultant, they end up taking credit for the case. Not anymore! I need to get some of my street cred back...I know! I'll commit the murders, then SOLVE them! Wait, that won't work. Not going down THAT rabbit hole again!

Hiro looks at the Cameraman.

Hiro: Why are you still filming this?!

Claire: That's it! I'm done! "Claire Voyance" is dead. Now to move onto my next big hit. But first, need to see what shows I can get inspiration from. Then steal their ideas and hope they don't notice!

Claire grabs the remote and presses the power button. A TV falls from the ceiling and crashes next to Claire.

Claire: AHHHH! Good grief...how many tv's do I have up there?!

 **Mohinder: Previously on Heroes...**

Death: I will let you, Nathan, and your friends go. But not without you paying the price.

He grabs his wrist and makes him the new Grim Reaper.

Nathan: Well, there goes my recurring guest spot on "Murder, Hiro-te".

Hiro: Reset Button!

Peter: It's a Brave New World, Claire. The world is aware of abilities thanks to your silly stunt at Samuel Sullivan's Carnival.

Claire: Whoops.

Noah: Claire, you have children. Tommy and Malina, we're protecting them from being captured by letting them grow up with Old Angela in the future. Now I expect us to end the conversation at that, and not have you go off and do something stupid like ask follow up questions or travel through time to go get them.

Claire (leaving): Bye dad, going to go time travel about something else!

Noah: Ugh, why does that always happen!?

Claire: Peter! We have to go save my children! We have to go Back To The Future!

Peter: _Great Scott_!

Peter and Claire hop in a nearby DeLorean.

Claire: _To Infinity...AND BEYOND_!

Peter: You're bad with movie quotes. LET'S ROLL!

Peter slams his foot on the accelerator and car flies backward into a nearby house.

CRASH!

Peter: Hmm...I thought "R" meant "Ready To Go Forward" and "F" was "Fly Backward"! Ugh, why does the Alphabet have to be so confusing!?

Claire: _There's no crying in baseball_!

Peter: That doesn't even...forget it...let's just teleport before the owner of this house gets home.

Hiro: What's going on?

Elle: We're a part of a biker gang!

Hiro: Now what's going on?

Elle: We're detectives! And I'm trying to solve the case of my father's murder. This is Emily my assistant, and Quentin, our lovable mascot.

Quentin: I'm a customer! I need to save my sister!

Elle: You heard the man, GO TEAM!

Nathan is going around, reaping the souls of people who look like Bob Bishop.

Elle: My dad's alive?! But what's with all the Shape Shifters? Someone is trying to bait me...it's Prom all over again!

Nathan goes to "Power Anonymous" and meets...

Luke: Luke Collins...I have the power of The Sun!

Nathan: Okay.

Miko: And I'm a video game character.

Nathan (looking at his phone): "Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D" hasn't returned my phone calls...okay, nevermind. Where were we? Oh right, I'm here for her. (points to Miko)

Ronin Warriors attack the meeting. Miko kills them all.

Miko: There is a game company that has the source copy of the game I came from. They're spawning monsters!

Nathan: Well, I think I reaped your soul when you died just a second ago...so we can leave and not worry about that coming back to bite us.

Meanwhile, someone else named Miko Mitomo gets killed, not soul reaped, and turned into a monster.

Luke: Babysitter flaked!

Nathan and Miko meet up with Elle, Quintin, Emily, Hiro and Mohinder.

Nathan: We're coming with you. We need to find Micah.

Matt (to Niki): Hey, since you and Tracy are the same person now. Have her come up here to Angela's Office and tell me how to do my job.

Harris Clones Attack.

Rene (The Haitian): Go! I'll hold them off!

Tracy: Quick! Though the toilet!

Matt: EW!

Rene gets captured. Niki/Tracy and Matt make it outside through the sewer system.

Claire: Now that I got my children, let's go back to the present and not into the middle of an enemy ambush.

Claire, Angela, Noah, Peter, Tommy and Malina arrive at Angela's office in the middle of an enemy ambush.

Claire: What did I JUST say?!

Tommy and Malina manage to teleport out of there. They run into Matt and Niki.

Malina: Our mother has been kidnapped!

Matt: Don't worry, Niki and I will be your parents now.

Niki: I'm sorry, what?

Tommy: Uh...

Matt: And our first order of family business is to celebrate! Put on your Sunday best, kids, we're going to Sears!

Tommy and Malina: YAY!

In Sears Department Store to some upbeat music, Matt, Niki, Tommy and Malina walk onto an escalator wearing 70's Afro Wigs and Bell Bottoms. The four of them begin waving their hands back and forth on the rails of the escalator before shaking them in the air.

Malina (singing): _I think I'll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun's calling my name..._

Matt, Niki, Tommy and Malina (singing): _I hear ya now. I just can't stay inside all day. I gotta get out, get me some of those raaaaaaaaaaays!_

Niki: AHHHHH! YOU TOLD ME YOUR BURNED THAT FOOTAGE!

Matt: Oh come on, Niki, you know me better than that.

In Company Prison.

Bob: Erica Kravid, she's the mastermind behind everybody's plot line.

Noah: That's just lazy.

Bob: She wants to make a team of developers work on a virus under the guise of working on a hit video game. This virus will make anybody with abilities who look at their electronic device that is connected through the internet susceptible to an attack that will strip them of their abilities. She will then be able to profit off of the powers by selling them back to the public. In order to accomplish this she'll need the power of Claire's Twins, a power Conduit, Elle, the power to locate those with abilities, Molly, and...

Sylar is sitting on a plane with Joanne Collins and Edgar from Samuel Sullivan's carnival.

Sylar: Uh...this is happening right now. Why are you putting this in the "previouslies"? Are we even in this episode?!

Janice Parkman shows a picture to West Rosen.

Janice: We need to take down this woman...Erica Kravid. She's the mastermind behind everybody's plot line.

West: That doesn't sound lazy at all!

West infiltrates the Game Development Division of The Kompany. He runs into Ando.

Ando: Oh, it's great here. We work non stop, and a special gas is released to prevent us from getting tired.

West (leaving): Bye Ando, going to go start a class action lawsuit about something else!

Ando: Why does that always happen? Wait! But I didn't get a chance to tell you the chip they discreetly installed in you will make you come running back at...

5pm Hits.

West dives out of Janice's moving car and takes off running back toward the Kompany.

Janice: Didn't even bother closing the door, this is why I don't carpool.

At the old Third Generation Hideout, only Zach remains.

Zach: Micah and Molly went on the run after the downfall of The Third Generation. Digital Monsters from Evernow and Physical Monsters which manifest from the souls of those who have not been sent to the afterlife are roaming the streets.

Nathan: And just because I'm the Grim Reaper, you automatically think that's somehow MY fault.

Zach: Well...yeah.

 **Nathan Petrelli and Elle Bishop  
Former Third Generation Headquarters  
Isn't this the house where they filmed "Family Matters". I swear it is. I'm Googling it.**

Hiro: Zach, what in the world happened here?

Zach: After the world became aware of abilities, some found out about our organization. A lot of people aren't ready to accept those with powers. They found our hideout and destroyed it. Our group was pretty small to begin with, everybody else went into hiding. Micah and Molly ran off when they found out about Erica Kravid's plans.  
Elle: Erica Kravid...that name sounds familiar.

Emily: She's keeping your father imprisoned and using shape shifters that look like him to lure you to her for some reason.

Quentin: And she has my sister.

Hiro: And she's managing The Company. When did it go back to starting with a "C"?

Emily (looking through her 4th wall breaking notes): Someone named Sylar used a "Change Something Permanently on the Show" card and changed it back because it being called "Kompany" with a "K" was stupid.

Nathan: Wait, those cards exist?

Hiro (to Emily): Ah! Good to know, thanks!

Elle: She's an awesome assistant. I'd be wildly exchanging professions and sending my friends on wild goose chases if it weren't for her!

Hiro and Mohinder exchange looks.

She turns to Quentin.

Elle: But you, Mascot, you're on thin ice, pal!

Quentin: I'm not the mascot!

Zach: You're searching for Micah because of the monsters from the video game. (He looks at Miko). Her video game.

Miko: Yes, I believe she is running the company that contains the source code. She is somehow releasing data from the game into the world.

Zach: You would be correct, Erica Kravid is concocting a plan to strip the entire world of abilities.

Hiro: What?!

Zach: We have to stop her. She will have all the powers of the world at her disposal she will have a system to sell them BACK to their owners for a ridiculous amount of money.

Nathan: What does this have to do with monsters popping up from a video game?

Zach: Is there now better way to stop rampant monsters than with powers?

Miko: It's not just monsters, but Ronin Warriors as well. Any enemy from the source code of the game can appear in the real world.

Nathan: Ah...

Hiro: This is terrible! She must be stopped!

Zach: I agree, but first we need to take care of the monsters caused by HIM. (Points at Nathan).

Nathan: Oh yeah, the whole "if somebody doesn't get sent into the afterlife" they turn into monsters because that totally makes sense. (eyeroll).

Zach: It's important we don't do major harm to these monsters, there are still people in there. We have tranquiler shotguns in the back room.

Nathan: A tranquilizer shot gun!?

Zach: Yes. Time is short, let's hurry.

Everybody comes back into the room with their tranquilizer shot guns.

Elle: Let's get to huntin'! Gonna find me my first monster and BANG!

BANG!

Nathan collapses.

Everyone looks at Zach.

Zach: Hm?...Oh right, these leftover weapons are failed prototypes. They're voiced activated and don't have triggers. You know, to prevent people from getting accidentally shot.

Mohinder: Seems a little impractical.

Zach: Yeah, that's why they're failures.

Elle They go off when you say the word 'BANG'!?

BANG!

Zach collapses.

Hiro: Elle, stop shooting people.

Elle: It's not my fault! Now let's hurry. I want to make sure I get back in time to catch the latest episode of the Big Bang Theory!

BANG!

Everyone: AHHHH!

Hiro: Elle!

Elle: I'm sorry. I'm just nervous because I haven't eaten yet. Luckily I bought me a bowl of Bangers and Mash! Anybody want any?

BANG!

Everyone: AHHHHH!

Hiro: ELLE! You're going to hit someone again!

Elle: Sorry...tell you what, to make it up to everyone let's rent a movie tonight. I always wanted to see "The Banger Sisters".

BANG!

Hiro: UGH!

Mohinder: I think that one got me, I feel faint-ish.

Elle: Well, I'm out of bullets. You guys go ahead. I'm just going to stay behind and listen to some music.

She lifts up her iPhone to her mouth.

Elle (to phone): Siri, play " _Walk Like An Egyptian_ " by The Bangles.

BANG!

Hiro: OH, COME ON!

Mohinder: I'm positive that one hit me.

Elle: Okay, NOW I'm out of bullets.

Matt, Niki, Tommy and Malina are at a restaurant across the street from The Company.

Tommy: So...why haven't we broken in and saved mom and the others yet?

Niki: We won't be able to with that power dampener. It prevented you from teleporting in there, so it's definitely going to cause problems for Matt's power to read minds and my power to get angry. They'll have the upper hand on us.

Matt (reading the menu): A Peanut Butter Cup Milkshake...um...YES? Okay, I know what I want. We already destroyed half the restaurants in the city, I hope this one doesn't pull any crap on us.

Malina: We just have to think of a way to get in there.

Tracy: Maybe if the dampeners don't effect underneath the ground, I can travel through the water system and get inside the building. I'll just need to break out on my own.

Tommy and Malina look at each other.

Tommy: What do you mean, "Travel through the water system?"

Tracy: Hmm? Oh, sorry, I'm Tracy now.

Tommy and Malina look at Matt.

Matt: Yeah, she flip flops. She's the good sister.

Niki's Reflection bangs on the Metal Napkin Dispenser on the table.

Niki (Reflection): I HEARD THAT!

Malina: What is going on?

Tommy: This doesn't sound familiar in the comics at all. Wait...you're Niki's sister who has the power of Ice and Water manipulation.

Tracy: That's me. Something strange happened and now Niki and I are the same person. I don't know why or how we can separate again.

Tommy: Hmm...you know, that may not be a bad idea. If she can get in and find a way to disable the power dampener, we can get in and free the others.

A few tables down, a man is listening to their conversation. A penny is quickly spinning on his table, next to the penny:

 **Chapter Five "Monster Hunters"**

The mysterious man swipes the penny off the table and locks it away in a briefcase.

 **= = = = = = = = = =  
(HEROES)  
= = = = = = = = = = **

**Claire and Peter  
The Company Prison **

**Download Our App Today and receive points for every time you are imprisoned to receive fabulous prizes!**

Peter (looking at the app): Awesome! Claire, guess what?! We've been imprisoned so many times over the course of the series, I've obtained enough points to get us...a free trip to prison?! Aw man, what's the point in that? Well, hold on...this looks like an fancy cell. I might go ahead and get this.

Claire: UGH! I have GOT to get out of this stupid cell. All this time being out of the sunlight must be horrible for my complexion.

Claire walks over and looks in the mirror.

Claire's Reflection: I AM GROOT!

Claire: OH SHUT UP!

Angela (in the adjacent cell with Noah): Oh Noah, this is awful. We have to find a way to get out of here. All this time being out of the sunlight has been horrible on your complexion.

Noah: Gee, Thanks.

He gets up and walks over to the end of his cell.

Noah: Claire!

Claire: Yeah, dad?

Noah: Got any bright ideas on how to get out of here. I wasn't involved in the development of these prison cells so I don't have any fancy tricks up my sleeve.

Claire: Why was West working here anyway? He brought us dinner and now he's working on a game?!

Noah: While you two were sitting there like ninnies and watching your stupid Cher-Lock Holmes Show...

Peter: Which we got you two hooked on...just throwin' that out there.

Noah: Erica Kravid is going to release a virus that strips people of their abilities. She must be stopped.

Claire: I wonder...maybe I can "Work" here and find out a way to stop her.

Noah: You're a prisoner, you're also the mother of the twins she wants. That sounds like a stupid idea that won't work.

Claire: But...what if I told her if she lets me out of the prison and work here, I'll tell her where the twins are.

Noah: Why would she agree to that? She's getting the twins AND an additional worker? You get nothing out of that deal so it's going to sound super suspicious.

Claire: I get the dream of always wanting to work on a video game. I have experience you know...

In a horror video game, Claire is walking into the restroom of a log cabin in the woods, it is dark and snowing outside.

Claire (yelling out the door): Wow, you Teenagers I'm spending the weekend with here are SOOO crazy! Isn't it awesome that we're all the same age?! I hope we all don't get murdered or eaten by Wendigos or anything like that!

Claire is wearing a towel around her body.

Claire: Now it's time to take a relaxing bath.

 **Press the control stick to move Claire.**

Claire: Walking...walking...this room is really nice...uh...wall...wall...WALL!

Claire runs into the wall.

Claire: OOF! Ow...okay, let's turn around.

Claire gets turned around and walks to the giant bath tub.

Claire: Let's get this bath started.

 **Press X to turn on the water to freezing cold.**

 **Press O to turn on the water to scalding hot.**

Claire: No "Warm water" middle ground, huh? Maybe I shouldn't take a bath. I think I'll go out and talk to my teenager friends about Prom and stuff.

Claire turns on the bath to freezing and climbs in.

Claire: Okay, water is definitely freezing...looks like I'm taking the bath after all. Why am I still wearing this towel!? It's going to get wet!

Claire sits down into the tub water while wearing the towel.

Claire: EWWW! It's all soaked!

 **Press X to remove the towel.**

Claire: Why didn't I get that option BEFORE getting into the water?! Stupid game!

Claire removes the wet towel.

 **Press X to throw the towel.**

Claire: Ugh, I guess I'll just toss the towel to the side, it'll eventually dry.

Claire hurls the towel out the open window into the snow.

Claire: DAMMIT!

 **Press X to turn on the TV.**

Claire looks around and doesn't see a television in the room...she looks up.

Claire: Oh no...no, no, no, no...I refuse to do that. I haven't had good experiences with...

Claire turns on the TV...which falls from the ceiling and into the bath tub.

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!

Claire: AHHHHHH!

Back in Prison.

Claire: And THAT'S why I don't have televisions in my ceiling anymore!

Noah: What the HELL are you talking about?!

Claire: HM? Oh...I mean, whatever it was we were talking about before.

Noah: Video games?

Claire: Right...I'm going to make a deal with Erica. WEST!

West: HEY CLAIRE!

Claire: AHHHH! West! You scared the crap out of me!...How long have you been...forget it. Tell your boss I want a job.

West: That's why I'm down here. She loves the idea of you both working here AND handing over the twins. I'm taking you to your interview now.

Claire: How did she...What, are the cells are bugged or something?!

West: They sure are! She should be listening to your entire conversation right now!

Noah (sarcastically): Well, this should turn out well for all of us.

West lets Claire out of the cell and takes her away.

Matt (with his milkshake), Tracy, Tommy and Malina are walking out of the restaurant.

Matt: It's so nice that we didn't have to blow that place up for being rude to us!

Man: Excuse me.

They turns around to see a man wearing a suit and a hat, carrying a briefcase.

Man: I'm sorry, I couldn't help but to overhear your predicament in the Diner back there.

Matt: GASP! He knows our true identities. Everybody, put on your glasses and I'll use the "Men In Black Mind Eraser Pen" to wipe his memory!

Matt whips out his pen. It does nothing.

Niki: Isn't that your straw from your milkshake?

Matt: He didn't have to know that...you turned back into Niki, didn't you?

Niki: Sure did.

Matt: I really don't like you surprising me like that.

Man: Well, maybe I can help with that. Let me introduce myself, my name is Caspar Abraham, I'm a traveling Penny Salesman.

Niki: You...sell...pennies?

Caspar: Yes.

Niki: As...in...the coin?

Caspar: Yes.

Niki: ….Are...they...special pennies...

Caspar: Well, the special pennies I have aren't for sale.

Niki: So...just...regular pennies?

Caspar: Yes.

Niki: How much?

Caspar: I'm running a special. You can get 10 for One Dollar!

Niki: And...that's a business for you?

Caspar: Yes.

Niki: So...a person pays you a dollar. And you give them ten cents. And you keep ninety cents in profit.

Caspar: Yes.

Matt: Geez, Niki, it's not that hard to understand.

Niki: Geez, Matt, it kinda is because it sounds like a stupid business.

Matt: Geez, Niki, it kinda sounds like a brilliant business and maybe I should do that.

Niki: Geez, Matt, go right ahead because I hope you get punched in the face as soon as someone finds out you're tricking them out of ninety cents!

Matt: Geez, Niki, maybe if the customer knew that and didn't take the sale it wouldn't be a problem.

Niki: Geez, Matt...you kind of totally have a point!

Caspar: May I continue?

Niki: No!

Caspar: My business is besides the point. Though my "special pennies" may be able to assist. You see, I have the ability the use my special pennies to store memories.

Niki: That...is a really specific power.

Matt: Geez, Niki, I think it sounds like a cool power!

Niki: Shut it.

Caspar: These pennies are special because they contain memories that nobody can get rid of...even if the course of history was altered by a reset Universe Timeline.

Matt: AHH! He's on to us!...Wait...what did we do?

Niki: Okay, hot shot! Explain yourself. How are you aware of the Universe Reset?

Caspar: All these Pennies store memories...nothing...can take them away, unless if I say so of course. They can store them, take them, return them...anything is possible with my precious pennies.

Matt (whispering to Niki): He does know that they make higher coin denominations. Nickels...Dimes...

Caspar: NO! ONLY PENNIES!

Matt: Okay, yeesh...

Niki: That doesn't explain how you were aware of the universe reset, but whatever. What does this have to do with us and why do you care?

Caspar: Because...I have a history with all of you. Yes...young Tommy and Malina here. I knew your mother...

Tommy: You did?

Caspar: Yes...we've had our differences...but in the end...we became good friends. Let's go back...in memory lane...

Niki: It's "DOWN Memory Lane"!

Caspar pulls out a penny...and shoves it on Tommy's forehead.

Tommy: AHHHH!

-Flashback-

Claire is in the hospital, about to give birth.

Claire: AHHHHHH! HERE IT COMES! I THINK IT'S A LITTER!

Doctor: Could you stop talking? You're starting to gross me out.

Claire: What!? You're a doctor!

Caspar walks into the delivery room.

Caspar: Anybody want to buy some pennies?

Niki: …That's it?

Caspar: …

Tommy: That penny left an imprint on my forehead...that's not permanent is it?!

Niki: What kind of story was that?!

Caspar: An origin story of a beautiful friendship.

Niki: How?!

Caspar: Long story short, I'm pretty much your God Parents.

Tommy: Okay...?

Matt: Be grateful, young Thomas. Some of us didn't get to know our God Parents...*sniff* mine was taken away from me at a young age.

-Flashback-

In Toon Town, Jessica Rabbit enters a Super Bowl Party, she's holding a baby.

Jessica: I hope you didn't start the party without me.

Guy: Wow, Jessica, you look stunning in that dress!

Jessica: I'm not bad, I'm just DRAWN that way.

Guy: You're just in time for the food. Time to dig in...

He sets down a bowl of:

Jessica: Oh my GOD, IT'S DIP!

Jessica drops the baby and plants her face into the bowl.

SPLORK!

Matt: They said her lungs were filled with Seven Layer Bean Dip!

Niki: YOUR lungs are going to be filled with Seven Layer...Blood...Dip...if you don't zip it!

Malina: I'm sorry, you said you had a history with them? (points to Matt and Niki)

Caspar: Yes...unfortunately...

Flashback to René is fighting some of the Harris clones, he ducks behind a desk.

René (yelling): You two escape yet?!

Niki: NO! Matt tried to climb out the window and got stuck!

Niki runs back over to Matt, whose butt is hanging inside the office.

Niki: Matt, I can't believe you tried going out the window. Now we're all going to die!

Niki looks around.

Niki: I don't think I can get you out...but...at least I'll give you some dignity so Angela doesn't have to stare at your butt when she gets back.

Niki takes a sharpie marker and draws a smiley face on Matt's butt. She runs to a plant and gets some branches...she adheres them on the top, forming "antlers".

Niki: Okay, we're getting somewhere with this.

End Flashback.

Niki: AHHHHH! That was YOU!?

Caspar: Indeed.

Niki: What the hell were you doing in the Mayor's Office?

Caspar: I was selling pennies...

Niki: Dude, you really got to stop with that. That's NOT A legitimate business.

Caspar: ….and I tripped over the rug, landing out the window.

Niki: UH...that place was filled with Clones and Gunfire and we were there the entire time, how did you get by without us seeing you?

Caspar: Oh, I was there much earlier in the day. I was determined to make the sale.

Niki: Uh huh.

Matt: I remember, and I accidentally touched your butt because I thought it was a Moose!

Caspar: Yes, we need to talk about that...

Matt: Hey, so can I buy other people's memories and watch them?!

Niki: Smooth dodge.

Caspar: Of course! You have to buy 10, and they'll be random.

Matt: Oooh, grab bag. I like! I'll take it!

Matt hands Caspar a dollar bill, Caspar gives him ten cents. Niki shakes her head.

Matt: Let's see whose memory I'll be reliving...

Matt holds the penny up to his head aaaaaand...

FLASHBACK!

Matt is in a sparkling red dress...he's holding a baby.

Guy: Time to dig in!

He sets down a bowl of:

Matt: IT'S DIP!

Matt drops the baby he was holding and plunges his head in the Seven Layer Bean Dip.

SPLORK!

Matt: AHHHHHH! I'M RELIVING IT AGAIN! OH FATE, THOUST CRUEL MISTRESS!

Niki: I'm so over this, (to Caspar) tell us what you want with us or YOUR lungs are going to be filled with Seven Layer...Penny...Dip?

Niki looks back to Tommy and Malina. They both shake their head.

Niki: I thought it was clever.

Caspar: I can help you with your split personality issue.

Niki: How?

Caspar: Well, with the help of our young teleporter here. (Looks at Tommy)

Malina: So did you actually sell pennies to our mother while she was in labor? I'm still hung up on that for some reason.

Claire is in Erica Kravid's office. They are face to face.

Claire: So...are you gonna sit in that chair the entire season or what?

Erica: Clari-bell Josephine Bennett. It's nice to finally make your acquaintance.

Claire: THAT's...not my name. And...we've met.

Erica: Can't say I recall.

Claire: Uh...yeah...it was a few hours ago. You had us all held hostage...in this room.

"Molly" enters the room.

Claire: And that weird girl who thinks she's Molly Walker was there.

Molly: I'm Polly Marker.

Claire: ….

Molly shifts her eyes.

Molly: I'm Wally Parker.

Claire: Whatever. So...let's get on with this.

Erica: So...you want to work for me. Why?

Claire: I always wanted to get into videogames. Anything to establish my brand...I'm actually known for playing a very famous movie character.

Erica: I don't know who that would be.

Claire: Because I haven't told you the name yet, stupid! It's Claire...Claire Voyance!

Erica: Nope. Doesn't ring a bell.

Molly: I've heard of your movies. They sometimes play them during Intermission of popular movies.

-Flashback-

Iron Man: It's time to get that bad guy.

Captain America: Let's do this. Avengers style!

INTERMISSION! PEE BREAK!

Everyone storms out of the theater.

On the screen, Dancing Candy appear.

Dancing Candy (singing): _Let's go out to the Lobby! Let's go out to the Lobby! Let's go out to the Lobby! And pay 45 Dollars for a Coke. And then drink it all in one sitting. But now I have to go to the bathroom. And oh no, The line is a mile long. And now I just wet myself. And now I have to tie a sweater around my front so nobody notices. I think I'll call my roommate Brad to bring me some fresh pants. "What do you mean you wont do it?". "I did YOU a favor when I drove your Grandmother to get her cholesterol checked because your car was in the shop." "Everything checked out fine by the way." "She wants to know if you'll bring a pie to Thanksgiving." "I don't know, Banana Creme"._

Captain America: AVENGERS! AWAY!

Claire: THEY DIDN'T PLAY MY MOVIE!

Molly: Oh, I guess not. I wouldn't know, it was a Pee Break.

Claire: UGH!

Erica: You're hired.

Claire: I am?! But we didn't talk about anything. And I worked so hard on this list of fake jobs I've had since I graduated High School twenty minutes ago!

Erica: Mr. Rosen will show you your desk.

West (hops out behind Claire): CLAIRE!

Claire: AHHHH!

Later...

West: So, this is your desk. You'll be working on the next exciting game in the Evernow Series!

Claire: I'll be what-ing on the who what to the what now?

West: Let me know when you have any questions. This here is Ando. He makes games too!

Ando: Nice to meet you!

Claire: Uh, we've met, Ando. Many times...I...can't think of any at the moment. Ugh, I better hurry and think of a memory of the two of us, or they're just going to play whatever flashback the stupid writers can think...

In a car on a cliff.

Ando (to Claire): Ready, Thelma?

Claire (to Ando): Ready, Louise!

The car flies off the cliff.

Claire: DAMMIT!

Ando: I remember it like it was yesterday.

Claire: ANYWAY...(she turns to West)...what's with all that weird stuff you were talking about earlier? Like working here all the time and junk?

West: Oh, the building pumps out a revitalizing gas that lets you never get fatigued or overworked and the chip we implanted in your head will always force you to return to the building at 5pm! Even if you try to escape.

Claire: When did you put a chip in my head?

West: When I scared you! It's better to install the chips when they victim least expects it.

Claire: Uh huh. Hold on.

Claire leaves. 5:01pm strikes.

Claire: Looks like I'm impervious to the chip limit. Score one for powers!

Claire goes back to West.

Claire: Wow, it worked. Here I am back at work. WINK! WINK!

West: Great! How about the revitalizing gas?

Claire (yawning): Yeah, sure. Feel like a million bucks.

West: Awesome, well have a seat here.

Claire: What kind of system is this anyway? Do the prisoners have chips installed in them so they can't escape?

West: That's a wonderful idea, Claire. I'll pass that along to the boss.

Claire: Wait, no! Ah, hell, looks like I need to hurry up and...

Claire runs into the prison sector.

Claire (screaming): ...LET THE PRISONERS OUT!

Noah: What?

Angela: Why are you screaming in our faces?

Claire: I need to get you guys out of here. You all are about to be chipped!

Angela: What is that?!

Claire: It'll make you come back here after a certain amount of time and probably put you to work.

Angela: But I hate work!

Claire: I know, we need to go.

Noah: No way, that woman took my Company away from me. I'm taking it back from her.

Claire: With WHAT?

Noah: I have powers too, Claire Bear.

Noah lightly touches his finger to his horn rimmed glasses. Both of the lenses immediately pop out, shattering when they hit the ground.

Claire: UHHH...Why do your glasses have an "eject lens" button?

Noah: Yeah, it wasn't supposed to do that.

Hiro, Mohinder, and Quentin are running down the street, screaming. Hiro is carrying a passed out Nathan on his shoulders. Quentin is carrying Zach.

Mohinder: Do you want me to carry him for a while?

Hiro: NO! It is an honor...no, a privilege to carry flying man.

Mohinder: If you say so. How did we get separated from the others?

Hiro: A better question is how are we going to do this? We're supposed to knock these monsters out with our shot guns?

Mohinder: Yes, and Nathan is supposed to send their souls to the beyond.

Hiro: But he's passed out. And we're out of bullets!

Mohinder: You just HAD to stop at the Karaoke Bar and do that "Bang, Bang, My Baby Shot Me Down" song!

Hiro: It's the only song I know how to sing...and I'm pretty amazing at it!

Quentin: Don't worry. I have this under control. I also have powers. Everybody join hands.

Hiro: Uh...

Mohinder: We're getting chased by rabid beasts, I don't think now is the time.

Quentin: Trust me.

The three of them join hands.

Quentin: Now...I watch A LOT of "Charmed", so we're going to have to tap into our inner witch.

Hiro: Our inner WHAT?!

Quentin: Hiro, you have the power to stop time.

Hiro: I do...I always use it in situations that call for it.

Mohinder: Good thing this wouldn't be one of those situations.

Hiro: I don't like to waste it.

Quentin: Okay, Hiro, you're our "Piper" of the group. Mohinder, can you move things with your mind?

Mohinder: I've moved _people_ with my mind because they're usually floored by my intelligence.

Hiro: Give me a break...

Quentin: Close enough. You're "Prue".

Mohinder: Okay.

Quentin: And...I'm "Phoebe" with my Psychic Abilities. GASP! I'm getting a vision!

A T-Rex runs up and leans down, swallowing Hiro, Mohinder and Quentin in one chomp.

Quentin (coming out of his vision): …...I think we have a shot.

Meanwhile, Caspar The Penny Seller...

Caspar: Now, Niki...I want you to concentrate really, really hard. Think of every memory you've ever had.

Niki: That's...impossible.

Caspar holds a penny up to Niki's forehead.

Caspar: Tommy, I need you to take Niki's arm and teleport a short distance away when I snap my fingers. It doesn't have to be far and it doesn't matter where.

Tommy: ...okay.

Tommy grabs Niki's arm.

Caspar: Now...Tracy Strauss...

Niki (now Tracy): Yes?...

Malina: GASP!

Caspar: While I still have this penny held onto your head, I want you to think of every memory you've ever had of you.

Tracy: Done!

Tracy (as Niki): WHAT?! There's no way you can think of everything that has happened to you. Unless you have some sort of photographic memory.

Tracy (as Tracy): I don't know what it is...all the memories are flooding back to me.

Tracy (as Niki): This feels like a bad magic trick.

Tommy: I'm getting weirded out.

Caspar: Both personalities are trying to break out at once. This is good. Now remember, Tommy, teleport Niki away when I snap my fingers...

Tommy: …..

Tracy: …...

Malina: …...

Matt (checking out other penny memories)

Caspar: ….Now.

SNAP!

Tommy and Niki teleport five feet away from the group, Tracy is still standing in place, with the penny up to her forehead.

Tracy: Wow...I...I can't believe it.

Niki: How in the world did you do that with a penny?!

Caspar: Never doubt the power of pennies.

Tracy: Thank you Caspar. How can we ever repay you?

Caspar: You can buy some pennies.

Tracy: Can...I just give you a dollar and you can keep the pennies?

Caspar: Of course!

Tracy hands him a dollar.

Caspar: Now that all is good in the world and I've had a chance to do some digging through Ms. Sanders Penny Memories...

Niki: Invasion Of Privacy Much!?

Caspar: You all are going to try and break into The Company to rescue my best friend, Claire?

Niki: I'm not going back to that conversation...but yes.

Caspar: It's much too dangerous, Erica Kravid is doing evil things, and wants to use you children (pointing to Tommy and Malina) for said evil things.

Niki: How do you know all that?

Flashback to Caspar entering Erica's office.

Caspar: You want to buy some pennies?

Erica: Yes.

Back to present.

Niki: You're terrible at telling stories.

Caspar: And I MAY have picked up a thought or two from her.

Niki: Well, that's good at least! We can know all her secrets and see where she is keeping Claire, Rene, and the others.

Caspar: Not so fast...her memory lies in...here.

Caspar shakes his briefcase.

Caspar: You may receive her memory for a price...if its the right one. Remember, it's a grab bag.

Niki: Oh crap...this is going to cost us.

Matt: Its okay...I got this.

Matt gives Caspar two dollars.

Niki: Whoopy Doo, we'll have twenty pennies. Chances are they're going to be duds.

Matt: Then we'll get more, after reliving the trauma of my childhood...

Niki rolls her eyes.

Matt: We need to do this to save our friends. It's time to go into memory lane.

Niki: IT'S "DOWN MEMORY LANE"! Why is that so hard?!

Matt sticks a penny up to his forehead.

Matt: Pilot.

Niki sticks a penny up to her forehead.

Niki: Watch Repair Man.

Tracy sticks a penny up to her forehead.

Tracy: Set designer from the "I Love Lucy" episode where Lucy and Ethel stole John Wayne's Footprints from Grauman's Chinese Theater. That's...really specific.

Tommy: Band-Aid Artist...He makes art pieces out of Band-Aids...I guess that was self explanatory.

Malina: Park Ranger.

Matt: Figure Skater.

Niki: Avocado Juggler.

Tracy: Toe Model.

Tommy: Tony Bawk...he's a professional "Chicken Skateboarder"...What the hell is that?!

Malina: Hedgehog Whisperer.

Matt: Vacuum Cleaner Cleaner...he cleans Vacuums.

Niki: Hannibal Lector...he gives lectures on how to eat people. Oh, that's nice...

Tracy: Smoke Monster From LOST.

Tommy: Troy McClure...you may remember him from such memory films as "Dr. Who Are You Again?" and "Forget Her? I Hardly Know Her".

Malina: The Map from Dora The Explorer.

Matt: Slenderman.

Niki: Guy who participates in Civil War Reenactments every third Saturday of the month.

Tracy: Super Mario.

Tommy: Jon Snow.

Malina: Barbie.

Matt: …...Anybody got two more dollars?

Niki: Groan.

Meanwhile, in Company Prison.

Noah: Angela, you need to get out of here.

Bob: AHEM!

Noah: Oh, right, and Bob. Peter, you need to protect your mother.

Peter: You're right. If she gets killed I'll cease to exist!

Noah: I...don't think it works like that Peter.

Angela: No, he's right. 9 months ago, I was going through a Mid-Life Crisis and wanted to retain a more youthful appearance, so I had Peter obtain some time traveling powers and bring the more youthful me back to the present.

Noah: HE WHAT?!

Angela: I know, I look ravishing, don't I? Except for the fact that I'm super pregnant. You probably should have aimed for a different time in my life, Peter.

Peter: That's okay. You're gonna make a wonderful mother when you have me.

Angela: I know.

Noah: What are you two talking about!? All of this sounds bad!

Claire: I mean...it would be easier if you needed to REPLACE your lenses, but I just don't see the purpose of having that button on there from day to day.

Noah: ARE YOU STILL ON THAT?!

Angela: Peter, stay here and take down this evil. Bob and I can protect ourselves.

Bob: If you see Elle, make sure she makes it out okay. I'm sure she's on her way here right now.

Elle and Emily are eating Ice Cream. A monster runs up to them, Elle zaps it with lightning.

Emily: ACK!

Elle: It's okay, it's a low frequency zap. It won't hurt them. Too bad I ran out of bullets again. Stupid Hiro had to sing "My Baby Shot Me Down".

Emily: Are you upset that we got thrown out because all our guns kept going off in the Karaoke bar?

Elle: No, I'm upset because that was MY song! He stole it and made me look like a fool.

Flashback to Elle getting on stage.

Announcer: That was Hiro Nakamura singing "Bang, Bang, My Baby Shot Me Down". Now, here's Elle Bishop singing the same exact song!

Elle grabs the microphone.

Elle (singing): …. _I was five and he was six..._

Patron: BOOO! GET OFF THE STAGE!

Elle: YOU BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!

Elle runs off the stage.

Elle: That's okay. I'll just drown my sorrows in Ice Cream! Which is really good by the way. Much better than the crap I sell at my place.

Emily: I didn't think that was actually Ice Cream.

Elle: It's not. Oh Bertha, I don't know what to think anymore.

Emily: It's Emily.

Elle: All these weird Shape Shifters pretending to be my dad to lure me to this Erica broad. What does it mean? It smells like a trap.

Emily: She sounds like the main villain behind every plot in the storyline, so...I'd say it's a trap.

Elle: What happened to that weird Videogame chick? Wasn't she with us?

Emily: She said she had some unfinished business.

Elle: Yeah, I just wish I knew...do you think he's the right man for me?

Emily: Wait..Huh? What?

Elle: I just don't know if he's the one.

Emily: Uh...who?

Elle: You know who...I just don't know if I'm ready to take our relationship to the next level.

A man comes walking in and up to Elle.

Elle: Brad!

Brad: I was a fool, Elle. I'm ready to make a commitment to you. I'm ready to make a commitment to us. I kicked my roommate out. Can you believe he wanted me to bring him some pants after he peed himself at the movies?!

Elle: That Dancing Candy has been nothing but trouble!

Brad: I love you, Elle.

Elle: I love me too, Brad!

Brad picks up Elle and carries her out of the Ice Cream store.

Ice Cream Workers (singing): _Love lift us up where we belong...Where the Eagles Cry...On A Mountain High..._

Elle: DAMMIT! I should have sung THAT song!

A very confused Emily slowly takes another bite of ice cream.

Mohinder and Hiro are hiding in a laundromat as a large beast rampages through the city.

Mohinder: How is it that nobody living in this city has noticed all the havoc? You'd think they'd call Animal Control or the Navy or something!

Hiro: If only we could turn back time and prevent this!

Mohinder: Why haven't you done that yet, exactly?

Hiro: And squish all the butterflies?! Messing up the timeline? That's NOT what Heroes do, Mohinder.

Mohinder (looking at his phone): Noah just texted me asking what the repercussions are of Peter going back in time to bring his pregnant mother back to the present? I do love riddles but this is not the time.

Quentin walks in wearing a poofy red rig and bucked teeth.

Quentin: Sisters, behold! I found my Spell Book!

Mohinder (to Mohinder): I think he still thinks we're witches.

Hiro: We've already been Bikers and Detectives...what's one more profession?

Quentin: Let's see if we can cast some spells here. Hmm...pickens are a lot slimmer than I remember. I have a spell to wake someone from a deep sleep.

Hiro: Go on.

Quentin: And...a spell that banishes all souls roaming the Earth to a final resting place. But it's complicated.

Mohinder: How so?

Quentin: If we do the spell correctly...all the non-living souls that have not passed will do so. But if we do NOT do the spell correctly...everybody on Earth will die.

Hiro: That's...a little extreme.

Quentin: But everybody who died will come back to life...as a synchronized dancing zombie.

Hiro: Neat. So...we'll be dead.

Quentin: Yeah...but we'll all die before the second part so we'll come back as...actually, everybody in the world would turn into a dancing zombie. They could have just said THAT instead of making me waste time reading.

Mohinder: Go back to the first one.

Quentin: Okay, the spell to dispel deep slumber. It's very complicated. Sisters...hold hands.

Mohinder (his hand being grabbed): You just came out of the restroom, I hope you washed your hands.

Quentin: I don't know what that is.

Mohinder: EW!

Quentin (chanting): THOSE WHO SLEEP!...SLUMBER IS UPON YOU!...WE NEED YOUR SLUMBER...BEGONE!

Quentin spins around and slaps Nathan in the face.

SMACK!

Nathan: OWWWWW! Did someone just slap me!?

Quentin: It was I...it is confirmed. I am a witch. I used to call myself a "Man-Witch" but there's some _Sloppy Joe Company_ who didn't find that amusing. In fact they pressed charges. I resume our court case on Monday. They take Witches and Sloppy Joes VERY seriously.

Nathan: …...huh?

Quentin rips off his Witch wear and throws away his equipment.

Quentin: My days of being a Witch are over. I'm happy to continue being your sidekick.

Nathan points to Zach, who is still asleep.

Nathan: What about him?

Quentin: Ah, hell...

Quentin starts putting his Witch Gear back on.

Elsewhere,

Matt: A Skydiving Mime.

Niki: Spongebob.

Tracy: Caramel Enthusiast.

Tommy: A Poet who actually doesn't know it...but...huh?

Malina: Batman's Gardener.

Matt: "Loose Lips" Louie...his lips change shape depending on what mood he's in...He sounds awesome! Why isn't he a part of the cast?!

Niki: Johnny Grappleseed? Is that supposed to be a...

Tracy: A grape that looks like an apple.

Malina: I thought they were apples that looked like grapes.

Matt: I thought it was a famous move by my favorite wrestler, Stone Cold Steve Austin...*sniff*...he was my God Father, you know.

Flashback Stone Cold Steve Austin: Oh my god. Is that DIP!?

Stone Cold Steve Austin drops baby Matt and plunges his face in the Seven Layer Bean dip.

SPLORK!

Niki grabs a handful of Matt's lips.

Matt: ERRRGGFFFF!

Niki: MOVING ON!

Tracy: Shark Jumper.

Tommy: Soap Taster.

Malina: The Guy Who Found Waldo.

Matt (lips still crunched): EGGGFFLLL ERRFRRR!

Niki: Ice King.

Tracy: The little girl from those Candy Crush games.

Tommy: Captain James T. Jerk. He crashes the The Starship Enterprise into planets on purpose.

Malina: Snoopy.

Matt: Queen Of England.

Niki: Rumpelstiltskin.

Tracy: The Announcer Guy from Movie Trailers.

Tommy: Little Orphan Annie.

Malina: "Kill Bill Volume 2"?...Are we even doing people anymore?

Niki: UGH! THAT'S ENOUGH! I'm not going to go memory dumpster diving through forty thousand pennies! Just give us the one we need, you HAVE to know! Please!

Caspar: Well...I suppose. Okay, here is Erica Kravid's Penny Memory.

Niki swipes the penny and holds it up to her head. She lowers it.

Tracy: What happened? What did you see?

Niki: Caspar's right...we need to get Tommy and Malina out of here as quickly as possible. We can't risk them getting caught.

Tracy: So what do we do?

Niki: We have to get in there...Tommy, can you and Malina get to somewhere far away from here?

Tommy: I think so...but where could we go?

Caspar: I know exactly where we can go.

Tommy: Uh...we?

Caspar: Yes...it's very far away. I have a good friend who can set you guys up.

Tommy, Malina, and Caspar are standing at a doorway. The door opens to reveal Sandra Bennet.

Sandra: MY GRAND BABIES!

She whips out Mr. Muggles.

Sandra: And your new niece and nephew, isn't that right, Mr. Muggles?

Sandra (as Muggles): _It sure is! I can't wait to babysit!_

Tommy: Just to confirm, we were going somewhere safe, correct?

Caspar: Sandra, my dear!

Caspar lets himself in.

Sandra: Caspar! Oh, it's been so long! We have so much catching up to do.

She starts to tear up.

Sandra: Those pennies you sold me...they changed my world...they changed my life.

Malina: Nah, we're toast.

Back in town, Hiro, Mohinder, Quentin, Nathan and Zach are walking back to the car.

Zach (rubbing his face): Ow...that really hurt.

Nathan: Well, this was a disaster. We managed to waste ALL our tranquilizer bullets and didn't kill a single digital monster or send one back to the afterlife.

Miko gets in the car.

Nathan: AHH! Where have YOU been?

Miko: I repaid a visit to our friend Luke.

Nathan: "Friend" is pushing it...but what did you find out?

Miko: I went into his son's copy of Evernow, and I found out that it isn't just one game he is pulling data from. It is pulling data from EVERY copy of Evernow.

Hiro: What does that mean?

Miko: I know who is controlling it.

Nathan: Yeah, Erica.

Miko: No...

Claire, Noah and Peter are walking through The Company Halls. Peter grabs Noah.

Peter: Noah, I'm starting to vanish from existence.

Noah: UHHHH...WHAT?!

Peter: I brought my mother from the past to this present before she had me...so I won't exist. You must...save the world...without me...

Peter fades away.

Noah: UHHHHHHH...

Peter: I'll find you...in...39 Years...

Peter completely vanishes.

Noah: What just happened!?

Claire walks up to Noah.

Claire: Hey, I'm on Facetime with Angela at the hospital, she just got through giving birth. (To the phone) He's adorable, Angela!

Angela: Thanks, he was a tough one. It felt like I was delivering a Litter.

Claire: Girl, I know the feeling. Just buy some pennies, you'll be fine.

Angela: Buy some what?

Claire: What are you going to name him?

Angela: I think I'll name him...Peter.

Claire (to Noah): She's going to name him Peter.

Noah: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

Not too far away, Matt, Niki and Tracy come up through the toilet.

Matt: Yuck.

Niki: Pretty Much.

Tracy: Well...that's it. We're in...but there's a power dampener...we'll have to get out the old fashioned way.

Claire: Okay, dad, you try to sneak around. Maybe if I can go back undercover, I can find some more secrets.

Noah: Okay, is everybody seriously not panicking about this Peter being reborn thing? None of this should be happening now...

Claire: SHUSH! Just hide...AHH! Someone's coming!

Claire shoves Noah into the bathroom. Noah comes face to face with Matt, Tracy, and Niki.

Niki: Uh...hey.

Noah: Hey.

Tracy: Hey.

Matt: We're Bathroom Buddies!

Niki: NO WE'RE NOT!

Ando: Hey, Claire, we're a little short handed tonight. Would you mind being on guard patrol tonight?

Claire: How are we short handed? What happened to that "gas that makes people not tired" or whatever?

Ando: Everyone's here, but we really need more people on development. Here, take this gun and head down to Basement 12.

Claire: 12?! Why so many basements?

Ando: It's just the one, we just call it 12.

Claire: Okay...that's dumb...

Claire walks over to the elevator and presses the down button.

Nathan: _Micah_ is making all the enemies come out of the game?! Why?

Zach: That is Erica's plan...she must have captured him.

Miko: Yes, he is using is power to make the enemies come out of the game. Destroying them will do no good, so we have to destroy the source.

Nathan: So...we just unplug the machine?

Miko: No, you do that, it will kill him. He is IN the game as well, I must go into that copy and save the version of Micah that is imprisoned in the game.

Back in town, Emily runs up to the car.

Emily: Hey...I'm glad I found you guys...Elle's been kidnapped!

Quentin: We know...by Brad...I really think those two are gonna make it work.

Emily: No, a beast! It came up and grabbed Elle and took off with her!

Nathan: Well, that's not good. Where would it take her?

Miko: It was a digital monster so back to The Company. We need to destroy the source code now.

Hiro: What about the monsters caused by unsent souls?

Miko: I know how to fix that.

Nathan: You do?!

Miko: Yes...if you can get us in The Company, I can get us in the Source Copy of the game.

Hiro: Cool! I always wanted to be in my own video game...except for that one I was in.

In a Horror Video game, Hiro (wearing a towel) sits down in freezing water.

Hiro: WHY WON'T THEY LET ME TAKE OFF THE TOWEL BEFORE I GET IN THE WATER?! AHHHH!

Miko: I can take anybody with me into the video game, but you, Nathan, definitely need to come with me.

Nathan: Why?

Miko: If you help me restore the video game to it's original form...I can help you be relieved of your role as Death.

Nathan: …..But...I'm so good at it.

A monster lands on the hood of the car. Everyone screams.

Zach: Sorry Nathan, you're kinda not.

Nathan: Well, it's hard, dammit!

Miko: Do we have a deal?

Nathan: …..Sure.

Claire gets off the elevator of Basement 12 and walks up to...

Claire: The Haitian!?

Rene: I go by Rene now, by the order of a "Change Something Permanently On The Show Card" that Niki used a few episodes back. You and I are trapped here, guarding him.

Claire looks over to see Micah hooked up to a machine, with a copy of Evernow in it.

Claire: Oh my god...those "Change The Show" card things exist?!

 **To Be Continued**


	6. Twenty Hours To New York

**The Heroes Parody Project  
Season 6  
Chapter 6**

 **Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.**

Niki is in bed, reading a Celebrity Tabloid.

Niki: Am I supposed to believe that poodle wasn't photo shopped?

Her bedroom door flies open, Matt slides in wearing a glittering silver outfit and poofy maroon hair.

Matt (singing): _Lil' Sweet sliding unrealistically into someone's bedroom!_

Niki: Uh...

Matt: Nicolette Sanders! Internet Stripper Extraordinaire! Do I have the perfect product for you!

Niki: Matt...what is this?

Matt: It's the cool refreshing taste of Diet Dr. Pepper!

He holds up a can.

Matt: OOOH! Just looking at it gives me the PEPPER SHAKES! So cool. So crisp. OH YEAH!

Niki: Why are you dressed like that?!

Matt (singing): _Because Peter was supposed to do it but he erased himself from existence after he brought pregnant Angela Petrelli here from the paaaast. OOOH YEAAAAH!_

Niki: I have to be hallucinating this. That's what I get for jumping into bed and bashing my head on the headboard.

Matt: Nothing cures bumps on the head like the crisp, cool, refreshing taste of DIET! DR! PEPPER!

Niki: I'm not drinking your stupid drink! I just brushed my teeth. That and if I drink anything before going to bed, I'll have that weird dream again where I'm a famous opera singer and birds fly out of my mouth!

Matt: Then it's the perfect time! TASTE! CONSUME!

Niki: If I drink it will you go away?!

Matt (singing): OH YEAAAAH!

Niki: ….Uh...this can says "Diet Dr. Drink". What the HELL is Dr. Drink?

Matt (singing): _We could only afford the depiction of the mascot and not the actual product because our show doesn't have any monnneeyyyy!_

Niki: Yeah, I'm not drinking this.

Matt: You must! DRINK! TASTE the cool refresh-edness of Diet Dr. Pepper! Let your body be LIFTED and controlled by the Eleven Herbs And Spices.

Niki: Eleven herbs and...That's Kentucky Fried Chicken's recipe! GROSS! Matt, I swear, if this tastes like fried chicken I'm going to vomit all over you!

Matt: DRINK!

Niki: OKAY! Shut up!

Niki takes a sip and makes a sour face.

Niki: Oh god...it tastes like mud!

Matt (singing): _That's because it IS muuuud! OH YEEEEAH!_

Niki: BLEH! DAMMIT MATT!

Matt: Give me your honest opinion. Does it make your soul wanna jump, jive, and wail like the best of them!?

Niki: It makes me want to jump, vomit, and punch you in the windpipe! Now go home!

Matt: Then I'll just have to try harder. I will make you a fan...OF THE PEPPER!

Niki: NO!

Matt (singing): _Lil' Sweet sliding backwards out of the room_. _IT'S THE SWEET ONE!_

Niki: And I'm sure that's the last I'll hear of this.

The next morning.

Niki meets Noah on the set.

Noah: Did you hear?

Niki: What?

Noah: The show got sued hard by Dr. Pepper.

Niki: WHAT?! ALREADY?!

Noah: Yeah.

Niki: Wait, how? We didn't even have the product. It was gross chicken mud in a can!

Noah: Yeah, the Lawyers didn't see it that way. That's not the worst part...

Noah opens his jacket to reveal his shirt that says "I'm A Pepper".

Noah: They now own the show.

Niki: Oh no, do we have to wear those?

Noah: Yup.

Elle walks up.

Elle: Nice shirt. I'm more of a Mr. Pibb girl myself.

Two men in suits come up and drag Elle away.

Elle: AHHH! WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID!?

Niki: Dammit! This is all Matt's fault! I...

A bird flies out of Niki's mouth.

Niki: BLEH!

Noah: ….Not gonna ask.

 **Matt: Previously on Heroes...**

Joanne Collins meets up with Molly Walker at the airport. Molly Walker doesn't look much like Molly Walker.

Molly: You really think this guy is going to help you?

Joanne: Of course!

Joanne Collins boards a plane to Australia, on a mission to search for...

She opens a folder with Sylar's picture in it.

Former Sullivan Carnivalite, Edgar, is also on the plane.

Edgar: I can help you find him.

Joanne and Edgar track Sylar to a restaurant and nab him. Sylar realizes he has obtained Edgar's powers...

Sylar: Finally!

And speeds off.

Sylar: Why are you two hunting me down?

Joanne: I'm working for someone who wants to bring you in. It's an opportunity to save the world or something. I'm just doing it since she promised to rid my son of powers because I hate people with powers.

Edgar: Same exact reason. Sort of. Not really.

Sylar: Hmm...okay (to Joanne) let's do yours first. Back to America Land!

Hiro: It sure is great being back from the afterlife.

Elle: Hiro, you and Mohinder come with me to stop my dad.

Elle shoots Bob Bishop.

Hiro: AHHHH!

Elle: It's fine, we was an evil shape shifter.

Nathan: As the Grim Reaper, I've come across several shape shifters posing as Bob Bishop. It's probably a trap.

Elle: From who? Who I say!

Quintin: Hi, names Quintin Frady. My sister is being help captive at The Company by Erica Kravid.

Elle: I'm on the case!

Luke Collins: I'm here at Powers Anonymous, my wife doesn't know I have a power. And she hates all people with powers except our son.

Miko Otomo: I'm a videogame character.

Nathan: Still Death.

Miko: Something is wrong. Ronin Warriors from my game are attacking!

Elle: So we're teaming up and searching for Micah.

Zach: He's been kidnapped and Molly's gone missing. We have to hunt the digital monsters expelled from the Evernow Source Code game at Erica's headquarters. As well as the real monsters that have turned because someone is bad at their Grim Reaping Job.

Nathan: Why is everyone looking at me?

Matt: Niki or Tracy, since you both are the same person now. Can someone help me do my work as Angela Petrelli's new secretary?

Clones of Harris-Prime, Erica's right hand man, attack the building.

Tracy: Quick through the Toilet!

Matt: EW!

Claire: Hi Dad.

Noah: You have kids in the future.

Claire: Going to get them now.

Noah: I trust you won't bring them back to any type of danger.

Claire, Peter, Noah and Angela bring her kids, Tommy and Malina, back into danger. The Harris clones wait for them.

Claire: OOPS!

Tommy Malina escape.

Matt: Come with us. We'll help!

Caspar: The name's Caspar Abraham, I'm into Pennies.

Niki: That's nice.

Caspar separates Niki and Tracy into back into separate people with the power of pennies.

Niki: Still don't understand how you did that.

Caspar: I'll keep the kids safe by taking them to...

Sandra Bennet (opening the door): Sandra Bennet's House!

Malina: Is...that how you normally greet people.

The phone rings. Sandra picks it up.

Sandra: Sandra Bennet's Phone!

Malina: I guess she does. Okay then.

Janice Parkman (to West Rosen): I want you on my Law Squad! We're taking down this person...Erica Kravid.

West goes undercover and gets a job at The Company Game division. He meets Ando.

Ando: Don't mind the 24 hour work shift that we're forced to work thanks to revitalizing gas, and implants that force us to come back if we decide to escape.

Janice: We have a case!

West: Returning to work now. (West bails out of her car).

Erica: Good evening. I'm Erica Kravid. I am CEO of The Company and will be your villain this season.

Noah: Uh huh.

Erica: And this is Molly Walker. She works for me.

Claire: That looks nothing like Molly Walker.

Erica: Molly?

Molly: Yes.

Erica: There you go. It's Molly.

Noah: Well, I'm convinced.

Claire: Now we're in Company Prison.

Angela: Bob Bishop! You're alive!

Bob: Yes, and Erica Kravid is concocting a plan to use a popular online videogame to release an electronic virus that will rid the world of powers, which she plans to sell back to the public for profit. She will do this with Molly Walker's power of location, Sylar's power of ability extraction, Claire's twins to power the special device she is going to use to release the Virus, and Elle to be a power amplifier. She must be stopped.

Angela: And Peter brought a younger version of me back from the past. Too bad it was a pregnant version of me.

Peter vanishes from existence.

Angela: And here comes the baby!

Noah: I'm still stunned that everybody seems to think that this isn't a big deal.

Claire: I'm going to go undercover here at the Company and take this person down. Rene is working here and Micah Sanders hooked up to a device.

Zach From Season 1: Micah is hooked up to the game, and likely communicating with the game to expel enemies and monsters from that world.

Miko: We have to go into the game and save him. Nathan, if you come with me...I think we can save Micah, stop the invasion, and might be able to relieve you as the harbinger of Death.

Nathan: Sounds good.

Emily: Elle's been kidnapped by one of those monster things.

Zach: Then we're off to The Company.

-End Previouslies-

On an airplane back to The United States. Joanne is reading a different magazine (with Sylar's face on the cover), Edgar is listening to music on his phone, Sylar has an eye mask on as he tries to sleep.

Joanne: Why are you on all these magazine covers?

Sylar: I was going to be America's Next Top Model...but I fell off the catwalk and got bit in the neck by a snake.

Joanne: I'm sorry I asked.

Sylar: So, tell me about this family of yours. It will help me go to sleep.

Joanne: Real nice. My husband's name is Luke, for the longest time I had no idea why our son had these...powers. But I guess it makes sense, being hereditary. I don't know why he didn't tell me.

Sylar: Aren't you trying to kill people who have abilities?

Joanne: Yes. And if he only would have been honest with me, I would have killed him too! -Sigh-...Some men can be so selfish.

Sylar: Uhhhh...okay whatever. And your kid?

Joanne: Dennis, we found out pretty early on he had abilities. It would be one thing if people were hiding them from the public, but now that they're so well known now thanks to that stupid Cheerleader.

Sylar: Yes, her flinging herself off the Ferris Wheel. I forgot she did that.

Joanne: I ran into her not too long ago and tried to kill her. Too bad she got away.

Sylar: Yeah, she's good at that.

Joanne: Now people with abilities are hated and hunted...I've become one of the hunters. I don't know...it's a mess and it's all HER fault. I should get back out there and try killing her again.

Sylar: Good luck with that, I've been trying for years. Though I've switched sides from bad to good back to bad so many times over the years I just got over it. I just always wanted her power of immortality. Though now...maybe I can finally have it.

Sylar looks over to see Joanne fast asleep with his sleeping mask.

Sylar: Rude.

Edgar is text messaging someone on his phone.

 **Incoming text message from Zach**

 **Z: We've run out of time. We are heading to The Company. Where are you?**

Edgar starts texting him back.

 **E: Just now got up in the air. Hit some detours. I got him but also an uninvited guest. I'll need to think of way to ditch her.**

 **Z: Whatever you have to do. Kravid has Molly, Micah, and now Elle. Sylar and The Twins are the missing pieces. We cannot let her have him. When do you think you'll be back?**

Edgar looks at his watch, then goes back to his phone to text him back.

 **Chapter Six "Twenty Hours To New York"**

 **E: Twenty Hours until we reach New York. Sorry...autocorrect.**

Edgar puts away his phone.

 **Claire Bennet  
The Company Videogame Division**

Claire is watching as Micah is hooked up to a mysterious device. Rene is overseeing things.

Claire: So, Rene. How long have you been doing this.

Rene: Roughly a day, maybe more. Hard to tell since we don't sleep here.

Claire: Yeah, West mentioned something like that but I was kinda drifting in and out of the conversation. Something about a gas that lets you never fall asleep.

Rene: Yes, the gas they release revitalizes your entire body. You do not need sleep with it.

Claire: Boy, I could have used THAT in high school. It was so hard balancing classes and being an Ace Detective...

 **Previously...on Claireonica Mars**

Claire: It sure is hard balancing classes and being an Ace Detective. Now to solve the mystery of who is going to take me to the Prom.

She holds up a giant magnifying glass...which is just a mirror.

Claire: Oh crap...I'M THE KILLER! Wait...nobody died!

The Police drag Claire away.

Claire: I was framed!

Elle is watching this elsewhere.

Elle: That is MY show! Who does she think she is!?

Crew Member: You're wanted on the set, Claire Voyance.

Elle: Finally!

Elle hops off her chair and walks away.

Claire looks down and sees a note from Rene who has left.

 **Still listening**.

Claire: That's just lazy!

 **Noah, Niki, Tracy and Matt  
The Company Bathroom**

Niki: Sooo...what's the game plan here? Now that our powers are defunct, Tracy can't do Ice things, I can't get angry, and Matt can't be more useless than usual!

Matt: Says the person who wasn't able to solve the mystery of who was going to take me to the Prom.

Matt picks up a magnifying glass/mirror.

Matt: AHHH! I'm the Killer!

The Police drag Matt away.

Matt: Wait! I had my fingers crossed! It didn't count!

Niki: Anyway...Noah?

Noah: Well...we need to stop Erica. So we have to find her office.

Niki: Wouldn't you know where it is? Would it be the office you worked it?

Noah: No...her office changes around every couple of hours.

Niki: That's stupid! Why would she do that!?

Noah: Oh, it came with the building. It was something I had installed for my benefit.

Niki: Okay then...that answers my question. I guess.

Tracy: I think we should split up.

Noah: Good idea. Tracy, you come with me. I might have the best way to figure out where Erica's office is and we'll be able to survive. Niki and Matt...you two kids have fun. Bye!

Noah and Tracy leave the bathroom.

Niki: HEY!

Niki looks over to a nearby broom closet, she swings the door open.

Matt: …..Sandra Bennet's House?

Niki: Ugh...come on.

She grabs Matt and drags him.

Matt: WAAAHH!

A security cam footage from Erica's desk shows Claire looking around, Noah and Tracy walking down one hallway while Matt and Niki walk down another. They manage to get off screen before Erica returns to her desk.

 **A giant Dr. Pepper can rotates slowly in the vastness of Space...**

 **Dr. Pepper proudly presents:  
(HEROES)  
= = = = = = = = = = **

Claire: What the hell was that?!

Niki: It's Matt's fault!

 **Nineteen Hours To New York**

Sylar: Did you take my headphones!?

Joanne: No! These are mine! They came with the ticket.

Sylar: But...we didn't pay for tickets. We snuck on board.

Joanne: So my ticket was free. And with my ticket comes...these headphones. Where are your headphones?

Sylar: How should I know?!

Joanne: That sounds like a personal problem. Press your call button and get more if you want them so badly.

Sylar: Still think you stole mine. What are you watching?

Joanne: If its any of your business. I'm watching the in flight movie

 **This Summer...Liam Neeson stars in..."TAiken"**

Clay Aiken is hiding under the bed, he's on the phone with Liam Neeson.

Clay: Liam Neeson, whatever am I going to do if these captors find me? Oh, _if I was invisible!_

Liam: I don't know who you are...but if you don't let him go...I have a particular set of skills. I will find you...and I will kill you.

Clay: What are you talking about?! I HAVEN'T BEEN CAPTURED YET!

Joanne: I don't know...the first nine movies were fine, but I'm really starting to think they're running out of people to take from him.

Clay (tied to a chair): GASP! Liam Neeson!

Liam: Yes...it was I who captured you.

Joanne: He was the taker this time?! OOH! A TWIST! And now I'm back in.

She turns to Sylar.

Joanne: Shut up!

Sylar: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!

Edgar: Okay, while you two kids are having your spat, I'm going to run to the restroom.

Edgar gets up and starts walking to the back of the plane.

Edgar: Something...feels off.

Meanwhile, Claire waves her hands in front of Micah, who appears to be asleep.

Claire: Hellooo...Micah? Hmm...this isn't good.

Claire walks back over to Rene.

Claire: So Rene...want to help me spring Micah from here? I've already been filled in on the gist of what's going on here and none of it sounds good.

Rene: Can't. We must comply with our orders to fulfill Erica Kravid's goal.

Claire: Aren't you impervious to all this? You can't make anybody forget what they're doing here?

Rene: No...my powers are not able to work while in here. Due to the power dampener that is in this building.

Claire: Well, it's not a very good one since MY powers still work.

Claire takes a letter opener and stabs herself with it.

Claire: OW!

The wound is not healing.

Claire: Ruh Roh.

At West and Ando's desk.

West: You say your implant doesn't work? So you can leave here at any time?

Claire: Yes! I thought it was my power but I just tried stabbing myself and now I'm all bleedy and things.

Ando: Well, that would make sense. The power dampener only affects the inside of the building. If we tried to leave, our implants would make us come back. All you have to do is leave and you should be back to normal.

Claire: Well, that won't do any of us good. How did you two get caught up in all this anyway?

Ando: I like videogames.

West: I'm into Law.

Claire: Okay, that explains about everything.

Claire's phone rings.

Claire: Claire Bennet's Phone!

Bob: Hey Claire, it's Bob Bishop.

Claire: Yes?

Bob: I'm still here with Angela at the hospital. Um...would you mind coming here? We have a situation.

Claire: I'm on my way...since I'm really no use here.

Claire looks over to see two notes from Ando and West that read "Still Listening".

Claire: UGH!

Claire catches West in the hallway as she's walking out.

Claire: You're coming with me.

West: But I haven't started working yet!

Upstairs.

Matt: This room looks kind of interesting. Do you think it's her office?

Niki: How should I know?! What are we supposed to do...just find her and punch her or what?

Matt examines some books on the shelf.

Matt: One of these must be a key to a hidden passage.

Matt pulls out one of the books. The door to the room locks.

Niki: Uhhh...

The room starts slowly filling with water.

Matt: I KNEW IT! Niki, didn't I always say if I ever picked up a book it would lead to our deaths?

Niki: -Sigh-...yes, I do remember you telling me that. Just help me find a way out.

Edgar is on his way back from the restroom. He decides to walk further down the aisle.

Edgar: Are we...the only ones on this plane?!

Edgar makes his way back to Sylar and Joanne, who are sharing the headphones.

-Movie-

Liam Neeson is tied to a chair.

Clay Aiken: AHA! It would seem that the tables have turned...for it is I who has taken you!

Sylar: Man, this is getting good.

Joanne: I told you!

Edgar: HEY!

Joanne: What?

Edgar: We're the only passengers on this plane.

Joanne: ….who cares? It happens. Leave us alone.

Edgar: It still seems weird. I'm going to go talk to the Pilot.

Edgar makes his way to the cockpit.

Edgar: No stewards or stewardesses either.

Edgar knocks on the cockpit door.

Pilot: Yes?

Edgar: Hi...I have a question. Are we supposed to be the only three passengers on the plane? There's nobody here.

Pilot: Well, you three didn't pay for your ticket's so I wouldn't complain.

Edgar: Oh yeah, I forgot we did that. So...is it just you?

Pilot: Yep. It's just me...you...and your friend...and your other friend Sylar.

Edgar: I can't help but to wonder why you pointed out Sylar by name.

Pilot: Oh, because I recognize him. He killed one of my friends way back when to take his power. And I'm going to make sure he doesn't make it off this flight.

Edgar: Okie dokie then.

Edgar (back at his seat, to Sylar and Joanne): So...the Pilot has a grudge because you killed one of his friends.

Sylar: My fingers were crossed, it didn't count. That's a thing, right?

Joanne: It's how I've been able to get away with all my murders.

Sylar: See?!

Edgar: Yeah, that's nice. We need to find a way off this plane before this guy kills us...so stop with your stupid movie.

Joanne and Sylar ignore him and go back to watching "TAiken". Liam Neeson and Clay Aiken are both in chairs.

Clay: Well, isn't this quite the pickle we're in.

Liam: I enjoy pickles. I will find them...and I will eat them.

Clay: It's...just a saying...oh forget it. My word, how long is this movie!?

Sylar: DAMMIT! A third Taker?! When did THAT happen?

Joanne: Ugh, now I'm completely lost.

Back at The Company.

Noah (opening a door): Ugh, this one isn't it either.

Tracy: Hey Noah, this door has a giant "K" on it. Do you think it could be her office.

Noah walks over and opens the door into Erica's office.

Noah: Go figure it's the last one we check.

They walk in and look around.

Tracy: Noah, do you have anything to use for defense. I can't use my powers.

Noah: And I don't have a gun.

Tracy: I know a little Karate...

Noah: No worries...I have a Black Belt in Krav Maga.

Noah throws a fake punch...

SNAP!

Noah: AHHHHHH!

Tracy: What was that?!

Noah: I think I just tore my ACL.

Tracy: I'm...pretty sure that's just in your leg.

Noah and Tracy hear the door begin to open.

Harris-928: Ms. Kravid, we have returned with our report.

Tracy: Crap...

Noah: Quick! Over here.

Noah jumps behind the desk and Tracy sits down in Erica's chair, spinning it around to face away from the Harris clones walking in.

Tracy: Yes, what is your report?

Harris-222: Our report is that we have nothing new to report.

Tracy: Excellent. Keep up the good work.

Harris-222: Did she just pay us a compliment?

Harris-928: That IS a little suspicious.

Tracy: ...uh...that is what I would say if you fools weren't so incompetent. Ha, Ha, Ha?

Harris-222: Okay, nah, that's her. Let's go.

The Harris clones leave. Noah gets up.

Noah: I'm going to check the bathroom.

Tracy: Ok, I'm going to look around her desk, see if I can find anything.

Noah walks over to the bathroom and opens the door to find Erica.

Erica: HEY! YOU...

Noah clamps his hand over her mouth and makes his way into the bathroom.

Tracy: Noah...is that...

The office door opens again. Tracy quickly sits down and spins the chair around.

Harris-222: Ms. Kravid, is everything alright?

Tracy: Yes it is, thank you!...Fools! Ha, ha, ha.

Harris-222: Great! Listen, our meeting is about to start, so we'll be waiting for you in the conference room. I'll wait here and hold the door open for you.

Tracy: Uh...uhhhh...

Tracy rolls the chair away from the desk and glides across the room, Continuing to face away from the Harris Clone as she rolls across the room.

Tracy: I got the door.

Harris-222: Okay, Ms. Kravid. Just take those stairs down 4 floors and the conference room will be on your right. I'll be right in front of you the entire time.

Tracy: Ugh...!

Erica (to Noah): What the HELL are you doing here?

Noah: Taking back my Company and shutting you down.

Erica: Like hell!

Erica rips a towel bar off the wall. Noah rips a different towel bar off the wall.

Noah: This ends now!

Erica and Noah cling their towel bars in a fight to the death.

 **Eighteen Hours To New York**

Sylar and Joanne meet up with Edgar at the cockpit door.

Sylar (knocking): Hey Buddy...I was hoping we could talk. My traveling companion here tells me you have a grudge against someone named Sylar. Well, I assure you that I'm not him. That is my evil twin brother.

Joanne: You honestly don't think that's going to work, do you?!

Sylar: It's not if you're screaming "YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S GOING TO WORK, DO YOU?!" at the top of your lungs!

Pilot: Sorry, pal. I know you killed my friend back in the day...and I never forget a face.

Sylar: But I was evil back then...and then turned good then back to evil...did that a few times...but now I'm good again.

Pilot: Doesn't matter to me, I hope retrieving his power was worth it.

Sylar: It wasn't! Don't you see, I lost the power years ago! So his death was meaningless!

Edgar: Oooh...

Joanne shakes her head.

Sylar: Not the right thing to say?

Edgar: I think not, mate...

Pilot: Oh, really nice. Well, enjoy your flight. If I can get the passengers to look out their window, you'll see us heading towards a mountain. Have fun!

The plane stars filling up with gas.

Joanne: Well, that's not good.

Edgar: Says the woman who got the window seat.

Joanne: That doesn't have...anything...

He, Joanne and Sylar all pass out.

Claire and West get to the hospital.

West: I don't know about this Claire, if I'm not back to work by 5pm...I'm going to run away.

Claire: Yeah, yeah...got it. Oh, there's Bob.

Bob Bishop is standing outside.

Claire: Bob! What happened? Is everything alright?

Bob: Well...yes...then no.

Claire: Uh...Yes?

Bob: Angela had the baby.

Claire: I know that.

Bob: Bad...well...he's gone.

Claire: Uh...what?

Bob: Someone took Peter. I don't know what happened.

Flashback!

Angela: Well...that was interesting. I'm ready to see my baby. (To Bob) Take me to the Baby Department!

Bob: I'm...pretty sure it's not called that, but off we go!

Angela gets in a wheelchair and they make their way to where baby Peter is being held.

Angela: He has his father's eyes.

Morticia Adams walks up.

Morticia: Gomez...get those out of his mouth.

Gomez Adams: Yes, Mon Cherie...Oh the fire!...The passion!...You radiate it!

He starts kissing her up the arm.

Morticia: Oh Gomez...it is getting awfully warm in here.

A hand crawls up on Morticia's shoulder and starts cooling her off with a folded paper fan.

Morticia: Thank you, Thing.

Bob: UHHH...

Angela: Bob, please wheel me away from these weirdos!

Bob wheels Angela five feet over to Peter's bed actually is. There lies an empty crib with a note on it that says.

" **Still doing baby things"**

Bob: So precious...

Angela: GAAAAH! What happened to my baby!?

A mysterious man is walking down the hallway carrying baby Peter. He gets into the elevator.

Claire: Babynapping?! This looks like a job for Claireonica Mars.

West: What happened to Claire Voyance?

Claire: The Old Claire Voyance can't come to the phone right now...BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD!

Claire storms up to the hospital doors and swings them open.

Claire: AHHHH!

Claire gets creamed by an oncoming Ambulance. West runs to her aid.

West: Claire! Is the new Claire Voyance able to come to the phone, or is she dead too?

Claire: Quiet, you!

Bob: That's the hospital garage, Claire. The entrance to the hospital is next to it.

Claire: Well, that's stupid. Come on, West!

Claire and West walk in and see the elevator doors open to the man carrying Peter...

Claire: THERE!

The man hops back in the elevator.

Claire: Crap! Up the stairs!

They take off running.

Back at The Company. Tracy (as Erica, sitting in a chair, turned around facing away from everyone) is stuck in a board meeting.

Harris-8273: I do believe these projections are going up!

Harris-2991: But enough about that, it's Pam's birthday! Pam from accounting. Come on, everyone! Let's go to the 11th floor...the elevators may be out but our spirit isn't!

Tracy: UGH!

Niki and Matt are wading in the water that is filling up the room.

Niki: Still on the cusp of drowning. Fun times.

Matt: Don't worry Niki, we're saved. There's an elderly man floating on that pool table over there.

Niki: What?

Niki turns to see a floating pool table with an old man sitting on top of it.

Old: Greetings, my young friends.

Matt: Aw man...why wasn't there a pool table when I worked here?

Niki: You never worked here.

Matt: You sure about that? I'm pretty positive all of the main cast worked at The Company at some point. Even Muggles!

Niki: You're full of it. Sir...can you help us on your pool table!?We seem to be in peril.

Old: Of course...but only if you answer me these riddles three.

Niki: What?

Old: I am...The Riddle Master.

Matt: I love riddles!

Niki: Just let us on your damn table, you crone!

 **Sixteen Hours To New York**

Edgar wakes up and looks at his watch.

Edgar: Bloody hell, we've been out for two hours.

Joanne (waking up): Two hours...I thought we were supposed to hit a mountain?! How slow is this plane going?!

Edgar bursts into the cockpit and doesn't find the Pilot anywhere.

Edgar: He must have had a parachute and jumped.

Sylar (just waking up) and Joanne enter the cockpit.

Joanne: Well, do any of you rubes know how to fly this thing?

Edgar takes a hold of the flight stick, it snaps off. The plane begins to descend.

Edgar: Gonna go with no.

Joanne: Well, that's just great! Now what do we do?!

Sylar: Well, we're over the ocean now, so...sink?

Joanne: Wonderful.

Sylar: You would think there would be some sort of autopilot.

Sylar starts fidgeting with the controls. The plane starts to spin.

Joanne: What the?!...AHH!

The plane spins to its side, Sylar clings onto the Pilot's chair as Edgar and Joanne fall to the side wall of the cockpit.

Joanne: What did you do?!

Sylar: I don't know! I just swapped some wires around...

Edgar: Well, swap them back before we crash!

The plane begins to spin out of control. Edgar and Joanne roll over to the ceiling of the cockpit, followed by rolling to the side then back to the floor.

Edgar: ACK!

Joanne: OOF!

Sylar loses his grip and falls to the ceiling with Edgar and Joanne.

Sylar: AHH! OW!

Edgar: Speed back over there and try to do something!

Sylar: Alright, alright!

Time slows down as Sylar quickly crawls along the wall. He jumps over to the Pilot's chair and puts on a seat belt.

Sylar: Everything is going to be okay. I have a seat belt on!

Joanne: What about us!?

Joanne and Edgar slam on the ground.

Joanne: GUFF!

Sylar: Well, I don't think we'll all fit in this seat belt...I can suck in my gut...but I'll warn you...I've been doing a lot of Pilates lately...I'm in pretty good shape...might not be able to make much room.

Joanne: Move it!

Joanne sits in the chair with Sylar and looks around, she then looks out the windshield of the plane.

Joanne: That's...water isn't it.

Sylar: Pretty sure...can't tell you the last time I've been around water.

Joanne: EWWW!

Sylar: I meant the Ocean! I bathe!...cough...on holidays...

Joanne: Brace...

SPLAAAAAAAAASH!

Sylar, Joanne and Edgar slam against the windshield.

Joanne: For...impact...

Sylar: What the...did you unbuckle my seat belt?!

Joanne: Of course I did!

Claire and West are out of breath by the time they reach the second floor.

Claire: Oh, it's hopeless. How many floors does this hospital have?

West looks at the directory.

West: Two.

Claire: Oh, good...we made it then.

Claire and West run over to the elevator, expecting the culprit. Claire gets in a threatening pose.

Claire: We're ready...(she looks at West)...what is that?

West: Hm...

Claire: That's not a threatening pose!

West throws his hands to the sides of his face.

Claire: Now you're doing 'Vogue'! That's not going to scare anybody off.

West: I used it on my one man Broadway show..."West Side Story"...it's a play on words...since it sounds like...you know...

Claire: …..West...Side...Story?

West: No...that was my play.

Claire: That was the name of the actual play...you just ripped off the name!

West: No, theirs was called "Wes Side Story".

Claire: It most certainly was not!

West: I'll show you...And this culprit my intimidating battle dancing.

West starts Vogueing in the middle of the hospital.

Claire: Pathetic! You're messing with a Pro Cheerleader here. Let me show you how "dancing" is really done.

Claire clasps her hands over an imaginary churn, then starts to "churn" counter clockwise.

Claire: Churning the butter!

Claire churns the butter while West Vogues...the man who is watching all this quickly closes the elevator.

Claire: CRAP ! DOWNSTAIRS! DOWNSTAIRS!

Claire and West take off running back towards the stairwell.

In the elevator, the man panics.

Man: Man...why did this hospital have to have two floors? I really don't think we're gonna make it out of here.

The elevator doors open to Claire and West (out of breath).

Claire: Huff...puff...Stop...You...uh...

Claire gets a good look at the man. It is Peter as an adult.

Claire: PETER!?

West: Called it.

Claire: You called nothing!

Peter (holding baby Peter): Hey Claire. West.

West: Peter.

Peter: Despite my running away, those were some slick dance moves you two had upstairs.

Claire: I know that! YOU on the other hand...better start talking!

Niki, frustrated, is still wading in the water. Matt and the elderly man are on the pool table.

Matt: I know you will answer of these riddles, Niki. You just got to believe.

Niki: I believe...I'm going to drill a hole in that pool table.

Old Man: Okay, Niki...Riddle 53..."Why Is A Raven Like A Writing Desk?"

Niki: Because I'm giving you both "the bird?"

Old Man: I'm sorry...incorrect.

Matt: It's "23" Niki...everybody knows that!

Niki: What does the number 23 have to do with Raven's or Writing Desks!? This is stupid...we're all going to drown eventually. I don't want on your stupid table anyway.

There is the sound of someone trying to come into the room. There is a knock on the door.

Niki: Somebody is trying to get in...do we yell for help?

Matt: ….What do you say...Riddle Master?

Niki: He is NOT The Riddle Master!

There is more knocking.

Niki: We are technically trying to hide from people...but if someone worked here they wouldn't be knocking correct?

Matt: Hmm...What do YOU think, Riddle Master?

Niki: I'm swimming away now.

Niki: Here goes...HELP! We're stuck in this room! Please don't be someone who works here!

Voice: Is...is that...Niki Sanders?

Niki: Uh...Who is this?

Voice: It's Janice! Janice Parkman!

Niki turns to Matt.

Matt: Tell her I'm not here.

Niki: Janice! You have to get us out of here! The room is filling with water! I'm here with Matt. You don't have to save him but at least save me! I'm too important to be killed off this early in the season!

Janice: Okay...just...wait right there. I'll find something.

 **Fifteen Hours To New York**

Edgar: I found a raft!

Joanne: Great, maybe we can float to land...wherever that is.

Edgar: Use your GPS on your phone.

Joanne: I don't get cell service out in the middle of the ocean.

Edgar: You don't?...Hmm...okay...

Joanne: Nobody does...right?

Sylar shrugs.

Edgar opens the back door of the plane to the Ocean.

Edgar: Okay...here we go.

Joanne: Um...don't we need to blow up the raft?

Edgar: This guy (he hands the raft to Sylar).

Sylar: What am I supposed to do?

Edgar: Fill er' up.

Sylar: What, with super speed air breathing?

Edgar: ….Yeah, actually.

Sylar: I'm starting to get the feeling you two are only using me for my powers.

Edgar: No.

Joanne: Yes.

Edgar and Joanne look at each other.

Edgar: No.

Joanne: …...Yes.

Sylar: I refuse.

Edgar: Then give me back my power and I'll do it.

Sylar: No.

Edgar: Then start airing up!

Sylar: Whatever, give me that. Watch a pro show you how its done.

Sylar takes in a deep breath and passes out.

Joanne: Worthless!

Edgar: Let's just get this done.

Back at the hospital.

Peter: See...I made a really big mistake.

West: You went back in time and brought a younger version of Angela to the present who was pregnant with you.

Peter: Yes...and it's causing all sorts of problems...

Claire: I can't believe my dad didn't say anything! How careless!

Peter: So Hiro has been bouncing around the past trying to fix things and everything is getting kinda messed up.

Claire: So...why haven't we been messed up yet?

Peter: He's been pretty careful to make sure this timeline isn't affected.

Claire: Why just THIS time...that doesn't make any sense!

Peter: Because TIME, Claire! I don't know! All that matters is that I have to bring this baby back to the past when Angela delivered it.

Claire: What about the Angela who delivered it? She's upstairs.

Peter: Hopefully she'll disappear then go back to her time...and then the pieces will fall into place.

Claire: Why not just go into the past and stop the present Peter from going back to the Past to bring Angela back to the Present?!

Peter: That's too dangerous. Me holding the baby version of myself is risky enough as it is...if Past Baby Peter and Current Peter are in the same room with me, Future Peter...that would destroy the universe. At least that's how I'm pretty sure it works.

Future Hiro pops in.

Hiro: Peter...and The Cheerleader...and West! Hi West!

West: Hi Hiro!

Hiro: You have the child. Good. Okay, I'll take him back to the past...hopefully everything will go back to normal.

Claire: Is anything going to change with our timeline...as in "here"..."right now"...?

Hiro: Nah.

Claire: NAH!?

Hiro: But even if I bring the baby back...or try to stop Present Peter...that will still cause many exploding Butterflies.

West: That sounds tragic...but pretty.

Claire: Why don't you go back to before Peter went to the past?

Hiro: Too much has been undone. Now we have to stop him at the point where he enters the past. Future Peter would risk destroying the universe...and if I personally stop him while in the past, it will erase me, but erase the future timeline where I come back to the past to stop him...and then the universe will be ripped to shreds anyway. Oh the conundrum.

Claire: NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE!

Hiro: But...You!...You, Cheerleader. If you could stop him...yes...that would be perfect. Everything would realign perfectly.

Claire: Uh...how?

Hiro: That's it. I'll drop you off in the past.

Claire: Ugh...

Hiro: And you stop Peter from bringing Angela back to the present. Then the Universe and our future will be safe.

Claire: Whatever, I'm over this. Let's just get this done with.

West: Can I come?

Hiro: Sure, the more the merrier!

Claire: This can't possibly end well.

Peter: Good luck, you two!

Hiro teleports Claire and West back to the past with Baby Peter. Angela is not in the bed...

Hiro: What...what happened?

Claire: ...Is...Angela supposed to be here?

Hiro: I don't get it. We would bring Peter back here, you would stop Peter from bringing this Angela back to the present.

Claire: Why didn't we just bring Angela back here...or better yet...why did we bring Peter back at all. Won't just stopping him undo all of this?

Hiro: It would but there are too many rifts now...Peter undoing his existence caused a TON of trouble.

Claire: Okay.

Hiro: Uh oh...something's not right...I...I...

Hiro fades out of existence.

Claire: GUH!

West: Hmm...that's not good.

Claire: Where is Peter...? Did we show up after he already got her?!

West: I'm not very good with Time things.

The Doctor comes in.

Doctor: Mrs. Petrelli, you shouldn't be out of bed! You just got through having your baby.

Claire: My what-ey!?

Doctor: Here, we'll take the baby and everything will be fine. You just relax and just prepare to pay your hefty bill.

The Doctor guides Claire to the bed.

Doctor (to West and Claire): Congratulations, 'Mom and Dad'!

Claire and West: UHHHH...

The Doctor leaves the room.

West: Hmm...

Claire: I told you bringing you back to the past was a bad idea.

West: ME?!

Claire: Well...we're stuck in the past and everyone here thinks I gave birth to my own Uncle. I'm sure this won't negatively impact the present.

West: …...nah.

 **Fourteen Hours To New York**

Sylar wakes up on the raft.

Sylar: What happened?

Edgar: You inhaled too fast. Rookie mistake.

Joanne: What he means is that your insolence costed us previous time.

Sylar: I liked his better.

Joanne: Ugh...where are we even going?

Edgar: Looks like the sea will have to direct us back home.

Joanne: I thought you said your phone has GPS or whatever.

Edgar: Only on Holidays.

Joanne: Worthless...both of you.

 **Thirteen Hours To New York**

Joanne: Ugh...how long have we been floating.

Edgar: I think it's been an hour...maybe a day...my watch only works on weekends.

Joanne: Does any of your things work!?

KABOOOOOM!

Joanne: AHHH! What was that?!

Sylar: It sounded like something splashed in the ocean...

KABOOOOOOM!

A giant wave of water splashes them.

Joanne: BLEH! What is happening...?!

Edgar: Those are...cannonballs? We're being attacked by Pirates!

Joanne: That's just stupid! There's no such thing as Pirates.

Sylar, Joanne and Edgar are caught in a net. A man walks up to him.

Captain: Aye! I'm a Pirate and I've just nabbed the catch of the day.

Joanne: I think I hit my head too hard on that plane windshield.

Back at The Company, Janice sneaks around the corner holding a heavy book.

Janice: FOR THE LAW!

Janice bashes the book over one of the Harris Clones' head.

Janice runs back to the room.

Janice: I got a key card! Hold on...

Janice swipes the card and opens the doors quickly, letting the water pour out of the room. Niki slides on the floor face down up to Janice.

Niki: Thanks.

Matt: Janice.

Janice: Matt.

Matt: As you can see...I'm doing very well.

The Old Man walks up to them.

Old Man: Well...I've told you all the riddles I know...you, Matthew...are the New Riddle Master.

Matt: Finally!

Niki: Ugh...Janice...I appreciate you springing us out...but why are you here?

Janice: I'm looking for my associate, West. He went undercover here and something made him come back shortly after leaving. Something very off is going on here and I plan to stop it in order to further my career.

Niki: How did you get in?!

Janice: The...front door.

Matt: And we used the toilet like a bunch of dorks. Go figure, right!?

Niki: Let's just find Noah and end this.

 **Twelve Hours To New York**

On a Pirate Ship, in the Captain's Quarters...

Captain: Welcome...to the S.S. Jolly Rancher.

Sylar: Don't you mean Jolly Roger?

Captain: That one was taken...had to settle for this one. So...where are you landlubbers headed.

Joanne: New York.

Captain: Tell you what...I'll agree to let you go, on one condition.

Joanne squints her eyes as Sylar and Edgar exchange looks.

Joanne: And what is that?

Captain: You have to agree to become my Pirate Bride to be...and these two become members of my crew.

Joanne: UGH! For how long?

Captain: Um...forever?

Joanne: So then we're really NOT free.

Captain: No, I guess not.

Joanne: Well, that sucks. Let me talk this over with these two bozos.

Joanne: So...now what? I don't want to marry this creep!

Sylar: Excuse me, Pirate Sir...what if we refuse?

Captain: Then we chop you up and feed you to the crocodiles.

Sylar: That sounds less pleasant. One moment.

Edgar: Well, we can't afford to become Croc Food, and even your super power won't do us any good...

Sylar: Unless if I can speed around and knock everyone out.

Joanne: Good idea! You do that.

Sylar jumps out of his chair.

Joanne: …

Edgar: …

Sylar sits back down. He blinks a few times.

Sylar: Where am I...?...Who are you two supposed to be?

Edgar: ...uh...

Joanne: Seriously?! We don't have time for amnesia plots!

Noah: HYAAAAA!

Noah and Erica are still sword fighting with towel racks. He manages to knock the rack out of her hand. She kicks him in the stomach, sending him flying into the bathtub.

Noah: OOF!

Noah: Eat conditioner!...Wait...you have a full bathroom with a bathtub in here?!...Even I didn't have that!

Erica: Only the finest for those who deserve it. Hydrating Facial Moisturizer!

Erica opens a tube on the counter, Noah opens the shampoo and they start spraying each other with Bathroom Products.

Erica: AHHH!

Noah: BLEH!

Meanwhile, in the Olive Garden restaurant on the 15th floor.

Harris-98: It's so nice to take you out to lunch for Bosses day, Boss!

Tracy (still in the chair, facing away): Uh huh...

Waiter: Who had the Lasagna?

Tracy (she extends her arm): Here.

 **Ten Hours To New York**

Wedding Planner: Oh Jan, I must say you look marvelous in your wedding couture!

Joanne: It's JOANNE, and yeah, just great. Who supplied it, 'Long John Silver's'?

Joanne looks down on her dress to see the Long John Silver's Logo.

Joanne: I can't even with this.

Wedding Planner: And now...the final piece!

She attaches a bow to Joanne's hair.

Joanne: Is that a slab of fried fish!?

Wedding Planner: Only for your special day. I only with I was marrying the Captain instead of you...but alas, it wasn't meant to be.

Joanne: I didn't ask for your life story...wait, why is a Wedding Planner just here on a Pirate Ship?...Do you work here or what?

 **Eight Hours To New York**

Pirate Reverend: All rise!

Everyone attending the wedding stand up while Edgar and Sylar are busy swabbing the deck.

Edgar: I don't get why we were invited to the wedding.

Sylar: Can you catch me up?...I thought we were negotiating with the Captain about staying or being fed to crocodiles.

Edgar: Well, that amnesia trip didn't last long. What happened to you?

Sylar: I guess the power stealing is only temporary. I just lost it...my mind kinda went blank.

Edgar: So does that mean...I get it back...? Hmm...

Joanne is about to walk down the aisle, the "Flower Girl" throws fried fish crumbs in Joanne's face.

Joanne: BLEH!

Edgar drops his mop and runs off. One by one he takes a sword from a crew member and ties them up, he manages to make his way through the entire ship.

Captain: What is all this?!

Edgar: Sorry, this is my ship now.

Joanne: Good! Someone get me out of this stinky fish dress!

Pirate Reverend: Looks like this wedding is ruined...

Wedding Planner: I have an objection! This woman is not fit to marry our wonderful Captain.

Joanne: WHAT!?

Wedding Planner: For it is I, who has loved the Captain this entire time.

Captain: And it is I who has loved you too, Wedding Planner!

Joanne: HEY! Chopped liver has an objection!

Sylar: They call each other by their professions? That's weird, right?

Pirate Reverend: You may now kiss the bride.

While in restraints, The Captain kisses the Wedding Planner as everybody claps.

Edgar: Damn, weddings always get me a little misty eyed.

Joanne: Uh...You don't know any of these losers...who threatened to kill us mind you...and will somebody PLEASE get this fried fish out of my hair!? I'm starting to get ants!

Meanwhile, a Harris Clone knocks on the Bathroom door.

Harris-3: Is someone in there? Boss?

Erica: Get in here, please!

Noah: She's fine!

Erica pulls a shower cap over Noah's head.

Harris-3: Now, who am I supposed to believe!?

Erica: Just get in here!

The Harris clone bursts down the door to see Noah and Erica, mid tussle.

Harris-3: Boss, what are you doing here? You're currently at the Olive Garden on the 15th floor with your chair turned away from everyone.

Erica: I'M WHAT!?

Erica shoves Noah to the side.

Erica: Detain him!

She runs to her desk and gets on a microphone. She looks through monitors.

Erica: Attention! The Prisoners have escaped! And we have intruders! AND I'M OUT OF CONDITIONER!

Noah: HA!

Erica: Put this place on lock down immediately!

The sounds of locking doors and sirens start blaring through the halls. Matt, Niki and Janice realize...

Niki: ….we're stuck here.

Niki looks over to Matt drinking Dr. Pepper.

Niki: Where did you get that?! The new owners of the show made me drink that chicken mud at lunch today!

Niki slaps the can out of Matt's hand.

 **Six Hours To New York**

Edgar is manning the boat, making its way toward New York. Joanne is back in her normal clothes and she and Sylar join him.

Joanne: Well, that was unpleasant. I can't wait until I'm back on land.

Edgar: I agree.

Joanne: And this also puts a wrench in my plans. If power stealer over here can only take powers for a limited time, that does me ZERO good.

Sylar: I can always steal them again.

Joanne: Not my problem, we're going straight to the Company. I'm going to dump you off there, Erica will help we remove my son's powers...and all will be good.

Edgar: And what about my plan?

Joanne: Nobody cares.

Edgar: Well...that's where you're wrong. Don't forget, we are on different sides. So...sorry, luv...

Edgar quickly chloroforms both Sylar and Joanne.

 **New York**

The Pirate ship crashes on the beach. People run away screaming. Later, Edgar pulls up in a rental car and throws Sylar and Joanne in the back. He hops in the driver's seat and takes off. He makes a call.

Zach picks up.

Zach: Hey, where are you?

Edgar: Hit some major detours. Don't worry, I'm back in town.

Zach: And you have him?

Edgar: I got him and an unwanted guest.

Zach: Well...whatever you have to do...we can't let Kravid have Sylar. She already has Molly, Micah, and now Elle. We're on our way to The Company now. We've run out of time.

Edgar: Okay, what should I do?

Zach: Just lay low and keep them out of sight. I'll keep in touch.

Zach hangs up. He is currently in a car with Nathan, Miko, Hiro, Mohinder, Emily and Quintin. Heading towards The Company.

Quintin: So...is nobody going to question why we're all suddenly wearing Dr. Pepper shirts?...Anybody?...Okay then.

 **To Be Continued**


	7. The Missing Piece

**The Heroes Parody Project  
Season 6  
Chapter 7**

 **Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.**

Niki is washing dishes. She hears the door open.

Niki: Looks like school's out.

She looks at her Amazon Echo.

Niki: Alexa...play "Spongebob Squarepants".

A bunch of kids run through the kitchen.

Niki: Who the hell kids are these?!

Matt runs in.

Matt: They're friends from school, mom. Don't embarrass me!

Niki: I'm not your mother!

Elle (in the Amazon Echo): Now Playing Spongebob Squarepants.

Niki: Uh...What is this?

Elle: I'm Elle-exa. Your personal digital assistant.

Niki: Why are YOU in my Amazon Echo thingy?! Bring back Alexa! I don't have time for your nonsense.

Matt: Yo, Niki...kids in there are upset.

Niki: Why? They should be watching Spongebob.

Elle-exa: I had trouble picking an episode. I mean, they're all good. So I gave up and just started playing "Homeland".

Niki: HOMELAND!? That's not a kid's show!

Elle-exa: You sure?

Niki: Yes.

Matt: Now, hold on, Niki. Let's make sure. Elle-exa...What is "Homeland"?

Elle-exa: Beep Boop!...Homeland...is a show on Showtime...starring Claire Danes...it is a show about Homelands...and it's totally a kid's show.

Niki: NO IT'S NOT! You suck at this! Play something else!

Elle-exa: Now Playing..."True Detective"...

Niki: Get those kids out of my house before I get sued!

Matt: Fine!

Amazon Elle-exa...get one today!

Niki: Or don't! Get the good one!

 **Matt: Previously on Heroes...**

Niki: Oh no! This is awful. The room is filling up with water!

Matt: We're going to have to solve the puzzles in order to get out. But we'll need some puzzle solving music. Elle-exa...play some Led Zeppelin!

Elle-exa: Now playing "Lamb Chop's Greatest Hits"...

Matt: Also good! (singing) _This is the song that never ends! And it goes on and on my friend!_

Niki: Matt.

Matt: _Some people..started singing it not knowing what it was._

Niki: Matt.

Matt: _And they continued singing it forever just because..._

Niki: MATT!

Matt: What?

Niki: We have to get out of...wait...is this another Amazon Elle-exa commercial?

Matt: Of course. They almost always play these thing back to back. Sometimes back to back to back. One time I was watching TV and the commercials never stopped. Turned out I was watching the Alexa Channel, all Alexa Commercial's, 24/7! Though now that I think about it, who is that really for?

Niki: Well, they need to stop it. I don't want an Amazon Echo, Alexa or whatever. I also don't want a Lamb Chop!

Lamb Chop appears on Niki's shoulder.

Lamb Chop: Why not, Niki? You should buy them all...(it's eyes turn red)...OR ELSE!

Niki: AHHHHH!

Lamb Chop takes down Niki and flies up in Matt's face.

Matt: AHHH! NO! Don't get near me! I'm allergic to Polyester! Wait...or are you 100% cotton?

Lamb Chop: Cotton/Poly blend!

Matt: OH GOD! AHHHHHHHH!

Lamb Chop preys on Matt and Niki...

Amazon Elle-exa...get one today!

 **Matt: Previously on Heroes...**

Niki wakes up in a hospital. She is in a bed next to Matt's.

Matt: Ah...just like old times.

Niki: Oh no...if someone swapped our faces again, I'm burning down the planet.

The Doctor walks in.

Doctor: Ah, you two.

Niki: What did you do to my face?!

Doctor: Nothing...your face is fine. You two were mauled by...a puppet...but no major damage was done...

Niki: That's good.

Doctor: ….on the outside.

Niki: HUH!?

Doctor: You both have inhaled an abnormal amount of cotton fibers, which has heavily damaged your lungs.

Niki: That's a thing!?

Doctor: So I'm going to have to perform surgery. Alexa...how do you perform surgery?

Niki: Excuse me!?

Elle-exa: Now playing "How do you perform Surgery" by Kelly Clarkson.

Matt: Oh, I love this song!

Niki: Alexa, please terminate my contract so I can get off this show.

Elle-exa: Done!

Niki: ...Really?...That's it?

Meanwhile...in a studio somewhere.

Lamb Chop: That's right...for I am "Elle-exa"...heh, heh, heh...

 **Matt: Previously on Heroes...**

Joanne Collins, 'Hates People With Abilities For Hire'.

Joanne: Off to Australia to bring back Sylar for Erica Kravid who I'm working for. For reasons I don't care about and only to fix my son who has abilities which I hate.

Edgar, who doesn't have a last name, but used to work at a Carnival. So keeping with the theme...Meanwhile, 'Edgar Funnel Cakes' was...

Edgar: Please don't call me that.

Edgar (to Joanne): I can help you capture Sylar...and we're going to go ahead and do just that.

Famous YouTube Personality, Sylar Oakley.

Sylar: WHAT!?

Sylar: I finally got my powers back!...Then I lost them...What was even the point of all that!?

Edgar: Now that we're done with that Pirate Wedding, I have Joanne and Sylar in custody.

Zach From Season One (to Edgar): Stay hidden, we can't have Erica Kravid take Sylar. We have bigger fish to fry.

Elle Bishop: Who currently has a comfy job working at NCIS...

Niki: No she doesn't!

Elle: Now that I shot my dad, but it's okay because he was a smelly shape shifter and not really my dad. I'm off to solve more mysteries with my friends, Quentin...

Quentin Frady: Trying to save my sister!

Elle: Emily.

Emily: Personal Non-Digital Assistant!

Elle: And the rest!

Mohinder: Is that supposed to be us?

Hiro: Yeah, real nice!

Nathan: Still Death. Going to a 'Powers Anonymous' meeting where people talk their powers, I'm here to reap the soul of Miko Otomo.

Miko: Videogame Character.

Luke Collins: And I have the power of the sun!

Nathan: Well, Miko died, and I reaped her soul. But she's a videogame character and spawned back to life, so don't really see the purpose of any of this.

Meanwhile, someone else who just so happens to be named Miko Otomo doesn't get their soul sent, and manifests into a monster. Because that's a thing.

Luke: I have Nanny issues and have to bail.

Nathan: Elle, fancy meeting you here.

Elle: My father is imprisoned at The Company. So let's go to the Third Generation Hideout which is now in ruins.

Zach: The world is overrun with digital and real monsters. Real ones caused by a Grim Reaper's lack of doing his job...

Nathan: I still don't see how that's MY fault!

Zach: And digital ones spawned in the real world by Erica Kravid. Who has a secret Videogame Division working on a project for Evernow...

Miko: Which is the game I came from.

Zach: Let's kill all the monsters.

Zach: We didn't end up killing any monsters. Great job, team.

Emily: Elle's been taken away by a monster!

Zach: We have to go back to the Company.

Meanwhile Niki was...

Lamb Chop (as Niki): Kicking butt and taking names!

Niki (on the phone): They seriously replaced me with Lamb Chop?! She conspired to get me off the show?! UGH! Doesn't she have anything better to do!?

Matt: Niki! Lamb Chop taught me how to make homemade popsicles! You fill these plastic ice trays with fruit juice, and put aluminum foil on the top, and poke toothpicks through the aluminum foil. Then you freeze it and get these cute little popsicles!

Niki: Would you PLEASE get out of my house, Matt?

Matt: But...we're in an IKEA Store.

Clerk: Yeah...and you obviously aren't interested in buying anything. So I'm going to have to ask you to...

Niki: GRAB ALL THE MEATBALLS!

Niki shoves handfuls of IKEA Meatballs in her mouth and pants pockets and Matt stuffs some down his shirt. They both run out of the store.

Official Penny Salesman, Caspar Abraham.

Caspar: I'm going to use the power of pennies to separate the souls Jessica and Gertrude.

Niki: GERTRUDE!?

Matt: That's impossible!

Caspar: I just finished using the power of pennies to separate the souls of Jessica and Gertrude.

Niki: Why do you keep calling me that!?

Matt: I believe in everything!

Tommy and Malina (Claire's children): We're on the run and our mom is in trouble.

Niki (to Caspar): Caspar, we just met and I have no legal responsibility for these children, so take them far away.

Caspar: Done!

Sandra Bennet opens the door.

Sandra: Caspar! Long time no see! You're just in time for Muggles Recital. Come in, Come in!

Tommy (to Malina): I don't think we're out of the woods just yet.

Claire: And I went to meet my children from the future and came back into an ambush. So now we're in Company Prison.

Bob (to Angela): Erica Kravid is plotting a plotting plot to take over the world. Under the disguise of working on a popular videogame, she is secretly developing technology to launch a worldwide virus that will remove abilities from people, with the intent to sell them back...

Angela: At reasonable prices?

Bob: No!

Angela: GASP!

Bob: Then, with additional technology, she is extracting monsters from the videogame she is working on and releasing them upon the world. The only way to stop them is using abilities, which people will have to buy...

Angela: That's brilliant...I mean...bad...really bad.

Bob: She will need the power of The Twins, Elle, Molly (who doesn't look anything like Molly), Micah (who is currently imprisoned at the Company and the source for the monsters spawning into the world), and Famous YouTube Personality, Sylar Oakley.

Sylar: THAT'S NOT MY NAME, DAMMIT!

Claire: We're no longer in Company Prison.

West: I'm a Lawyer, here on a stakeout to take down the company, but I've been brainwashed into working here.

Claire: Not anymore, come with me.

West: Okay!

Claire: So yeah...Peter has been erased from existence because he brought a younger, pregnant Angela to the present.

Noah: I still don't know why nobody is freaking out over that.

Angela: Well, the baby's about to pop out. Let's make for the hospital.

Angela: Someone took my baby!

Future Peter: It was me! Claire...I kinda messed up with the whole, bringing Angela into the present business.

West: I don't understand how any of this is possible without all of our timelines being torn to shreds. But I'm no astrophysicist.

Future Hiro: All of this was a mistake. So many Butterflies are blowing up! What we have to do now is take Claire back to the past and stop Peter from bring pregnant Angela to the present.

Claire: I'm sure this will go down just fine.

Hiro brings Claire and West back to the present and vanishes from existence. Past Peter is born but Angela is not there. Present Peter has not shown up.

Doctor: Congratulations, Mrs. Petrelli, you have a son.

Claire: GUH!?

The Doctor hands Claire a baby wrapped in a blanket, Claire unravels the blanket to reveal Lamb Chop.

Doctor: We have the results if its truly 100% Cotton or Cotton/Poly Blend.

West: Um...As long as its healthy?...I guess.

Claire: Yeesh! This baby is hideous! At least it will teach me how to freeze juice in ice trays and make cute little popsicles.

West: Wait...I thought Lamb Chop was playing Niki. I'm so confused!

Matt: We broke into the Company using Toilet Water Magic!

Tracy: Please don't call it that.

Matt and Niki get trapped but saved by Janice Parkman, who is here looking for fellow Lawyer, West.

Noah fights Erica and get re-imprisoned. Tracy is in disguise as Erica...

Tracy: As long as I don't turn this chair around, my cover won't be blown.

Erica activates full shutdown of the facility.

 **Elle Bishop  
The Company Jail**

Elle wakes up, she is imprisoned.

Elle: What the fork!? How did I get here?

Elle walks over to the bars.

Elle: Hey...HEY! HELLO! SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF HERE!...I know that never works. Why do people even say that?

Rene walks over to her.

Elle: Skippy? Is that you? Oh my god! Long time no see! How have you been, man?

Rene: I am doing well. I work here against my will as I was captured by Harris Clones and am now am tasked with making sure you don't escape.

Elle: I know, I haven't been on Facebook in forever.

She looks at a picture of some children playing.

Elle: Oh, your kids are adorable! Where does the time go?

Rene: Whose kids are those?...

Elle: Oh...and there's you and Michelle, cutting the cake at your wedding. There's your vacation picture from Bermuda...such a beautiful honeymoon. And look at you two fixing up your first house together. Awww...

Rene: This...isn't...I'm...not in any of these pictures. Why do you have pictures of some random family?

Matt, Niki and Janice are running down a corridor. Red Lights are flashing and an alarm is going off.

Matt: We have to get out of here...oh, and Niki, it's nice to have you back on the show. What happened with Lamb Chop?

Niki: I pulled some strings, got some people fired, and now she's playing Peter Petrelli as a baby...or something? I don't know or care at this point.

Matt: Good for her! It's a pretty important role to have on your resume. That's how I landed the role of Matt Parkman!

Niki: How...wha...That...uh...forget it...not asking how that's possible.

Niki takes two steps.

Niki: Are you honestly saying you played Peter Petrelli as a child?

Matt: Yup. In the Heroes Spinoff...'Heroes Beginnings'.

Niki: And you weren't...you?

Matt: Of course not...I'm not on the show because our show didn't exist yet, silly.

Niki: You're older, much older might I add, than Peter so there is no plausible reason why you wouldn't be playing you in this scenario. And how could this show exist and ours couldn't yet?

Matt: Because it aired way before heroes did...hence...babies?

Niki: Um...do you even know what a spinoff is?! How could Heroes Beginnings be spun off from a show that wasn't made yet? If anything 'Heroes' would have been the spinoff of this show that probably doesn't exist.

Matt: Niki, 'Heroes' had to exist, or how would they know what to put in 'Beginnings'?

Niki: You JUST SAID that the show didn't exist yet. How would they make 'Beginnings' without having the source material from the show that didn't exist yet.

Matt: They do have it...that's why its a spinoff!

Niki: When was the last time I gave you a good throat punch?

Matt: It's been a good while.

Niki: When we get done with this, remind me to follow through with that.

Matt: You got it!

They turn a corner and bump into Tracy holding a plate of Spaghetti.

Niki: Uh...

Tracy: Oh...hi.

Matt: Well...?

Tracy: I brought you bread sticks from the 15th Floor Olive Garden.

Matt: YAY! This will go great with my IKEA Meatballs.

Niki: EW! You still have those?!

Matt: Of course!

Matt shoves the bread sticks down his shirt.

Janice: And I just got flashbacks from our wedding.

Matt: Getting that entire five tier wedding cake down my shirt was quite the challenge.

Tracy: So...Noah's probably imprisoned again.

Niki: Well, crap a duck. We have to find him before...

A loud explosion rocks the building a large portion of the first floor wall is blown in. Emerging from the smoke is Zach, followed by Hiro, Nathan, and Miko.

Zach: Remember. No powers in here...Rescue anybody you can and get out. Micah is a priority!

Zach and Nathan load their guns as Miko and Hiro unsheathe their swords.

Erica (watching this from her office): Send in...everyone.

Niki, Matt, Tracy, and Janice, overlooking the scene from above. The side of the railing reads:

 **Chapter Seven "The Missing Piece"**

They slowly look up as the sound of hundreds of footsteps storm the upper floors, making their way down.

Janice: What...is that?

Niki: …..The Clones.

They continue looking up as Matt pops an IKEA meatball into his mouth.

 **= = = = = = = = = =  
(HEROES)  
= = = = = = = = = = **

**Claire Bennet  
Hospital, July 8th, 1977  
Absolutely glowing after giving birth to her own Uncle...**

Claire: AHHHH! NO! What the crap happened?!

West (eating a Little Debbie brownie): (shrugs)...I dunno...time stuff?

Claire: This is awful. I can't be the mother of my own Uncle, and just two days before The Cheerleader Playoffs!...oh, and screwing up the timeline.

West: Would you like a Brownie?

Claire: There's no time for that, West!

West: But...you're eating it.

Claire: Errh dernt kner wat yer terkin abert...*munch**munch*...

Back at The Company, Niki, Matt, Janice,and Tracy are running down the stairs. They are overlooking Zach and the others on the first floor.

Niki: It's Nathan...and Hiro...and two people I don't recognize!

Matt: You don't know Zach From Season One? He was a major character! What's wrong with you?

Niki: Ugh, whatever. Let's keep searching for Noah and Claire.

Noah: OOOF!

Noah gets thrown into a cell, he is next to Elle.

Noah: Ah, hell.

Elle: Mr. B! You came to save me!

Noah: No, I got imprisoned...then released...but imprisoned again. I think that's a record. Don't you work for me?...Where have you been all this time?

Elle: Hunting Evil Shapeshifters that are posing as my father.

Noah: Oh yeah...he mentioned something about that.

Elle: You saw him?!

Noah: Yeah, but he's off to help Angela give birth to Peter...which is a stupid sub plot that should be tearing apart the timeline as we speak, but everyone seems cool with it.

Elle: Did she get my gift? I couldn't make it to the shower.

Noah: There wasn't a shower, this just happened like...a few hours ago. And why would you already have a present?

Elle: When I joined the show I bought everybody in the cast a baby gift. If any of them had any children, I've set it up to auto deliver the present to them.

Noah: How...how would you even orchestrate such nonsense!?

Elle: Because I'm amazing. Duh.

Noah: So if I was the parent of a new child...

Elle: Which I suppose is possible even though you're like...a billion!

Noah: Shut it...if Sandra and I were to have another child, you would have a present ready from the get go?

Elle: Yup.

Noah: …..Okay, we're pregnant. Sandra's going to have a kid in nine months.

A Carrier walks up.

Carrier: Package for Mr. Noah Bennet.

Noah: Um...that would be me.

The Carrier tosses him the package. Noah opens it and pulls out...

Noah: It's a potato.

Elle: And you now have to send that to 20 of your friends...or all your loved ones will die!

Noah: You gave me a _chain potato?!_ What the hell?...Wait...how would that even work?

Elle: Not my problem.

Noah: UGH, SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF HERE!

Niki: NATHAN!

Nathan spins around and points his gun at Niki, Tracy, Matt and Janice.

Niki: Not a clone. Put it down.

Nathan: What are you guys doing here?

Niki: We came here to rescue Claire.

Zach: Claire's here too?

Nathan: Is the whole freaking cast in this building?

Niki: I wouldn't be surprised, seeing how Erica Kravid is somehow behind all of our subplots.

Zach: We don't have much time before we're overrun by clones.

Niki: We already know what that's like.

Matt: And I don't think I can survive another trip through the toilet.

Nathan: What?

Niki and Tracy: Don't ask.

Nathan: So, I'm sure you're aware Powers are out in here.

Niki: Yes, I haven't been able to punch anything in over an hour and I'm getting VERY frustrated.

Zach: In order to stop Erica from succeeding with her plan, we have to make sure every person she needs is secured. She needs Sylar, The Twins, Elle, Micah and Molly. I only have Sylar...

Niki: Well, we have the Twins safe with a guy who specializes in pennies.

Zach: uhhh...

Niki and Tracy: Don't ask.

Zach: Okay, good. We know Elle's here, so if we can find her, Micah and Molly, we have pretty much won.

Niki looks at Miko.

Niki: So...who's your friend.

Nathan: Videogame Character. Hopefully we can find a way to stop the spawning of digital monsters and send her back to her game.

Niki: …...

Nathan: Don't ask.

Niki: I wasn't going to.

Hiro: I saved Ando!

Ando: Hi Hiro!

Hiro: Hi Ando!

Nathan: Did...you just run off and rescue him while we were talking?

Hiro: Yeah, pretty much. The game division is right through that door, figured he was in there.

Ando: If you're going to fix my brainwashing, you need to do so by 5:00 or I will be forced to come back.

Hiro: You got it, friend!

Zach: Okay, we got one rescue out of the way. Let's split up and...

Several doors open as hundreds of Harris Clones barge in, they open fire.

Zach: Okay, we're in over our heads. We can't take them. Retreat!

Tracy: What about the others?

Zach: We'll have to find another way. There's too many of them.

The group runs through the main lobby and out the door.

Nathan: Um...what happened to our car?

 **5 Minutes Earlier**

Mohinder, Quentin and Emily are waiting in the car.

Quentin: I wish we didn't have to wait in the car like this.

Emily: It's probably for the best. I'm definitely not battle ready.

Quentin: Me neither, all I have is my new packet of Magic: The Gathering cards.

Quentin opens them up.

Quentin: This...is a box of candy cigarettes. I think I was duped. Oh well, at least I have Candy to make me feel better.

Quentin pops one in his mouth.

Quentin: Nope, those are real cigarettes. BLEH!

Mohinder: I'll have you know I am very prepared for battle. What I lack in street smarts I make up for it with TEACH smarts...

Quentin: Uh...what?

Mohinder: You see, I am the world's greatest teacher and student. I know everything I need to know because I taught it to myself.

Emily: Don't you...need to know it...so you can teach it to yourself?

Mohinder: That is what's so great about it. I have learned everything I need to know by adapting to my surroundings.

Quentin: Isn't that the definition of street smarts?

Mohinder: No! Just watch.

Mohinder rolls down a window.

Mohinder: Excuse me, sir.

Man: Yeah.

Mohinder: I'd like for you to read this paper I wrote and identify the Iambic Pentameter.

Man: Uhhhhh...

Mohinder: AHA! You see...I have one this battle with this foolish, foolish, man.

Man: …...

An angry mob is rocking the car back and forth.

Emily: So, this is bad.

Quentin: We could have dealt with the one guy, but why did you have to mock everybody else that was on the street?

Mohinder: How else am I suppose to prove that nobody knows what an Iambic Pentameter is. Look at all these people I defeated in a battle of wits!

Emily: It really doesn't look that way. I have to get us out of here.

Emily hops in the front seat.

Emily: Oh good, the keys are still in the car.

Emily starts the car and drive away from the angry mob.

Meanwhile, in the past.

Claire: So...you and I are now officially stuck in the past. We screwed up something because now I'm my own Uncle's mother and we have no way to get back.

West: I can think of worse ways to spend a Friday.

Claire: Okay, we have to think. Since Past Peter is here...I would think Present Peter would come back to pick up Angela...but since Angela isn't here...I would actually be Angela in the present...but that would contradict my existence. Ugh, I hate timeline plots! They're so confusing.

West: Too bad we don't have another Time Jumper person.

Claire: West, that's it! We have Hiro!

West: Didn't he just erase from existence?

Claire: Future Hiro did...but not Past Hiro. All we need to do is find the Hiro from THIS timeline and he can do the time jumping for us.

West: Would...he even be alive. Isn't Hiro younger than Peter?

Claire: Oh crap...is he? Well, hell, if he isn't even born yet, what are we supposed to do?!

West: …..We can become YouTube Personalities like Sylar Oakley.

Claire: OOH, I always wanted to do that. We'll spend the next few years while we wait for Hiro to be born. It'll be a long road, but the road will be paved with YouTube riches. Will you go on this journey with me, West?

West: Of course!

Claire: Let's make videos and become YouTube's next big stars!

 **3 Years Later**

Claire (playing with now three year old Peter): Wow, not a single hit on any of our videos.

West: Wait...would YouTube even work in 1980?

Claire: …...OH CRAP! NO!...UGH! Well that was a waste...well, at least we'll still have videos of the journey.

West: I got the newspaper...Hey, it mentions something about Kaito Nakamura.

Claire: That's Hiro's father! What does it say?

West: Kaito Nakamura, CEO of Yamagato Industries, celebrates his son Hiro's birth...

Claire: YAY!

West: ...day?

Claire: Birth...day? Like as in...as was born today?

West: Nope. Birthday. What a weird thing to put on the front page of the newspaper. You would think there would be more interesting things going on in the world to report on.

Claire: Wait...he's currently alive!? How old is he?

West: ...Let's...see...yada yada yada...so on...hmm...ah, there it is...six.

Claire: SIX!?

West: Yep, they grow up so fast.

Claire: Hiro is older than Peter!? West! That means we could have gone straight to him when we got here and just wasted the last three years.

West: But our time raising Peter wasn't wasted. I think we did a fine job as parents.

Claire: But we have to erase this timeline or our current timeline will be super screwed!

West: Oh...then yeah, this was a colossal waste of our time then.

Claire: Ugh...We have to have Hiro fix this, now.

West: But didn't Hiro not learn to use Time Magic or whatever until he was older?

Claire: Well...that is why this time around...we're going to speed up the process. Just leave it to me. Let's go.

Noah and Elle are still in prison.

Elle (singing): _99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, give that back Brenda because you didn't pay for it, we except most forms of payment, if you don't have cash then we can take a card, sorry it was declined, go ahead and pass that bottle to me, I'll put it back on the shelf, 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, sorry Eddie your card was declined, pass it on back, 99 bottles of beer on the wall._

Noah: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Elle: What?!

Noah: You've been stuck on 99 bottles for three hours!

Elle: It's not my fault nobody in the bar has any money!

Rene: Hello prisoners.

Elle: Hey, skippy!

Noah: Rene! Don't you work for me too?...Where have you been?

Rene: I was in the present while you and Angela went into the future. I went to save Niki and Matt from Harris clones and got kidnapped and brainwashed into working here.

Noah: You risked your life for THEM?! You should know that me, Claire, and Peter are the three most important people in the cast.

Elle: Don't forget about me! Rene, can I offer you one of my world famous _chain potatoes?_

Rene: I can't let you out...being brainwashed and all.

Elle: I can't help but to sense the irony in that...since washing brains is usually his thing.

Noah: Then you leave me no choice..."Strawberry Shortcake".

Elle: ….

Noah: ….

Rene: …...AHHHHH!

Elle: What just happened?

Noah: We mutually agreed to have a implant installed where if he ever got brainwashed, a simple safe word will overwrite any brainwashing. Ever!

Elle: If you have that type of technology, couldn't you just block the brainwashing in the first place?

Noah: Of course not! Don't be ridiculous!

Elle: I don't know, you would think something like that would be done.

Rene: I'm going to be late for cheerleader tryouts!

Rene runs off.

Elle: Uh...explanation?

Noah: Yeah, there's a bug where he adopts the personality of anyone he's ever met. But it's temporary. Then he'll be back to normal.

 **10 minutes later**

Rene: I'm back.

Noah: Good. Now let us out please.

Rene: Sure.

Elle: I can't believe a simple "Strawberry Shortcake" can override a brain wash just like that.

Rene: UGH! Dammit Matt! I'm going to go punch him in the back of the head.

Rene storms off.

Noah: Elle!

Elle: What?!

Noah: If you say it again, he gets reset! Whether or not he's been brainwashed.

Elle: I didn't know that! I thought it only worked when he was brainwashed!

Noah: Well, it doesn't!

Elle: Fine! Now I know!

 **10 minutes later**

Rene: I'm back, and will let you out now.

Elle: Has he really gone through all these years without him or anybody around him saying "Strawberry Shortcake"?

Rene: YATTA! I have to go save flying man!

Rene runs off.

Noah: DAMMIT ELLE!

Elle: Sorry, it's just...it's a pretty common thing. I mean, it's a popular dessert. Shouldn't you try a more obscure word or phrase?

Noah: I'll will bring that up with Research and Development when I have time, just don't say it again!

Elle: Okay. Okay.

 **10 minutes later**

Rene: I'm back, and will let you out now.

Noah: Please!

Elle: I'm ready to go, let me just grab my lunch box with _Strawberry Shortcake_ on the front of it.

Rene: WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

Rene runs off.

Noah: Oh great, now he's Muggles...we're never getting out of here.

Meanwhile, in the past, at Yamagato Industries.

Claire: Okay West, here is the plan. We are going to see if Kaito will lend us his son.

West: Why...would he do that?

Claire: He just will, okay? We will try and get Hiro to trigger his abilities early, then use it to teleport to the actual correct time we need to be on.

West: Do you think he'll be able to accomplish this being only 6?

Claire: I don't see why not.

Kaito Nakamura approaches them.

Kaito: I have been informed you wanted to see me. State your business.

Claire: Hello, Mister Nakamura. My name is...Blaire...Cennet. I am here to offer your son an incredible opportunity.

West: And I'm Rest Wosen. That's what we're doing right, just flipping the first letters?

Claire: SHH! Anyway...Mr. Nakamura, I run a highly sophisticated school full of gifted youngsters.

West: GASP! Like the school from X-Men?

Claire: SHHHH! And your son has a lot of potential. Like this example child, Uh...uhh...whose name is...

West thinks for a second, then flips the letters.

West: Peter Petrelli! Oh wait...

Kaito: What?

Claire: No, his name is...Peter...Spinelli! That's what he said. Yep, he has a lot of potential as well. It's just what we try to bring out with these gifted children.

Kaito: I see, so...Ms. Cennet? Or is it Mrs.?

Claire: It's Mrs. I'm currently married to famous actor _Chris Hemsworth_.

West: You're trying to pass off being married to _Thor_? He wasn't born until '83.

Claire: Famous actor, Hhris Cemsworth.

Kaito: Right...so...what do you teach at this school? How are these children...gifted, as you say?

Claire: We would teach your son how to maintain the upmost Honor for his family and to not be a disappointment.

Kaito: Then you have my full support. You may find him in his room. Goodbye, Mrs. Cennet or Cemsworth or whatever your name is.

Claire: It's actually _Gosling_ , I remarried.

West: Yeah, since it's December that would make him...one month old?

Claire: Oh, forget it! How do you know the birth dates of all these celebrities?

West: Just in case I get trapped in an basement and am forced to play Trivial Pursuit for my life.

Claire: Uh...That's oddly specific but okay.

Claire, West and (Kid) Peter enter Hiro's room.

Claire: Hi Hiro, we're total strangers. Would you like to come with us?

Hiro: Why?

Claire: We're going to take you away to a special school for gifted youngsters!

Hiro: GASP! Like X-MEN!?

Claire: Why does everyone keep saying that?

West: Because that's what it is!

Claire: Yes! That's where we're going.

Hiro: I'll get my things.

Claire: Well good, because I'm way over this plot line and ready to go home.

Meanwhile, Rene, Elle, and Noah are running through the halls. Fighting Clones.

Noah: ACK!

Noah manages to knock one of them out, Rene flings one over the railing.

Noah: Wait...who's that?!

They spot Molly in the hallway.

Rene: Molly Walker.

Noah: I'm pretty sure she's an impostor. Get her!

Elle: On it, boss!

Elle takes off her shoe.

Noah: You're...going to throw your shoe at her?

Elle: No, that would be silly.

Elle hold her shoe like a gun and shoots Molly.

Noah: Oh right, Shoe-Gun. That's much less silly.

Elle: I thought so too.

Noah: Did you seriously just shoot her?

Elle: Nah, they're Potato Bullets. They hurt like hell, but mostly harmless.

Noah: Where are you getting all these damn potatoes?

Erica Kravid is up in her office, watching the chaos unfold.

Erica (to Harris Prime): This place has been compromised. We need to relocate.

Harris: Will that jeopardize the mission?

Erica: No, we have everything we need for now. We'll load up Sanders and the machine, all the information will be stored on the mainframe which we'll take with us. We have one more thing to get.

Erica and Harris-Prime make their way down a secret staircase and open a chamber revealing Phoebe Frady, Quentin's sister. Who is channeling an aura around the complex, negating peoples powers with the exception of Harris.

Erica: Let's load her up. She comes with us.

Claire: Okay, Hiro...you have the ability to alter the space/time continuum. Isn't that neat?

Hiro: It sure is!

Claire: Now, I want you to concentrate as hard as you can and channel your power. You can do this by scrunching your face real tight and thinking of either a place you want to go...or a place and time you want to go. Now, lets all hold hands since if you manage to pull this off and leave without us we'll be super duper screwed.

West: _I'll take the soup_...HA!...Get it?...Because...ah...nevermind.

Hiro scrunches his face really hard.

Hiro: I need a change of pants.

Claire: UGH! Fine...let's go to Walmart and get you some new pants.

Hiro: Can I get a toy?

Claire: Sure, whatever.

Peter: I want one!

Claire: Fine!

West: ...-ahem-...

Claire: You're an adult, by your own.

West: Aw man...

Later...

Claire: Now Hiro, I want you to concentrate really hard. Do you know where the hospital is?

West: That's a tall request.

Claire: Fine. I want you to think of this exact spot. And think of this date, but the year is 1977.

West: Wait...should Peter come with us?

Claire: Yeah, I know this timeline will be erased. But I also don't want to leave him here in case we fail and he manages to screw up something else up to mess up the future. If we're lucky, he'll vanish from existence, and the timeline will be restored.

The four of them hold hands while Hiro scrunches his face. The entire group disappears. Then reappears five feet away.

Claire: Okay, this will take some time...but we're on the right track. I'm sure we'll eventually land on the date we need.

 **August 15th, 1985  
January 2nd, 1998  
December 20th, 1955  
September 6th, 2009  
April 9th, 1912  
October 18th, 1943  
July 8th, 1977**

Claire: Wait! Stop! What day is it?

West: July 8th, 1977.

Claire: This is it! This is the day Peter is born. Three year old Peter, it was fun raising you. But now we must stop your future self from destroying the world. Bye!

Peter: Bye! (POOF!)

Claire: Okay, now let's get to the hospital.

West: Are we sure Peter even came to this time? Was Angela about to give birth when Peter brought her to the present?

Claire: Yes, because she just gave birth in our time, meaning it would have been today when she would have had him.

West: But Peter could have picked up Angela any time while she was pregnant.

Claire: …..Crap...that's right. Maybe that's why the Doctor thought I was the mother, because Angela was already removed from the timeline. She wasn't present on the day Peter was born...Well Crap! How are we supposed to know what time Peter got here.

West: Go could go back in time and find Angela within the last 9 months and stop Peter when he shows up.

Claire: That...will take a very, very long time.

West: It's not like we already wasted three years already making YouTube videos nobody will see. What's a few more minutes?

Claire: Good point. Hiro, let's roll.

Hiro: Scrunch Face!

 **September 15th, 1977**

Claire: Okay, did we land in 1977 again? Let's see if we can find Angela.

Claire looks up Angela's address.

Claire: Got it...let's go.

Claire, West, and Hiro make their way to the estate. Claire knocks on the door and Angela answers.

Angela: Um...hello?

Claire: Hi there, my name is Blaire Tatum...

West: …..he also wasn't born until '80.

Claire: THANK YOU WEST...but I don't care, I'm running with it.

West: At least pick a more believable hunk, like...Theodore Roosevelt.

Claire: You honestly think people would believe I'm the current wife of a President that's been dead for nearly sixty years?!

West: Just saying, you would look pretty good for your age.

Claire: I'm warming up to the idea and will consider it. ANYWAY...I'm from 'Pregnant Mothers Magazine' and am interviewing...Pregnant Mothers...for our magazine. You are currently pregnant?

Angela: Yes, and thanks for assuming, jerk.

Claire: Ah...hmm...

Angela: And isn't your name 'Claire'? You're my future granddaughter.

Claire: GUH!?

West: Uh oh.

Claire: How...how did you know that?

Angela: It was a dream I had of the future.

Claire: Oh crap, I forgot she could do that! Well, the jig is up, might as well come clean.

Inside.

Angela: What's this again?

Claire: Your older self is going to dispatch your son to come back and bring you into the future as a way to...feel younger? I guess? I don't know, it's all really stupid and totally cutting into quality time for me spending with my children and a villain who is currently responsible for every main cast member's plot line.

Angela: That does sound like something I would do. I'll need to keep this in mind when I get older, that way I'll never age.

Claire: Um...no. We don't want you to do that.

Angela: Okay, I won't...WINK!

Claire: Did you just say 'wink'? (To West) She just said 'wink'...right?

West: Uh oh...are we going to start some sort of time loop?! Are we the reason that Peter comes back and screws up everything?

Claire: Don't be ridiculous. The reason he did it is why we're here!

West: But he did it because Angela JUST got the idea from us. It IS a time loop! Oh no!

Claire: My head hurts...I don't care anymore. Peter is going to show up at some point and we're going to stop him from bringing Pregnant Angela back to the present. And that's that.

Claire looks over to see a grown up Peter with Angela.

Peter: Hi, Claire!

Angela: Bye, Claire!

POOF!

Claire: DAMMIT, CLAIRE! HIRO!

Hiro poofs them back around time a few more months then lands them to a minute earlier. Present Peter travels into the room and Claire tackles him.

Peter: OOF!

West: Well, it sure was lucky this was the day of all days he decided to show up.

Claire: Right! So nobody move. Peter, you stay.

West: And Angela, _sashay away._..

Claire: Nobody's sashaying anywhere!

Peter: Claire, why are you here?

Claire: Because you're about to make a huge mistake.

Peter: How do you know?

Claire: Because your future self told us that it was a huge mistake.

Peter: Oh...yeah, he's a pretty sharp guy. Probably right.

Claire: You bringing Angela back from the present while she is still Pregnant erased your existence and screws up the future. We have a lot of problems still going on so Angela is just going to have to deal with it.

Peter: I understand.

Hiro: Can I go home now? I've learned everything I need to.

Claire: Yeah, fine.

Peter: Okay, let's go back. Bye ma, hope you weren't weirdedout seeing your 40 year old son you're about to give birth to.

Angela: No, not at all...I dreamed all of this.

Claire: Uh huh...let's get out of here.

Peter teleports Claire and West back to the present. The Company is completely emptied out.

Claire: Where the hell is everyone? I leave for five seconds...

Peter: So, if ma isn't pregnant in this timeline, where is she?

Claire calls Angela. She picks up.

Angela: Oh, Claire! How are you?

Claire: Good-ish. Where are you?

Angela: Well, shortly after you let us all out, Bob and I went to lunch and are currently getting pedicures. If you can, try to find Elle for Bob, okay?

Claire: Yeah, I'll get right on that. Bye.

She hangs up.

Claire: Nothing left for us here. Let's go.

The start to walk out.

Zach: Claire?

Claire: ...Zach?

Zach: Hey Claire...Hey West...it's been a while. I came back to see if I could find any clues to Erica's whereabouts.

Claire: Yeah, what happened with all that?

Zach: Come with me...everyone's back at the base.

Claire: Base?

 **Earlier**.

Rene (carrying 'Molly'), Noah and Elle are walking down the street. Noah spots...

Noah: That's Niki and Matt. Let's head over there.

The group has reconvened in a nearby cafe.

Noah: Well, it's nice we have the whole cast here.

Zach: Erica's gone, she still has Micah. They have a mobile base...so there's no telling where they are.

Elle: Unless if she (points to Molly) can spill the beans.

Miko: I might know a way we can find him. It would require us to build a similar machine to Erica's to go into the Evernow game world. Once in there I can find Micah, who is currently imprisoned. He might be able to tell us where he is.

Nathan: Worth a shot.

Miko: Also, we might also be able to sever the source of the monsters appearing. But we'll have to act fast.

Zach: Well, the 3rd Gen base is destroyed and The Company is in ruins too.

Noah: I have one more place we can set up shop.

They return to the Ice Cream Shop.

Elle: Your new base of Operations is at my detective agency?

Noah: What detective agency...were you squatting on my property?

Elle: I didn't see your name on it.

Noah points to the giant **PROPERTY OF NOAH BENNET.**

Elle: I thought that was just an ugly portrait.

Noah: Well, it's my property and the base is below.

Noah walks over and pulls a lever that looks like an Ice Cream Scoop. The Ice Cream freezer moves over to reveal a staircase.

Noah: Secret Hideout.

Claire (in the hideout joined with Peter and West): You wouldn't buy me a car for my sweet sixteen but you could spend 850 thousand dollars on an electronic Ice Cream doorway to your secret hideout.

Noah: I just had this put in six months ago.

Claire: And I'm currently 16 and a half, what's your point?

Noah: We should be good to continue our operations here. Zach, please feel free to use these facilities as needed.

Zach: Thank you, Noah. Okay, Ando, we still need access to the game. Can you and Hiro get that going?

Hiro: Right! We'll get on it.

Miko: I'll join you.

Miko leaves with them.

Ando: Um...Aren't you the main character for Evernow?

Miko: Yes. Long story.

West: Claire, it was fun wasting three years making YouTube videos. But Janice and I need to get back to the office to start our case. If you guys can bring her in, we'll make sure she stays in jail.

Claire: Will do. Thanks West.

Noah, we'll stay here. I'd like to talk to this 'Molly' and see what she knows.

Elle: She's going to get more potatoes than she bargained for...even more than the one I shot her with.

Zach: Um...

Noah: Don't ask.

They walk off to put Molly in custody.

Niki: Claire, I left your children in the guidance of a man who specializes in pennies.

Claire: That sounds...vaguely familiar. Caspar?

Niki: Yes.

Claire: I was never pregnant with the kids since I came from a different timeline, but have some newfound memory of him trying to sell me pennies. Seems like a total wackadoo.

Niki: That's the one.

Claire: Then I trust they are in good hands.

Noah: Claire, I just got a message from your mother, The kids are there.

Claire: Then they are in grave danger. Let's roll, Peter!

Peter: Rollin!

Claire and Peter take off.

Nathan: Well, I guess I'm taking off as well.

Niki: Where are you going?

Nathan: It's like Zach said. There are lots of actual monsters roaming the Earth because I'm not a very good Grim Reaper. Miko said she would help me with that somehow, but I'll leave the current issue in her hands while I get back to my job. Later...

Matt, Niki and Tracy are left.

Matt: Well...looks like that just leaves us.

Tracy: With Angela back in office...I'm going to head back there and see if I need to cleanup anything. Elections aren't that far off. Bye guys!

Matt: And then that just leaves us.

Niki: Yep...oh I have nothing to do, we'll that's depressing.

Matt: Don't worry, you still have me and Mohin...

Zach: Guys! I completely forgot about the others. They were waiting in the car when we stormed The Company and they were gone when we left. Mohinder, Emily and Quentin are still missing!

Matt: YAY! We have something to do. Let's roll, Niki!

Niki:: But I don't wanna search for them!

Matt: It'll be fun! We're on the case!

Matt and Niki head off.

Later, they are investigating the site.

Matt: This is where the car last was.

Niki: This is hopeless. How are we possibly going to know where they went? Has anyone bothered calling...

Niki notices Matt is missing.

Niki: ….them...?...Matt...?...Matt?...

Niki looks around. She sticks her head near a storm drain.

Niki: PARKMAN!

Pennywise pops up.

Pennywise: Hello, Georgie!

Niki: I don't have time for you, Jester!

Niki pokes his eyes out.

Pennywise: AHHHH!

Niki: MATT! Dammit, you better not have abandoned me to go do something more interesting!

Niki takes off walking.

A few blocks over. Emily is driving the car with Quentin and Mohinder.

Emily: Okay, looks like the coast is clear. I hope they don't notice we've been gone this entire time.

Quentin: I'm sure they're still in there, all we need to do is drive back and nobody would be the...

Mohinder: Emily, watch out!

Emily sees someone in the street. She slams on the brakes.

Mohinder and Quentin: OOF!

Standing before them is...

Mohinder: Molly?

The Real Molly Walker is standing in front of the car, pointing a gun at them. She has an unconscious Matt at her side. She drags Matt to the car and throws him in the passenger seat before joining Mohinder and Quentin in the back.

Molly: Hi Mohinder. Can they be trusted? (She motions to Quentin and Emily).

Mohinder: Um...yes?

Molly: Hmm...okay then...Please drive far away from here.

Emily looks at the guys through the rear view mirror. They shrug.

Emily: Okay...driving away.

The car drives down the street and crosses a bridge, leaving the city.

 **To Be Continued**


	8. A Tale Of Two Mollys

**The Heroes Parody Project  
Season 6  
Chapter 8**

 **Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.**

 **Previously...on Westworld.**

Claire: Wow! A wild west themed amusement park! Where the staff consists of Androids and you can do whatever you want without consequence!

West: That's right! Welcome to West-World, a fantastical land of my own design.

Claire: Wait, West?...You're behind this?

West: Sure am! I've always enjoyed movies and television shows that truly capture the nature and experience of the Wild West. You'll see a lot of inspiration come from episodes of _Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman_.

Claire: So...What you're saying is that the writers have never seen Westworld and like most of our parodies, this will be a complete and total disaster?

West: Exactly! Now all aboard the helicopter.

Claire: Where are we going?! I'm already here.

West: This is just the launch area...I will be taking you to...

The Helicopter flies toward.

West: West World Island!

Claire: I feel like a Wild West Theme Park being on an island kinda diminishes the experience.

Claire looks at Peter and Elle on the other side of the Helicopter. They're in suits.

Claire: And who are you two supposed to be?

Peter flashes his badge.

Peter: Peter Mulder.

Elle: Eleanor Scully.

Peter: We're Agent X-Files...I'm here to find out what happened to my sister and find the truth about Aliens in the Wild West.

Elle: I guess I'm here for the same reason...but I'm mostly here to find LOVE!

Claire: Gross. Moving on.

Claire (to Hiro): And who are you supposed to be...?

Hiro: Dinosaurs destroyed my family, and I'm here to exact revenge. (He shows Claire a picture) This Dinosaur in particular ate my mother two years before I was born.

Claire: That...doesn't make any sense...

Hiro: None of that will matter when I exact my revenge.

Claire: So is anybody here BESIDES me actually looking forward to something Wild West related?!

Claire looks over at a father and daughter next to her.

Veruca Salt: Daddy! I want my own Wild West World! I WANT IT NOW!

Father: Anything you want, sweetheart.

Veruca: Daddy, I want to change Helicopters. This 40 year old cheerleader smells like she doesn't have any money!

Father: I have a helicopter on the way! Just get ready to jump.

Claire: I'm already over this.

Claire enters the Saloon. She is wearing a vintage poofy dress and a giant hat.

Claire: I sure do love the Wild West.

BANG!

Claire: DID SOMEONE JUST SHOOT ME!?

Man: Sorry, I thought you worked here!

Claire: Well, I don't, stupid! UGH!

Claire walks up to the counter. Peter turns around wearing the same dress and hat as Claire.

Peter: Hello, Sugar, names Miss Kitty...I run this establishment.

Claire: Uhhhhh...

Peter: Actually, it's me, Peter.

Claire: Well, duh. Why are you wearing the same thing as me...and why do you look better in it?!

Peter: Have you seen any signs of Aliens?

Claire: No, there are no Aliens here.

Peter: You don't know the truth. Let's keep acting like things are normal. So, what can I get for ya, sugar?

Claire: A Long Island Iced Tea...Hold The 'Long Island'.

Peter: So...you just want a glass of Tea?

Claire: Oh...um...a regular Long Island Iced Tea then.

Peter: Gotcha...

The doors of the saloon bust open and Nathan enters.

Nathan (to Peter): …..You and I have some unfinished business.

Peter: We do.

Peter rips off his dress to reveal his Cowboy attire.

Customer: Hey, can I get a refill?

Peter: Sure!

Peter rips off his Cowboy attire and is wearing his dress. He fills up the man's drink.

Peter: Thanks, sugar!

Peter rips the dress off again to reveal another set of Cowboy Attire.

Claire: How many layers of clothing are you wearing!?

Peter: This sarsaparilla ain't big enough for the both of us.

Nathan: Got that right...pistols at dawn.

Rooster: COCK-A-DOODLE DAWN!

Peter: Looks like its pistols now.

Peter and Nathan draw their guns and start firing at each other. Claire reaches over the bar.

Claire: Taking a few more of these drinks for the road and...goodbye!

Claire and Elle are sitting on a park bench. Elle shows Claire a photo of an Alien.

Elle: His name is Fejenkabenjkiyuflewrinajiboin.

Claire: Did one of the writers collapse on their keyboard when they came up with that?

Elle: It's a very common name in Space, Non-Believer.

Claire: I thought Scully was the skeptical one. Why am I even questioning this?

Elle: We met at the Roller Rink...it was love at first sights. 'Sights' being plural because he has 20 sets of eyes.

Claire: Uh huh.

Elle: But...we knew it would never work between us. We come from two different worlds...literally!

Claire: Uh huh.

Elle: Our love would be chastised by everyone...especially my partner, Mulder. For he doesn't know the true secret.

Claire (nodding off to sleep): Mmm Hmm...

Elle: The truth is...My Alien lover is the one who abducted his sister! DUN! DUN DUUUUUN!

Claire: I'm...oddly interested in this now. Wait...Peter doesn't have a sister!

Elle: That he knows of...

Claire: And I just lost interest.

Hiro: I'm glad you're helping me on my quest for vengeance, Claire.

Claire: I've basically given up hope of this show ever getting back on the rails and doing anything related to the Wild West.

A T-Rex enters the room. It is wearing Cowboy Attire.

T-Rex: Looks like we have unfinished business.

Hiro rips off his clothes to reveal Claire's dress.

Hiro: Oh, you got that right, Sugar!

Claire: Oh my god, someone PLEASE get me off this island!

West: So Claire, how was your trip to West-World.

Claire: Awful! How did you think I was going to react?!

West: Well, I don't want you to leave disappointed. So I'm going to show you those Androids!

Claire: Finally!

West: Now...the show came into a little bit of money recently thanks to a Gas Station Scratch Off Lottery Ticket.

Claire: Uh huh...

West: And we've lined up some amazing headliners...From Futurama...

Claire: Oh no...

West: We couldn't afford Bender...but we did manage to get...The Femputer from the Amazonian Episode.

Femputer: Does Not Fempute! DEATH BY SNOO SNOO!

Claire has her head in her hands.

West: Straight from the 80's...it's...ALF!

ALF: Hey, how's everybody doin' tonight? Does anybody have any cats? I'm starving!

(Studio Audience Laughs)

Claire: ALF wasn't a Robot, he was...like...a hand puppet thing...and an Alien! Get "Mulder and Scully" in here, they'd be all over it.

West: What part of ALF makes you possibly think he's an Alien Life Form?

Claire: Uh...What do you think ALF stands for?!

West: And finally...the Future is here. From the Jetsons...we couldn't get Rosie the Robot...but instead we have Mr. Spacely. George Jetson's boss.

Claire: Who's not a robot either...

Spacely: JETSON! YOU'RE FIRED!

Claire: I think I've seen enough.

Claire is on a helicopter, leaving West World Island.

Claire (monologue): I never found the Androids I was looking for that day...and that was how I always wanted it.

Claire removes her face, revealing a circuit board.

Claire: Because I was an Android the entire time!

 **THE END**

Claire: WHAT!?...Did they digitally make me do that!? I didn't film that scene!

Peter: Probably because you wouldn't have agreed to it.

Claire: Of course I wouldn't! It's stupid!

Peter: There you go...now if you'll excuse me...I have to get back to the bar.

Peter rips off his clothes to reveal he had no more layers left...

Peter: OOPS! Thought I had more layers!

Claire: Well, I'm officially scarred for life.

Peter: Oh, relax. I'm not actually naked. This is just my prankster suit. Let's just...

RIIIIIIP!

Peter is in the hospital. Claire is at his side.

Peter: Claire...I'm not going to make it.

Claire: YOU'RE not going to make it!? I just saw my nude uncle rip his own skin off!...There's not enough Therapy in the universe to cover that! How did you even do that anyway!?

Peter: Claire...I need to your write down my Will.

Claire: Ugh...

Claire grabs a piece of paper.

Peter: To you...Claire...I leave to you...my childlike sense of wonder and imagination.

Claire crumples up the paper and tosses it aside.

Peter: And my darkest secret...

Peter removes his face to reveal a circuit board.

Peter: I was an Android the entire time!

Claire: Aaaand I'm out...I'll see you on the set.

Peter: WAIT! Can you put my face back on?!...Claire?...CLAIRE!?

 **Niki: Previously on Heroes...**

Zach: Let's storm the building and save Micah and Elle and stop Erica!

CLONES!

Zach: Let's flee the building because we can't save Micah and Elle and stop Erica!

Erica: The building's been compromised. Let's move to the mobile base. Load up Micah and the girl...

The Girl being Phoebe Frady.

Quentin (to Elle): My sister, Phoebe, she's being held captive by Erica.

Erica: Behold! Molly Walker.

Noah: That looks nothing like Molly Walker...

Matt (to Niki): Well, looks like we're off to see what happened to Mohinder and the others.

Niki: Super.

Luke Collins, who bailed several episodes ago...

Luke: The Nanny bailed but I have a new one lined up. I'm hoping this one sticks.

Niki: Caspar, please take the Twins somewhere safe.

Caspar: To Odessa, Texas!

Niki: Not what I was thinking, but I stopped caring. So go nuts!

Edgar has an unconscious Sylar and Joanne with him.

Zach: Stay in hiding...we've ran out of time. Erica cannot get Sylar.

Ando and Hiro start work on Evernow development with Miko assisting them.

Noah: Let's take this Molly into custody. Let's see who she really is.

Matt gets kidnapped.

Emily slams on the brakes of the car. The real Molly is standing before them with an unconscious Matt.

Molly: Can they be trusted?

Mohinder: ...Sure?

Molly: Then please drive.

The car leaves the city.

In a car leaving the city, Molly Walker is in the backseat with Mohinder and Quentin, an unconscious Matt is in the passenger front seat. Emily is driving.

Mohinder: Molly?! Is that really you? Where have you been?

Molly: I'm not talking to anybody, just please get me out of the city until all of this dies down.

Mohinder: What are you talking about?

Molly: I can't trust you, I can't trust anybody.

Quentin: So...why the unconscious dude?

Molly: Matt's the only one I can trust. I know he's not one of them.

Emily: One of who?

Molly: A shape shifter...

Mohinder: What, that's a thing that's happening? I just thought Elle was nuts.

Molly: I can't say too much. I just need to get out of here.

Mohinder: But you don't trust me? Matt and I raised you since birth, you know?

Molly: Well, you didn't. So, you're not convincing me you're really you.

Mohinder: Oh, that's easy. I'll just have to tell you of the greatest day in the history of the world...my birth.

We cut to the sprawling plains. Animals are making their way to Pride Rock. Giraffe's, Zebra, Elephants, they all bow down as Rafiki walks to the edge, holding up baby Mohinder in the sky.

Rafiki: I present to you...The King!

 _The circle of liiiiiiifeee!_

Molly: UGH! Stop. I believe you. But you two...(she motions to Quentin and Emily)...you could be one of them.

Emily: I'm not a shape shifter.

Molly: Okay, I totally believe you. And you (to Quentin)...convince me.

Quentin: Gladly! My name is _Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way_...wait a minute...hold on...(flips through script)...wait...wait...wait...(checks Driver's License)...yep, that's my name!

Molly: Mmhmm...yeah, I don't trust you.

Meanwhile, Niki walks into the interrogation room of Noah's Secret Hideout underneath Elle's Ice Cream Parlor/Detective Agency.

Niki: Well, Matt's a loser who completely ditched me, so I guess I'll see what you turkeys are up to.

Noah: Well, us..."Turkeys" as you so eloquently put it...are trying to get information from this fake Molly, so we can find out where the real Molly is and possibly Erica's next move.

Niki: Well, the writer's have obviously ran out of things for me to do. So I got this.

Elle: I think you mean..."We got this".

Niki: What on Earth would make you think I'd want to work with you?!

Elle: We would make a great team, "Bad Cop/Worse Cop"...and would just be you!

Niki swallows her bottom lip, stifling her rage.

Elle: Also, I'm bubbly and super cute! My chemistry alone makes me compatible with any cast member!

Niki: How do you figure?

Elle: Well, Mr. B and I have been on countless adventures, including letting me fall to my death from a ski lift when we were trying to fix his glasses.

Noah: Dream sequence. I've actually had that dream many times...

Elle: Matt and I got totally drunk on a plane from non-alcoholic beverages.

Niki: Uh huh...

Elle: Nathan and I stayed at a Ice Hotel in the afterlife, and Peter and I had to endure the embarrassment of having our clothes stolen by business savvy rats, forcing us to run back to our rooms in the buff wearing nothing but the cottage cheese we were bathing in earlier.

Niki: Didn't that happen in that stupid Chess TV Show we did?

Noah: I need to go dunk my head in acid to get that image out of my brain.

Elle: That point is...we're natural partners!

Niki: The sooner we can get to the season finale, the better. Let's go.

Niki and Elle enter the interrogation room where "Molly" is being held. The wall behind them reads:

 **Chapter Eight "A Tale Of Two Mollys"**

Molly: ….

Niki: Soo...

Elle: You want a Lawyer, HUH!? I'LL SHOW YOU LAWYER!

Elle grabs a chair and flings it through the mirror, revealing Rene on the other side.

Molly: …..

Elle: Uh...(To "Molly"). That's not a monitoring room! That's still a mirror. (she turns to Rene) SKIPPY! WIG!

Rene rolls his eyes and throws on a red haired wig, trying to mirror his body position to match Molly's. Molly looks back at Elle.

Niki: I wonder if there's enough room in that acid for two heads.

Meanwhile, Sylar was...

Sylar: Bored out of his mind. (To Edgar) How long do you plan to keep us down here?

Sylar and Joanne Collins are tied up, Edgar is watching TV.

Edgar: Until I get the all clear from my contact. I don't want to keep you here, but it's for your own safety. Well...(looks at Sylar)...mostly yours...(at Joanne)...her, I just don't trust.

Joanne: Super. Well you're going to have to release me at some point, I have to get back home.

Edgar: Hmmm...I guess I could release you somewhere and keep Sylar somewhere you would never find us...

Sylar: So...how do I benefit from this?

Edgar: You not being captured is the benefit.

Joanne's phone starts ringing, it is on the table behind Edgar. He walks over and looks at it.

Edgar: It's Luke.

Joanne: You better let me answer it.

Edgar: Hmm...can't have that. I'm going to have to put those acting classes to good use.

Edgar answers the phone.

Edgar (on the phone): Hello, schnookems. How is my wonderful husband that I am currently a wife to?

Joanne: You have GOT to be kidding me!

Sylar: He's literally "phoning it in"...HA!...oh, come on, that was funny! Laugh at that!

Joanne (deadpan): Tee hee hee.

Sylar: You both are terrible actors.

Luke (on the phone): Hey honey, I wanted to make sure everything was okay.

Edgar: It sure is...I just wish I was at home being married to you and stuff.

Luke: Well, just make sure you're careful. Love you...

Edgar puts the phone down.

Edgar: Are you one of those "Love you too..." people, or do you have a custom reply?

Joanne: "I am also in a state of content in our binding of matrimony".

Sylar: Are you serious?!

Edgar: ….Hmm...

He hops back on the phone.

Edgar: Love you too, darling. Bye!

He hangs up.

Luke: What the...she didn't say she was also in a state of content in our binding of matrimony! That was NOT my wife...something must have happened to her!

Edgar: How did I do?

Joanne: Awful.

Sylar: I would probably delete this show from my DVR.

Edgar: Everyone's a critic.

Luke thanks the new Nanny on coming by, he gets into his car.

Luke: I have to save my wife...and the only way I know how.

Luke sees a person in the middle of the road. He hits the gas and slams his car into him.

Luke: OH NO! HE'S DEAD!

Nathan walks up.

Nathan: What...what am I looking at here?

Luke: A body...that I hit with my car.

Nathan: These clothes are filled with...Jello cups...that's...dark...but creative I guess...and wasteful! (points)

Luke: Sorry, I just needed your help.

Nathan: So you faked a death to get me here...and wasted Jello!? Not cool.

Luke: Please, you have to help me save my wife.

Nathan: Ugh...pretty sad the one death I was able to be on time for wasn't real. Fine, let's go...we're stopping to get some Jello first though.

 **= = = = = = = = = =  
(HEROES)  
= = = = = = = = = = **

Sandra opens the door to find Claire and Peter.

Sandra: Peter! What a wonderful surprise! As handsome as ever!

Peter: Well...yeah...*blushes*

Claire: COUGH...

Sandra: Claire, are you coming down with a cold? Please make sure you don't get my precious-wecious Muggles the sniffles.

Claire: Story of my life...Can we just come in already?

Sandra: Of course! This is just as much your home as it is mine, for the both of you!

Claire: Well...me at least.

Sandra: Peter, you'll be happy to know we left your bedroom just the way you left it.

Claire: Uhh...Excuse Me? When did you ever live here?

Peter: Had a rough patch in College, your family was nice enough to let me stay.

Claire: None of that timeline adds up...AT ALL!...Was this somehow my doing with all the time jumping West and I were doing?!

Sandra: Peter...you'll see all your trophies and accolades from High School.

Peter: Wow...this brings me back.

Sandra: And Claire, I've kept the box containing your collection of Taco Bell Hot Sauce packets you've accumulated over the years.

Claire: Yeah...I'm just going to pick up my kids now. Come on, Peter.

Claire walks into the living room to see Tommy, Malina, and...

Claire: aaand...

Caspar: Hi, Claire! It's so good to meet you, I'm Caspar Abraham, and I have the power of pennies.

Peter: That's amazing!

Claire: Why do I have memories of you trying to sell me pennies while I was in childbirth?

Caspar: Because it happened! And I always have plenty to sell.

Claire: No thanks.

Peter: I"ll take two boxes of "Tagalongs, four boxes of "Thin Mints", and all the boxes you have of the "Samoa's"...they're my favorite.

Caspar: Um...I'm not selling Girl Scout Cookies.

Peter: …? I don't get it.

Caspar: I sell pennies.

Peter: ….But...you're here...and you...don't have any cookies?

Caspar: No.

Peter: But if I give you money...how do I get my cookies? Oh! I get it...I have to order them first. Where's that order form.

Caspar: No...if you give me money...I give you pennies...That's it.

Peter: Then...I give you the pennies back and THEN I get my cookies?

Caspar: NO! You give me money. I give you pennies. No cookies!

Peter: What kind of Girl Scout doesn't sell cookies?!

Caspar: I'm not a Girl Scout!

Peter: Well, not with THAT attitude. Come On, Claire! Girl Scouts Pledge!

Claire (sucking the sauce from a Taco Bell sauce packet): Nah, you got this. I'm busy.

Peter: Ready! Okay!...

Claire: …..

Caspar: ….

Sandra: …..

Muggles: …..

Tommy: …..Hi mom, by the way.

Claire (sauce packet in her mouth): Hrr...Trrmrr...

Malina: …..

Peter: …..GIRL SCOUTS!

Claire: Okay, we're leaving. Come along children.

Caspar: I can't have you do that Claire, you would be putting your children in danger.

Claire: Uh...they're my kids. So...nyeh (sticks out her tongue)

Caspar: I have orders. I have to keep these kids safe from the forces of Evil.

Claire: Uh...excuse me? Who gave you these orders?

Caspar: The angry one.

Claire: Oh right, Niki was the one who told me you were here. Well, shift change! Now you do what I say...so...thank you for your service or whatever, but you...can...leave?

Caspar: Not until I know that the evil has gone away. Sorry, Claire...it's for their safety. They're staying here.

Claire: This is quite the pickle.

Peter: Agreed.

Peter takes a bite of the pickle he's eating.

Claire: Where did you get that?

Peter looks at the pickle, then back at Claire.

Peter: …..I don't know.

Meanwhile, at a Diner on the outskirts of town. Matt wakes up from being knocked out.

Matt: Where am I...am I dead..?

He looks around.

Matt: Am I in Diner Heaven?

Mohinder: No, you were out cold because of...

Matt: Grandma! Is that you?

Matt puts his hands on Mohinder's face.

Matt: As pretty as ever, without an ounce of makeup. I missed you, you old hound dog!

Mohinder: Did you just call me a HOUND DOG after commenting on my beauty?

Emily: I...was going to ask why he calls his grandmother a...you know what...nevermind.

Molly: Yeah, I don't think I missed this.

Matt: Molly! You're alive! Look how much you've grown, I missed you too, you old hound dog!

Molly: Yep, didn't miss this one bit.

Matt: What's going on here?

Mohinder: Molly here, dragged your unconscious body to the car Emily, Quentin and I were in and made us drive outside the city. And now we're in this Diner. You didn't miss much.

Molly: You, Mohinder, and the girl I just met are the only ones I trust. The jury is still out on _you,_ buster.

Quentin: Don't worry, Emily, I'm sure you will gain her trust someday.

Emily: Uhhhh...

Molly: I'm going to start with why I went into hiding in the first place...

Molly is walking in her college.

Molly (narrating): I was interviewing for a part time job at my college, student loans were getting pretty steep.

Molly opens an envelope containing her student loan bill.

Molly (reading): Wow...that is...a LOT of commas...

Molly starts slowly rotating the page as she continues reading the numbers as they're printed along the edge of the page.

Molly: Well, I should have this paid off when I'm 100...

Molly picks up an envelope marked: "The Student Loan Bill - Part Deux...get it? It's a continuation of your Bill and sounds like "Due" because you owe us money. It's a thinking piece."

Molly: I hate it when Bill Collectors try to be funny!

Molly: So I was applying for a job at the Loans office because they wouldn't want someone who has a large amount of loans working there. It would be bad for business. So they would have to void my loans. Because that's totally how the real world works.

Molly: Hello Mr...oh...oh no...

Molly (narrating): My interviewer was dead, on the floor...I would have performed CPR but...he was kinda missing something important...that thing being his head.

Emily: Oh my...

Matt: Easy peasy. Just blow air directly into his neck hole. Everybody knows that.

Quentin: I think I just lost my lunch...seriously...it was right here and now it's gone. I bet that old lady has it.

Quentin: Excuse me, do you have my lunch? It was a Reuben Sandwich.

The old woman makes a rude hand gesture to Quentin and bolts out the door. He runs out the building.

Quentin: I hope you choke on it, you wind bag!

Quentin sits back down and gets a notification on his phone.

Quentin: OOH! I got an message from my Fitness App.

" **What a great start to the day. You've wished harm upon 1 out of 5 old ladies today. Keep it up and reach that goal."**

Quentin: Man, I'm going to be so ripped!

The police bust into the interview room.

Police: Stop! You're under arrest.

Molly: But I JUST got here. I didn't do this!

Police: We saw you on the tape.

Molly looks up and sees a security camera.

Molly: But...I JUST GOT HERE! How...

Police: You're coming with us.

Molly is being carried to a prison cell.

Molly (narrating): I was framed for a murder I didn't commit.

Molly: I told you! You've got the wrong person! I would never kill anybody.

Guard: You were the one on the surveillance camera. You can't deny it.

Molly (narrating): He was right, I saw the footage, and it was me...but I didn't do it!

Emily: How awful...whoever was impersonating you chopped off that poor person's head.

Molly: Oh, it wasn't dark like that. The Interviewer was standing on step ladder, changing a light bulb, and someone who looked like me ran into the room and shoved him off. It was just a coincidence he fell and hit his head against his desk.

Emily: And...he lost his head?

Molly: I asked the same thing. The Interviewer has a rare medical condition called "Bird Neck".

Emily: BIRD NECK!?

Molly: It's where the bones in his neck are so fragile, even the slightest trauma...POP!...You're head's gone.

Emily: I find that MORE unsettling.

Matt: Wait...Birds don't have necks! Or do they...Mohinder?

Mohinder: You're asking me if Birds have necks?

Matt: Yes.

Mohinder: They in fact do have necks.

Matt: Thank you Dr. Suresh. This is Matt Parkman from Channel 12 News. We now go back to Stacy and Chad in the studio. Stacy?

Anchorwoman Stacy looks at her partner, Chad.

Stacy: Who the heck was that and how did he just get a reporting piece on our station?!

Chad: I know!...Birds don't really have necks, do they?

Back in Texas,

Sandra: I feel like there is a lot of tension in the air, with this whole "Your kids, my kids" business.

Claire: But...they're my kids.

Sandra: How about we all get together and play a nice board game to help us relax?

Peter: I love board games.

Caspar: As do I.

Claire: I hate them with the fiery red hot passion of a thousand suns.

Sandra: GREAT! Now everyone gather round.

Sandra puts the game box on the table.

Sandra: It's the game of LIFE: Muggles edition...because he's a little cutie-patootie...

Claire: I think I'm going to throw uppie-wuppie.

Sandra: Okay, now everyone gets a game piece.

Peter: These..all look the same.

Sandra: Yes, they're all Muggles pieces.

Claire: They're...just the dogs from Monopoly...did you buy six Monopoly boards just to get six dog pieces?

Sandra: Now...Peter, since you're the youngest...

Claire: COUGH!

Sandra: ...Youngest at heart.

Claire: Well...she's got me there.

Sandra: You get to go first!

Peter spins the wheel and moves his piece.

Peter draws a card.

Peter: Hey, I graduated college. Collect $50,000 dollars.

Claire: Yeah, that's not realistic at all. My turn.

Claire moves her piece and grabs a card.

Claire: "Fortune Favors"...? What's that?

Sandra: It means I draw a life event from this hat and you have to perform it.

Claire: Uh...

Sandra: "Spring Cleaning Time! Find the nearest dog and _express its bags_."

Claire: EWWWWW! I'M NOT DOING THAT!

Sandra: You have to Claire, it's part of the rules.

Claire: Wait a minute. Was all of this just some stupid ruse so you wouldn't have to take Muggles to the vet?!

Sandra: We're a little short on cash, I went a little overboard on gifts for my Muggie Poo lately...and buying six copies of Monopoly.

Claire: You...bought the Monopoly before all this?

Sandra: I...really love Monopoly...or was it Chinese Checkers?

Claire: Two completely different games...

Continued Flashback!

The guard throws Molly into the prison cell.

Molly: I'm innocent!

Guard: Yeah, yeah. That's what they all say.

Random Prisoner: I actually committed my crime! And I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Guard: You know what? I appreciate your honestly. I'm going to let you out.

Molly: Is he serious?

The prisoner gets let out.

Prisoner: Yay!

Guard (turning to Molly): But YOU, Missy, are going to be in here for a long time.

Molly: UGH! What in the world is going on here?

Voice: I'll tell you what...

Molly looks over to her cell mate, the other "Molly" from Erica Kravid's office.

Woman: Everything you think you know is a lie.

Molly: Oh my god...so Birds don't actually have necks?!

Woman: I'm a Private Investigator. The name is _Fine_... _Fran Fine_.

Molly: Like...from _The Nanny_?

Fran: No! It's nothing like _The Nanny!_

Molly: But...that's the name of the woman from _The Nanny_!

Fran: Well, that isn't me.

Molly: Well, duh, I've watched many episodes of _The Nanny_ , you're clearly not her.

Fran: I'm a Private Investigator...doing a report on... _The Seven_.

Molly: What's The Seven?

Fran: Seven siblings...rumor has it they all have the ability to change shape. There are clearly people in this world who have special abilities. So it shouldn't come as a huge surprise. But The Seven...they have been changing their appearance since birth. And the story goes is that they only know who each other is by a bond they share...nobody knows what the other one really looks like...they don't even know if they're actually brothers or sisters outside of their changed form. But they go around...committing crimes...and framing people for murder.

Molly: I fail to see what this has to do with my exact situation. I'm in here for a crime I didn't commit.

Fran: Did you not say..."It wasn't you"...and that guard mentioned you were on the tape?

Molly: That kinda sounds like something I'd say.

Fran: One of the siblings framed you for murder.

Molly: But how do I stop them?

Fran: All I know is that they have to be stopped.

Molly: Uh, thanks, that helps (eyeroll)..…Wait...How do I know you're not one of them?

Fran: You don't...I don't know if you're one either.

They both draw guns on each other.

Molly: I guess we'll have to trust each other to find out.

Fran: I guess so.

Molly: Why do we have guns...this must not be a very good prison.

Fran: Oh, it's awful...I think I'm going to give it a _"_ One Star" On _Yelp_. But this prison jumpsuit is awfully comfy...okay Two Stars.

Molly: So how do we get out of here?

Fran: We have to find a way to stop The Seven for starters.

Molly: I...might know someone...who could help locate them... But we do have to get out first.

Guard: ….Molly Walker...someone is here to pick you up.

Fran: I'm Molly Walker.

Molly: Huh?

Fran (to Molly): Do you really think you can stop _The Seven_?

Molly: Uh...sure. Why not?

Fran: I know we just met, but I'm totally handing off this case to you.

Molly: Handing off what to the who now?

Fran: I don't have any leads. If you think you can stop them you must...stop The Seven...and make sure I get all the credit so I can bag a sweet promotion at work.

Molly: I'm so glad you have my best interest at heart.

Fran: Okay, I'm Molly Walker...take me away.

She turns back to Molly.

Fran: Trust no one...Seven of them are out there...and they can be anybody...

The guard escorts "Molly" out to another truck. In the cell, Molly looks into a mirror to see an old man starting back at her.

Molly: AHHHHH! I'M ONE OF THEM!

Molly looks closer and realizes the mirror is just a hole leading to the adjacent cell.

Old Man (primping): Prison is doing wonders for me. I look fabulous!

Molly: This prison sucks.

The Driver finishes locking up the car with "Molly" in it and drives away.

Present Day.

Elle and Niki are interrogating "Molly".

Niki: We're not getting anywhere with this broad. She won't tell us anything about Kravid or where she's headed.

Elle (to "Molly"): Good, don't tell us anything. We don't want to know anyway!

"Molly": Good.

Elle: Well, I'm out of ideas.

Niki: Good hustle, now go hit the showers...(eyeroll)

Elle: GASP! Are you saying I stink?!

Niki: It's just a phr...oh, shut up...

Niki sits down as Elle smells herself.

Niki: Listen...you lost...it's only a matter of time before we get your boss. The best thing you can do is give up her location so we can get on with our lives quicker...you may even face less jail time for cooperating with us. Not being an actual figure of authority, I completely have the right to say that.

"Molly": I...don't remember why I started working for Erica...it's a little hazy...

Elle: Scrambled Egg Brains, eh? Well, we have just the ticket.

Niki: We do?

Elle: Best way to descramble those eggs is to get the finest unscrambler in the business. Skippy!

Rene walks in.

Niki: Uh...that's all he does is scramble brains...how is he going to be any help?! And stop talking about eggs, I'm starving!

Elle: Okay, Sparky, I need you to wipe this one's brain clean...but not too much. I need her to remember why she started working for Erica Kravid.

Rene: I'll do my best.

Rene walks over and holds his hand up to "Molly" head...

Rene: I can sense when her memory was originally erased...I can restore her to her previous memory before then.

Elle: Excellent!

Rene lowers his hand as "Molly" exits from a tranced state.

Niki: So...you wanna talk now?

"Molly": Yes...

Niki: Great, let's get the obvious out of the way. You're not really Molly Walker, are you?

Woman: No...my name is Fran...Fran Fine.

Niki: …..like...from _The Nanny?_

Fran: NO! It has no relation...

Niki: If you say so...so what gives? Why are you pretending to be Molly Walker?

Fran: I did it, when we were imprisoned.

Niki: So you two have met?

Fran: Yes...I offered to trade places with her. She was being taken away...I took her place.

Niki: Why?

Fran: I am trying to get to the bottom of a mysterious group called The Seven...

Niki: How original.

Fran: They're a group of brothers and sisters who are evil shape shifters...they can pose as anybody...

Elle: HOLD UP! Shape Shifters!? I am also trying to hunt these evil doers down...how do I find them?

Fran: That's what I'm trying to accomplish. Molly said she knew somebody who could help...so I left it in her hands so she wouldn't be kidnapped. I remember being taken to Erica Kravid...and she had me brainwashed.

Niki: So the real Molly is still out there.

Elle: I am also familiar with the shifters' work, they have killed many. And very likely they have been posing as my father to lure me into Erica's clutches. In fact I shot one earlier posing as my dad! For Justice!

Fran: You shot one that looked like your dad, that would have been difficult for me.

Elle: Nah, we're always playing around like that. You should attend a Bishop Thanksgiving! The Turkey is the only thing that makes it out in one piece!

Niki: Don't ever invite me to your house for the Holidays. So where is Molly now?

Fran: No clue...I haven't seen her since the prison...

Flashback.

Another guard meanwhile escorts someone who looks like Fran into Molly's cell.

Molly: Um...you're back?

Woman: What are you talking about. I'm a private Investigator. The names Fine... _Fran Fine_.

Molly: Ugh...I'm already hating this sub plot.

Fran: I need to tell you about The Seven...

Molly: I already know...

Fran: WHAT!? How? Who told you?

Molly: Um...you...?

Fran: That must have been one of them!

Molly: Great.

Fran: We have to get out of here! Now! GUARDS!

A guard walks up.

Fran: This woman and I would like to admit guilt for our crimes.

Guard: Uh...duh. That's why you're in here.

Fran: Oh, you won't do.

Fran grabs a pipe and knocks it over the guard's head.

Guard: OOF!

Another guard runs up.

Guard: What happened here!?

Fran: I bonked him on the head. (pointing to Molly) And SHE helped!

Guard: Today is such a great day for honesty! This world is becoming a better place a little bit each day. You two are free to go!

Fran leaves the cell. Molly, still trying to process what's happening, eventually follows her out.  
Molly and Fran are walking down the street.

Fran: Okay, just come with me. Everything will be all right.

The stop to see Noah Bennet in front of them.

Noah: Molly!

Molly: Mr. Bennet? What's going on here?

Noah: I need you to step away from that person. They're a dangerous shape shifter!

Fran: Adam! No!

Molly: Who the crap is Adam!?

Noah: I'm sorry Sam. I can't let you do this. She comes with me.

Molly: Who the crap is Sam?! I'm so lost.

Fran (Sam): Adam, you know how I felt about working for Kravid. I think all of us are making a huge mistake!

Noah (Adam): She is the only one who can help us! She can remove our powers and we can finally be our real selves!

Fran (Sam): I don't trust her, Adam. I won't go along with it! It's not worth it to cause so much chaos in the world!

Noah (Adam): Then...I'm sorry.

Noah (Adam) shoots Fran (Sam). She falls to the ground.

Molly: AHHH! Girl I just met for the first time twice! Are you okay?

Fran (Sam): You...need to run...

Molly: But...what about all your icky blood stuff?

Fran (Sam): I'll be fine...just...trust no one...just run.

Molly pulls out a flash grenade.

Molly: I got this at a discounted price thanks to Amazon Prime!

Molly throws the grenade.

BANG!

A white light blinds everyone. Molly eventually stumbles out, her hands in front of her.

Molly: I should have ponied up the extra cash for the sunglasses, god I'm so cheap...

Noah (Adam): That was a mistake.

Fran (Sam): I don't care, I know we're family...but this is wrong. I will stop all of you if I have to.

Noah shifts into Bob Bishop.

Bob (Adam): I'm going after this guy's daughter now. I'll deal with Walker later.

Bob (Adam) walks over to finish Fran (Sam) off, Fran (Sam) manages to fling out a small blade she had tucked in her dress, it sticking in Bob (Adam's) neck.

Fran (Sam): I'm...so sorry Adam...

Fran (Sam) gets to her feet and stumbles away. Flash forward to the police eventually show up, as Nathan sneaks by and reaps the person's soul.

Molly rounds the corner and bumps into Niki.

Niki: Oh my god...Molly! What happened?

Molly: Something weird's going on...I'm being stalked by...

Niki looks legitimately concerned. Molly becomes suspicious.

Molly: ….Niki?

Niki: Yeah?

Molly: What are your thoughts on...Mohinder?

Niki: Dr. Suresh?

Molly squints her eyes.

Molly: ….yeah.

Niki: ...He seems like a pretty smart guy.

Molly: AHHH! Get away from me!

Molly takes off running.

"Niki" gets on the phone.

"Niki": Yeah, sorry...almost had her.

Back to the present. Niki and Elle start to leave the HQ.

Niki: Looks like we're going to have to hunt down Molly so we can make sure she's safe.

Noah: I'm going with you.

Niki: Why? We can take care of ourselves.

Elle: Yeah, Mr. B. We're going to show you how capable we are.

Elle looks down to see a bullet hole.

Elle: WHEN DID I GET SHOT?!

Noah: Yeah, I'm coming with you. Mostly because I spent the last twenty minutes having everyone else drone about video games and it almost put me to sleep.

Elle: Welcome aboard...but just remember...I'M in charge of this operation. Your first order...find out who shot me. Seriously, that's going to bug the crap out of me.

Luke is driving while Nathan is in the passenger seat.

Nathan (staring at his cup): Hmm...I think I forgot I don't care for Jello.

Luke: I don't know where to even begin searching for Joanne.

Nathan: If she's anything like you, she can fake a death and...

Luke: Great idea!

Luke gets on the phone.

Nathan: HEY! I'm not actually condoning that!

Joanne's phone is ringing, she is still tied up.

Joanne: Well, that is just great.

Edgar walks over and picks up the phone.

Edgar (on the phone): Joanne speaking.

Joanne: He's not even trying anymore.

Luke: Hi...this is Dr...

Luke puts the phone down.

Luke (to Nathan): Make up a name.

Nathan: Why?

Luke: Just do it.

Nathan: …...Luke...Collins.

Luke: That's...my name. What's your name again?

Nathan: I'm not going to let you use my name and ruin MY reputation. Just make up a name yourself.

Luke: I can't! I'm driving!

Nathan: That...doesn't make any sense.

Luke: Hurry!

Nathan looks outside for some inspiration. He sees a poster of someone wearing glasses.

 **LOOK TOWARD A BRIGHTER TOMORROW! WITH GLASSES MART!**

Nathan: Hmm...

Nathan sees the sign next to it.

 **PHONECOM WIRELESS! WHO'S CALLIN? GREAT SERVICE, THAT'S WHO!**

Nathan: …."Look"..."Callin"...Luke Collins!

Luke: NO! That's still my name!

Nathan: Why are you making this so difficult?

Luke (on the phone): Ugh...Um...This is the Doctor's Office...I'm calling for Joanne Collins...her test results are in.

Edgar (to himself): Hmm...that's really none of my business.

Edgar (on the phone): Okay, here she is.

Edgar walks over to Joanne to hand her the phone. Joanne kicks her legs up around Edgar's neck and kicks him in the back of the head, knocking him out. She scrambles for the phone.

Joanne: Luke! I have a bone to pick with you!

Luke: It's so wonderful to hear your voice, honey! We need to save you.

Joanne: There's no time for that. Why didn't you tell me you had special powers?!

Sylar: Yeah, no rush on that...butt isn't falling asleep from all this sitting around or anything.

Luke: Oh...you figured it out...I'm sorry I didn't tell you...but...you just hate people with abilities so much...and I didn't want you to think me passing them down to our son would make you think I was responsible for putting him at risk.

Joanne: Oh...Luke...that's exactly what I thought!

Luke: Uhhh...

Joanne: To be honest...I was upset...I hated people with abilities...but now...

Luke: Yes...

Joanne: …..I still kinda do...but I don't hate you. And I could never hate our son.

Luke: That's...good.

Joanne: And that was the whole reason I'm in this mess. I'm trying to find a way to have our son's powers removed...but maybe...it's something I can live with too. Both of you having these...abilities. It will take some time for me to adjust...I'm aiming for when I'm in my early 80's.

Luke: I'm so relieved to hear you say that.

Joanne: But we'll start slow...and make it work. Well...now that we're free...

Sylar: Yay! Even though I'm technically not free yet!

Joanne: ….And this one's down for the count...(looks at Edgar)

Luke: What are you suggesting?

Joanne (to Sylar): I can hold THIS one for ransom!

Sylar: HEY!

Luke: Honey, remember the seminar we went to?

Joanne: Ugh...yes..."Ransoms are bad, Letting people free is rad"...Don't remind me.

Sylar: That's an actual seminar?!

Joanne: I think I'm just ready to go home...but I have no idea where I'm at. My GPS sucks out here.

Luke: I think I know a way...it might involve a death.

Joanne: I'm listening...

Nathan and Luke show up at the building where Joanne and Sylar are being held.

Nathan: Um...why is Sylar with you?

Joanne: Long story involving a Pirate Wedding...

Nathan: I'm not going to press on that.

Sylar: That's probably for the best.

Luke: How were we able to find you?

Nathan walks over and picks up a little Lego Person...its head is missing.

Nathan: Oh, that's dark. Even for Lego!...Man, no wonder I suck at this Grim Reaper job, I can't tell a real death from...a toy's.

Joanne: What's so dark about it? The poor man fell and his head popped off because he was born with "Bird Neck".

Nathan: ….I'm not going to press on that either.

Nathan unties Sylar.

Sylar: Thank you, and no thanks to YOU (to Joanne) for not attempting to untie me even though you've been free for two hours waiting on them to show up.

Joanne: Well, if you would have offered to help make the Lego Person's death look like an accident, maybe I would have untied you.

Sylar: I'd like to go now.

Edgar regains consciousness, he hops to his feet and has a knife next to Sylar's neck.

Edgar: Nobody's going anywhere. I made a promise to keep this one (motions the blade to Sylar) out of harm's way.

Joanne: Well...I'm over my mission...plan on leaving with my husband...(to Nathan) this one's...

Nathan: Gotta get back to work.

Joanne: So...there's no sense of danger here...at least for us. So...bye?

Sylar: HEY!

Edgar: Hmm...I guess so...

Sylar: That's it! I am getting sick of just being a stupid...prisoner...

Smoke starts emanating from behind Sylar.

Edgar: Uhhh...

Sylar emits an explosion, that sends Edgar flying. Luke, Joanne, and Nathan all fly backward.

Sylar: If this Erica Kravid wants me so badly...she can have me.

Edgar (coughing): W...wait!

Sylar: I don't need any of you nerds.

Sylar raises his hand up and blasts a hole through the ceiling.

Luke flicks his wrist.

Luke: Did he...just take my power?

Nathan: Oh yeah, he used to be known for that. Just be glad he didn't use his old methods. They were...not pleasant.

Luke: ….I'm suddenly interested.

Joanne: Me too.

Nathan: I don't want to go into all the gory details about all the brain eating...oh, already did. Spoiler Alert!

Sylar: I didn't eat brains! We've been over this! I just...examined them.

Joanne: I find that more disgusting.

Luke: Me too.

Sylar: More than eating!? Whatever, I'm outta here...I'm going to make the world fear me!

Nathan: What are you saying? Are you evil again?

Sylar: No...I'm neutral...I do what I think is best for me...I'm on...TEAM SYLAR.

Sylar rips his shirt off to reveal a shirt underneath that reads **TEAM BELLA**. **SHE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' MAN!**

Sylar: Yike. How long have I had THIS on?

Edgar: You're making a huge mistake!

Luke: Seriously, everybody knows it's " _Team Jacob_ ". Duh.

Joanne shoots him a look.

Luke: Er...I mean _Team Edward_.

Joanne: That's better.

Nathan: Sorry, I don't watch _The Wizards Of Waverly Place_ or whatever it is you two are going on about talking about...

Joanne and Luke: HISS!

Nathan: Geez! Did I strike a nerve?...Did you both just hiss at me?!

Sylar lowers his hands and blasts off into the sky.

Luke: What?! I could have done THAT!? That's like Iron Man! Man...now I want my powers back.

Edgar: If it's anything like last time...you'll have them back eventually.

Luke: Oh, that's good.

Edgar: No it's not! You idiots let him escape. Erica Kravid is going to get him now.

Nathan: He has blasty powers now...are you sure he's in any danger...because I'm really over this plot.

Edgar: But if he loses them, she'll have him in her custody. She will destroy the world, millions will DIE!

Nathan: Well, crap...that just puts more work on my desk, so I GUESS I have to be interested now.

Molly: Seven siblings, two of them are dead. Five remain. They could be anyone...

Niki, Elle, and Noah are walking down the street.

Claire, Peter, Caspar, Sandra, and the Twins are all helping give Muggles a bath.

West shuffles some papers at the office, he looks over at Janice who brings him more papers to shuffle.

Erica and Harris Prime looks over their plans in the Mobile Evil Unit.

Erica: Wait...we seriously didn't name it that, did we!? I hate it!

Quentin's sister, Phoebe, sits quietly in the corner. She looks over to see Micah hooked up to a machine.

Hiro, Ando, and Miko are going over aspects of the Evernow Online Universe. Zach is watching them from not far away.

Rene shows Fran a room to hide out in while they plan to take down Erica. Fran lies down on the bed as Rene leaves the room.

Edgar, Joanne, Luke and Nathan are driving in a car back into the city.

Sylar is on top of a building. He looks down to see Erica's Mobile Base. He opens his palm to emit a small blast of heat.

Sylar: Whew...still got it...

Molly returns from the restroom and heads back to the table.

Molly: Okay, we can't stay here...we need to keep moving.

Molly looks up to see Niki, Elle, and Noah walk into the Diner.

Niki: How many freaking Diners and I going to have to be in this season? The producers need to spring for some more imaginative sets.

Molly: They found us at the only Diner / Horse Clinic in town!

Niki: Well, now I'm grossed out. I should have kept my mouth shut.

Molly pulls out a gun.

Niki: Uh...whoa...

Mohinder: Molly, you don't have to resort to that.

Mohinder and the others get up from the table.

Noah: Molly...it's us...you know us.

Molly: No...I don't. I can't trust anybody. You could be a shapeshifter. In fact you could be one of them!

Elle: GASP! Mr. B! How could you?!

Noah: Oh, please. I'm not one of them. You have to believe me.

Molly: We're leaving...and you're not following us.

Noah: Molly, this is for your own protection. We need to keep you away from Erica Kravid. She is planning on using you for your abilities.

Molly: No...

Noah: …..

Molly: …..I plan on using you for _hers_.

Noah, confused, looks over at Elle.

Noah: Say what now?

Molly pulls out a device and presses the button on it. A large explosion shatters the windows of the restaurant. Noah, Elle and Niki fall to the ground as they get overcome with smoke. Matt, Mohinder, Quentin and Emily take cover, as they soon become blinded by the smoke as well.

Emily: Ahhh!

Quentin: My sinuses!

Niki: What happened?!

Noah: Was...was that?! Where's Molly...and Elle!? Elle!

While everyone stumbles around, Molly drags out an unconscious Elle. She gets on the phone.

Molly: Pick me up. I have Bishop.

A car pulls up, "Matt" is at the steering wheel

Flashback to Molly walking down a hallway to the restroom in the Diner, Matt walks up behind her.

Matt: Hey Molly, can I borrow your phone real quick? Sorry.

Molly: Are you planning on playing Fortnite?

Matt: I am planning on playing Fortnite.

Molly: Fine.

She hands Matt the phone.

Matt: Yay...and I'm dead. Going back to Candy Crush.

Molly: Just don't run down my battery.

As soon as Molly turns around, Matt chloroforms her. He drags her body to a back door where another "Molly" awaits.

"Molly" (to "Matt): Meet me out front, this won't take long.

She makes her way to the table.

Present.

"Matt": Not bad...two birds with one stone.

"Molly" throws Elle in the back with the real Molly. She gets in the car and they drive off.

Meanwhile, in Texas.

Claire: Well, mom, it's been fun. But we need to get going to save the world. Come along now, children.

Caspar: Claire, might I remind you I made a promise to Niki. I can't let you leave.

Claire: That's cool and all...but we're going to do just that...so...come along now children.

Tommy: We've been standing behind you next to the door for like, thirty minutes. We're waiting on you.

Caspar pulls out a gun.

Claire: Uhhh...

Caspar: I said...nobody is going anywhere.

Sandra: Caspar, is that one of those guns that shoots things?

Claire: As opposed to...?

Caspar: Now everyone here is going to sit back down...and wait for help to arrive.

Claire and Peter look at each other.

Claire: What are you talking about?

Caspar smiles as Tommy and Malina pass out.

Claire: AHH! Tommy! Malina! What is this?!

Sandra passes out on the couch.

Peter: Uh...

Caspar: Sorry Claire, I have orders to keep them safe...from you.

Caspar changes shape to look like Noah.

"Noah": Oh maybe you'll listen to your father.

Claire: What...what's happening?

"Noah" changes shape back into Caspar.

Caspar: Sorry, Claire. But this is just business. I take it neither of you ate any of the cookies I drugged.

Claire: We had cookies?!

Peter: Aw man...

Caspar: Both of you just sit here until my backup arrives.

Peter: Does this mean the power of pennies isn't real?

Caspar: Of course not!

Peter: Aw...

Caspar: Now I'm not going to tell you again...sit down.

Claire: Jokes on you, pal. You might have some tricks up your sleeve, but so does HE (motions to Peter). Get him, Peter!

Peter: ALLRIGHT!

Peter whips out his guitar, sporting a hot pink wig and heavy eye makeup.

 _Jem! Jem is excitement._

 _Oooh Jem. Jem is adventure._

A car swing by and picks Peter up.

 _Oooh, Glamour and glitter, fashion and fame._

A hunky guy leans in to kiss Peter. Peter swipes the guy's Sub Sandwich punch card from his pocket and pushes him away.

 _Jem! Jem is truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous._

Peter's face on a magazine, he winks.

 _Whoa Jem! Jem, the music's contagious, outrageous._

Peter is performing on a giant star with his band.

A hunky guy leans in to kiss Peter. Peter swipes the guy's autographed Baseball card from his pocket and pushes him away. He immediately puts it up for sale on eBay.

 _Jem is my name, no one else is the same. Jem is my name._

Hiro, Matt, and Elle pop up wearing similar wigs and face makeup.

Hiro, Matt, and Elle (singing) _: But we're The Misfits! Our songs are better! We are The Misfits! The Misfits! And we're gonna get her!_

 _Jem! Jem, The music's contagious, outrageous._

A hunky guy leans in to kiss Peter, Peter swipes the guy's tickets to _Hamilton_ from hispocket and pushes him away.

Guy: I have got to stop keeping things in my pocket!

 _Jem is my name, no one else is the same. Jem is my name. JEM!_

Claire: …...What...the actual hell was that?

Peter: Are you serious!? I said it like...forty times in the song!

Claire: Was that supposed to be a (finger quotes) POWER?! Where would you even get that?!

Peter: When we ran up to Taco Bell...what a waste, you didn't even order a single taco for me.

Peter looks over to see Claire slowly pulling out a drained hot sauce packet.

Claire: …...What?

 **To Be Continued**


	9. The Beta Test

**The Heroes Parody Project  
Season 6  
Chapter 9**

 _The Heroes Parody Project is a fan parody of the television show, Drop Dead Diva, and is copyright Tim Kring and NBC. I do not own anything and am not, do not represent, or know any of the cast and crew of the show. Any similarities to any real life people or events is purely coincidental. Reader Discretion is advised._

Elle is sitting in a chair, dressed in all black. She is sporting a large black wig.

Elle: Good evening, boys and GHOULS! I am Elle-vira! Mistress of the Dark! And welcome to another rendition of….Elle-vira….mistress of the dark. Join us won't you…for another tale of horror, murder, spooks, scares, and maybe some romance if you're into that sort of thing. Just remember to leave the lights on…MWAHAHAHAHA!

Noah: Uh…what is this?

Elle: Mr. B, what do you think it is? I'm trying to do a thing here. It's Halloween and I'm preparing the audience for the scare of their life.

Noah: Halloween was almost two months ago.

Elle: I meant Thanksgiving.

Elle puts on a Pilgrim hat.

Noah: About a month ago.

Elle: Then….did we hit Christmas yet?

Noah: No, Elle. Christmas hasn't happened yet.

She puts a set of Reindeer Antlers on top of her Pilgrim Hat.

Elle: Then join me, won't you? For a Holiday Collection to DIE for….GYAHAHAHAHA!

Noah: I don't think we have the money for any parodies this episode….or those hats. You return those to Party City at once!

Elle: Nonsense! I checked the accounts, we're getting more and more money everyday!

Noah: How do you know this?

Elle: Get with the times, Pepaw...

Noah: Don't call me Pepaw.

Elle: It's called an "app".

Noah looks at her phone and sees a number getting larger and larger.

Noah: Uh...Elle...there's a _minus sign_ next to this number.

Elle: So?

Noah: That means we're going into the negative. We're blowing money we don't have!

Elle: But the number is getting bigger. We're rich I tell you, rich!

Noah: Do you seriously not know how positive and negative numbers work? Might I add the numbers are also red! And dripping with blood...wow, this bank is dark...

Elle: A fitting start to our HallowThanksMas Movie Collection! And begin!

Noah; HallowThanks-what?

Peter is eating dinner at the table with his family. His wife Niki is super pregnant. Their kids, Tommy and Malina, are playing with their food.

Tommy (using sign language with his hands): **Isn't it great that they started letting us participate in these pre-show sketches?**

Malina (signing back): **It is my understanding they're usually not very good and cost lots of money.**

Peter (signing): **Let us all give thanks that we live in this world where we cannot make a sound or monsters will get us.**

Niki (signing): **And I'M pregnant.**

Peter (sign): **Sweetheart, would you mind going down to the basement to get the mayonnaise? I can never find it.**

Niki (sign): **Sure, I'm twenty months pregnant, but whatever...**

Niki gets up and slowly walks over to the stairs. She tries to walk very carefully not to trigger the monsters.

Niki (sign): **Since I'm pregnant, I better take off these shoes...who am I signing to?**

Niki takes her shoes off, exposing her bare feet. She starts slowly going down the stairs. One of the steps has a nail sticking out of it...she steps on it.

Niki (signing): **AHHHHHHHHHH!**

She quickly takes her foot off the nail, clasping her hand over her mouth so she doesn't scream. She continues down to the next step...which has a nail sticking out of it.

Niki (signing): **OH MY GOD! AHHHH! WHO BUILT THIS HOUSE?! SON OF A-**

Niki finally makes it to the basement...the roar of a monster echoes throughout the room. She holds her breath...trying not to make a sound.

Niki: …...

She breathes a sigh of relief and makes her way over to the refrigerator. She slowly open the door and reaches into the fridge to grab the jar of mayonnaise. She clamps her hand down on jar's lid...which has a nail sticking out of it.

Niki: …..

Niki enters the dining room and chucks the jar of Mayonnaise at the back of Peter's head.

THUNK!

Niki (signing): **THERE'S YOUR STUPID MAYONNAISE!**

Peter (signing): **Thanks!** **Oh, I'm sorry, did I say mayonnaise? I meant mustard.**

Malina (signing): **You two do realize we're eating soup, right? I mean, to each their own...**

Peter (signing): **Oh, that's right.**

Peter grabs his spoon.

Peter: SLUUUUUUUUUURP!

Monsters: ROOOOAAAAAAR!

Niki: Oh, forget this...

Niki gets up and picks up the table from one end. All the dishes crash onto the floor.

Niki: And now we're dead. NEXT!

A car drives up to a cliff.

Claire: I knew this was a bad idea...but I have to find my friend. She's gone missing!

Claire holds up a picture of Elle, whose teeth are caked in black from eating Oreos.

Claire: She was always awful at taking pictures.

West (in the driver's seat): Well, Claire, as Captain of The Football Team...and Captain of being your boyfriend...I won't let anything bad happen to you.

Claire: Thanks! As Captain of The Cheerleading Squad...I'm the most popular girl in school!

Matt (wearing a large blonde wig and oversized sunglasses): AS IF! You seem to forget you're in the presence of the Captain of The Fashion Club. That means I outrank all you losers.

Claire: What are you doing on our date?!

Matt: It's a double date. Duh!

She looks over at Peter, who has slicked back greased hair and sporting a leather jacket. And Mohinder, who is typing something on his laptop.

Matt: Which one of you am I dating?

Peter: I only date one thing...breaking the rules.

Matt: That's...not a thing. (To Mohinder) You! Nerd Alert! Let's date!

Mohinder: Sorry Captain, I'm already in a committed relationship with Siri.

Mohinder holds up his iPhone.

Mohinder: Siri...you look awfully beautiful today. Tell me how much you love me!

Siri: _Martin Landau is an American Actor, best known for his work on the 1966 CBS Television Show, Mission: Impossible_.

Mohinder (blushes): Oh, stop...all my friends are here. You're embarrassing me...

Matt: We're not friends.

Peter: I'm only friends with breaking the rules...(puts more grease in his hair).

Claire: West...the reason I brought you out here...was because of... _The Slenderman_.

West: You're leaving me for someone thinner? Oh, Claire, I never pegged you as being so shallow!

Claire: No, you dolt! I'm talking about the legend of The Slenderman...you summon him...and he kills!

West: ….that's it?

Claire: What where you expecting? A full backstory?

West: ...Well...yeah.

Claire: When I last talked to Elle...I couldn't understand what she was saying because she wouldn't stop eating freaking Oreos for five seconds! I just knew she had come out here to summon him.

Matt: Like...what is dripping back here...(to Peter)...is that your hair grease?!

Peter: Maybe it is...I'm just a loner...who likes to play by his own rules...I'm a rebel like that.

Peter slips more grease into his hair and flips his bangs, grease splatters in Matt and Mohinder's faces.

Mohinder: ACK!

Matt: EWWW!

Peter (singing): _Summer Lovin'...had me a blaaast..._

Cut to Matt.

Matt: ...I don't know that song, I've never seen _Boogie Nights_.

Peter: Boogie Nigh-DUDE! That's _Grease!_

Matt: Dude...that's not a real thing.

Peter: Dude! Yes it is!

Claire: DUDE, WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP AND STICK TO THE RIGHT MOVIE!?

 _ **BUMP! CLANG!**_

Claire: What was that?! I heard a noise...

West: I'll go investigate.

Claire: West, no! If something were to happen to you...I'd have to go to the Fall Dance by myself...and facing away from the crowd with my arms crossed over my shoulders to give the illusion someone's dancing with me NEVER WORKS!

Mohinder: That's because you don't know how to do it. (To Matt) Here...hold my laptop.

He hands Matt the laptop.

Mohinder: And my Chemistry Set.

Matt: ...Uhhh...

Mohinder: And my _Star Wars Lego Death Star_. Do NOT break it.

Matt: I already rebuilt it as The Starship Enterprise…..

Mohinder: YOU WHAT?! That's a Cardinal Sin….

Matt: Why are you bringing birds into the conversation?

Mohinder: I'm not talking about…

Claire: Hello?! Getting a crick in my neck, you going to show my something or what!?

Mohinder: Oh, sorry….

Mohinder turns around in his seat and drapes his arms over his own shoulders.

Mohinder: Some mood music please.

Peter (singing): _We go together...Like rama lama lama, ka dinga da dinga dong..._

Cut to Matt.

Matt: I've never seen any of the _Fast And The Furious_ movies either.

Peter: I'M STILL DOING GREASE!

Matt: I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!

Mohinder: You two are totally ruining the mood.

Claire: Okay, I'm getting back to our story now...what was it?...Oh right...West! NO! Don't go!...

West: Don't worry, Claire. I'm doing this for us...because _This Is Us..._

 _ **Next time: On the NBC critically acclaimed drama...This Is Us...**_

Claire: NO! The last time we parodied that show my name got changed to _"Slappy Bennet"_! It took me months to get that reversed!

Peter: Oh, we stopped calling you that?

Claire: Just...go do your thing!

West: Okay, I'll be right back.

West gets out of the car.

Claire turns around to the back seat. Peter is slathering himself in more grease, Mohinder is dancing with himself, Matt is primping his hair.

Claire: So...anybody have any good gossip?

Matt: I heard that Claire Bennet is a total witch!...But that's none of my business.

Matt takes a sip of tea...but realizes it's only an empty cup with a teabag in it.

Matt: I feel like I'm missing a step here...

Claire: I still don't know why I invited you fools.

Claire looks over to see a bag in the driver's seat.

Claire: Where did this bag come from?

Claire grabs a note that was attached to the bag. It reads: **WEST'S BODY PARTS.**

Claire: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Claire turns the note over, it reads: **I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE.**

Claire: Oh no, I'm single again! AHHHHHH!

Peter looks sharply towards Claire, flinging grease on Matt and Mohinder again.

Mohinder: ACK!

Matt: DUDE!

Peter: Claire! What's wrong!?

Claire: My fortune cookie told me my boyfriend was going to leave me _in pieces_...but I didn't think it would mean LITERALLY. I'm going to stop eating Chinese Food...those cookies are starting to get too real.

Matt: Can't you...just eat the food and not the cookie?

Mohinder: That's impossible! Everybody eats the cookie. I for one love them. I still have mine from lunch.

Mohinder opens his fortune cookie that reads: **YOU'RE NEXT**.

Mohinder suddenly has his head through his laptop screen, hanging around his neck.

Claire: AHHHHHHHH! Can you people stop dying? All this screaming is giving me a sore throat.

Matt: Well, there goes my Midterms this semester. Pete, gonna need you to give me the answers.

Peter: Can't….cause I'm a _Beauty School Dropout_.

Matt: Oh god, he's still singing "Bedknobs and Broomsticks"…

Peter: I give up…

Claire: We have to get out of here and run directly towards the danger!

Claire, Matt, and Peter get out and run towards the woods. A mysterious figure appears before Matt. Matt pulls out a baseball bat.

Matt: _Sincerely Yours, The Breakfast Club_ _ **!**_

He bashes the figure over the head.

Matt: WHACK!

Matt: Well...this is more of a bat...not a club...But the "Breakfast Bat" sounds stupid...I need to invest in a club.

Man: OW! What's wrong with you...I'm just a person walking through the forest!

Matt: That's what all you killers say. I fell asleep during "Freddy VS Jason" AND walked out of "Halloween H20", I know how to survive these things!

Claire: Peter! Matt!...Where are you?...UGH...This forest would be a lot easier to navigate if there weren't so many damn trees in it!

Claire steps in something...she looks down and sees a giant puddle of grease.

Claire: PETER! He must have greased himself to death...that's...a really stupid way to go...I mean...AHHHH! OW, MY THROAT!

Claire takes off running, flailing her arms.

Matt comes face to face with The Slenderman.

Matt: Come at me, Bro! I can take anyone down.

The Slenderman hands Matt a note. Matt opens it up.

 **You're wearing white shoes after Labor Day.**

Matt looks down.

Matt: EEEEEEEEK!

Matt drops dead.

Claire comes up upon Matt's body.

Claire: They're dead...they're all dead.

She smiles.

Claire: And that's exactly what I wanted...because...

Claire removes her face, revealing a circuit board.

Claire: _I was an Android the entire time!_

Claire (watching): DID THEY DIGITALLY MAKE ME DO THAT AGAIN?! I'm suing someone! I don't know who….but they're gonna get it….

Claire storms off and enters a room...she is in a fancy dining room, dressed in all black.

Claire: Uhh...what is this?

Sandra: Claire, darling, come sit down. We're about to eat...you're also embarrassing us in front of the guests.

At the table is Matt and Niki, across from them is Nathan and Elle, Sandra and Noah are sitting on opposite sides of the table.

Claire takes a seat.

Claire (to Matt): ...Didn't you die in the forest like…30 seconds ago...?

Matt: Now, Claire, favor us about these ghosts you've been seeing.

Claire: Excuse me?

Sandra: No, I am sick of that subject.

Matt: Oh, Sandra, lighten up...

Sandra: I would rather talk about...

Nathan and Niki: ...

Sandra: …...

Claire: …...

Noah: …..

Matt and Elle: …...

Sandra: …... _DAY-O!...DAAAAY-O_!... _Daylight come and me wanna go home_...

Noah: This better not be what I think it is...

Sandra: _DAY, me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day-o! Daylight come and me wanna go home_.

Sandra and Noah stand up.

Sandra: _Work all night on a drink of rum_.

Everyone starts suddenly wiping their faces with their napkin.

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home_.

Claire: UHHHH...

Sandra: _Stack banana 'til the morning come_.

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home_.

Matt gets to his feet and grabs the ice bucket, he starts playing it.

Sandra: _Come Mister tally man, tally me banana_.

Sandra and Noah start turning around while the others wave their hands in the air.

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home_.

Sandra: _Come Mister tally man, tally me banana_.

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home._

Everybody else gets up as they all start moving their hands one on top of the other. Claire remains seated in her chair, staring in bewilderment.

All: _Lift six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch_!

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home._

All: _Six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch_!

They all grab hands and sway from side to side.

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home._

Sandra: _Day, me say day-o._

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home._

Sandra: _Day, me say day, me say day, me say day-o._

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home_.

Sandra: _A beautiful bunch of ripe banana._

They all turn around and stick their rear ends in the air, they shake them from side to side.

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home._

Sandra: _Hide the deadly black tarantula_!

They all sit back down.

All: _Daylight come and me wanna go home_.

A hand shoots out of Claire's dinner and grabs her face, sending her flying backwards.

Claire: This is my birthday party all over again…

We cut back to….

Elle: Elle-vira!...And so ends another rendition of...

Noah: I'm sorry, wasn't this supposed to be a Thanksgiving and Christmas Special? I didn't see anything like that in there.

Elle: Oh…keep watching.

Claire goes flying back in her chair.

Claire: This is my birthday party all over again.

Matt: This dinner is delicious!

Santa Claus: You said it, Matt.

Turkey: Gobble! Gobble!

Santa Claus: You got that right, Turkey!

Everybody at the table laughs.

Noah: Uhhh….

Elle: Mr. B! Are you accusing me of taking forever to make the Halloween Special and shoe horning in icons of proceeding Holidays as a poor attempt to make it a multiple holiday special?

Noah: …..I...am now?

Elle: And so ends another rendition of...Elle-Vira! Mistress of the Dark! Happy Hall-

Noah: Do you even have the rights to that character?

Elle: Noah, Mr. B, Sweetie, Honey, Baby, Sugar Pie, Sugar Loaf, Honey Badger, Sweetums...I need you to shush so I can have the last line in this. Then we can start the show. HAP-

Noah: The last line!? Why?

Elle: Noah, Sugar Lumps, Honey Pie, Sweetie Prince, Choco Muffin, Cherry Sweetums, Honey Barbecue Chicken Wings, Princess Bubblegum, Peppermint Butler, Lumpy Space Princess...

Noah: Please stop calling me things…

Elle: Happy Halloween! Now cut to the damn shot of the Earth already!

Noah: It's not Halloween!

 **Sylar: Previously on Heroes...**

At Powers Anonymous, a place where people talk about their powers anonymously...pretty self explanatory.

Luke: My name is Luke Collins. And I have a Power...

Group: HI JEFF!  
Luke: ...um...who's Jeff?! That sounds nothing like what I just said.

Luke (to Nathan): I'm hiding my ability from my wife, she would never understand. She hates people with abilities and somehow blames them because our son has one too.

Nathan: I didn't really ask for your life story, I'm just here to reap her soul (points to Miko Otomo, also in the group), being the Grim Reaper and all...

Miko: I am from the videogame Evernow, and monsters from my game are being released into this world. I have to stop them.

Joanne: I'm looking for Sylar.

Edgar: Me too! Let's work together.

Edgar loses his power of "quicky movey knifey throwy-ness".

Edgar: Was "Super Speed" not on the table?

Sylar (having Edgar's power): I have powers again! It's been so long...and now I lost them.

Joanne and Sylar, tied up being held by Edgar.

Edgar: Sorry, I have to keep him safe. I have orders.

Luke: I'm worried something happened to my wife. Help me, Death!

Nathan: Really? There's nobody else you could call!?

Luke and Nathan find Joanne and Sylar. Sylar swipes Luke's ability and escapes.

Sylar: If this Erica Kravid wants me so badly, she can have me.

Sylar flies off.

Edgar: We have to go after him! If he loses his ability and gets captured, we're going to be in deep doo doo.

Joanne shoots Edgar a look.

Edgar: Well, you come up with a better name for it.

Bob: Erica Kravid, she is harnessing a device that can take abilities from everyone on the planet. A virus will release that will spread to all electronic devices in the world that extracts power from anyone who harnesses one. After that, she plans on selling them back to the public for outrageous prices. To compliment this, she is also working with technology to release monsters from a videogame. She'll need Molly Walker's locator ability, Micah Sanders technical manipulation, Sylar's power retrieval, Elle's electricity, and Claire's children, Tommy and Malina's "Ultra Twin Powers" to operate the device.

Claire: "Ultra Twin Powers", what does that even mean?

Zach: Monsters are roaming the city. Some of them have been digitally transported from the video game Evernow.

Miko: That's my department.

Zach: And some are failed reapings of souls who manifested into monsters.

Everybody looks at Nathan.

Nathan: ….What?

Zach and the others break into The Company.

Erica: The building's been compromised, load everything up into the "Evil's On Wheels"...ugh, we change the name for that every time it's mentioned and I hate each new name for it more than the last.

A hooked up Micah, Phoebe Frady (Quentin's missing sister), Harris Prime and Erica board the "Mystery(vil) Machine".

Erica: Ugh...

Shaggy: Don't look now, Scoob! But we have another huge sandwich in front of us!

Scooby Doo: Ruh Roh. Hee, hee, hee, hee...

Erica: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT HAVING FOOD IN HERE?! Take that outside!

Shaggy: Zoinks!

Molly who isn't really Molly gets taken into custody at Noah's Super Secret Base.

Elle: We'll find more information on this one, Chief.

Niki: Yep.

Elle: Well, we didn't get any information from her.

Fake Molly: My real name is Fran Fine...I pretended to be your friend because she seemed like she knew how to stop The Seven. A group of seven brothers and sisters with the ability to shape shift.

Niki: So the real Molly is still out there...we have to find her!

Meanwhile, the real Molly Walker takes Matt hostage and gets into a car with Mohinder, Quentin, and Emily Duval. She makes them leave the city.

Molly: I've been on the run because I was framed by evil shape shifters. I trust absolutely nobody except for Matt, Mohinder, Bridget...

Emily: It's actually Emily. But that's okay.

Molly: And Heathcliff...the random hitchhiker we picked up.

Heathcliff: Glad to be aboard!

Quentin: Random Dude gets a pass?! What the crap, man?

Molly gets kidnapped by a fake Matt, another shape shifter poses as Molly and returns to the group as Noah, Elle and Niki walk into the Diner to find them.

Elle: How is it we were able to find Molly outside the city without any leads, but we've been relying on her to track people down since the beginning of the series?

The fake Molly blows up the building, and her and the fake Matt make off with both the real Molly and Elle.

Caspar: Caspar Abraham's the name, Pennies are my game.

Niki: Take these children I have no legal responsibility for and leave the city.

Caspar: I'll take them to Sandra Bennet's house.

Claire: And I'll be taking them back now.

Caspar: I can't do that, "Claire-Bear".

Caspar changes shape into Noah Bennet.

Claire is watching the episode on her phone.

Claire (to Peter): Seriously, how did you die in that Slenderman sketch? You were just a puddle of grease!

Peter (in his leather jacket): I died the way I wanted to because I go against all the rules.

Peter flips his hair and Claire gets splattered in the face with grease.

Claire: AAACK! Would you wash that stuff out already!?

Miko: We have to find a way to get us back into Evernow...it's the only way we can save your friend, Micah. Nathan, if we succeed...I might be able to know a way to free you of your deathly responsibilities.

Nathan: That would be great, it's a tough job...but someone's gotta do it.

Random Person: Oh my god! He's dead!

Nathan: Can someone get the door. I can't concentrate from all these people screaming…

 **Elle Bishop  
The Company Mobile Base**

Elle wakes up, Erica Kravid is in front of her.

Elle: Oh my god, how many times are you going to kidnap me, stalker?!

Erica: As many times as it takes, my plan will succeed.

Elle: I don't care how hard you try to convince me, I'll never join the _Sullivan Brothers Carnival_.

Erica: That's...not even close to what I'm going. How do you even know about that? You weren't even in that season!

Elle: That doesn't mean I'm not a fan of the show...if you couldn't tell by this sweet _merch_...

Elle shows off the T-Shirt she's wearing.

Erica: ...That's...from the show " _Will and Grace"_.

Elle: Yeah...that's what this is, right? Isn't this _Will and Grace?_

Erica: …...

 **Claire and Peter  
with special guests: An unconscious Tommy, Malina, and Sandra.  
Odessa, Texas**

Claire: Caspar's a Shape Shifter!?...You think you know somebody.

Peter: We did just meet the guy...

Claire: That's long enough! Caspar, why?

Caspar: Because...I'm evil!

Claire: …I was kinda hoping for a better explanation.

Caspar: None of that will matter once you're back in Erica's custody.

Claire: Erica...?

Caspar: Kravid.

Claire: Erica...Kravid...?

Caspar: ….You...don't know who that is?

Claire: Erica...Kravid...I know that name sounds familiar...

Caspar: She's the villain behind all the freaking plots this season! You were held captive in her prison!

Claire ponders it...

Claire: ...Erica...Kravid...nah, I got nothing. Peter?

Peter: Can't help ya. I've never seen _Will and Grace_.

Caspar: That...whatever. Everybody here is going back to Erica's prison...most importantly...The Twins.

Claire: Gasp! Tommy and Malina! Peter, we have to get them out of here.

Peter: You know Claire, Tommy and Malina aren't the only twins on the show. He could easily be referring to Nathan and myself...

Claire: ...Uh...Nathan is twelve years older than you.

Peter: Yea...So?

Claire: Then...you're not twins.

Peter: Uh...Yeah we were, we were born on the same day.

Claire: His birthday's in April and yours is in July. Oh, and did I mention that you two were born _Twelve Years apart?!_

Peter: You know what I mean. Ma was still there at the hospital to give birth to the both of us.

Claire: Hold on...You're telling me your mom was pregnant with the two of you...she had Nathan first...then twelve years later she had you DURING THE SAME HOSPITAL VISIT!?

Peter: Yep. Every time my ma wants to give me a guilt trip, she's all " _You DO realize I was in labor with you for 105,000 hours?!"_ Oh, ma...

Claire: That's stupid! Then where was Nathan when West and I went to the past and accidentally became your parents because we screwed up the timeline? _Wait...Where WAS Nathan when West and I went to the past and accidentally became your parents because we screwed up the timeline?! We raised you for six years!_ That's a HUGE plot hole!

Caspar: I'm so glad I'm just sitting here while you two yammer on...

Claire: I need to call West...

Claire leaves the room.

Caspar: Uh...where is she going?

Peter: ...She's onto something _extraordinary..._

Peter turns toward the kitchen.

Peter: CLAIRE! Are you grabbing me another cookie?

Claire: No! We ate them all!

Peter: Oh...(back to Caspar)...then yeah, I have no idea what she's doing...

 _As the world turns..._

 **WILL AND GRACE**

Niki: Uh...did I miss something?

 **Noah, Niki, Mohinder, Matt, Emily, Quentin  
Driving away from the Diner**

Noah: This is bad. Elle and Molly are both missing...they must have been taken back to Erica. We have to get them back!

Niki: Where are we even going to begin finding this mobile base they're on? And if they still have a power dampener, then I won't be able to rely on my anger to get us on their.

Matt: Or my power of _Brain Things_.

Niki: Matt, you haven't used your _Brain Things_ in years...and I'm not even talking about your powers.

Matt: I'll have you know I try not to use my abilities since...the accident.

Many years ago... _At Halliwell Manor. The Halliwell sisters, Prue, Piper, and Matt go into the attic and join together surrounding The Book Of Shadows._

Prue: Okay, everyone, get ready. We're about to get attacked by Warlocks!

Piper: I'll be ready to freeze time!

Prue: I'll be ready to squint and make people go flying. And Phoebe...

Matt: Yes?

Prue: You will...?

Matt: Envision a future where you two freeze time and make people go flying.

They join hands around the book.

Matt: _Light as a feather, stiff as a board...light as a feather, still as a board._

Prue: It's...not that kind of spell, Phoebe.

Matt: I have to sneeze...ACHHHOOOOOO!

The Mansion explodes, going up in a fiery blaze.

KABOOOOOM!

Prue and Piper: EEEEEK! (They flee from the burning house)

Matt: Guys, help! One of my contacts popped out! Oh, I can just cover up that eye with my hand, that works! _Why do I smell burning Witch_...oh, that's me.

Niki: Are you telling me my lake house that mysteriously went up in flames last summer to what I thought was a gas leak but was just you and your friends playing _Charmed?!_

Matt: _Playing_?..(laughs)..oh Niki, what a very _Muggle_ thing to say...

Niki: That's not even the same franchise!

 **Zach, Hiro, Ando, Miko  
The Company Super Secret Hideout Underneath Elle's Ice Cream Store Detective Agency**

Zach: How's it coming along in here?

Hiro: It's going great. Ando is just about finished developing the headset that will teleport the user inside the game.

Zach: And...this is supposed to help Micah?

Miko: Yes...Ando will send me back into the game...but I'll need some people to come with me to help rescue Micah. He cannot be saved in the real world...only in Evernow's World.

Hiro: It'll be just like _Sword Art Online_...except that if you die in the world, you die for real.

Zach: …

Hiro: Oh wait...nevermind, it's just like Sword Art Online _._

Zach: Couldn't Ando just develop it so that people don't die if they die in the game?

Hiro: It's much easier to develop it this way.

Zach: I can't wrap my head around that logic...so, carry on?

Ando: Okay, I'm going to test the prototype.

A loading screen appears on Ando's monitor, underneath it reads:

 **Chapter Nine "The Beta Test"**

Miko: Once we're ready, I don't care who comes with me...except I will need one person in particular.

Zach: Who?

 **Nathan, Joanne, Luke, and Edgar driving back into the city.**

Nathan (driving): …...

Luke (in the back seat): Is everything okay?

Nathan: …..I am needed elsewhere. I'm sorry, you'll have to do this without me.

Nathan waves his hands in front of his face.

Nathan: POOF!

Nathan opens the car door and dives out, rolling in the street.

Edgar, Luke, Joanne: AHHHHHHH!

The car crashes into the street light.

Joanne: What the hell, man!?

Luke: I will admit, he's gotten better at teleporting.

Edgar: The person I stole this car from isn't going to be happy.

Nathan walks into the Underground Secret Company Headquarters.

Nathan: Why am I back here?

Miko: I'm sorry if you had to travel far...we faked a death using this doll made out of Hostess Zebra Cakes.

Hiro (stuffing his face): A murder most fowl...CHOMP!

Nathan: What is WITH you people and faking deaths?! It's no wonder I can't get to any actual work done around here!

Outside: Help! My neighbor just got trampled by a Marching Band! She looks super dead!

Nathan: How many times do I have to tell someone to close that door….?

Miko: Nathan, I wanted to keep my promise to you. I want to relieve you of your duties as Grim Reaper.

Nathan: I wouldn't really call them "Duties" since I've only successfully reaped the souls of like, five people.

Miko: If you help us stop Erica Kravid's plan, and restore the world of Evernow to what it once was, I will promise I will remove your powers of Death...by becoming Death itself.

Nathan: Is...that something you can even do?

Miko: Of course, because videogames.

Nathan: Well, okay then….

Meanwhile, back on the mobile base.

Elle (in prison): Yep…imprisoned again.

Elle looks over across the room to see a Harris Clone sleeping in a chair, a large key ring hangs from his belt.

Elle: Well, I know how I'm getting out of here.

Elle reaches her arm through the cell bars. Inexplicably, her hand makes it over to the Harris Clone. She grabs the key ring and moves it out of her way, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. She brings it back over to her cell.

Elle: Heh, heh, heh….thanks to this credit card, I can order myself a lock picking kit and I'll be out of here in no time!

Meanwhile, West answers his phone.

West: Lawyer speaking.

Claire: West!

West: Claire, you sound frantic. Is everything okay?

Claire: No! When you and I went into the past and raised Peter, where was Nathan?

West: Good question. He's older than Peter so he would have been around by that time. Sounds like a huge plot hole to me.

Claire: I know, right?

West: Well, good talking to you, Claire…

Claire: WAIT! I called for another reason. We're being held captive by a dangerous shapeshifter. You have to help!

West: What?! Okay! I'm on my way! Be careful, I'll be there soon.

West runs outside the building, he pulls out his phone.

West (to his phone) Siri, I need directions to Claire's House in Odessa, Texas!

Siri: I cannot reply to your request because you do not have an iPhone, West. Even this explanation would be impossible, but I thought you should know anyway so you would stop asking me things.

West: And I'm off! Thanks, Siri!

West leaps into the sky and takes off.

West: It's been a while since I've flown anywhere. The people look so small from up here. (To phone) Siri, how many people are on Earth?

Siri: What did I JUST tell you, West!?

Niki, Noah and the others return from the Diner.

Niki: I'm sorry, come again?

And: You guys are going to be hooked up to these nifty new Evernow headsets and go into the game world to save Micah. It's the only way to stop Erica's evil plan.

Noah: Are you sure playing around in a game is the right thing we need to do and not go after Erica directly?

Miko: If she also has Elle and Molly, there is no telling how much longer it will take for her to get the others rounded up. We don't have much time left and have no idea where to find her now that her base is mobile. Once she has everybody, everyone's powers will be gone.

Nathan: And Sylar got his powers back and went after her…so he's probably doomed by now.

Miko: This way we can rescue Micah and stop the virus.

Niki: But doesn't Erica have Micah? What will saving him in the world do?

Miko: We can alter the virus where it won't actually take away everyone's powers. We will also stop digital monsters from spawning into the real world. If we can break the program from the inside, she would have no leverage.

Noah: So, how does this work?

Zach: Miko, Nathan, Hiro, Matt, Niki, and Noah will go into the game while me, Quentin, Emily, Mohinder and Ando monitor your progress. You will need to venture to the castle where Micah is being held prisoner. Free him and he should be able to use his ability to alter the virus' code and stop the monster spawns.

Noah: Why do I have to go again?

Ando: Because there are six headsets, I need a party of six and nobody else can go.

Noah: Uh huh.

Ando: Okay, I need to assign a class to each of you.

Miko: Assassin.

Nathan: …I don't know, what can I be?

Hiro: You can be a Flying Man!

Ando: Okay, Bird Man has been assigned.

Nathan: WHAT?!

Hiro: I'll be the Cleric!

Ando: Okay, Matt?

Matt: Wizard!

Ando: Niki?

Niki: What is left?

Ando: Knight and Old Master.

Niki: Knight it is.

Noah: Oh, nice. What does an Old Master do?

Ando: Tells stories of olden times while stroking your beard.

Noah: Thanks, I hate it.

Ando: Okay, everyone suit up. It's time to start the test.

Niki: Test?

Ando: Yeah, I need to see how your bodies react to the game world to see if anyone dies.

Niki: Oh, that's comforting.

Elle breaks out of the prison.

Elle: UGH! That took forever! I knew I should have paid extra for shipping on that lock picking kit.

Elle walks down a set of stairs and comes across a room marked private.

Elle: Very interesting…

Elle strokes her long beard.

Elle: Why do I have on this Old Master beard?

Elle rips it out.

RIIIIP!

Elle: AHHHH! It was real! I forgot to shave! Oh, that smarts…

Elle goes in to find Molly tied up.

Elle: Molly!

Elle runs over and starts shaking her.

Elle: Molly! Speak to me!

Molly (being shook): I can't because you're shaking out my neck bones!

Elle: Sorry about that, it's how I greet everybody.

Molly: I'm sorry. I was fooled by a shape shifter and got caught. I thought it was Matt…

Elle: Who wouldn't want to shape shift into Matt. He's one of the coolest members of the cast. If not the sexiest…

Niki, who is reading the script, squints her eyes. She closes the cover to see **'Written By: Matt R.R Parkman'** typed on the front.

Niki: Uh huh….thought so.

She lights the script on fire.

Elle: We have to get out of here!

Molly: It will never work….

Elle: What, because of all the Clones, Shapeshifters, and Digital Monsters? That's easy as pie….."Easy As Pie"? Is that a real saying? How is Pie easy? That can't be a thing. Someone get me a Librarian…

Molly: I talked to Micah…but just for a short time.

Elle turns around to see Micah hooked up to a machine.

Elle: Oh, Hi Micah! Why is he hooked up like this again? Are we ripping off the Genesis Redux storyline we did a few seasons back? Was that him or Hiro? Oh, I should have watched more Will and Grace. I say I did but I've never seen a single episode. I'm a fraud!

Molly: I was thrown into this cell…when I came to…I saw him hooked up.

Flashback to when Molly was imprisoned.

Molly: Micah! I can't believe they put us in the same cell. That was really irresponsible on their part.

Micah opens his eyes slightly.

Molly: Don't worry, Micah. We'll get you out of here. We're going to stop Erica Kravid and all the plot lines she's currently villain-ing over.

Micah: We….can't….do….anything…

Molly: Huh?

Micah: They….have….to….go….inside….Ev…Ever…Eveerrrrr….

Present Time.

Elle: Ever…What?…..Ever After? EverQuest? EverWood? Ever-y Breath you Take, Every Move You Make, I'll Be Watching You?

Molly: Evernow….The Game.

Elle: Oh….

Molly: Apparently we can try and stop Erica, but she's not the problem.

Elle: There's MORE than one villain this season!?

Molly: She had the virus created and was going to distribute it….but little does she know. It's far more dangerous than she could imagine. It's not going to matter if she gets all the people she needs. The virus is going to break from the system and infect…everything.

Elle: That sounds bad.

Molly: It is bad.

Elle: AHHHH!

Molly: The original virus was going to infect electronic devices and take powers….when this virus breaks loose….it will kill everything on the planet.

Elle: On no!….How many people will that affect?

Molly: Um…well, everyone. I guess the number doesn't matter if…

Elle (to her phone): Siri, how many people on Earth will be affected if everyone dies?

Siri: I'm afraid I can't answer that Elle, as you're talking to a brick of fudge.

Elle slows takes off her glasses.

Elle: My god….

Molly: Whose glasses were those?

Elle: Found them on the street.

Molly: You know it's not a good idea to wear other people's glasses.

Elle: We don't have time for this, Giant Blur, we have to get out of here.

Molly: Did you just call me "Giant Blur"?

West lands a little ways from Claire's house. There are guards surrounding the area.

West: Okay….if I'm going to save Claire, I'm going to have to take these guys out one by one.

West stealthily floats in the sky and over the guards. One by one, he swoops down, clasps his hand of the mouth, and takes off with them into the sky. When all of the outside guards are gone, he lands and dusts his hands off.

West: All in a day's work. Now…

West runs up to the door and flings it open to find Caspar.

West: EEP!

Caspar smacks West in the face with a suitcase and tackles him.

West: Uh…OW!

Caspar: You're not stopping us!

West: Yes I am!...Ugh…that's a lame line. Oh! I got a good comeback. Say "You're not stopping us, again!"

Caspar: NO!

West: Ugh, you're no fun.

West grabs Caspar's arms and takes off into the sky. Claire runs outside, followed by Peter.

Peter: I'm going after them, hold my lemonade.

Claire: Where did you get lemonade?

Peter: It's an old Petrelli recipe.

Claire: Uh…it's JUST lemonade. We're talking three ingredients here. Lemons, Water, Sugar. Boom!

Peter: But the Petrelli's like their lemonade with a little pizazz.

Claire: And that is.

Peter: Absolutely….No Water.

Claire: How does that make a drinkable beverage. Water makes up most of the drink?

Peter: You just replace the water…with more lemon juice.

Claire: Oh Barf….then you're just drinking a giant glass of sugary lemon juice.

Peter hands her a glass.

Peter: Don't knock it until you try it.

Claire grimaces while slowly reaching for the glass.

Claire: If this kills me, I'm haunting the crap out of you.

Claire takes a gulp of the lemonade.

Claire: UUUUGGGGHHH! ACK! BLEH! *COUGH* *COUGH*

Peter stands there, smiling.

Peter: Well….

Claire: Oh..my….(she scrunches her face from the tartness of the drink). I feel like a freshly salted slug! I can see sounds! My throat is closing up!

Peter: Well….

Claire: Ugh…bleh…

She sticks out her tongue a few times.

Claire: …

Peter: ….Aaaand….

Claire: …..It's delicious.

Peter: I TOLD YOU!

Claire: Yeah, I want one.

Peter: Okay, I'll do that then get back to the action.

Peter and Claire go back inside.

West and Caspar are in mid air. Spike shoot out from Caspar's arms.

West: What the?!

Caspar: Yeah, still a shape shifter.

West: You can shape into spikes!? That's cheating!

Caspar: Not just any spikes…

West: I feel a little poisoned-ish.

Caspar: That's right. They're poisoned…well, so much for the reveal since you just said you were poisoned. Whatever, bye!

West falls back towards the ground. Caspar shape shifts into West and lands in front of the house.

Claire runs out with a glass of Lemonade in her hand and another hand in front of her guiding as she has her eyes clenched shut from the drink.

Claire: West! You saved us!

Fake West: That's right! I saved you.

Claire: What happened to Caspar?

Fake West: He got sucked into a jet engine.

Claire: Yike.

Fake West: Yike indeed. Now we have no time to waste, Erica's goons are right down the street. Go get the others and we can get away in this van.

Claire: Okay!

Tommy and Malina are still unconscious. Peter carries them both out and helps get them into the Van.

Fake West: Okay, good. Now you can go.

Peter: Huh?

Fake West kicks Peter in the stomach, sending him flying out of the van. The doors close and takes off down the road.

Fake West: Sorry, Pete…just finishing the mission.

Peter: Ow my stomach…I'm not supposed to get feet in it….

Claire stumbles out carrying another glass of lemonade. She eyes are closed tight from the drink as she has her hand out in front of her to guide her around.

Claire: What did I miss? What happened? Peter! Ugh…I've got to stop drinking this stuff. *SIIIIIIIP!*

Meanwhile, back on the mobile base.

Elle: Okay, enough farting around. We need to blow this popsicle stand. Pronto!

Molly: We might as well wait. Like you said, there are too many clones. You can't use powers.

Elle: Why the crap not?!

Voice: Because of her…

Elle turns around to see Erica, Harris-Prime, and Phoebe Frady. She is conjuring a plume of dark smoke around her hands.

Elle: Who is that?

Erica: Meet Phoebe Frady. She is preventing you from using powers.

Elle: Phoebe….Frady….Frady…..that name sounds familiar….

Flashback to Quintin talking to Elle about his missing sister.

Elle: I got it! Phoebe Frady co-starred with Martin Landau on the 1966 American television show, Mission Impossible! I learned that from Siri! Thanks, talking fudge!

Siri: I can't with these people…

Molly: Why are you doing this?

Erica: You're expecting me to go into a long spiel explaining my backstory and how I got in the villain game?

Elle: -sigh-…I guess.

Erica: Well, here it is….

Molly: ….

Elle: …..

Erica: …I like money.

Molly: ….THAT'S IT!?

Erica: Yes, I'm a business woman. I run businesses that make me money. Before I took over Primatech Paper….I…wasn't doing so good.

Erica turns around while a spotlight shines on her.

Molly: uhhh….

Elle: Ugh, there's a backstory after all. I'm sitting down for this.

Erica: Once upon a time, I was running my own Paper Company. It wasn't doing as good as my rival, Primatech Paper.

Flashback to Erica going into the restroom.

Elle: Gross! I don't want to hear this!

Erica: It's not what you think, you idiot!

Erica looks at herself in the mirror.

Erica: My company was going under. I don't know what I was going to do. I put my entire life's work into my job…and it was all going to be for nothing. Then…I met someone.

Elle: Awww, a love story. I LOVE love stories. I'll have you know, I'm a strong supporter of love. That's also why I became an ordained Minister. I think everyone should live in Holy Alimony!

Molly: ….don't you mean 'Matrimony'?

Elle: Aren't they the same thing?

Molly: Um, no...Alimony is what one pays their spouse after a divorce.

Elle: Oh…..that would explain all the dirty looks I got from the couples….

Erica: Trying to tell a story here.

Elle: STILL!? UGH!

Erica: I looked up….and couldn't believe what I saw in the mirror….I saw…..MYSELF.

Elle: That's kinda how mirrors work…DUH!

Erica: WOULD YOU STOP INTERRUPTING ME?!

Elle: I'd stop interrupting you if you'd finish this damn story already.

Erica turns around, she see's herself.

Fake Erica: It looks like you could use some help, Miss Kravid.

Erica: Who are you?

Fake Erica: Anybody. Somebody you can use to your advantage. My brothers and sisters would like to help you get what you need.

Erica: But…why would you help me? We've never met….at least…I don't think we did.

Fake Erica: The man I work for….he wanted me to give you this….

Erica takes a piece of paper. It is filled with notes and drawings.

Erica: What is this?

Fake Erica: I'll call you on Monday. I'll make sure this Company will be yours. But this will only be a stepping stone. Just follow these instructions and get what you need, and you'll have an even greater business venture in front of you.

Erica: I still don't understand what you gain out of this….

Fake Erica: It's not about us gaining anything. We want you to succeed….and we want our boss to succeed.

Erica: Who…is your boss?

Fake Erica: Heh….I don't know….we've never met him. But we were born for this assignment. Failure is not an option.

Elle wakes up with a hand print on her face.

Elle: What happened?

Molly: So…you're randomly following the orders of a shape shifter?

Erica: Yes….they are all working for me to get me to build this machine. When the virus takes over and steals everybody's powers, I'll make millions selling the powers back to the general public. I'll have my money, my business…and whatever makes these shape shifters happy.

Molly: Uh huh….I still don't know why you told us this.

Erica: It's what all villain's do. Now, if you'll excuse me…I still need Sylar and The Twins to complete my mission.

A door flings open and Sylar walks in.

Sylar: Looking for me?

Sylar throws out a hand…and nothing happens.

Sylar: …Uh….

Erica: Power dampener.

Sylar: Oh…I didn't take that into consideration.

A Harris clone knocks out Sylar.

Erica: Okay…I only need the Twins to…

Erica gets a text message on her phone.

Erica: Oh…well, this is fantastic. I have all the pieces I need. Get comfortable…I will be using you all very shortly.

Erica, Harris, and Phoebe start to leave the room.

Elle: Question, if there are power dampeners, how do clones work?

Erica: I asked Phoebe not to block his powers.

Elle: Hmm…simple enough…..

Molly: Something's not right. I met a shape shifter in prison….they warned me about Erica Kravid….is one of them betraying her….?

Elle: This is quite the mystery indeed, Giant Blur.

Molly: Are you still wearing those glasses?!

Ando: Okay….executing The Beta Test in….5…..4…3…..2…..1…..Engage!

Ando clicks connect. Matt, Miko, Nathan, Niki, Noah and Hiro are sitting in a row of seats with headsets on.

Niki opens her eyes….she is in a fantasy world.

Matt: Whoa….neat….

Nathan looks at himself, he is covered in feathers.

Nathan: I'm a literal "Bird-Man"…what use is this?!

Back on the Mobile Base…a Harris clone is watching some activity on his monitor. He gets up and confronts Erica in the hall.

Harris-872: Miss Kravid. I detected some anomalies in the Evernow server. It seems that some human players have entered the game world.

Erica: It doesn't matter now. I have all the pieces I need. Get the devices prepared…we're ready to proceed.

Claire is running in the field.

Claire: West! West! You better be out here, I hate running into random fields!

West: Poisoned over here!

Claire: West! What happened, you look all poisoned.

West: I was poisoned…by Caspar….

Peter runs up.

Peter: Claire, what happened? Did you find West? I hope so because I hate running into random fields.

Claire: Peter! West was poisoned by Caspar!

Peter: He was poisoned by pennies?

Claire: Preposterous! You cannot possibly get poisoned by pennies.

Peter: Not true. I have a pal in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania who was possibly poisoned by pennies.

Claire: What pal?

Peter: Patty.

Claire: Patty?

Peter: Patty Patterson. My pal who lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Claire: Patty Patterson, your pal from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania was possibly poisoned by pennies?!

Peter: Pretty much. His Pa, Papa Parker Patterson who is the proprietor of a popular pocket pancake place told me that his son Patty Patterson was possibly poisoned by pennies.

Claire: How did he found that out?

Peter: By using Pinterest!

Claire: Peter, there's no way that Papa Parker Patterson, the proprietor of a popular pocket pancake place and is the Pa of your Pal Patty Patterson from Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, learned that his son was possibly poisoned by pennies from using Pinterest!

West: This poison isn't poisoning me fast enough.

Claire: Don't worry, West. I'll save you…the same way I save everyone on this show. By injecting them with my blood.

She pulls out a syringe.

West: You just carry random syringes of blood on you?

Claire: Of course.

West: Okay then.

Peter: Sandra's okay, but that shape shifter made off with Tommy and Malina…so we need to get back to the city, and fast!

West: Right…so…how do I get one of these pocket pancakes?

Tommy wakes up, Malina is still unconscious. He looks over to find "Claire" next to him.

Fake Claire: Tommy! Are you okay?

Tommy: Yeah….I think Malina's still out though…

Fake Claire: It's okay, she'll be fine. We need to get out of here.

Tommy: What happened to Peter, and…uh…

Fake Claire: ….uh…who?

Tommy: Well, it's Grandma…but she had this logic that she became a Grandmother out of nowhere…so she wanted me and Malina to call her "InstaGrams"…and….yeah, I didn't really want to do that.

Fake Claire: Oh, she's fine. We need to get out of here, I have a place we can hide out. 4421 West Main Street, New York. We have a hideout there.

Malina (waking up): What's going on? Where's InstaGrams?

Tommy: I thought we agreed we weren't calling her that?

Malina: I don't know, it's growing on me.

Tommy: Okay, I'm going to try and get us out of here.

Tommy grabs Fake Claire and Malina's hands and teleports. They appear in New York in front of a building, and in front of Erica's mobile base. Erica is standing outside of it.

Erica: Hello.

Tommy and Malina: AHHHH! SIDESHOW BOB!

Erica: Uh….excuse me?

Malina: Why did we do that, again?

Tommy: Because Uncle Peter owes us fifty bucks now.

Malina: Wait…does that mean?

Fake Claire: Evil Shapeshifter.

Malina: Tommy, it's a trap!

Tommy: Good luck trying to catch us….

Tommy and Malina stand there.

Malina: Tommy?  
Tommy: I can't teleport. I guess they're going to catch us…

Erica: Yeah, you can thank her for that.

They look over to see Phoebe dampening their powers.

Erica: Take them away, and give them the dirtiest cell for that Sideshow Bob comment!

NOW LOADING EVERNOW….WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF EVERNOW ONLINE.

Niki and the others are inside the World of Evernow.

Hiro: Wow! This is so cool. I can't believe I'm inside the game.

Niki: This armor stinks!

Noah: I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Nathan: Why am I an actual Bird-Man?! Why is that a class? I'm molting feathers!

Hiro: That's the spirit!

Matt (holding a book with one hand and an ice cube in the other): Okay, I'm going to cast my first spell….I need to read this incantation for 16 hours and this Ice will turn into Water….COOL!

Niki: Okay, someone tell us what we have to do so we can be done with this?

Miko: Up there…

Miko points to a Castle far away.

Miko: That is the Castle of the Evil Overlord. I can guarantee Micah is imprisoned in there.

Niki: If we save him, then maybe he can stop the Virus.

Miko: Yes, or alter it so it doesn't take away people's abilities as Erica intended.

Niki: All right people, let's get this over with.

Zach (to Ando): How's it going?

Ando: Good, they're all connected. They just need to make their way to the Castle.

Niki (from the game): Ando, question! Why were we dropped off in this stupid village a million miles from the Castle and…oh, I don't know…not IN FRONT OF IT?!

Ando: What video game starts you at the very end of the game?!

Niki: Groan…

Erica enters a room in the Mobile Base. Micah, Molly, Elle, Tommy, Malina, and Sylar are all hooked up to a device.

Erica: Looks like I have all the pieces I need. You all are going to do great.

Elle: Question.

Erica: Ugh….what?

Elle: So…Micah has his computer-y abilities. Molly can locate people. I can supercharge things with my electricity I guess…and Sylar can lob off scalps.

Sylar: I don't do that anymore! Sheesh!

Elle: So….what do they do again? (motions to Tommy and Malina)

Tommy: Teleport.

Malina: Control elements.

Elle: And….how does that pertain to any of this?

Elle: It's not about what their powers can do individually. But with their powers combined…

Elle: They become Captain Planet?! OOH, I'M SO JEALOUS!

Erica: Someone start the damn machine, I'm sick of talking to these people!

A Harris clone first up the machine. A mechanical collar encloses around the necks of everyone and light up.

Molly: This is bad….this is really bad.

Elle: I know…the color of my collar is hideous. Can someone swap me for a green collar? I want something that goes with my eyes.

Back in the game…

Niki: Uh….What the hell is THAT!?

The group looks up in the sky to see a purple cloud spreading across the sky.

Matt: Magic is coming to Storybrooke!

Miko: That's not magic….

Ando: I don't know what it is…all the code is getting corrupted.

Mohinder: Do you think it's the virus?

Zach: Unless if Erica has everyone she needs. We know she has Molly, Micah, and Elle. Unless if she has the Twins and Sylar…

The phone starts to ring. Zach picks it up.

Zach: Hello?

Claire: Hey Zach, it's Claire. I wanted to tell you that evil shapeshifters made off with my kids. We got to New York and that crazy woman who was trying to kill us earlier and almost killed us again…

Joanne (standing outside of a different car with Luke and Edgar): Well, that's what you get for walking on the sidewalk…

Claire: So I'm going to safely assume Sylar's been captured. Just wanted to touch base how screwed we are.

Zach: Very.

Zach (hanging up): They need to get to that Castle, now.

Claire: DID HE JUST HANG UP ON ME!?

Mohinder: So the virus is spreading in the game, now what?

Ando: If the virus makes it to Micah, the system will crash and from what I can tell, there a programmed script which releases it to an outside source….that must be when it comes out to the real world.

Zach: Can't you move them to the Castle?

Ando: I can't, they're already in the game. Altering their position while in a live state could corrupt the code…but there's a bigger problem.

Zach: What's that?

Ando: That virus will likely terminate any actual connections.

Mohinder: What does that mean?

Ando: If they don't get to Micah in time and complete the game…I won't be able to log them out.

Zach: WHAT?!

Ando: They'll be trapped in the game….forever.

Niki: What did you just say?!

Ando: Oh, Niki, sorry…I meant to mute my microphone as to not alarm any of the players. Oops!

Niki: Why do I keep getting myself involved with these things?

A random feather lands in Niki's mouth.

Niki: PTTT…BLEH!...

She glares at Nathan.

Nathan: Don't look at me….

 **To Be Continued**


End file.
